Images

Dear Quratulain Balouch, 'real feminists' don't bash other women

Dear Quratulain Balouch, 'real feminists' don't bash other women

"Real feminist gets down to work and wastes no time shouting for her “rights”," tweeted QB. Oh sweetie...
Updated 06 Mar, 2020

For the past two years, the month of March has been a very charged time in Pakistan. Ever since women started taking to the streets and literally marching for their rights countrywide on International Women's Day, men have been getting really worked up about it.

But it really stings when a woman bashes the movement.

Singer Quratulain Balouch took to Twitter yesterday to remind us of the dichotomy between "real" and "fake" feminists:

"Real feminist gets down to work and wastes no time shouting for her “rights”," she tweeted.

Lets just back up a little...

You have the privileges you enjoy because of all the "shouting" women have done before you to pave the way.

Quick question: how are women supposed to "get down to work" when so many of them aren't even allowed to work?

We march so that no woman has to ask for permission for how she chooses to live her life.

Also, why is rights in quotation marks?

While we get that actions speak louder than words, if anything's going to change, we need to first be having these conversations.

Painting us off as unruly, shouting, angry women is just a tactic used by the patriarchy to diminish us; feminists working towards change are just simply clubbed together as "angry", too irrational or emotional to be taken seriously. Similarly, internalised misogyny is a product of the patriarchy that divides us even more.

Also, where does it say that if we're making noise, we're also not doing the work?

Also read: Khalil Ur Rehman, please sit

Tone-policing like this is how women who have gotten the short end of the stick for far too long are silenced, over and over again so it's disappointing when a public figure like Balouch peddles the same narrative. Ladies, don't let anyone, man or woman, tell you that having strong opinions or demanding your rights is the same thing as being angry.

Not to mention, it's just bad timing for her to throw her own gender under the bus; we have enough sexists like Khalil Ur Rehman Qamar, Orya Maqbool and Fazal-ur-Rehman opposing the Aurat Azadi March and slogans like Mera Jism, Meri Marzi which literally advocates for bodily autonomy.

We don't need someone who has internalised stereotypes about how women should behave enforcing on us her idea of what makes a feminist a "real" feminist; it's not that different from Qamar acting like an authority on who's a good woman or a bad woman.

So QB, we encourage you to join us at the March this year and see what women are supposedly shouting for. There are those who hate us, violate us, threaten us, rape us, silence us. We're expected to stay quiet 364 days of the year; we get March 8 to let loose, this is our day. Let us scream and shout and let it all out; our abusers and oppressors don't deserve our civility.

Comments

Rubina Mar 05, 2020 03:18pm
QB is absolutely right; stop the drama and do some real productive work for the under-privileged. And what does a feminist mean by saying that they stay quiet 364 days of the year and get only one day to let loose? Why they stay quiet? All year round they can choose the right time and place to help the sufferers. There are elected women in the assemblies and there are courts, which are right places to start the struggle. Shouting derogatory slogans will only result in mud slinging on each others. Instead of earning support for females these feminist are aiming at dis-honoring their own clan.
Recommend
Thomas Mar 05, 2020 03:41pm
One side more confused than the other. None willing to reach out to the needy women with help.
Recommend
ahmad Mar 05, 2020 03:59pm
everyone after bashing QB for her tweet "Dear QB real feminists don't bash other women"
Recommend
Abid Khan Mar 05, 2020 04:05pm
Quratulain is very right. Strong women make history and weak ones cry.
Recommend
Ray Mar 05, 2020 04:25pm
"It's not war between men and women.." as Aurat March advocates say. Really? Majority of placards last time around were there to bash husbands and fathers and males in general. Try to stay focused on your rights issue. Your script is off the mark. Critics relish these opportunities you provide them yourselves.
Recommend
Brownflower Mar 05, 2020 04:26pm
Ladies, they want to divide you, so that you start fighting among yourselves.
Recommend
Solomon The King Mar 05, 2020 04:35pm
I support miss Baloch as those marching for so called women rights hardly represent Pakistani majority women.
Recommend
Waqas Mar 05, 2020 04:37pm
Dear Images Editorial, real liberals bear perseverance on criticism. They dont target personalities for expressing their views
Recommend
Faseeh ullah Irshad Mar 05, 2020 04:47pm
Quratulain has given her opinion in a very decent manner and "Femism/Liberalism Brigade" cannot tolerate it. While when they Abuse by themselves they call it "Freedom of speech". Double Standards
Recommend
Mhd Saleem Mar 05, 2020 04:53pm
That lady is not entirely wrong. The problem with everyone here is that when you're promoting any -ism ideology then you stop being inclusive and start imposing your views on others. This whole mindset is doomed.
Recommend
BAXAR Mar 05, 2020 05:14pm
Some women telling other women what should they say and what they shouldn't. Exactly what many men do and many women get offended and they get together and start giving lessons to other women who don't agree with them, and blame men for that. Don't you get tired?
Recommend
Yousuf Mar 05, 2020 05:19pm
So, in the same vein, is this not tone-policing her? And, fyi, real feminists don't bash other people* (not just other women).
Recommend
Furrukh Rao Mar 05, 2020 05:26pm
Before you tweet remember Queen Elizabeth is the largest ruling monarch in the world.
Recommend
Faiz Mar 05, 2020 05:28pm
Good luck ladies, u will get pushback from the men and women of our society but u need to stay strong as u r on the right side of history.
Recommend
Farman Ali Mar 05, 2020 05:35pm
Dear QB, your response to the misogyny and most despicable rant by Khalilur Rahman Qamar is disappointing. Those who are marching are doing a great service not only for themselves but also for all working women. Fighting against exploitation of women is greater work than becoming commercial commodity of the entertainment world.
Recommend
Suhaib Mar 05, 2020 05:48pm
So you're saying that she can't disagree with others.... what kinda freedom are you guys asking for here? Just your point of view?
Recommend
Mohamnad Mar 05, 2020 06:14pm
She might be a feminist but definitely not an icon women should follow...
Recommend
Seemi Mar 05, 2020 06:16pm
@Abid Khan Strong women are able to make history , because the women before them have 'cried' for their rights and gotten them. Women today are allowed to get educated, work, drive, have normal lives because other women in history have fought to get us these rights.
Recommend
SAMINA SIDDIQUI/ USA Mar 05, 2020 06:42pm
Women are not allowed to work in Pakistan.Please do survey and find out how many percentage of lady doctors practice after marriage. I was one of them.
Recommend
Farhan Mar 05, 2020 06:51pm
Bravo QB. You also have a right to say whatever you feel like
Recommend
Dr.Shams Altamash Mar 05, 2020 07:19pm
No comments.
Recommend
HonorBright Mar 05, 2020 07:20pm
Though i cant find fault with QB i think there's room enough in our country for both shouting for rights and "real work" to go together.. come on, let's be less hateful
Recommend
Guest Mar 05, 2020 07:44pm
List of women who refused to call themselves feminist: Sarah Jessica Parker Kelly Clarkson Katy Perry Susan Sarandon Meryl Streep Lady Gaga
Recommend
Moiz Mar 05, 2020 08:23pm
she's absolutely right! Why are you asking for your rights? what do you want? you have everything and if you think that you cant avail something than go and grab it instead of shouting. Women can also do everything but why are you asking for your rights? Just do whatever you want to. by asking you are making yourselves weak. Don't ask for it and don't tan your color in this hot weather. Enjoy your life in full swing. and please stop bashing her. Try to understand what she's trying to convey.
Recommend
Shahid Mar 05, 2020 08:25pm
It is very encouraging that women are standing up for their rights. In Persian there is a saying that even a mom would not give milk to baby unless the baby cries. They however have to be careful not to let their movement highjacked by extreme elements .
Recommend
tuk Mar 05, 2020 09:02pm
Women will change Pakistan for the better. Left to men, look where we are!!
Recommend
Hasan Mahmood Mar 05, 2020 09:09pm
@Abid Khan Spoken like a true MAN...
Recommend
tuk Mar 05, 2020 09:14pm
Pakistani women have left Pakistani men far behind in all fields including art! There is no looking back, continue to march on!!
Recommend
amir Mar 05, 2020 09:20pm
What is wrong if she said get back to work? Rest of the comments on twitter are exaggerations and putting words in her mouth, which she never said.
Recommend
Aamir Lucky Mar 05, 2020 09:28pm
Quratlian is right. Way to go!
Recommend
Saira khan Mar 05, 2020 09:34pm
I agree with QB.
Recommend
Hamza Mar 05, 2020 10:01pm
Honestly, agree with QB here.
Recommend
Haseeb Mar 05, 2020 10:08pm
All in the name of good banter, or are you folks really at each other's throat for having an opinion. Which , last I checked was a right as well. I do agree with QH. As Fraz said شکوۂ ظلمتِ شب سے، تو کہیں‌ بہتر تھا اپنے حِصّے کی کوئی شمع جلاتے جاتے
Recommend
Mutahir.noor Mar 05, 2020 10:14pm
Very unfair with KRQ that lady intigated and he did what he should not hav done but nobody is blaming her that she interupted when he was speaking
Recommend
Shazaib Mar 05, 2020 10:37pm
Women should strive for women rights and not idealise societies where families are broken and divorces so rampant.
Recommend
WASIM Mar 05, 2020 10:39pm
So .... now women need to take whatever the self-proclaimed, self-righteous, and self-proclaimed feminists have in store for them? WOW!!!!!
Recommend
hedayatullah Mar 05, 2020 11:10pm
every Pakistani feminist need to live in America for a year then well know what is the equal right . other wise they are further empowering men to do things and not take responsibility
Recommend
Jonayd Mar 05, 2020 11:21pm
@Abid Khan Strong women made history because they were not honored killed for stepping outside the boundaries created by the "protectors" of their honor. Also there is nothing wrong with crying either, just a regular human emotion. Your comment reeks of misogyny and chauvinism.
Recommend
Ali da Malanga Mar 06, 2020 12:21am
The problem is with slogans like "my body my choice" and not the march itself. Those who are raising this slogan need to first understand the history of it. The root of this slagon lies in the West where women want freedom for abortion, freedom to bare their body the way they want in public, etc. These do not align with the values of Pakistani culture. Women should instead raise slogans like "equal pay", "equal employment opportunity", "paid while on maternity leave", etc.
Recommend
Parvez Mar 06, 2020 12:36am
Quratulain's heart is in the right place .... she just has not understood what this movement is about.
Recommend
Glen D'Abreo Mar 06, 2020 01:31am
Is Quratulain is really right. Strong women make Pakistan stronger & make history at the same time and Pakistani men try again & again as they are the weak ones for women to make this journey. Are Pakistani men intimidated by strong women. At Universities women have a higher grade level making it a challenging effort for men to qualify as the marking curve is raised. Before women entered the education arena men were getting good grades but the acceptance level was low ! Women are entering all fields banking, HR, Film, Doctors, Scientists, Bikers, & Military proving that Pakistani women are the strongest in Asia !
Recommend
jaredlee Mar 06, 2020 01:50am
Strong women also don't get stuck in trends of '-isms'. They do what is ethical!
Recommend
Omer Malik Mar 06, 2020 02:13am
Did someone just say that women are not allowed to work? That person clearly has no idea of Pakistan. The only people who discourage women from working are their mothers and mothers-in-law. They are also women, so fix your issues between yourself and don't drag the men in for no reason.
Recommend
Malko Mar 06, 2020 03:50am
I stand with QB
Recommend
Syed ahmed hussain Mar 06, 2020 05:09am
The problem in Pakistan is exactly what she said, too much fuss no action, feminism is blown out of proportion in Pakistan, we associate every act against religion as being ‘feminist’ none of these marches or these groups ever go out and do real work, millions of women are without basic healthcare what is being done for them via this aurat march? Millions of divorced/widowed women are in dire need of help but these groups wont do that coz its not gonna create a fuss big enough to be covered by the media, you report cases of abuse to such groups and they’ll simply turn their back saying ye unke ghr ka masla hai, moreover if you can have the liberty to express yourself the way you want, you shouldn’t have an issue with others expressing their opinions the way they like, if you can’t tolerate other people’s opinions then you might as well stop imposing yours on them!
Recommend
Jahan Ara Mar 06, 2020 05:30am
Women rights are not taken seriously. Why these feminist don’t make placards to demand paid maternity leave, equally opportunities for ladies to progress in corporate world, freedom to work after doing MBBS etc. I will not find your socks or I smoke cigarettes are not female rights. for how long are we going to behave like an ignorant crowd.
Recommend
Siraj Mar 06, 2020 05:46am
Quratulain is very tight, need to loosen up.
Recommend
Pervez Mar 06, 2020 06:40am
Both men and women should be free to live a fulfilling life. No one should dominate or persecute. It's a womans right to march if she wants to. Although personally I think it's a waste of time. Valid arguments can be dealt with through communication and education. Screaming in the media is not the answer
Recommend
nk Mar 06, 2020 06:43am
she couldn't be more right!!!
Recommend
Pakman Mar 06, 2020 07:19am
Oh please, let’s not get too personal. I agree with QBs opinion at the same time women’s rights awareness is much needed in this part of the world. However, it’s About women’s rights and equality it’s not “rights and exhibitionism”, just another opinion.
Recommend
Malik Imran Mar 06, 2020 07:30am
She has the right to have her views and it is ironic to see, she is under backlash from those who are claiming this right.
Recommend
kahkashan Mar 06, 2020 08:45am
she is so right,women has so much respect and responsibilities
Recommend
R. Mar 06, 2020 09:17am
@Abid Khan that would make every woman at the Aurat March a strong woman making history whereas the previous generations just cried weakly. Thank you.
Recommend
DIJA Mar 06, 2020 09:18am
QB IS SO RIGHT!!but at the same time I can also realize that only women with some sense and intellect will agree with QB!
Recommend
Anwar Mar 06, 2020 09:19am
Let me get this right. A working woman expressed her point of view and then ''REAL" feminists are bashing her about how she should express her feelings. Did I miss anything?
Recommend
DIJA Mar 06, 2020 09:22am
Unfortunately women in the name of women empowerment are only getting carried away! Being a woman myself; their acts in the name of independence & freedom is rather much too awkward and a great source of embarrassment for women with some wisdom & brains!
Recommend
Taimur Malik Mar 06, 2020 09:32am
I strongly disagree with QB's comments. However, when we're on the subject of tone-policing, isn't that precisely what this article is trying to do to QB? You say real feminists don't bash other women -- but is it okay to publish articles publicly calling them out? I genuinely wish to understand the thought process that reconciles the valid underlying point of this article, and the mode chosen to relay it.
Recommend
Jawad Asif Mar 06, 2020 09:51am
Hats off to QB .... respect!!
Recommend
Parvez Mar 06, 2020 12:27pm
The girl clearly needs to educate herself about " woman's rights ".
Recommend
Shah Mar 06, 2020 01:03pm
Just one name: Fatima Jinnah. What a person she was. What an inspiration she is.
Recommend
Satish Mar 06, 2020 03:01pm
Be on right side What so ever happens.
Recommend
Pakistani Mar 06, 2020 06:42pm
I stand with the lovely Qurat who has courage to say the right thing ....superb
Recommend
Tatheer Mar 06, 2020 07:29pm
These excerpts are written by ladies who have everything i support ladies rights the country where boys are not educated (look at the language being used on tv) the so called educated ,how can women go to schools.
Recommend
Ray Mar 06, 2020 08:24pm
Aurat march advocates must learn to listen to both logical and illogical opinions. Not the case right now!
Recommend
gghh Mar 06, 2020 10:11pm
@SAMINA SIDDIQUI/ USA that sucks. Women like you could have contributed so much to the society. Sad state if affairs.
Recommend
Pathanoo Mar 06, 2020 10:40pm
Time, Muslim women fought. And, fought till they get Freedom, Equal Rights and Equality with Men in ALL spheres of life without exception. Muslim women have been kept low and abused enough already. Time to move in to 21st Century and leave 7th Century behind.
Recommend
Naveed Ahmed Mar 07, 2020 02:33am
Yeah.... Real women bash only men!
Recommend
TruthMatters Mar 07, 2020 07:17am
Everyone’s entitled to an opinion including QB, even if that differs from the majority. Otherwise, there’s not much freedom, is there? A lot of ideals such as freedom of speech are practiced better in the west than the east, but that doesn’t mean that the ‘cancel/shame’ culture of the West when one doesn’t agree with the majority should be emulated elsewhere. Respect for one another is a golden rule that should transcend any ‘social media platform’s code of ethics and conduct’ or an ever-changing societal moral compass.
Recommend
Ibrahim S Mar 07, 2020 08:37am
@SAMINA SIDDIQUI/ USA - very correct official survey states 75% Pakistani men don’t approve women to work. Interestingly same mind set exits in US , well Educated women Pakistani women are stay at home mom, watching TV Dramas and busy with potluck parties. Because it’s against the honor of their husbands if they work or do any volunteer work , right MS. Siddiqui
Recommend
Faisal Ejaz Mar 07, 2020 11:41am
100% agree with QB
Recommend
AJ Mar 07, 2020 12:38pm
Proud of people like QB who aren't into victim olympics. Every individual must take responsibility for him/herself rather than blaming everyone else for their circumstances. The problem with Aurat March and feminism is that they have morphed into a male-bashing platform.
Recommend