Published Feb 13, 2017 05:27pm

5 people who are secretly happy about the ban on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day has been banned in Pakistan... and noone seems to care.

There's no furious hashtagging on Twitter, no one's made a sarcastic meme (yet) and we guess it's too early in the week to think about protests and rallies. Yawn.

Why the silence, we wonder?

Could it be that people don't care about Valentine's and the government's actually wasted time, resources and possibly taxpayer money in announcing an exceedingly irrelevant ban? Nah, they wouldn't do thaaat.

Also read: PTI wants Japanese cartoon series 'Doraemon' banned

Read this too: Govt unwilling to discuss YouTube ban

Wait there's more: Raees will not release in Pakistan, says the censor board

Remember this horrible day: Punjab govt moves to ban Careem and Uber

Maaaybe, people are secretly happy about the ban. Yes, that has to be it.

Here's 5 kinds of people who could be secretly happy about the ban on Valentine's Day celebrations.

1) Single people. Duh.

As Bina Shah tweeted with mock candour, "I'm single so I hate Valentine's Day anyway. You should all be as miserable as me."

Clapping for honesty.

2) Workaholics

"Valentine's is falling on a Tuesday this year. Totally inconvenient! I could have a meeting that day... My boss usually calls me in the evening... I can't afford a late night in the middle of the week..."

Just marry your job, okay?

3) The *kanjoos*

You were probably as happy about this ban as you were sad about the blocking of torrents.

"Oh no sweety, I can't take you out to that nice cafe. How about we make Maggi at home and watch a movie on my laptop?"

Phft, cheapskate.

4) The conspiracy theorist

"Let's get real. Valentine's Day is all an invention of the Illuminati. The whole concept of chocolates on V-day is a yahoodi saazish, cupid is a RAW agent and global warming is a hoax. Wake up people."

How do you sleep at night, bro?

5) The hipster

"Ugh, Valentine's Day is so commercial. Chocolates are overrated, have you ever tried kale? I'm going to follow the South Korean tradition of Candle Day."

Yeah, we don't know what that is but we doubt you do either.

This article is categorised as humour/satire.


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Comments (34) Closed

Alexey Feb 13, 2017 06:15pm

The first one is me. Yayyy!

Arun Feb 13, 2017 06:18pm

Love should be banned as most marriages are arranged

Princess_of_DHUMP Feb 13, 2017 06:23pm

And 6th one is Ansar Abbasi - he celebrates every ban. TV show, anchor, basant, valentine day you name it!

M. Emad Feb 13, 2017 06:28pm

February is the month of Language Movement, Literature and Love-Valentine.

Maarige Munir Awan Feb 13, 2017 07:27pm

I'm happy with the ban and don't belong to any of the above category. ...hayya is the core value of our religion. ...

SARA Feb 13, 2017 08:21pm

@Maarige Munir Awan nice and true

Danish Feb 13, 2017 08:29pm

This day has no place in our culture. It misleads youth.

Usman Feb 13, 2017 09:08pm

Rightly banned. I don't really care about V-day, but if you feel the urge to celebrate it, do it in private.

Mohabbat Feb 14, 2017 01:22am


Honest Feb 14, 2017 01:44am

Wrong theme of the article. Write about those who secretly support Velantine Day. This stupid day does not have any place in our culture and traditions.

Akil Akhtar Feb 14, 2017 03:12am

Make it 6.....

ikhlaque chan Feb 14, 2017 03:16am

Have the IHC legality to issue such ban? What are the lawmaker for?

Khalid iqbal Feb 14, 2017 04:53am

If you truly love someone, then learn to express your emotions in a meaningful way, valentine day is a commercialized western culture that has very little to do with true love .

Paul Makati Feb 14, 2017 05:50am

@Arun What is the relation? I mean, between love and marriage?

Paul Makati Feb 14, 2017 05:53am

@Danish : True. Our year must be 364 days!!!

Farouq Omaro Feb 14, 2017 06:00am

I will celebrate Valentine's Day this year more merrily.

R. bindingnavele Feb 14, 2017 06:57am

What about husband's with four wives?

anees zed Feb 14, 2017 06:59am

Great decision! Instead, let's celebrate 25th February as Nasir Jamshed Day - The last time he successfully chased a ball to the boundary.

Ali Feb 14, 2017 08:42am

I am not in the list mentioned above. But I support the ban as if you have loved one so do it privately. This is not something encouraging in my point of view to do it publicly.

Sara Feb 14, 2017 09:34am

No surprise here. Stone age

ak Feb 14, 2017 10:53am

Why does valentines day even matter so much.

Samina Ahsan Feb 14, 2017 12:06pm

@Usman private means, chats, text emoticons, posts. Lol

Rizwan Feb 14, 2017 12:57pm

@Alexey you're not alone

SAURABH UMAR Feb 14, 2017 01:49pm

This kind of posts are amazing, keep up the good work Dawn News channel.

mohammed ashraf Feb 14, 2017 02:33pm

There are lots of major issues in Pakistan and definitely valentine's is not one of them. Should leave some room for 21st century.

Anne khan Feb 15, 2017 02:45am

@Arun - Arranged marriages should be banned that's the bottom line.

Anne khan Feb 15, 2017 02:52am

@Khalid iqbal - Pakistani's love Roses especially & roses are the the symbol of Valentine's day so pity not to show love & affection with a little bouquet of roses!!

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:11am

Lol...why can it not be a personal decision to celebrate valentines day or not???? Has the govt. Taken care of all other business that it now has time to tell us what we should celebrate???? Look at the huge problems we need to ivercome rather then distracting ourselves, or perhaps that is the idea !!!

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:12am

@Maarige Munir Awan in you opinion..yes, dont force it on others.

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:13am

@Danish then please do not celebrate it like me, but dont tell others what they should do.

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:13am

@ikhlaque chan corruption!!!

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:14am

@R. bindingnavele lol.....that is why it was banned. Who can buy four bouquets!

Adil Jadoon Feb 15, 2017 09:16am

@ak ask the islamabad high court...

MJ Khan Feb 15, 2017 11:01am

From what i've seen on the internet, its mostly becuz 99.9% of young pakistani men come in the first category. Most are incapable of forming a proper sentence, let alone chatting with a girl. And oh the thirst is real as well. Just a major chunk of losers.