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4 awkward truths about Ramazan we don't really talk about

4 awkward truths about Ramazan we don't really talk about

Can we take a closer look at what's going on here?
Updated 11 Jun, 2017

It’s Ramazan!

It comes every year amidst great aplomb and joy. Billions of people come together to join in a period of fasting and prayer in the hope of building patience and gaining peace while spreading tolerance and love.

But there are certain trends that appear only in Ramazan that make life slightly... awkward.

Here’s my list:

1) Without really moving, we end up in an Arab land

Now, this is not in reference to anyone in particular. This is about how a space-time transformation can take place before you’ve even blinked.

One night you’re out with friends partying, enjoying a fabulous dinner and swaying to the trendiest beats. You look around and since it’s summer you see lots of dresses, cold shoulder tops, tight jeans and funky t-shirts. You look up and someone says “chaand nazar agaya!” (Whether our official moon-sighting group has seen or not doesn’t matter.)

It may not quite be the blue moon one dreams of but the one that says Ramazan has arrived in Pakistan – after the rest of the world that is. And what do you know? You look around and the hipster beards have been transformed into religious beards (if that is even a fashion term), abayas and hijabs are suddenly presented like loose waves of cloth and donned, our traditional salam becomes a longer version and our language isn’t ours anymore.

Suhoor, Adhaan, Salah become everyday words and you're left wondering that why no on ever asked you to come along to the ‘How to be an Arab’ course.

2) Tomorrow never comes. Apparently

This is for the pre-iftar shopping.

Can we really eat this much?
Can we really eat this much?

Looking around you in even a basic grocery store, you'd think instead of fasting our people are entering into a month-long competition for ‘Who Can Eat More’.

And the worry is stores will run out of food. Aunties are seen frantically yelling at already-harrassed grocery store workers for ‘Ghee! Atta! Cheenee!’ Bhutto clearly had it wrong when he said ‘Roti, Kapra, Makaan’.

Probably explains the PPP’s political end. Anyway all year round one hears about the need to get fit, the gymming syndrome that has gripped our urbanites and the healthy menus that one is served at cafes and restaurants (whatever happened to a good old greasy burger?) only to see everything collapsing under the weight of five crates of fizzy drinks and boxes of frozen nuggets piled high on a trolley that is creaking under the weight of fifteen murghis, three bags of 5kg of rice and several huge tubs of ice cream. Not to mention the ghee, atta and cheenee...

And this is all one week’s ration. Happy fasting? Happy feasting!

3) A breath of fresh air... is pretty rare

It’s rude to ask someone if they’re fasting. In fact I don’t even want to know. Why? Because Dylan summed it up when he said the answer was blowing in the wind.

Just one whiff of the air coming out of your mouth and I’ll know. Unwittingly at times.

You know, I get it, the lack of water and food makes your mouth dry and the lack of saliva doesn’t help your breath.

But come on! And while we’re at it how about we keep the gasping and sighing to a limit? Not to mention work on speaking without actually moving our mouths. Working as a ventriloquist can make a pretty living in this part of the world. And it’d save the rest of us from finding the truth out there blowing in the wind and it most certainly is not the kind of summer wind Frank Sinatra serenaded us with.

4) Materialism lives on

For a month so spiritual we're lost in too much materialism
For a month so spiritual we're lost in too much materialism

Yes I am looking at you, you lawn corrupting fatcats and I most certainly do not mean the feline creatures defecating in my garden.

Yep, I am talking about lawn joras that cost more than my monthly budget and the Ramazan sales that lure one into a shopping frenzy. When did lawn become a luxury item? It’s a necessity in this part of the world! But I suppose if ever there was a lethal combination it is undoubtedly when capitalism meets religion... I can hear the fatcats purring with delight as little cogs like us grease their machinery and oil their fancy cars with our hard earned pennies.

And what about the iftar parties? When did they become a talking point of who served what and where? All that money spent on feeding the… well fed. I suppose that justifies the grocery shopping. Ramzan being the month of charity and all…

Comments

Farhan Jun 10, 2017 02:38pm
Bad breath is one of the reasons why I would never fast. In our line of work you cannot possibly become a neanderthal for 30 days of the year.
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fari Jun 10, 2017 02:44pm
Well Said!
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@RANA Jun 10, 2017 03:32pm
important issues highlighted by writer. we need to ponder upon these issues.
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ahmed Jun 10, 2017 03:41pm
@Farhan How about brushing your teeth or calling upon the services of mouthwash? During the fast, of course. It pretty well known by now that brushing your teeth does not meddle with the fast.
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Muhammad Usman Jun 10, 2017 04:10pm
Sorry if you don't like but why we use "being an Arab" term for those who wear hijab, long dresses and abaya? Why having beard as a Muslim is criticized so much even we Muslim ask each other if it is "Sharai Darhi " or a fashion.
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Shahid ashraf Jun 10, 2017 04:19pm
Well said! Specially the number 1 about moving to Arab land! I mean guys, there is no extra sawab in Arabising some words. Just be yourself but no. We are more Arabs than the Arabs! :-)
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Hafsa Jun 10, 2017 05:46pm
@Farhan you should study about this topic again..
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Asim Jun 10, 2017 06:01pm
This is all because we lost the true spirit of Ramzan (Yes Ramzan and not Ramadan).
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Ahmer Jun 10, 2017 06:48pm
Great piece of writing ..love it
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Ali Jun 10, 2017 07:43pm
@Farhan go to a nice dentist and plz brush your teeth twice a day....I fast 30 days and never have such issues....better get your hygeine right buddy.
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Khalid73 Jun 10, 2017 07:48pm
@Farhan You clearly don't understand what fasting and the month of Ramdhan is about do you? As for bad breath use a miswaak it works outside of Ramadhan too!
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Kk Jun 10, 2017 08:21pm
@Farhan yeah right....excellent reason !! Fasting is for oneself only,nt 2 show off to anyone. So be prepared 2 gve d same reason wen u r questioned abt NOT fasting !!
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Kk Jun 10, 2017 08:22pm
@Farhan and i come from the line of work where there is direct customer interaction. Still i smell gud during fast.
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Tanwir Hasan Jun 10, 2017 08:27pm
I cannot understand why people in Pakistan (particularly) emulate and want to act and look like Arabs, who are unacceptable to most of the world.
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Hassan Jun 10, 2017 08:55pm
@Farhan did the neanderthal ever hear about mouthwash? or the good old brushing your teeth?
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Rehana Agha Jun 10, 2017 09:21pm
Fifth awkward truth: The hypocrisy prevails.
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