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No Ramazan is free of at least one over-the-top Ramazan show host behaving badly. The month has barely begun, but Jeeto Pakistan’s Fahad Mustafa has already taken the cake for a crass comment he made about veteran actor Atiqa Odho. Both have since apologised — though Mustafa’s apology leaves a lot to be desired — but the problem of ageist and sexist ‘jokes’ still persists.

During the fifth Ramazan transmission of his game show on ARY Digital on Monday, Mustafa made an incredibly distasteful comment to fellow actor Humayun Saeed about Odho in response to her advice to Mustafa to act alongside female costars his own age. His disrespectful public comment alarmed many, including actor Urwa Hocane.

The stream of events started on Sunday, when Odho appeared on Tabish Hashmi’s show Hasna Mana Hai aired on Geo TV. During a segment called Mashwara Baraye Farokht (advice for sale), Odho had to give one piece of advice to the celebrity flashed on the screen. When Mustafa’s face appeared on screen, Odho advised, “I think ab woh waqt agaya hai apni umar ki larkiyon ke saath kaam karna shuru kardein [the time has come for you to start acting opposite girls your age].”

In response, Hashmi said that Mustafa was still young. Odho responded, “Yes, yes. He is also quite handsome, but I think like Humayun, Fahad is now starting to cross a certain age category.”

Clearly offended by the comment, Mustafa chose to make fun of her publicly with Saeed during his gameshow.

“What is the problem with Atiqa Apa?” he asked Saeed.

“Matlab Atiqa apa ke saath ya toh aap aur main unke saath hi hero aayen toh hi wo khush hongi. Matlab kya karain? Ye toh hadh ki baat hogayi (That means Atiqa Apa will only be happy if you [Saeed] and I feature as heroes alongside her. Like, what should we do? This is too much),” the host said.

Taking a gross jab at Odho and her appearance, Mustafa continued, “Atiqa Apa, ab aap hi reh gayi hai hamari heroine bus. Ab Inshallah aap hi ke saath ayenge. Aap zara dou chaar aur achi surgeriyan karayen hum ayenge (Atiqa only you’re left as our heroine now. God willing, we’ll act alongside you now. You get two or four more surgeries and we’ll feature alongside you).” His implication was quite clear.

First of all, kudos to Mustafa for choosing a Ramazan game show to shamelessly vilify a veteran actor and a slow cap for Saeed, who couldn’t stop laughing at Mustafa’s comment.

Let’s jog their memory a little. Odho’s comments didn’t come out of thin air.

In Mustafa’s latest hit drama, Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum, he starred opposite 27-year-old Hania Aamir, while he — a 40-year-old father of two — played a man in his 20s. He did a great job but there’s no denying that there was a very large age gap there.

That might have been one of Mustafa’s only large age-gap pairings, but Saeed is a habitual offender.

This is the same Saeed who was romantically paired opposite Sajal Aly — 31 at the time — in a highly-criticised teacher-student love story in Main Manto Nahi Hoon. In Mere Paas Tum Ho, Saeed, then 48, played husband to Ayeza Khan, who was 28 when the drama aired.

There was also Dil Lagi, where he starred opposite Mehwish Hayat, also 28 at the time, while Saeed was 45 — a 17-year age gap.

The list goes on. Conversations around Saeed repeatedly being paired with much younger heroines are hardly new, yet the actor appears far more comfortable laughing at a colleague only four years older than him than acknowledging the industry’s double standards.

The fact is, men in this industry are often paired with much younger actors.

Urwa Hocane stands up for Odho

Hocane, who starred in 2017’s Punjab Nahi Jaungi with Saeed, took to social media to criticise Mustafa’s comments.

“Also calling someone 10 years older than you ‘Aapa’ in a sarcastic tone to age shame them was too low! If you are saying that then might as well mean it and give respect!” she wrote. She also mentioned that Odho used to star in lead roles opposite Saeed, and said Saeed “got dragged into this because of the arrogant behaviour of the host!”

Hocane called on Mustafa to apologise, saying she was saddened to see him disrespect Odho in this manner.

Actor Zhalay Sarhadi also waded in to the conversation by commenting on a social media post that shared Mustafa’s initial statement, asking whether people actually thought he handled it well.

Odho reacts

Soon after the incident blew up on social media, Odho commented on a social media post, calling it a pity that he insulted her in response to her statement, which also included her talking about him being hard working and good looking.

A few hours later, Odho posted a statement on social media where she requested people to let the issue blow over.

“He’s reacted out of emotion and I truly feel sad that we as public figures can’t say anything lightheartedly without being attacked,” she wrote in her caption.

She said her comment might have hurt Mustafa, apologising to the game show host and “anyone else,” and requested to move on and “pray for better times”.

“Friends, let’s not blow this issue up anymore. Fahad is a talented and hard working professional. He’s reacted out of emotion and I truly feel sad that we as public figures can’t say anything light heartedly without being attacked. Forgive and forget.”

Mustafa ‘apologises’

On his Tuesday show, Mustafa issued an apology to Odho, but it left a lot to be desired.

“Wo rishta hi kya jismain ana hi rahay, khoobsurti jo tab hai jab ajaye maafi Atiqa apa aap hamari bari hain, hum apsay bohat pyaar karte hain aur aap Pakistan ki sabse haseen aurat hai ismain koi shaq nahi hai, aapke saamne hum paani hi bharte hain, Allah aapko khush rakhay. I love you, God bless you and I apologise, apna khayal rakhiye ga. (What is a relationship if it has ego in it? It is beautiful when apology comes in. Atiqa apa, you are our elder, we love you a lot and you are Pakistan’s most beautiful woman, there is no doubt in that. May God keep you happy, I love you, God bless you and I apologise, take care of yourself).”

His ‘apology’ which mentioned nothing of what he said and took no accountability for the crass nature of his comments about her appearance, doesn’t do much to solve the problem of why he said what he said.

Why this is a problem

Neither man has much of a leg to stand on when the argument of pairing them with much younger women comes around, so why did they get so offended? Odho never said she wanted to act alongside them — she merely said Mustafa should act with women their age and it’s difficult to understand what’s so offensive about that.

What’s wrong with saying male actors should be acting with female costars who are the same age as them? Mustafa is starring alongside Mahira Khan — who is much closer to his age than Hania Aamir — in his upcoming film, so he could have easily laughed off the comment and said he was acting with costars of his own generation.

Even if we put the age issue aside, we wonder if there was really a need for such a crass response, that too on a platform as large as Jeeto Pakistan, something Hocane also mentioned. Do our TV hosts share no responsibility for being mindful of what they say on so-called “family shows”? Or is this family entertainment — dragging a woman’s looks into the conversation if you don’t like what she said?

His apology then also spoke about her looks, as if that was the problem. Not that he demeaned a fellow actor, not that he resorted to cheap commentary, not that he made it seem as if she was desperate for his attention.

From younger to older generations, a significant portion of Pakistan is hooked to their screens right after iftar. And that is perhaps an equal part of the problem here. This wasn’t a late-night roast, a private industry joke, or even a candid backstage moment. This was prime-time Ramazan television, a month where respect, restraint and responsibility are supposed to matter the most.

Instead, viewers were served casual ageism, appearance-shaming and a room full of laughter at the expense of a senior actor.

Maybe the bigger question isn’t what Odho said in passing on another show, but why a harmless piece of advice bruised egos enough to turn a Ramazan transmission into a public takedown.

Because if this is what passes for entertainment every year, then perhaps the joke isn’t on Odho at all — it’s on the audience expected to clap along.