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Dear Fiza Ali, working women thinking of themselves as men’s equals aren’t the problem, they’re the solution

Dear Fiza Ali, working women thinking of themselves as men’s equals aren’t the problem, they’re the solution

The host thought it was a good idea to shame proud working women who aren't subservient to their husbands during her Ramazan transmission.
27 Mar, 2025

It has become almost routine — a public figure, often with a microphone and a misplaced sense of authority, spews misogyny under the garb of wisdom and expects society to clap along.

Fiza Ali, the actor-turned-host currently hosting Ramazan transmission Noor-e-Ramzan on 24News, felt it was a good idea to use her recent episode to talk about the “rights of a husband” and remind us all why internalised misogyny is alive and kicking.

In a clip posted to her Instagram, Ali unleashed upon the world a monologue on how women — specifically working women — need to sit down, shut up, and never, under any circumstances, believe they are equal to men.

“Let me tell you, women, a man gets irritated by what? A woman’s tongue,” she said, referring to it as her ‘lallo’.

“A man, what does a man do? Do you ever see a man spending on himself? I feel a man can survive even if he doesn’t earn. But he works hard in the scorching heat of the sun, drives rickshaws, and sells fruits on the streets. A woman can never be stronger than a man. A woman was made out of a man’s rib, and the rib is close to the heart, so the woman needs to be close to a man’s heart — not try to get inside his head and make him go crazy,” she added.

According to Ali, the real problem in men’s lives isn’t inflation, it’s women’s tongues. And here’s the best part: she believes this is why hell will be filled with mostly women.

“I have seen so many men working hard and getting sick and tired of the tongues of the women in their lives,” she continued. “These women, they use such bad language that they have done a PhD in. How can you ruin someone’s life with your sick tongue? You know, hell will be filled with mostly women because of their tongues.”

As if that wasn’t enough, she then moved on to demonising women who — gasp — question their husbands. “This is why men don’t want to go home! This is why they keep a distance from their wives. They only show love before marriage, and as soon as the wedding happens, they come after men, constantly inquiring when he’ll come home, why he isn’t picking up his phone, searching his coat for another woman’s hair, checking his pockets. Stop it! This is your auqat? This is you decreasing your value. They have turned their husbands into dogs and then say, ‘let him bark.’ I have heard women say these things.”

Yes, women are the problem here, not men who cheat, manipulate, or act shady enough to warrant suspicion. Not men who abuse their wives and expect them to run their houses and raise their kids alone. But you’re right, if only wives just stopped asking why their husbands never come home, everything would be fine.

And just when you thought she couldn’t get any worse, she referenced the wildly misunderstood slogan ‘mera jism, meri marzi’ or my body, my choice to villainise independent women. “These women who chant mera jism meri marzi, they refuse to wash dishes, they tell their husbands to wash dishes, to wash clothes.”

The mera jism, meri marzi slogan is not some anti-domestic-work campaign. It is about bodily autonomy — the right of women to make choices about their own lives, their own bodies, and their own futures. It is about rejecting harassment, abuse, forced marriages, and violence. But people like Ali, and many others before her, love to hijack this slogan to make it sound like a rebellion against household chores. It’s lazy, dishonest, and frankly embarrassing at this point.

The real cherry on top came when a woman called into the show to challenge her. The caller, a working mother of three, explained how she earns, looks after the home and her children, and yet is abused and humiliated by her unemployed husband. She asked what Ali had to say about that.

Ali, naturally, doubled down. “See, not all women are the same, not all fingers are the same. I’m saying that women need to obey and respect their husbands because they are ordained by God to do so. But some women, who start earning a little, start behaving like they are their husbands’ equals. Some of them even start thinking of themselves as the man of the house because they bring the bread and butter.

“If the husband is unable to earn, you need to support him instead of giving taunts like ‘I am earning and he is not.’ Because after all, he is your husband. God has made your husband your boss, that is clear. So you must give him his due respect. Try to bow down. But even after that if he continues to abuse you and humiliate you, then Islam has given you the right to separate from him, leave him” she added.

Let’s unpack that, shall we?

The notion that women should ‘bow down’ because their husbands are their ‘bosses’ is nothing short of disgusting. Marriage is not an employer-employee contract. And the idea that women who earn should tiptoe around their unemployed husbands’ egos instead of expecting equal partnership is a slap in the face to every woman who has ever taken care of a household.

What is clear is that Fiza Ali is not just airing personal opinions — she is perpetuating systemic misogyny and reinforcing the kind of thinking that keeps women trapped in abusive relationships. The repeated hammering of ‘obedience’ and ‘respect’ for undeserving, exploitative men is what fuels a culture where women are conditioned to suffer in silence.

Instead of holding men accountable for their failures — whether as partners, fathers, or providers — women are made to carry the burden, bending over backwards to accommodate egos that have been fed centuries of entitlement.

This is not just one problematic statement. This is part of a broader, insidious mindset that is continually normalised in mainstream media, where the rights of men are always exalted and the suffering of women is either dismissed or justified. And that is why this cannot go unchallenged.

Ali may believe she is delivering divine wisdom, but what she is really doing is perpetuating the idea that women exist to serve men. But women are not subordinate beings created to withstand abuse in the name of patience and love. And they certainly do not need lectures from Fiza Ali — or anyone else — on how to quietly endure oppression.

The saddest part? Ali thinks she’s uplifting men. In reality, she’s just ensuring that fewer men will be held accountable for their behaviour. She’s giving abusers excuses, encouraging fragile male egos, and making it even harder for women to demand basic respect.

If anything, the real PhD here is in internalised misogyny, and Ali is on track for summa cum laude.

At the end of the day, the real problem isn’t working women thinking of themselves as equals — it’s the people who insist they shouldn’t. Women standing up for themselves, refusing to shrink their ambitions, and demanding respect in their own homes aren’t a threat to society; they’re the reason it progresses.

So, instead of scolding women for speaking up, perhaps Ali should hold abusive and exploitative men accountable. Because if there’s anything Pakistan doesn’t need more of, it’s another woman preaching submission while men continue to do as they please.

Her.

Comments

Dr. Salaria, Aamir Ahmad Mar 27, 2025 05:15pm
Both husband and wife should work to make the ends meet.
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JAMIL SOOMRO Mar 27, 2025 05:36pm
My compliments to the Writer for speaking the truth." Marriage is not an Employer-Employee contract." so well said.
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Nadia Mar 27, 2025 06:17pm
Women like Fiza Ali are the puppets of men in their life.They will go to any extreme to please them.They have no self respect and expect the same from others.Sorry Fiza your brain has been washed by the misogyny around you.
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Zulfiqar Mar 27, 2025 07:13pm
Nice to know there are some sensible women still left in the Pakistan.
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Ehsan Mar 27, 2025 07:28pm
Damaged minds
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Mrs. Imran Siddique Mar 27, 2025 08:18pm
- says the divorcee Miss Ali
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Mujtaba Mar 27, 2025 09:17pm
I agree with Ali's fundamental point, though its interpretation needs careful consideration. Islamic teachings do emphasize a wife's obedience to her husband. However, this is not a license for abuse. If a husband becomes abusive or the marital situation deteriorates beyond repair, a wife absolutely retains her right to seek divorce. The essence of a harmonious marriage, according to Islamic principles, lies in both partners understanding and respecting their defined roles and boundaries. We must avoid unnecessary confrontations and, crucially, possess the humility to apologize when we are in the wrong. Husbands, in particular, should always remember the immense respect due to their wives, recognizing their sacred role as mothers. It's important to acknowledge that Islamic teachings outline distinct roles for men and women, with women holding a position of profound significance and respect. However, this does not imply a hierarchy of inherent value, rather it emphasizes that women have specific guidelines and responsibilities within the Islamic framework that must be adhered to. When these guidelines are followed, a family unit is strong and blessed.
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Ghulam Abbas Junejo Mar 27, 2025 09:45pm
An artist of average acclaim, attempts to become philosopher, authority on religion, educator, social analyst and what not, during Ramadan transmissions, which in their core are a commercial activity. A country where the textbook syllabus of even commerce and science subjects are filled with religious content, society gets such professionals as the outcome.
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Yh Mar 28, 2025 12:27am
She’s right
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Saira Khan Mar 28, 2025 07:56am
She’s not wrong. A lot of postmodern feminists here in the US are also saying the same exact thing. Dawn’s feminists are a couple of decades behind.
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Saad Mar 28, 2025 08:37am
She is reading the script provided to her. She is concerned about the pay she gets after the show and completely ignoring the suffering of women. I am man and I feel disgusted to see an educated women promoting the idea of chauvinism, she is not realizing the damage she will do with such words on. Shame on her!
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Syed Usman Mar 28, 2025 10:06am
Your article takes an emotionally charged stance against Fiza Ali’s statements without truly engaging with the core realities of gender roles in society. The reaction seems less about debating the actual content of her speech and more about rejecting any viewpoint that doesn't conform to modern feminist ideals. Firstly, let’s address the main argument: Fiza Ali did not advocate for women to suffer abuse, nor did she suggest that women should endure injustice. What she highlighted—whether you agree with it or not—is that a stable and functional marriage requires balance, mutual respect, and an understanding of traditional roles. When she said that men are the heads of households, she was simply reiterating a well-established, time-tested structure that has defined societies for centuries. Now, you criticize her for stating that women should "bow down" to their husbands. But let’s be honest: the majority of women still actively seek men who are providers and protectors. Women want financially stable husbands, yet when it comes to their own roles, many want to redefine or reject traditional expectations. If a woman prefers to marry a man who earns more than her, is it not hypocritical for her to then demand absolute equality in decision-making within the marriage? A partnership requires consistency—if one expects provision, the other expects respect and cooperation. You also take issue with her mention of "women’s tongues" being a source of discord in marriage. But is this really an unreasonable observation? Every relationship expert will tell you that constant nagging, suspicion, and disrespectful communication can ruin relationships. Does that mean all men are perfect? No. But denying that verbal aggression exists in marriages and that it has an impact is dishonest. Additionally, your argument seems to suggest that Fiza Ali’s position prevents women from speaking against abuse. But she explicitly mentioned that Islam gives women the right to leave abusive marriages. So where exactly does she justify oppression? Acknowledging men as heads of households does not mean endorsing violence—it means maintaining a structure where both men and women fulfill their roles without creating unnecessary conflict. Lastly, your criticism of her comments about ‘Mera Jism, Meri Marzi’ ignores how that slogan has often been misused. While originally meant to advocate for bodily autonomy, it has indeed been twisted by som
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Sundus Mar 28, 2025 12:25pm
Both husband and wife should work to make the ends meet. Women never equal to men in any case.
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Laila Mar 28, 2025 09:25pm
@Saira Khan Can you name of some of these American "postmodern feminists" saying things like Fiza Ali? "Dawn's feminists?" I have my issues with Dawn, but Dawn is an online newspaper run by reporters, journalists reporting on different news. Simply bundling them as feminists is strange. Pakistan is centuries behind the rest of the world (bar a handful exceptions). So not sure we need to worry about feminism in Pakistan where misogyny and patriarchy run rampant. I find it strange for somebody enjoying the liberties of a modern liberal feminist, possibly even matriarchal society, seemingly oppose women's rights in Pakistan? Pakistani females don't even know let alone have their islamic rights. And yes Fiza Ali is wrong. It only takes a basic study of islam and human psychology to know how wrong she is.
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Laila Mar 28, 2025 09:35pm
@Mujtaba I agree with most of what you wrote except your first line. If we view Fiza Ali's statements through the lense of Islam she comes out wrong. That said some minor corrections, a woman's role as mother is not sacred nor are women sacred islam. A woman role is not limited to being a mother. Some women may never experience motherhood but be great spouses to their husbands. We see multiple examples of this among the prophets wives. He had surviving children only through 1 wife. None by his others wives. Yet we know of them. They led different roles, even in public. Women were not invisible. They were active participants in society. Adhering to guidelines and responsibilities also apply to men/husbands. Failures of the most fundamental ones are why we see issues. Most Pakistani wives are not given their islamic rights. When male responsibility is mentioned people dismiss it as modernity, feminism, liberalism etc. You will struggle to Pakistani find males who actually know their responsibilities and duties.
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Laila Mar 29, 2025 12:17pm
@Syed Usman Of course her unreasonable and uninformed views appeal to most Pakistani males. After all, she is the product of a regressive, ignorant, misogynist, patriarchal society where culture is worshipped, not islam. Two complete opposites. We can't ignore this context. Yes, Fiza Ali is advocating oppression of womens when she won't even acknowledge that women are emotional beings and can feel any emotion be that jealousy, anger, suspicion. She thinks women should talk a certain way and preferably not speak, because that's nagging/irritating to husbands. As if women don't get irritated by husbands. She isn't talking about mutual bond of marriage, but female subservience born out or cultural understanding of marriage. The "modern feminist ideals", you refer to, are actually part of Islam. That's why to be the leader of his family, a man must be a man, which means accountability, responsibility, justice, trust, honor, protection and financial provision (rights of women). Lack of these are the main reason for marital discord and divorces in Pakistan. Similarly women are killed for male honor on mere suspicions (nagging). Males are not. So womens tongues is hardly the issue. Remember, it is the male tongue that issues instant divorces over non issues. The male tongue also puts down, abuses and intimidates females. Maybe the rude women, Fiza refers to, picked up those bad habits from their male counterparts. Men can divorce such women. No stigma or blame. Women cannot easily divorce such men though. And yes a woman's body is her choice. Just like a man's body is his choice. You know very well what is meant by it. So kindly stop twisting it because "some" are misusing it. The meaning has been clarified enough times. Otherwise we should just say what people really want to hear: a woman's body is the choice/property of men: aurat ka jism, admi ki marzi. There, fixed it. That is, after all, how our society is. So it fits our society's reality perfectly.
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