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In a deeply polarising moment, model-turned-actor Saheefa Jabbar Khattak took to Instagram to air her grievances about how her domestic help, Musarrat, had “wasted” the charity money she had been given and the internet was none too happy with her comments.

The post is being called out as tone-deaf.

In it, Jabbar lamented that Musarrat had spent the Rs50,000 she gave her in just two days — on Eid clothes and a bicycle for her children. This, according to Jabbar, was a misuse of the money. She wrote that she believed she should have made the purchases herself instead of giving Musarrat the money to use.

“It hurts to see that when you try to help people who are underprivileged, they end up wasting money,” she wrote, going on to detail how she would’ve made ‘better’ spending choices for Musarrat — thrift shopping, Liberty Market, stitched fabrics.

What was perhaps most jarring wasn’t just her micromanagement of someone else’s finances, but the invasive dissection of Musarrat’s personal life.

In a move many called outright humiliating, Jabbar publicly shared details about the condition of Musarrat’s bathroom, her home’s leaky roof, and her children’s material needs — painting a pitiful portrait of her help without consent, in, as several commenters pointed out, a language Musarrat likely doesn’t even understand.

‘This isn’t charity, it’s a power play

Social media was quick to call out the actor’s comments. One user described it as “a power move disguised as kindness,” highlighting the unsettling tendency to dictate the lives of those receiving charity.

“Why are the poor held to such insane standards?” another questioned.

Commenters slammed the post as performative. Many noted that if the money was truly given in the spirit of charity, the giver had no right to police its use.

Another pointed out the disturbing class disconnect in Jabbar’s post.

Doubling down in the comments

After the backlash, Jabbar doubled down on, vehemently defending her position in lengthy comment replies, rattling off a list of things she and her family had done for Musarrat over the years, ranging from giving her toys, PR packages, chocolates and clothes from her shoots.

At one point, she even claimed: “If I take you to her house, everything she owns is given to her by me.”

Her comments left many baffled and several commenters pointed out the irony of trying to teach financial literacy while bragging about her own generosity and reducing Musarrat’s dignity to a list of donated goods.

She even stated: “I take Musarrat as my sister. And as an older sister, I will always slap the s**t out of my sister for wasting money like that especially when she is one of the needy ones,” further infantilising and policing a grown woman who simply made personal spending choices that brought momentary joy to her family.

After posting videos with Musarrat in which they laughed at the backlash, she then made a second post in which she doubled down on her sentiments even more and said, “I believe in financial responsibility, not just for myself but for those who work for me. I want my house help to secure her future, take care of her children, ensure their health and education, and safeguard her home and family. Saving money is not greed; it’s survival.”

She then took a shot at celebrities and influencers who, in her words, “Fly business class, stay in five-star hotels, get paid for lavish trips, all under the name of raising funds for the underprivileged?”

She also slammed her detractors, asking “How many of you are truly willing to break the class divide you claim to care about? Would you share your plate with your house help? Drink from the same glass? Sit at the same dining table? Let them wear your clothes? If not, then stop the hypocrisy.”

Some comments on the post reminded her that she seemed to have missed the point entirely. One person highlighted that basic respect wasn’t being accorded to Musarrat.

One person agreed with Jabbar’s sentiment but said the main issue was the public shaming of her house help.

The situation highlighted a prevalent issue in South Asia that is deeply entrenched in class dynamics where charity often comes with strings attached and a voyeuristic need to “correct” the lifestyles of the underprivileged. The question it raises is simple yet uncomfortable — is it still generosity if it comes with judgment and surveillance?

That Jabbar provides for the people in her employ is good. That she recognises that they require money is good. But that she is shaming a grown adult online for her financial choices is not good. If a grown adult wants to spend their money — and once you give charity to someone, it becomes their money — on something, that is their choice. It may not be the choice you would make, but that’s where free will comes in.

As many people in the comments pointed out — the choices of the underprivileged are often policed from a position of extreme privilege, as if they don’t deserve nice things or small joys.

If this incident teaches us anything, it is that the dignity of those we claim to help should never be up for dissection on social media.