A completely serious list of vaccination incentives for the government to give Pakistanis

The United States is offering all sorts of incentives for people to get vaccinated — from free Krispy Kreme doughnuts to free weed — and that got us thinking about the incentives the Pakistani government could offer people getting jabbed.

We aren't sure how well free doughnuts would work in Pakistan though, so we came up with a list of incentives the government can offer Pakistanis to encourage vaccinations. All of the suggestions are things that the government could (somewhat) reasonably do.

A signed item from PM Imran

What's the point of having a celebrity prime minister if we don't leverage his celebrity status for good? We're pretty sure a lot of Pakistanis would be very happy to get jabbed for a chance for signed memorabilia from Prime Minister Imran Khan.

Free biryani and chai

Our government needs to think smart. Politicians give out free biryani at political rallies to get people to attend, so why doesn't the government use Pakistan's large appetite to ensure they get vaccinated? Bonus points if they provide a free cup of chai to wash it down.

Chickens!

Remember the premier's chicken and eggs scheme? It may have been mocked in the past, but now is the time to revive it. The price of eggs has gone up and we wouldn't having mind our own personal egg producers at home.

Free Bitcoin consultation with Waqar Zaka (at your own risk)

Waqar Zaka is Pakistan's self-appointed cryptocurrency expert and is apparently working with the KP government, so why doesn't the government leverage that? A free consultation with the country's crypto 'guru' could go a long way to encourage jabs. The consultation would, of course, be at your own risk.

Self defence training with Firdous Ashiq Awan

This should be something the government offers regardless of an incentive campaign because this woman can really throw a punch. Pakistanis could really learn a thing or two in fighting from Awan. This applies, of course, to both men and women.

Co-host the reality show with Fakhre Alam

Now perhaps all this won't appeal to some people. In that case we know what might — co-hosting the ISPR's new military training show with Fakhre Alam! The reality TV show is based on "one of the toughest military competitions" called the Pakistan Army Team Spirit, where the contestants will be eight local teams and four international teams. We're pretty sure some Pakistanis would love to host this show with Alam.