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Tauseeq Haider, known for his newscasting, hosting, and more recently for his work in drama serials, spoke out on how we use very different terminology when talking about marriage for men and women. Appearing on a podcast with host Ahmed Fozan last week, Haider talked about how a man is said to have “chosen not to get married,” while a woman is said usually to have “not been able to get married”.

Regretting that this paints women as victims of circumstance rather than people with autonomy over their decisions, he said women can choose to live an unmarried life while some men are unable to marry even if they want to. He recalled himself being unable to get married despite wanting to at an earlier age.

The radio and TV veteran said marriage isn’t a problem that must be solved, or a requirement that needs to be met. He called marriage “a completion of the self” and said he wouldn’t tie the knot unless he found someone who completes him.

Talking about how society treats daughters differently, Haider agreed there was such a thing as “toxic parenting.” He said its wrong to consider daughters a “burden” that must be unloaded by marrying them off. Saying that the marriage of girls is a responsibility for parents, he asked people to refer to it as a “zimmedari” or a responsibility, not a “bojh” or a burden.

When asked about society seeing children as support for aging parents, he called the notion “misguided,” and called people who have children solely to support themselves in the future “selfish”. Haider remarked that he had been asked on more than one occasion that, should something happen to him, “who would be there to push his wheelchair” in the absence of a wife and children. He replied that people must aspire to be self reliant, and that he has friends who would be there to help if the need ever arose.

Ending the episode on a question about commentaries and podcasts, Haider said he sees nothing wrong with having an opinion on something. Linking to a prior question where he said he doesn’t think too much about negative comments directed at him, the actor said everyone has a right to express their views.