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Bushra Ansari talks about the importance of giving women the right to divorce

Bushra Ansari talks about the importance of giving women the right to divorce

"This right was provided to me by my father, that I could choose to divorce my spouse. It shouldn't be considered insulting."
29 Dec, 2020

Veteran actor, comedian, playwright and singer Bushra Ansari has always been one to speak her mind. With a long history of iconic television roles up her sleeve, the powerhouse has bagged multiple numerous awards and won hearts.

However, this time around, in a conversation with Mira Sethi, Ansari faced the camera to speak about something a little more personal; a long-standing marriage that she chose to walk out from.

"While divorce is a solution to escape a bad patch in a marriage, I decided to part ways after 36 years of marriage," she opened up.

"This right was provided to me by my father, that I could give the divorce instead of being divorced. It's not an insult to someone. There was just an issue in regard to his sister at the time, and my father didn't want me to go through the same. But by the time we got to realise that things were getting difficult and something was up, our kids had already started to go to school."

The Aangan Terha actor also spoke about how the concept of marriage has changed overtime.

"In today's generation, people generally choose not to have kids till at least five or six years. So you guys have a lot of time on your hands to evaluate your compatibility. I say this both as a good thing and a bad thing," she explained.

"Bad in the sense that if people continue to wait just to be sure and say hmm, lets see, let's wait a little more, lets not have kids right now — then by that logic, no home will ever flourish, everyone's homes will break. At one point, you do have to give each other a chance. Create a family, experience those joys."

Being the mother of two daughters, the star also opened up regarding evaluating every situation and the pros and cons of any decision she would be making.

"I would think, is this situation better, or the one after? And what if I mess up and they bare the burden of that issue? With this, we spent 36 years. Then our kids got settled, they had their own kids, we (my husband and I) decided to give each other relief "

She also identified the best qualities in a man as for him to "be gentle and genuine," adding that not many men have the ability to deal with the success of their wives.

"Very few women are insecure when their husbands are successful. They're probably happy living in their shadow. But men, on the other hand, get insecure I guess."

"I have too many stories to tell," the multi-tasker legend added, revealing that she is currently working on writing a television series, which would be her 11th serial.

"The work is restricted by external factors such as artists' availability, production, budget," she revealed, saying that it takes time and dedication to bring a vision to life.

We wish her all the best for her upcoming endeavours.

Comments

No-Name Dec 29, 2020 02:24pm
In the west they have marriage counseling if a partner seeks divorce. Do courts here allow such actions to be performed when divorce process is started.
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Tejinderpal Singh Dec 29, 2020 02:26pm
Quite shocking, wasn’t aware women don’t have the right to divorce in Pakistan? Perhaps IK and others need to look inwards and fix social, cultural inequalities at home before getting holier than thou with others!
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Abu Haamid Dec 29, 2020 03:07pm
Who gave her father the right to give her the right of divorce. The right of divorce according to Islam is the husbands not the wife. Only under extreme circumstances the wife can ask for divorce. This is called Khula.
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AHB Dec 29, 2020 03:20pm
@Abu Haamid Why can't a wife divorce her husband if she wants to? Seems akin to slavery if that is the case.
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Modern Mullah Dec 29, 2020 03:34pm
As far as i remember, Your father was against your marriage !
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Chrís Dăn Dec 29, 2020 03:36pm
A great artist and a great lady.
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Samina Dec 29, 2020 03:37pm
@Abu Haamid Improve your knowledge
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Chrís Dăn Dec 29, 2020 03:37pm
@Abu Haamid khlua right is now part of constitution. A bad news for you.
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The blue one Dec 29, 2020 03:44pm
@Abu Haamid , the right is provided in the official Marriage registration document - the Nikah Nama . This is the section that everyone simply ignore. The right is sharia compliant as validated by all Muftis when this document was officiated long time back. These days only ignorant ones are on the driving seat of religious matters unfortunately.
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Nusrat Dec 29, 2020 04:00pm
@Abu Haamid this is option in nikhanama, if woman/girl opt this right, she can ask her husband to divorce her and he is boud to give divorce, he can not play around.... hide and seek, as men do in our society.... and while exercising Khula, woman has to forgo all the gifts, jewelry etc to her husband, while if she has divorce rights , she can ask and husband is bound to dissolve the marriage additionally she can keep the gifts, jewelry etc to herself....
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Right Dec 29, 2020 04:00pm
@The blue one In the nikah nama or official marriage certificate there is a clause where divorce right can be given to wife if husband is agreed. I don't know any men in pakistan ever sign on it. Fathers can't give divorce right to his daughter as she is saying. Also whether husband gives divorce right to wife or not there is always an option of Khula for woman which she can use any time of her life. Please stop distortion of facts.
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M. Saeed Dec 29, 2020 04:26pm
The right to divorce is already allowed to women and is called "Khulla".
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Siraj Bhasha Dec 29, 2020 04:48pm
Hope fundamentalist will not attack her. Pakistan need to learn from India in Muslim rights.
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Zia Khan Dec 29, 2020 06:12pm
The solution is very simple. The husband can give 'right to divorce' to the bride in the Nikah Nama. There is a historic decision of our court in favor of a lady who divorced her husband according to relevant clause in the Nikah Nama. Parents of the bride must ensure that right to divorce clause is incorporated in the Nikah Nama.
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Hanif Dec 29, 2020 06:14pm
@Abu Haamid go through nikkah form
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Zia Khan Dec 29, 2020 06:52pm
@Tejinderpal Singh Marriage Agreement (Nikah Nama) has a clause which empowers a bride to divorce her husband. People are not invoking this clause because they were not aware of its benefits. An awareness campaign is required but people who are aware of it do get 'right to divorce' clause invoked in the Nikah Nama which is a standard printed agreement. A man cannot divorce a woman straightaway. There is a procedure to be followed over a period of months for marriage to be dissolved. Time is given to rethink and reconcile if possible. Finally, the parties have to appear before the relevant authority personally who annuls the marriage if reconciliation is not possible. A man cannot marry another woman without the consent of the existing wife. Violation can lead to imprisonment. However, society has to do a lot more to protect the interests of women.
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M. Saeed Dec 29, 2020 07:11pm
See articles 17,18 and 19 of the official Nikahnama form of Marriage in Pakistan. It is a different story that, the Nikah Khwans cross all these provisions, which is illegal.
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ABC$ Dec 29, 2020 07:15pm
Khula is when women initiate divorce, end result is the same i.e. permanent and legal separation.
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Salman Dec 29, 2020 07:15pm
@No-Name the zamana is the counselor here. And unfortunately the only advice they have is log kiya kahen ge. Even for Bushra, I am sure it was not easy. Even if she is famous, the perspective of independent women is indigestible over here. And I dont blame them. When a lone woman gets raped on the streets and then she is blamed for walking without a man, there is no sensible comparison to the West. Its the whole domino system, not just a peg of divorce that will hold the system.
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sarfraz Ali Dec 29, 2020 07:38pm
@The blue one "These days only ignorant ones are on the driving seat of religious matters unfortunately." Well said - this sums it up on religious and lack of progress.
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Tuk Dec 29, 2020 08:17pm
@The blue one so in a nutshell if the man does not agree, woman does not have the right to divorce. If the husband wants intimacy, the wife must oblige and the list goes on!
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Mariam Khan Dec 29, 2020 08:52pm
When a women takes the initial steps to the process of divorce then it is called Kula.
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Mariam Khan Dec 29, 2020 08:53pm
@Tuk No that is not true. Where did you get this information?
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Hamid shafiq Dec 29, 2020 09:40pm
All Muslims women have right to khula in which she involved court and simply gets divorced from her husband but she never give divorce to directly to husband
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MR Dec 29, 2020 10:03pm
Just on a lighter note, from where these bright ideas come?
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Captain Dec 29, 2020 10:27pm
Pls do not make any remarks that makes you a controversial figure !
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Truth be told Dec 29, 2020 11:23pm
@Abu Haamid read up. Talaq vs Faskh vs Khula.
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Shakil Khan Dec 29, 2020 11:31pm
I have no idea who Bushira Ansari is? However women in Pakistan should have right to divorce.
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Ahsan Gul Dec 30, 2020 12:01am
You were lucky to have income to survive. You should guide ladies and gentlemen to compromise for better lives. In our continent can average woman find a job and self support her? Get real with your suggestions! Sincerely
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Laila Dec 30, 2020 12:06am
@Tejinderpal Singh legally we do have the right to get divorced. In practice however girls have been indoctrinated by a backwards patriarchal culture to accept all abuse and oppression for the sake of "saving" her marriage and never ever think about divorce. The Pakistani marriage contract stipulates the right to divorce for women. However 99,9% of the time girls don't read their nikkahnama, and often their guardian or the groom or even the nikkahkhuwaan (cleric doing the nuptials) cross out all sections, or don't show them to her or just leave it blank. She is neither informed nor asked. She a expect to simply agree to what's asked and not make a scene. Although a law was passed in 2019 obligating the molwi to inform the girl of her rights as per the contract, its not enforced. If a girl demanded to read her contract or selecting certain rights, her own family won't support her but call her disgraceful who is dishonor them. Girls need to start utilizing their education.
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Asif Saleem Dec 30, 2020 12:27am
@Tejinderpal Singh Firstly fix up your own mess in India where the spouse of a partner is not allowed to change his/her religion even at his/her own free will because your PM Modi is too afraid of the "marital Jehaad".
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F Dec 30, 2020 12:35am
Dear fellows. Women do has the right to divorce. But she also has option to surrender this at time of nikkah which she does traditionally. Also important is that pls don't think of changing the religion by initiating debates on rules created in religion. They are final and not debateable
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Raana Qureshi Dec 30, 2020 01:20am
@Tejinderpal Singh you are wrong gentleman. Islam gives the right to women to divorce to her husband called kullah. In this way women can relinquish some assets to get out of the marriage herself. Nobody can stop her. Accusing Imran Khan for everything is unfair and stupid. If you are unaware of the rights of women in Islam then read up on it.
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craig Dec 30, 2020 01:26am
Treating Women like slaves? Really pathetic medieval culture.
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tuk Dec 30, 2020 01:35am
@Mariam Khan Khula is not same as divorce as bar for it is much higher. How many girls are even informed they can claim right of divorce on Nikah nama? What if husband to be denies it at the time of Nikah even if she knows about it? Trust me you can learn a lot of things too by just keeping an open mind!
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Afia Dec 30, 2020 02:26am
@Abu Haamid Check nikha nama of any of your family member, there is a clause in it which gives wife the right of divorce. Which is usually crossed out by SICK MINDED people. It is Pakistan's law (not something Bushra's father invented)
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Sab Se Pehle Pakistan Dec 30, 2020 03:00am
Bushra Ansari sahiba you remember Sajid Hassan? Enough said.
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Igloo Dec 30, 2020 03:08am
@Tejinderpal Singh They have the right. She is referring to cultural stigma
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Igloo Dec 30, 2020 03:09am
@Abu Haamid She did. If you read the article and understand the law, she is talking about the moral authority of her father - which she seems happy with.
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Igloo Dec 30, 2020 03:13am
Divorce is a luxury enjoyed in rich societies. Practically in poor countries it can be a case of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
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The blue one Dec 30, 2020 03:56am
@Right , what you are saying is another form of ignorance. Marriage contract like any other contracts requires agreement of both parties. So the person is not husband unless he has signed the contract. By bringing forward this agreement of equal rights to divorce equality between two parties is established. There is nothing un-Islamic about it. Women should not marry without obtaining this agreement.
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The blue one Dec 30, 2020 04:00am
@Tuk you all are missing the point. There is no marriage unless agreement is signed. So the man is not a husband yet and he has no rights or obligations. Women must get this part or nikah-Nama signed and must refuse to marry without it. If man doesn’t agree to give this right than he can pleasure himself all he want.
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hamidullah Advocate Dec 30, 2020 04:44am
the right of divorce z wested with husband , with mutual consent spouses have also the right to dissolve the marriage, wife alone has no right to excercise such right, although if a wife want to dissolve her marriage she has to approach the court, there she can avail her desired remedy....
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hamidullah Advocate Dec 30, 2020 04:45am
@Abu Haamid agree
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ubaid Dec 30, 2020 06:18am
@AHB why can't we eat water and drink food?
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iftikhar saeed Dec 30, 2020 08:20am
@No-Name yes they do
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Aa Dec 30, 2020 10:25am
@Tejinderpal Singh women have right to get a divorce. I don’t know what she is talking about! It’s called Khula.
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Anonymouseee Dec 30, 2020 10:53am
Please follow a Islamic principles and. It your father’s. He’s not above Islam.
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Zee Dec 30, 2020 02:08pm
@Abu Haamid its part of Legal document called Nikkah Nama, most people choose to write "No" in that section, denying female right to divorce, her father went the other way and so should it be.
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Dr Shahida parveen Dec 30, 2020 04:28pm
In Islam it is written in nikah nama that woman has right to divorce but unfortunately the mullas cut that section with a cross. Even they don't allow woman to read it properly. The women can write sharait in nikah nama
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No name Dec 31, 2020 01:16pm
@hamidullah Advocate It's called talaq e tafweez, plz read up on it. Her father was smart enough to get her that right, as was mine and it got me out of a very bad marriage.
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