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My parents told me I was an unwanted child because I was a girl, shares Kangana Ranaut

My parents told me I was an unwanted child because I was a girl, shares Kangana Ranaut

"It’s very hard to live in an environment where you’re reminded, constantly told that your existence is meaningless."
09 Mar, 2016

Kangana Ranaut may be on top of the Bollywood ladder right now but that doesn't mean that the actress hasn't gone through times when she felt unworthy.

On the occasion of the International Women’s Day, the 28-year-old actress demanded that the regressive portrayal of women as “selfless” Indian ladies who only care about the happiness of the men in their lives should be stopped.

Growing up, she revealed she was constantly reminded about her ‘unwanted existence’ as she was a girl: "My parents had a child before Rangoli [her sister] who died within 10 days of his birth. He was called Hero; they simply couldn’t move on from the loss of that baby boy. But then Rangoli happened and she was taken care of, there was a huge celebration."

“However, when I was born, my parents, my mother especially, couldn’t accept the fact that they had another baby girl. I know these stories in detail because every time a guest visited or there was a gathering, they repeated this story in front of me, they would say I was the unwanted child."

The actress, who has acted in women-oriented films like Queen and Tanu Weds Manu Returns added, “It’s very hard to live in an environment where you’re reminded, constantly told that your existence is meaningless and that you are not meant to be here."

The ever so confident star elaborated more while speaking at the launch of new cover of Femina magazine: "I read Kalki’s quote that we women feel as human as a man, we are no different, we have the same flesh and blood, our challenges are just the same. So to expect this larger-than-life, holier-than-thou sort of existence from us is impractical."

Comments

Harmony-1© Mar 09, 2016 04:40pm
This archaic mindset of cherishing boys more than girls is difficult to shake off. Statistically, girls are more caring, better behaved and more law-abiding. Kangana has been courageous against such mindset.
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Fandom Beyond the Borders Mar 09, 2016 04:46pm
And this is the situation in an educated family of India. What would be the condition of those who belong to poor classes.
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Asad Mar 09, 2016 04:57pm
She might be right considering the declining ratio of women to men in India. This unbalance and unbiased treatment towards women would backfire eventually creating bigger problems in India
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A Ali Mar 09, 2016 06:25pm
she was unwanted by her parents, because she is a girl............ every celebrity would say same kind of stuff just to portray he/she is way too talented/ extra ordinary. why don they reveal same when they are new comers in industry, why all super heroes / heroines had to divulge such irrelevant statements once they are established in their particular field. ?.
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KnowTheTruth Mar 09, 2016 06:47pm
Kangana is unnecessarily (and indirectly) abusing her parents for bringing her up such that she could be so successful in life. The fact that there were celebrations when her elder sister was born implies that the family did not care whether the child is a boy or girl, and were overwhelmed that they were blessed with a child. It is quite natural for parents who have a girl, to expect a baby boy next time. It happens even when first child is a boy, and parents look forward to a baby girl next time. She would be better off making news with her acting skills instead of such cheap statements that only demean her parents to whom she owes so much
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jeet Mar 09, 2016 07:47pm
Than how come she grown up as a learned girl.
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Samad Chaudhry London Mar 09, 2016 09:33pm
She is a brave girl Revolted and became successful. Her acting in Queen is so absorbing. She should get producer to make on her real life. Good luck
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Fazal Karim Mar 09, 2016 09:37pm
In the subcontinent, people are valued and respected on the bases of their earning capability. No body dare talking with disrespect to working women who earns by taking job out of her house. We don't realize that caring for the house hold and raising children is itself a job. Status of women will rise when they get education, take up jobs and earn. If governments are serious pay special attention to the education and training of girls.
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Changez_Khan Mar 09, 2016 10:15pm
Kangana: Shame on your parents for making you an unwanted child.
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Truthful Mar 09, 2016 10:32pm
@Fandom Beyond the Borders I can tell you that. In my childhood I remember a woman used to visit us she had five daughters , 4th was named as Rujji (meaning enough) and fifth was Ukki (meaning tired of it)
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a Mar 09, 2016 11:01pm
Something inside me has always told me that this poor girl needs psychiatric help. Right from the first day I heard her in an interview ! . I know her family a bit. What she says is just pent up anger of a rebellious child who wasn't allowed to do certain things in her teenage. That is VERY NORMAL for any middle class parents with teenage daughters in India. They tend to be over protective and cautious. What you have turned out Kanagana is surely your grit talent and hard work, but it also is a testament to your parents' sacrifices for your upbringing. Learn to be grateful.
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shereen Mar 10, 2016 03:48am
As a subcontinent woman almost all of us have gone through such childhood if not from parents definitely from extended families. She must have been at least pretty. I know stories of families telling girls how uncomely they are and who will marry them. It won't stop until we start raising our girls without the ultimate aim of shadi. My relative an auditor himself educated his girls only so they could marry well and if the husband turns out bad would be able to earn a bit. A contingency plan only. Not everyone has a dad like malala.
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Ahsan Gul Mar 10, 2016 05:42am
Actress is right on this issue. Majority of muslims countries girls face the same feelings. Parents want boys or boys are given priority over girls. But we have to be optimistic as women are coming into labor market in Asia and Middle East this trend will change.
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Robin Mar 10, 2016 05:55am
@A Ali Its because no one listens to newcomers but people are more interested in listening to "stars". She is trying to portray that a woman is strong enough to make a career just like men. Her parents underestimated her capability just because of her gender and look where she is today.
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karakozia Mar 10, 2016 06:10am
parents are the only selfless entities you will ever get in your life. You can spread a lot of feminist crap in order to promote liberal/marxist agendas. but believe it or not you will never ever get the same affection irrespective of what length you go on to please your capitalist lords. Everything this capitalist world offers is single serving and you will know your worth ,the day, when you will become expendable for this cruel world. Then you will learn that it is hip to use notions of 'politically correct' but in reality it is paving a path to destruction by blaming men, destroying family system and creating rift between genders.
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Indigo nation Mar 10, 2016 07:07am
Sad to see Kangana ridiculing her parents who gave their best to educate her in the best schools of India and gave her all the freedom to pursue her dreams.
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Madan Mar 10, 2016 07:29am
The preference of boys over girls is well known in India but dawn should not be the place to malign the whole family in the eyes of the world.The fact that Kangana was an odd person in her parents house is already known to the public as told by kangana from time to time.At least Kangana should be thankful that her parents educated her and made her make her name in the film world.Kangana should make peace with her parents and the elder sister.
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abhishek Mar 10, 2016 09:41am
What happens when you are unwanted irrespective of the sex. I am a boy and have experienced the behaviour and attitude reserved for an unwanted child. It destroyed me phsycologically, mentally, socially. Unfortunate that i am not famous and successful as her. That way i could have overcome my past maybe. Some parents are like that. So many times its not about sex, its just a attitude.
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Khuram Nisar Mar 10, 2016 09:54am
@KnowTheTruth I agree that she shouldn't demean her parents but parents could have also stop that non-sense even after the birth. It is okay to wish different gender for second child but to repeat the telecast all the time and especially in front child is definitely shameful. @A ALI Obviously, she would have said that time as well but nobody published that.
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Manoj Jadhav, Mumbai Mar 10, 2016 11:10am
@A Ali No. Actually she is from Haryana, North India which is famous for low birth rate of girl child. People in that part of the country wants boys only. But situation is changing now. Same thing happened with Badminton champ Saina Nehwal. Later she shifted to Bangaluru.
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vikas Mar 10, 2016 11:58am
My parents always tell they wanted a girl as I already have elder brother. It doesn't mean I start hating them if they're comfortable sharing this feeling. I was never neglected anyways, given proper education and all.
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ram Mar 10, 2016 04:54pm
this is normally in North India only. West, South and East have very high respect of women in society..
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ShuBratChowdery Mar 10, 2016 05:40pm
@ram It is definitely more of a north Indian UP, punjabi mindset thats for sure. In Bengal, for the most part, women and men are treated equally.
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anon Mar 11, 2016 10:00am
Readers here probably, do not have any idea how rich a family she comes from ( i.e. her residence back in her state is very big palatial bungalow nestled in mountains). So it is not unjustified that her parents wanted a boy.
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