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Actor and model Saheefa Jabbar Khattak is reflecting on her life-long dreams, her priorities, and how they have shifted since October 7. The actor, who’s always dreamt of getting an education from Juilliard or the New York Film Academy, working in Hollywood and eventually, getting an Oscar, is no longer interested in any of those things.

Instead, recent events have led her to question the global entertainment industry’s moral values and ethical standing, changing her perspective altogether.

“My family and best friends know that since joining the [entertainment] industry, my only dream has been to win an Oscar,” Jabbar wrote. “However, very recently, after reading, observing, and learning, I realised this is not what I truly want. My core doesn’t desire something so dark, filled with people who are child molesters, abusers, involved in human trafficking, and silent about genocides around the world.”

The actor recalled how over a year ago, she was studying and manifesting to attend Juilliard for a degree in acting. “Until a few months ago, all the mirrors in my house had a long list of goals I wanted to achieve, with winning an Oscar at the top. Despite praying and manifesting, I would ask Allah why I wasn’t getting the right opportunity or the medium to grow. Now I understand why,” she said.

The actor said that while speaking to a few people at the airport about everything the local TV and film industry lacks, when asked about moving to Bollywood or Hollywood, for the first time her instant response was “no”.

“For the first time, fearlessly and openly, I expressed that I didn’t wish for that anymore,” she said. “An artist dreams of working with the best, honing their craft, learning, and creating more, but I no longer wish that for myself.”

For Jabbar, a turning point came when she witnessed the world’s response (or lack thereof) to Israel’s relentless bombardment of Palestine and indifference on the part of major celebrities. The actor expressed her shock at the industry’s silence, noting the dark underbelly of abuse and exploitation that goes unreported.

“What’s been happening in Palestine since October 7 and how these two giants have remained silent about it, how influential people haven’t said a word, is disheartening,” she continued. “When you dig deeper, you uncover a series of stories involving rape, molestation, abuse, and other dark, satanic activities. I don’t think I would ever want to be part of that.”

Jabbar also expressed a newfound appreciation for her religion, suggesting that her previous pursuits were rooted in superficial desires. “Seeing how the West is studying Islam and converting so rapidly makes me realise how right our religion was all along. We’ve been so obsessed with what was shown to us, which was nothing but darkness and pain,” she said.

The model remains uncertain about her future but acknowledges the possibility of finding opportunities that align with her values. “I don’t know what the future holds,” she concluded. “I might get an opportunity that resonates with my soul, and I might work in that. But if you ask me right now, this world has become almost unliveable.”