Images

While we're all for mushy expressions of love, we're over destination weddings, OTT weddings and the works.

These unconventional Pakistani weddings were full of love in the most unique way

These weddings encourage intimate settings, environmental conservation and economising. We can get behind that!
Updated 23 Dec, 2019


Who doesn't love a good wedding story?

And while we're all for mushy expressions of love, we're over destination weddings, OTT weddings and the works. What we're really digging are weddings which encourage intimate settings, environmental conservation, economising, and honestly, couples just breaking out of the mould to celebrate their big day.

We got in touch with a few desi couples who managed to convince their parents to go against the tide. Here are seven couples who have won us over with their wedding stories.

This couple went eco-friendly to have a zero-waste wedding

The couple posing on their wedding day.
The couple posing on their wedding day.

Recircle co-founders Wasma Imran and Mahin Khan tied the knot on 30th December, 2018 and there was one thing they knew they wanted for sure; a one-day, zero-waste wedding, as they're big on sustainable living.

"We asked our catering service to use 19 litre Nestlé bottles, and fill them in metal dispensers so that no 1 litre plastic bottle rested on tables. These big nestle bottles are sent back to the company to be recycled," said Wasma. "As for cold drinks, we did not use plastic 1.5 litre bottles and no straws, instead we used glass bottles that were emptied by the catering service in glasses and sent back to the company for recycling."

They had an afternoon wedding in an open farmhouse in Lahore that they rented and they made sure that everything used was recyclable, like artificial flowers. "All our arrangements were re-usable so that even organic waste was avoided and the artificial flower arrangements can be reused at other weddings too. The organic food waste from our wedding was collected by a solid waste company which they converted to compost."


"Our wedding is just another example of how we wanted to ‘not’ harm the environment while we were taking this really big step in our lives. It was about staying true to our principles and practice what we believe in."


To conserve the environment, the couple made invites from seed paper so that when buried and watered regularly, grow into basil plants, making them 100% biodegradable.

"We also made very limited cards, and used a web-invite for most people to be as paper-free as possible. Our wedding favour packaging was made of 100% recycled paper, and no packaged stuff went into it. Only nuts and dried fruits. Moreover, our wedding favour includes one pot with a tiny plant for each family."

Left: Seed paper invites. Right: Ring made of recycled silver and meteorite
Left: Seed paper invites. Right: Ring made of recycled silver and meteorite

They even got their rings hand crafted from Europe Wasma said, "My wedding ring is made of recycled silver, with a meteorite in it. My husband’s ring is also made of meteorite and recycled metal. We got them shipped from Norway and Budapest, respectively. As we’re 100% against diamond mining. Meteorites don’t cost a kidney, and they’re ACTUALLY rare compared to diamonds which are artificially inflated. And while it sounds really fancy, meteorite rings are really cheap! 1/50th the price of diamonds. My wedding jewellery is also hand crafted from scrap metal and recycled silver, as I really didn’t want to spend a lot on my jewellery. It was designed by Esfir Jewels and I absolutely love them!"

She added, "Our wedding is just another example of how we wanted to ‘not’ harm the environment while we were taking this really big step in our lives. It was about staying true to our principles and practice what we believe in. This is who we are and how we live!"

And to top it off, both parties split the costs and there was no dowry in the equation.

This couple got married with just 35 people in attendance and bought a car with their wedding fund

Practical romantics for the win!
Practical romantics for the win!

Food writer and voiceover artist, Aneela Sheikh Bhatti chose to take the path less travelled and had a super intimate ceremony for her wedding.

"Whenever I tell my wedding story to people, especially in Karachi, I am usually met with a few raised eyebrows and judgmental stares. My wedding was very different from the vast majority of matrimonial festivities that take place in Pakistan. For starters, it wasn’t a week of celebrations. I mean, if it’s considered a cultural norm here to have three events just for an engagement, then what we did was not normal," explained Aneela.

"One day, we were sitting in my house, my then-boyfriend and now-husband, took my hand, dragged me to my mum's room and told her, ‘Aunty I want to marry your daughter’and that was basically our engagement. A few months later, we called about 35 people to my house, just the closest family and friends. I signed papers in one room and he did the same in another. After it was over we sat together while people helped themselves to light refreshments of tea, fries, sandwiches, the very basics. I bought my outfit ready made the night before."


"We were 23 with hardly any money in our pockets and did not want to start married life with a ton of debt looming over our heads. As cliché as it sounds and with the spirit of Valentine's Day around the corner, I need to say that although a lot people look to turn their wedding day(s) into this fairy tale, a dream of a perfect day; for me, the fairy tale was always in the happily ever after."


She added, "As a wedding present, my friend's mother had my make-up and hair done at her parlour, so I really lucked out and I happened to look stunning on the day. We didn’t even have a professional photographer so all the pictures from my wedding day are pretty much off people’s phones.

"With the money we saved from the wedding, we got a secondhand Alto which I affectionately refer to as Betsy and is the very same car I drive everywhere to date, four years and a super cute baby later! As a wedding present our friends and family pitched in and we went on an amazing honeymoon to Thailand. Both these things were worth far more to us than feeding 400+ people, most of whom would've spent the evening whispering to each other about how they thought I was getting married because I was pregnant. Sure, we upset a few people by not inviting them to our small event, but we still look back and are so thankful we stuck to our guns and did OUR wedding OUR way. "

Aneela continued, "We were 23 with hardly any money in our pockets and did not want to start married life with a ton of debt looming over our heads. As cliché as it sounds and with the spirit of Valentine's Day around the corner, I need to say that although a lot people look to turn their wedding day(s) into this fairy tale, a dream of a perfect day; for me, the fairy tale was always in the happily ever after."

This bride wore her pre-worn sari to her wedding, and the groom wore jeans

Sana and Wilhelm have been married for seven years now.
Sana and Wilhelm have been married for seven years now.

Talk about being comfortable at your wedding. Sana Nizamani Nilsson and Vilhelm, who wed in Sweden on 12th March 2012 wanted an "event to celebrate love, friendship and mutual respect for who we are. I wanted the focus on us as people and less on the material things."

After taking an exhausting look at the wedding planning, the couple decided to go the simple route.

"We wanted to keep it simple. Firstly, every time we thought of having to book venues, decide the menu, plan the guest list, etc, we got very overwhelmed. It simply took energy and focus away from each other and into this idea of how a wedding day is supposed to be," Sana said.


"Desi weddings are beautiful, bright, big and fun. However, they, much like all weddings in general, can very easily become about the list of guests who must be invited and less about the couple."


"Also, as I am a very private person, I felt uncomfortable having a large gathering on such a special day as we were going to read our vows to each other. Thus, quite early on we realised how we wanted it to be small and intimate. Plus, we wanted to pay for everything ourselves even though both our families generously offered to contribute so a small wedding made it possible to keep it classy within our budget."

When it came to clothes, nothing seemed to be the right fit. "I couldn’t see the point in paying a lot of money for a dress I'd wear once. A few years earlier, my mother had gifted me a sari which I loved. I had worn it to a friend's wedding and had brought it with me when I moved to Sweden. It was simple, red, and it had a history that felt special. Wearing that sari was a way to have my mother at the wedding and I'm so happy I made that decision." She paired it with the only pair of heels she had - bought six years prior.

Sana decided to improvise and made her necklace into a teeka!
Sana decided to improvise and made her necklace into a teeka!

"All my life, I had seen bride wearing teekas. It was hard to imagine becoming a bride and not have one. Years ago, my parents had gifted me a beautiful and simple gold set of which I always wore the necklace. On the day of the wedding, I casually placed the necklace on my head and realised it doubled perfectly as a teeka," she added.

Speaking of her husband's choice to wear jeans, Sana said that that's just him. "Enduring, simple, comfortable and yet, handsome. My husband is a giver, but he rarely treats himself. As he is a great admirer of country living, I was so happy to see him going to a genuine cowboy shop in Stockholm and getting himself clothes down to the leather boots. I slipped an Ajrak around his neck to celebrate the Sindhi in me on our big day."

The total number of people at the event was less than 20 which included her husband's family and their closest friends. Unfortunately Sana's parent's weren't able to attend the ceremony due to visa delays. "My side of the family could only be there on Skype and in our hearts."

"Within minutes, we were all a room filled with happy tears and crackling voices. This sense of raw emotion and the freedom to express it had been made possible by having only a tight knit of people. Seven years and two children later we still cherish the memory of the wedding day and feel thankful for the decisions we made to keep it simple. The sari, the teeka necklace and my husband’s Ajrak made helped create symbolism. There was a lot of thoughtfulness that day."

This couple had a court marriage and distributed food at an Edhi Centre for their valima

The bride and groom on their wedding day.
The bride and groom on their wedding day.

On 19th May 2018, Saadia Subhan got married for the second time wearing a simple blue kurti with a dupatta, no extravagance.

"It’s my second marriage after being single and fighting depression for years, so my parents were hesitant and very careful about it," she said. "On the other hand, it was his (now-husband Subhan Aslam) first marriage and he, being the only son of his parents, also faced many questions."

However, once the families met, there was no going back.

"We had our arrangement at a lawyer’s chamber in Islamabad and our parents were well aware and willing for our marriage. We, along with our parents reached court, had our nikah and registration done within an hour's time," said Saadia.

"I wore a simple blue kurti and dupatta to match his blue formal shirt," she added.


"Besides not wasting any money to please people who’ll criticise no matter what, it was done to remove stigmas attached to the matrimonial process in our society. You don’t have to take heavy loans to meet a set standard just to feel accepted in society".


Their reason for the basic wedding was simple. "Besides not wasting any money to please people who’ll criticise no matter what, it was done to remove stigmas attached to the matrimonial process in our society. We are not against those who love extravagant weddings, but our choice of a simple wedding was to spread a message that marriages can be done in an easy way too. You don’t have to take heavy loans to meet a set standard just to feel accepted in society."

"Our families firmly supported us in standing against social norms of not marrying a divorced woman, accepting/demanding heavy dowry and taking loans for day long celebrations because of “log kia kahein gay” Our parents proudly stood beside us and respected our choice of simple marriage.

The couple driving off to their honeymoon after their nikah
The couple driving off to their honeymoon after their nikah

The funniest bit was the reaction of friends and relatives. "They thought it was a prank. Our wedding announcement was a Facebook post with a picture taken an hour after nikah, both in t-shirts and nobody could tell that we'd really gotten married."

After the nikah, Saadia and Subhan dropped their parents' home and drove off to Nathia Gali for a one-night honeymoon and returned Sunday night, to resume work the following morning. Upon their return they distributed food at an Edhi centre for their valima.

"We are both humanitarians and there was no better way of celebrating valima other than distributing food among those who really deserve."

The total cost of the event, including the nikah and valima food came to a roundabout figure of Rs 15,000.

This bride wore her mom's shaadi outfit on her wedding

Photo (R) by Usman Jamshed Studio
Photo (R) by Usman Jamshed Studio

Journalist Annam Lodhi always knew that when she got married, she wanted to wear her mother's shocking pink shaadi dress.

"Her shaadi outfit was hot pink and the valima jora was this mehndi green dress, with a jamavar gharara and organza dupatta. I'd always thought I'll wear her green dress on my mehndi and the pink one on my shaadi. Strangely, my mom was always against it. Her reasons being, “one should only wear new clothes on their wedding” but I couldn't resist, she had preserved her clothes with the utmost care! She'd worn them just on her wedding day and never again and also still has her bangles, shoes and other accessories from the wedding, even hair pins," shared Lodhi.

The bride and the groom on their big day
The bride and the groom on their big day

Fast forward to 2019, it was time for Annam's nikah: "The idea behind me actually using her dress was my attachment to all things vintage and old. My mom told us numerous stories about her wedding day, how her hair was a mess and the nose pin wasn't right and how hard it was for her to walk in a shahrara for the first time. She was only 17 when she got married, she tells us about her feelings about how she was confused yet happy and what not. I just wanted to be able to tell her story by just wearing her dress.


"Even though I was very emotional about the dress, in the process I realised it helped with the finances too. With the current market, wedding dresses burn a hole in your wallet."


The hot pink shahrara and dupatta have identical work, various handwork techniques have been used, not a sign of machine work and best of all, the work hasn't gone black even after 30 years! The dupatta is just 2.5 meters long. The shirt was plain pink, which I got changed because I wanted it to look heavier and I added an extra dupatta. Even then, everything felt so lightweight because there were no blingy stones on it, it didn't constrain my movement in any way."

The hot pink sharara!
The hot pink sharara!

She got a shirt made from Liberty Market for Rs 20,000 to go with the outfit and the whole look came up to under Rs1 lakh including shoes, jewellery and makeup!

And there's another cool thing about going vintage; Lodhi adds, "Even though I was very emotional about the dress, in the process I realised it helped with the finances too. With the current market, wedding dresses burn a hole in your wallet. It is great to repurpose old dresses and enjoy your day guilt free!"

This bride sang at her wedding to enjoy her day to the fullest

A picture of the happy couple
A picture of the happy couple

Kaghaz's vocalist Amna Nizami caught everyone's attention when she auditioned for Pepsi Battle of the Bands Season 3. She'd taken a flight right after her wedding to Shamayale Khattak and qualified to the next round with henna still unfaded. Turns out this wasn't her first performance post-wedding. She decided to have a concert on her big day as well!

"We wanted to make our wedding our own," said Amna. "It's our big day, why should we be the ones sitting idle and waiting for it all to be over? I should enjoy my own wedding and do what makes me feel alive and happy. We didn't have any Mehndi, Mayun or rasmay. Our main event was a small barat with a nikah so we decided to have a simple event to accompany it and I decided to perform. I'm a musician, that's what I do."

Amna got a few of her fellow musicians on stage and performed for her family.


"It's our big day, why should we be the ones sitting idle and waiting for it all to be over? My parents knew that I'd be performing and they were okay with it. Yes, the guests were surprised because brides don't do that but that's who I am."


"My parents knew that I'd be performing and they were okay with it. Yes, the guests were surprised because brides don't do that but I had played at other close friends' weddings before with other musician friends and I felt it would be more personal if I do it on mine because that's who I am."

"We started with two cover songs which I sang. At the end two very close friends played the rubab and guitar. I played darbuka and people came up on dance floor to dance to the music and that was a win for me."

She added, "Also, this was the first time a lot of my family heard me sing. They were pretty impressed!"

This bride doesn't care for naysayers.
This bride doesn't care for naysayers.

Amna put on a show but groom Shamayale had his own fair share of surprises. The groom revealed that the barat made an entry to the theme music of wrestling stars DX. Coming from a theatre background, Shamayale got his troupe together and put on dances for the crowd.

"It was like larki waley vs larkey waley but we were more involved in them than anyone else."

Brides and grooms having a wedding with their own quirks and enjoying it their way, that's a yes from us!

This couple got married on their balcony within a budget of Rs20,000

Rizwan in his dark blue kurta, minus his wife.
Rizwan in his dark blue kurta, minus his wife.

Rizwan and his wife, Palwasha Minhas celebrated their wedding with the least amount of fuss. In the midst of all the wedding madness last winter, Rizwan tweeted the details of their event, all within Rs20,000.

"Guys shaadi season hai so here's my wedding story in a thread so you guys know that having apni marzi ki shaadi (a wedding of your choice) is possible," he wrote.

The couple, who reside in Lahore and are wedding photographers by profession, had a maximum budget of Rs20,000. "My guest list had 25 names: friends and parents. The venue was my terrace. The menu was chicken tikka, seekh kabab, pathoray chanay, halwa, strawberries."

"A friend lent his cooks, I bought the chicken and masalay from the money and helped prepare the food. My wife cooked khattay aloo as the starter. I forgot dessert so a friend brought strawberries and ice cream. He also brought tables for the food."


"My guest list had 25 names: friends and parents. The venue was my terrace. The menu was chicken tikka, seekh kabab, pathoray chanay, halwa, strawberries."


Decor was kept to a minimum. "My dad bought fairy lights and put them up on the terrace. I borrowed 25 chairs from the neighborhood election committee.

"My wife and I wore plain blue shalwar kameez," he said, courtesy of his mother and sister who bought it as a gift for the duo. "We all ate and talked till midnight when WAPDA cut off the lights. The whole shaadi then moved to restaurant The Manji Munch, DHA and then bas. Khush! Done!"

He concluded by saying, "Sukoon karo. Do whatever you want of course and whatever you can afford. But HAVE FUN. Be happy. Big or small, all weddings should just be HAPPY. Khush raho sab. Bye.”


With additional reporting by Sonia Ashraf.

Comments

SivaD Feb 14, 2019 09:32am
Nice! All the best to the new and not so newly weds.
Recommend
Asif Feb 14, 2019 09:55am
Love this...
Recommend
WTB Feb 14, 2019 09:58am
Nation whose only entertainment in life is marriages of their owns and others can only come up with such write ups. Who cares who wore their ami ka jora for her wedding or who did court marriage? World has move on.
Recommend
Talha vaqar Feb 14, 2019 10:14am
All I wanted from my wedding was a wife! But with my parents it was a different story. They had the burden of years of qorma and sheermaal they had had at other peoples' weddings. So they had this 'loan' to return. They ended up doing a grand walima (worth the price of a 1000 cc car). In the end we both won. :) How's that for a happy wedding story?
Recommend
GHALIBJEEE Feb 14, 2019 10:24am
Good and Positive reporting also needs readers feed-back to encourage newspapers
Recommend
Shujaat Khan Feb 14, 2019 10:25am
Congratulations to all for a happy long life. Hope these trends will go like wildfires.
Recommend
Newborn Feb 14, 2019 10:26am
Most of the listed are from the upper class - they can take these shenanigans with a stride.
Recommend
jo Feb 14, 2019 11:05am
Very inspiring indeed.
Recommend
Syedain Feb 14, 2019 11:07am
Very good, and love these people
Recommend
Ismat Feb 14, 2019 11:11am
Wow what a nice trend setters. Bravo
Recommend
adnan ali qureshi Feb 14, 2019 11:22am
Great Work Team .... really nice one.
Recommend
Humayun Zafar Feb 14, 2019 12:08pm
I have a question. Every story has budget issues in this piece. Why is there no one who doesn't have money issues but want to break the taboo?
Recommend
Rafi Fazli Feb 14, 2019 12:29pm
Love it! This is the way everyone should get married, simple with pure Love.
Recommend
Ghulam Feb 14, 2019 12:34pm
Wonderful. All these wedding stories are motivational and a guide for current and future couples. To hell with "log keya kehen gey". Keep it up
Recommend
Mehnaz shaikh Feb 14, 2019 01:34pm
Some nice stories in this article. Hope more and more people learn from them and keep it simple.
Recommend
Naved Feb 14, 2019 01:45pm
Good, you need to have a mind and courage to act according to your situation and desire. All the best to you all.
Recommend
Humayun Zafar Feb 14, 2019 01:49pm
what a manipulation.
Recommend
Sam Feb 14, 2019 01:49pm
Its so refreshing to read these stories. Good luck to all the couples.
Recommend
fahmida Feb 14, 2019 02:44pm
@WTB Last time I checked, the Marriages happened in all countries. The problem with people like you is they only come here to check on bad news.
Recommend
Umair Tariq Feb 14, 2019 02:45pm
My marriage was done at home when only my 2 brothers 2 uncles and father was present. It was all simple nice and beautiful. We were friends via Facebook from more than 3 years and she travelled all the way from Portugal to marry me. The day we met we married. She wore Pakistani simple clothes for the first time. I was in shalwar kameez (not new). She admitted Islam infront of Imam and then our nikkah was done. Then we exchanged little gifts, offered magrib and joined family for gossips. Next day we planned a little mehndi function at home comprising 20 25 family members and friends. After that we celebrated walima in a restaurant and left for 2 weeks honeymoon. Life is all beautiful and full of joy. We must not care about people.
Recommend
Alanore Feb 14, 2019 03:19pm
The bride wearing her mothers wedding dress so cute. It looks very beautiful.
Recommend
Sabir Pakistani Feb 14, 2019 03:20pm
My marriage so simple...my wife an I fell in love and got married. Parents of us didn’t care.
Recommend
M. Emad Feb 14, 2019 03:39pm
14 February is celebrated as the 'Sister's Day' in Pakistan ! Happy 'Sister's Day' Pakistani Sisters !!
Recommend
Baig Feb 14, 2019 04:48pm
Although I do respect these people's choices for having it heir way I feel other people (whose weddings are more conventional) should not be judged and their choices should also be respected. Unfortunately some of the stories reek of self-righteousness.Not all conventional weddings are done that way because "log kya kahengay".Some people have large families and extended friends and families which they actually really want to be at their big day and there is nothing wrong with that.Charity is also good but there is absolutely no reason to judge someone for having a fancy wedding.Know one of the couples here personally and to be honest maturity is much more important than simplicity for having a successful marriage.
Recommend
tango Feb 14, 2019 04:52pm
Marriage is once a life time event. It should be celebrated with full pomp. it is not a birthday party . Its something to remember for the rest of life . Not like regretting later on that one was being considerate during that time. For girls especially , this is their day . No need to be "Saada and Pur Waqar" event. Let it be most expensive and most happening event.
Recommend
Raja Feb 14, 2019 04:55pm
flawless efforts from all of them. we all need to learn from them to implement such kind of positive steps in our functions.
Recommend
Tariq gULZAR Feb 14, 2019 06:03pm
Good...rest should consider to follow and avoid extravagant events, instead use money for charity!
Recommend
Archie fan Feb 14, 2019 06:39pm
Loved this article. Reminded me of my own wedding!
Recommend
Junaid Ali Feb 14, 2019 09:35pm
Im 21 years old going to Pakistan next month to get married even Im thinking of doing Nikkah only and distributing money to poor which otherwise would had been spent on Walima ceremony
Recommend
Akhtar Banbhan Feb 14, 2019 10:48pm
Amazing people. Wishing them all the best.
Recommend
Ghani anwar Feb 15, 2019 01:44am
Beautiful. A meteorite ring shipped from budapest and norway. What about the carbon footprint of shipment?One of the many things i found in this article to be stupid. Eco friendly tones is a big business these days.
Recommend
shahzad khan Feb 15, 2019 04:08am
My first marriage was a failure due to the fact that it was simple nikah ceremony. After a year we couple felt that our marriage was just nothing. So , go for One marriage with full colours , a marriage should have Mahndi, Barat , wallima with all colours, otherwise simple marriage will end at the last.
Recommend
joe Feb 15, 2019 07:26am
and that's how wedding suppose to be. Spent Less money on guest that you never meet, never will be in your life for any good reason
Recommend
joe Feb 15, 2019 07:29am
have a simple wedding and feed orphans and poor at Edhi center
Recommend
joe Feb 15, 2019 07:43am
all personal preference, if yo want lavish wedding go for it , if you want a Simple wedding go for that. nothing wrong or right its all good as long that makes you 2 Happy couple
Recommend
putho madre Feb 15, 2019 07:59am
Since these new ideas I am breathing better, thank you newly weds.
Recommend
Asim Shaikh Feb 15, 2019 09:18am
I am so proud of you guys !! May you live a very happy and healthy life.
Recommend
Irfan MUNIR Feb 15, 2019 09:59am
وہ تو سب ٹھیک ہے پر سب فوٹو شوٹ مہنگے والا ہی کروائے۔
Recommend
father of Three Feb 15, 2019 10:12am
Keep it simple and have Enjoy Your Life! Forget about the poor, even for a middle class-man Marrying his four daughters is an Herculean task and a trigger for DO MORE CORRUPTION, if he can do it. It is Only the Groom and his Mother, who can put a cap on this Cultural Curse of Dowry and Vanity Fair.
Recommend
Naxalite Feb 15, 2019 08:46pm
Way to go!
Recommend
Aamir Feb 16, 2019 01:19am
That is awesome! the Valima food distributed to Edhi center - Wow and impressive. 15 years ago I had a similar wedding day for our marriage where we had only 30 guests in total and total cost of wedding was less than Rs.30,000. we spent our first two weeks in London and saved money for our home in Canada. way to go and good article for a needed change in Pakistan
Recommend
Jalal Khan Feb 17, 2019 01:04am
Smart people!
Recommend
Ali Vazir Mar 03, 2019 01:52am
This is indeed the job of the modern time media of suggesting positive by sharing positive live examples. Bravo! Mine was Nikah held at mosque that had my childhood memories and aa 1-dish party Valima held in a community center. The bride's suit was purchased by myself and against the fawn color in practice during those days, I had the traditional red sharara for her.
Recommend