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24 May, 2021

Single women in Pakistan often get a lot of flak from trolls taunting them for their single status and poking their noses where they shouldn't. But when actor Nausheen Shah posted about not standing for it anymore, people focused more on her choice of words than what she was saying.

In a recent rant on social media, the Dugdugi actor posted about how it was only in Pakistan where women were constantly pressured and coerced into finding a companion.

"This happens only in this f****** country if you are not married your mother will remind you everyday. Shaadi kerlo shaadi kerlo. Nahi kerne shaadi bhai maaf kerdo, jaan chordo [Get married, get married. I don't want to get married, leave me alone]," she wrote.

But her use of an expletive in her post enraged people, who began telling her to "leave the country".

An actor named Aadi Adeal Amjad took her post very personally and told her to leave the country.

People on social media also criticised her choice of words and ignored her point entirely.

Designer Umar Sayeed, who could (and should) have stayed quiet if he didn't have anything productive to contribute to the conversation, passed a snide and pointedly personal remark about the actor.

"Yeah when you're unable to get married despite all the efforts, this is what you end up saying to save your reputation," he said in a completely unnecessary and rude thing to say.

Shah's original point seems to have been lost amid all the criticism she has been receiving. She was talking about how unmarried in Pakistan, your mother (and everyone else) will constantly push you to get married.

Comments

Chrís Dăn May 24, 2021 04:13pm
Is she incorrect in her assessment?NO!!!
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Tariq May 24, 2021 04:22pm
If someone is not OK with anything then do so as its free will and people bound to agree or disagree with it. But no hate speech please.
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NYS May 24, 2021 04:27pm
Officially' Halal' relation to get married what is bad Not only in Pakistan many other countries also branded nasty if you are single for long period of time without any sound reason
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Shoaib Hadi May 24, 2021 04:35pm
This images staff must be a woman who tried to side with Nausheen Shah
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Asad May 24, 2021 04:58pm
What can we do? Squandering away money earned from tax evasion, corruption, and stealing from others on extravagant weddings and then reproducing more trash is our national past time.
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Toni May 24, 2021 04:59pm
Women who do not want to get married can be upfront about it, no need to give reasons, just do it and live by it until you want to change your mind but why F Pakistan, just tell those Fs privately.
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HashBrown® May 24, 2021 05:14pm
Seriously, do you guys just get paid for surfing social media all day and highlighting articles that generate some mindless gossip?
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Asim May 24, 2021 05:30pm
Expletive words were wrong rest is her own decision, people should have a big heart
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Fawad May 24, 2021 05:35pm
More power to her. Being Shadishudda is overrated in our side of this world. Her choice of word basically applies in almost all aspects of life here. This is harsh reality despite one's patriotism or nationalism or religiosity.
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Pursuit May 24, 2021 05:39pm
Marriage is disgusting
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Pursuit May 24, 2021 05:40pm
Looking at this man, I’m happy to be unmarried for a million years.
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well-wisher May 24, 2021 06:42pm
Just leave her alone. SHE DECIDES WHAT SHE DOESN'T WANT.
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Awan May 24, 2021 07:17pm
Why do people have to react if they have only bad things to say?
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Masood Khan May 24, 2021 08:11pm
Using EXPLETIVE is not all that wrong. Use it, than rather hurt somebody physically. But she should not have cursed the entire country. She should have said that for her mom who was forcing her.
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Ben Qadeer May 24, 2021 08:27pm
If you're telling that designer to mind his own business then why can't you? Everyone has a damn right to express themselves. Learn to take it.
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Mehmood Bhanji May 24, 2021 10:25pm
Salam I don’t know where is she coming from, this conversation happens everyday as often times as we breath. Hopefully now that she has her feelings publicly known we would respectfully honor her wishes.
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Qamar May 24, 2021 10:36pm
@Awan she wanted people to react thats why she said this on public forum otherwise she should be saying F word to her mom day and night and not on public forum.
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Khaled May 24, 2021 10:44pm
@HashBrown® Well there's nothing else to do, the only subject left is politics, where again nothing much can be done in the present senerio,
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someguy May 24, 2021 10:57pm
Most cultures ask about marriage..jewish.italian..polish..russian..so lets not make up facts...i lived abroad my whole life and yes thats thr main topic amonst marriage age girls...
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Harambe May 24, 2021 11:05pm
@Masood Khan :...and others who persist in pushing people who want just to live their own lives! Pakistanis generally tend to MIND other peoples' business in MALICIOUS AND GOSSIPPY ways!
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Shujaat Khan May 24, 2021 11:31pm
She's absolutely right. Most pressed marriages end up broken or two people living in hell for the rest of their lives to make Mama or other's happy. As for what she called the country was very generous. Others have much worse name's for it.
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Haris May 25, 2021 12:11am
@Chrís Dăn Yes, absolutely. She has actually mocked her country and her mother publicly.
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WhatIsTrue May 25, 2021 02:05am
We really have nothing better to focus on?
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basit May 25, 2021 03:22am
@Chrís Dăn Ofcourse ... she is. Why do you have doubts?
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A. Chowdhury May 25, 2021 03:30am
These are the common factors that marriage goes late: 1. Poverty 2. Family background. 3.Financial ability of bride to be. 4. Education 5. Parents choice rejection. 6. Dowry.
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A Khan May 25, 2021 04:16am
@HashBrown, their parents are trying hard to get them married. Until then, we'll have to continue reading their mindless posts and meaningless rants. Let's pray the parents succeed soon.
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Alla Bux May 25, 2021 04:55am
Freedom of speech. What is wrong with it? She spoke the truth and so appreciate it.
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Truth be told May 25, 2021 07:35am
@Shoaib Hadi Yup and unmarried as well.
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nk May 25, 2021 08:18am
She is right and you can feel her frustration! everyone has a braking point and she has the right to express her feelings! if someone doesn't like her choice of words, too bad, but to tell her to leave the country? really? under what stone someone with kind of ignorant has been living!!! more power to you Ms!!!
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Rustam Nasser May 25, 2021 08:56am
Its not in Pakistan; its all over the world.
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Rustam Nasser May 25, 2021 08:57am
Unmarried women are subjected to such situations everywhere. Don't stigmatized Pakistan only.
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Imran Hanif May 25, 2021 09:26am
I can understand the frustrations and sentiments of Nausheen Shah. I totally support her opinion and yes her choice of words is not extreme at all.
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Kamran Ahmed May 25, 2021 09:38am
I don’t think it’s just Pakistan the pressure for a woman to get married specially from the mother is all around the world.
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NOOR May 25, 2021 09:57am
Actually I have two things to say. First, she shouldn't have used inappropriate words addressing our Pakistan. That is manner less and unethical. Secondly, if a person does not find herself or himself good enough or responsible enough to take care of a family in a productive and positive manner then better to stay single and not torture or abuse their spouses and future children. For example there are ladies who do not know how to compromise or sacrifice their comfort for others will end up in divorce plus depressed children. Or men who would marry but wouldn't come out of their comfort zone to earn and support his wife and kids. So in such situations, kindly do not destroy other human being's lives and stay single. No offence intended.
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Naeem May 25, 2021 10:01am
Agree with you Miss Nausheen but you can't abuse Pakistan or your country. Maybe many people follow you and you seem very low character but what messages are you conveying to them? Personally i don't know you at all but please don't spit in a plate where you're eating.
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Baig May 25, 2021 11:08am
The point she was actually making is just as problematic.Miss Shah might be coming from a totally different background and lifestyle however, this issue is part of a bigger war of ideas between the Islamic world and the west.Rather than cribbing about it loudly and making people look ridiculous for holding on to a certain belief and value system she should do whatever she wants and stop telling others that they are stupid for doing otherwise.As for the mother pestering her to get married well the same thing happens anywhere in the world except marriage might be replaced with relationship.Parents are always concerned that their kids get settled and have companionship.People should be respectable towards the culture they are living in.If you dont agree fine live whichever way you want but dont try to impose your worldview on others or give derogatory remarks.Isnt that what "liberalism" is about?
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Waheed UK May 25, 2021 11:27am
This so called celebrities,their culture and status is destroying the moral fabric of the society.,,,,,they and those who promote them should be ignored and consigned to the dustbin of history. People’s unhealthy obsession with this segment of society only elevates deplorable and undesirable peoples . Being such single mothers without a fault of yours is acceptable but where it is a result of choice then they can face the music without creating vulgarity and immoral behaviour. Being single and and single mothers is nothing to be proud of . Unfortunately mimicking Western behaviour is very much in vogue in Pakistan due to inferiority complex of some people.
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Chrís Dăn May 25, 2021 11:27am
@Naeem except being a patriot for sovereignity of country- a citizen who pays taxes is entitled for any kind of criticism as it is a basic human right. She is not taking any favours from Pak8stan. She is born here and pays taxes and follows the national laws- there is no question here of spitting in the plate she eats. She is not a asker. She is a giver to this country.
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Zareena Mazhar May 25, 2021 11:40am
She had right to do who the people are to tell her
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Syeda abidi May 25, 2021 11:47am
she could address this issue in better and decent way she did not need to use this kind of word .
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Chan May 25, 2021 12:24pm
Haha...shows she has very little knowledge of other cultures. Every culture has the same issue for unmarried women, be it mothers or any known / unknown people for that matter. It's the way sometimes they show their caring as they don't want to see their lives one to spend their time alone soecually during old age. That doesn't mean everyone has to agree with this. It's your own wish- if one decides to not get married, fine with it. I'm not a Pakistani, but my request is you have a raging comment to make about the country you are born in, grown up with, eating the harvest that's produced in that soil, DON'T CURSE it. You take every single advantage from that including your current status, because you were blessed to live a comfortable life with all that the country has given, and you curse it..., you might think it's cool. But it shows your character & conduct.
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holajee May 25, 2021 12:35pm
She might be gay
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MH Shah May 25, 2021 12:45pm
Whatever Ms. Nausheen Shah said is true in our society. Nobody has wright to comment in a way to insult her. There could be several reasons being unmarried. We have to protect and support women rights.
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ARSHAD ALI SIDDIQUI May 25, 2021 01:26pm
She could have used a better expression to press her point but the expletive that she used for the country seem to have enraged the so called patriots in Pakistan
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mrs .syyed May 25, 2021 01:47pm
Forgod sake she is right ,i have a daughter who doesnt want to marry she wants to study and build her carrer ,she is doing phd and i used to say the same when she was doing her masters ,it took me time to realise i was totally wrong ,can we ignore her choice of words and concentrate on her point on view ,i see the difference people say or act for my un married daughter wherelse married ones are seen in high regard ,yes we should be ashamed of our selves .
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Bilal Abbasi May 25, 2021 02:59pm
If you are privileged like Nausheen Shah then there is no need to get married. You can have countless flings and nobody will say anything. She posted it for her circle only there was no need for such a backlash. Nausheen was not talking about underprivileged women who are not given quality education and are financially dependent on others, because she is not even aware of their problems.
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Ayesha May 25, 2021 03:12pm
Nothing new another woman blamed for something that is plainfully true
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Nadeem Iqbal May 25, 2021 03:40pm
Nosheen is a good beautiful artist. She is very talented. To do marriage is totally her personal.
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saeed May 25, 2021 04:36pm
Inappropriate words for her mother who bore and raised her with so much difficulty, Very unfortunate
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Ameer May 25, 2021 04:54pm
Not a single word against the use of "f+++++g" from the writer. I guess he/she is also a seasonal patriot. Oh and if you wonder from where patriotism get in the matter, than you surely have different priorities.
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Wasim Sadiq May 25, 2021 04:59pm
You may do whatever with your life but be careful in choice of words about our motherland
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:35pm
@well-wisher She CANNOT be left alone if she is so derogatory towards OUR country. She can say whatever she wants about herself or maybe about her mother. So if social media lost the actual point (as written in this news) and starting criticizing her for language, it is her mistake.
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:40pm
@Imran Hanif I hope you will not feel "extreme" if someone uses f word for your family. And yes, our country is like our family.
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:41pm
@Naeem Couldn't agree more.
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:44pm
@Chrís Dăn Next time when someone uses f word for your family, please don't be offended. Our country is like our family either we are giver or taker.
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:45pm
@MH Shah People took offense when she used f word for whole country. And if anyone takes offense on this, he / she is absolutely justified.
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Iqbal Aswani May 25, 2021 06:46pm
@Bilal Abbasi The backlash is due to use of f word for entire country. Not because she is unmarried. And country backlash is absolutely justified. The country belong to US (even if she doesn't have any sense of belonging).
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Shoaib Manzoor May 25, 2021 09:06pm
They are shameless people.
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Irfan. May 25, 2021 09:15pm
It is not about the point in focus, it is about the choice of words, you use to share your point of view. If same point of view had been discussed in a decent way, then there have been no mess on the social media.
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Mahtab May 26, 2021 12:55am
It's okay to be single rather in a wrong relationship. Besides its her choice to be single for whatever reasons. Are you happy with yourself, this is important. Kuch to log kahengay. Logon ka kaam hay Kehna.
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DR. GUL May 27, 2021 02:52pm
It is very frustrating to hear such things repeatedly when the truth is some people might never get married some might never have children some may never have a successful or fulfilling career. There is absolutely no need to keep judging people or making them feel better. Don't get involved unless you have the power to change their situation positively. Why not just focus on any good values in people any skill set they bring to the table? It is true. People in the subcontinent generally don't understand boundaries in relationships and say hurtful things without actually thinking. This breeds frustration in people and then some become vocal about it. And their vocal response like in her case was full of anger. She should probably have gone to a therapist rather than social media but can't speak for her state of mind in the moment. If I knew her, I would have reached out to check on her, not pass more derogatory comments in the media. Very sad situation
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oldhabibian May 28, 2021 04:03pm
Well, at least there is one guy somewhere who can be thankful for her decision!
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Anita Ali May 29, 2021 10:03am
Seems like Umar Saeed has a lot in common with Mrs Khan who runs a marriage bureau.
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