Dawn Images

After three years of distance, meltdowns, and holding it together while falling apart inside, Saheefa Jabbar Khattak is finally where she always dreamed of being — on a couch in downtown Toronto, next to her husband, Khawaja Khizer Hussain.

In a series of heartfelt, no-holds-barred Instagram stories, the model-turned-actor shared everything she’s been through while waiting to call Canada home, detailing her journey full of emotional chaos, quiet strength, and a love that endured continents.

“Three years. It took us three years to get here. Through meltdowns and messy phases, some seen by the world, most suffered in silence,” she wrote. “We made it.”

Khattak and Hussain, who got married in 2017, have been in a long-distance marriage for most of their relationship — something she’s opened up about before. In an interview with Faysal Qureshi on his podcast, she talked about having to endure a long-distance relationship.

“People ask me for tips on how to lose weight. And I advise them to also send their husbands away, impose a long-distance relationship on themselves, and live with the fact that neither can they go to their spouses, nor can their husbands leave Canada to meet them,” she had said.

In her recent note, she peeled back more layers. “People might say, ‘You had it easy. You had the money, the support, the youth.’ But trust me, we’ve seen our share of dark days. Days when Khawaja Saab was stuck in Canada, and I was on the edge, fighting for my life, OD’ing in silence. He never even wanted this life — he was only here for me. For my dream.”

And while she had people around her — her mother-in-law holding space for her with warm food and gentle words, as well as her brother and friends showing up when she needed them — Khattak still felt a kind of loneliness that couldn’t be explained. “Even with the strongest support system, I often felt lost. A void inside me is still there today.”

After taking a break from work in late 2024 thinking it’d be a short one, things spiralled. “I couldn’t get up. One thing after another kept pulling me down. And still, in that chaos, I found grace.”

The grace, she said, came in unexpected forms — a few good souls at the gym dragging her out of bed, friends checking in, and small bursts of love returning to torn-up places. “I never thought I’d leave pieces of my heart in Pakistan, but I did,” she shared. “I left behind people who are part of my soul.”

Now, she’s finally in Canada, with her husband, her younger brother, and a sense of starting over. “No, I’ll never have it all. I’ll always leave pieces of myself behind wherever I go. But maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be — we leave, we find, we give, we grow.”

It’s not a fairytale ending, and Khattak isn’t pretending it is. But it is a new chapter, one she’s choosing to embrace, mess and all.

“2025. A year of new beginnings. Of learning to sit quietly with the mess. Of telling yourself: whatever this is, pain or joy, it has come with its own kind of beauty. And if I could go back, and live it all over again, I would. Because every heartbreak, every fight, every hug, it was all worth it.”

In the podcast with Qureshi, Khattak also said, “It’s not easy. Resolvable fights drag on for weeks all because of our phones. Long-distance is terrible,” she shared. “Of course, there’s the pro that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but honestly I would rather live with the person.”