Dawn Images

In a country where a man’s honour seems to start from a woman’s head and end at her toenails, honour killings are not an uncommon item to spot in the newspaper. Every year, many Pakistani women are killed in the name of the fragile male ego oft rebranded as ’ghairat; or honour. Quite like a fish that has simply gotten used to people banging against the side of the bowl as they pass by, an entire generation of men and women has grown up thinking honour killings, while incredibly barbaric, are simply a part of the society we live in.

Recently, news surfaced about a man in Rawalpindi who killed his teenage daughter over her refusal to delete her TikTok account. Social media users were horrified to hear that someone was killed over something as trivial as their presence on social media.

Equally alarming is the discourse that spawns online once such heinous acts have been reported. Instances of victim blaming and victim shaming aren’t unusual in our society, where nothing a woman does can ever be correct. Many in our society rush to the defence of murderers, and rapists, defending them to the end, but any slight hiccup by a woman is deemed unforgivable.

Men are given the luxury to repent for their crimes in rehabilitation centres, while innocent woman must pay the price for men’s crimes with their lives. Even after these women are gone, their characters are dissected and personal lives ripped apart.

It reminds one of the recent murder of 17-year-old Sana Yousuf, who refused the advances of a 22-year-old man. Yet, when she ended up getting gunned down in the sanctity of her own house, society still found a way to hold her responsible.

Similarly, internet extremists have also tried their hand at justifying the actions of a man who brutally raped and tortured his 19-year-old wife three days after the wedding. Such cases of blatant victim blaming have forced many women to live in perpetual fear.

A tired rebuttal that comes up now and then in light of such events is the plea to view these women as “mothers”, “daughters”, and “wives”. Not only does this strip a woman of her individuality, reducing her to her association with the men in her life, but it also no longer holds any substance or weight since over 60 per cent of all female homicides are committed by family members and partners.

What’s baffling is that this type of violence isn’t limited only to young girls, who are often at the mercy of the men in their lives who often believe it their ‘responsibility’ to lash out and discipline them. Just this past November, a mother of three, Amina Bibi, was killed by her brother after he raised doubts on her character. Her husband testified that she was a loving mother and wife.

One thing that must be loud and clear is that the problem lies not with the women’s actions, but with the wild reactions of men around them who simply deprive them of any chance to evolve, grow, and live their lives with one pull of the trigger.

Every human being deserves to live, and to take a life because of so-called honour is unjustifiable. It is high time for Pakistani society to condemn these killings publicly across all forums instead of covering it up with misogyny and victim blaming.

We hope that one day, we will live in a society that punishes murder and violence against women, where no one offers weak justifications or blames the victim, where women can be free to live their lives without looking over their shoulder and wondering if those closest to them will kill them for something as benign as having an account on a social media platform.