"Uncle, please sit"

Published May 29, 2019 07:30am

Last week Game of Thrones fans were treated to an epic moment when Sansa Stark shut down her uncle Edmure Tully by simply saying "Uncle, please sit."

It got us thinking: how many times have our very own desi uncles needed a similar reality check?

Whether they're entitled, obnoxious, sexist or just plain misinformed, some of our uncles really need to take a seat.

Read on to find out who.

Uncle Saqib Nisar, you may take a seat

"Fund donations never intended for building of dam, only for awareness: ex-CJP"

During his tenure as CJP Uncle Nisar convinced the public to donate to the 'dam fund' as a means of resolving Pakistan's water crisis. This despite many experts pointing out that a mega-project like a dam cannot and should not be funded like a charity. Still, Uncle Nisar persisted.

However, he later pointed out that his fund-raising efforts were "only for awareness." Epic trolling or just typical uncle behavior? You decide.

Aap bhi, Uncle Khawaja Asif

In top uncle form, Uncle Khawaja Asif used grossly sexist language against PTI parliamentarian Shireen Mazari while the national assembly was in session: “Someone make this tractor trolley shut up!”. According to an eyewitness, he further insulted Mazari for "talking like a man", and urged her to “make her voice more feminine”.

Oh and when pushed for an apology he said:"I am not going to apologise, they can do whatever they want."

Yup.

Uncle Javed Sheikh, yeh seat aap ke liyay

Earlier this year we asked veteran actor Javed Shiekh what steps he was taking to make the industry safer for women. He started well, saying: "I think they [sets] should protect women/men and come forward with the names and also boycott any accused." Unfortunately, he then said "BUT..."

And followed up with: "A lot of women get MeToo done on themselves." Javed Uncle, that's not how harassment... gets did.

You may also be seated, Vawda Uncle

Faisal Vawda Uncle has a habit of inserting himself into any any tense situation... after it's over. Over-enthusiam and hyper-machismo is also classic uncle behaviour. Sometimes, it's okay to stay home.

Sportsman Uncle Afridi, aap bhi

Uncle Afridi had a lot to say in his newly published memoir, but some gems really stood out, like this age-old uncle classic: "It’s for social and religious reasons that I’ve made this decision regarding my daughters not competing in public sporting activities and their mother agrees with me."

Reserved seat for Uncle Shaan Shahid

Uncle Shaan always has an opinion; most recently he figured out how to save Pakistan from economic destruction: aggressive money changing. Thank you for your tweet and have a seat!

Aur aap, Uncle Mushtaq Ghani

Earlier this year KP Assembly Speaker Mushtaq Ghani told Pakistanis to fight inflation by eating fewer rotis: "Instead of two rotis let's cut down to one roti." His remarks did not go down well with people, who pointed out that our aim should be to feed more people, not less.

Is Uncle Mushtaq Ghani channeling Marie Antoinette? Possibly.

Always room for the eccentric uncle, aka Uncle Sufi Sal

Whether he's partaking in pushups or fan videos or controversial hot takes, Uncle Salman Ahmad always fights his way to the forefront of the action... even thought it's never really necessary. We have a seat for you but alas, we know nothing's gonna keep you down.

Uncle Hamza Ali Abbasi, you too

Uncle Abbasi may be young, but he definitely falls into the 'uncle' category. With unsolicited opinions on everything from homosexuality to item numbers to the history of the world, this king of uncledom needs to take a seat on his throne.


This article is categorised as humour/satire.

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