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We’ve been doing our best, dear readers, to ignore the circus across the border, especially since certain events earlier this month made it difficult to keep tabs. But every so often, the universe throws something so absurd our way that we must break our silence. Some moments are too baffling to pass up. Enter Ruchi Gujjar at Cannes.

If you’re wondering who that is, you’re not alone. But we suspect that now that you know of her, you’ll never forget her.

The model and actor took to the red carpet of the prestigious French film festival wearing what can only be described as a matrimonial fever dream — a lehenga drenched in gold, complete with gota patti, mirror embroidery and loud kundan jewellery. She paired it with a dupatta on her head.

It seemed far more appropriate for a bridal stage than the Cannes red carpet but to each their own. Cannes may be a celebration of global cinema, but it’s also known to be a celebration of fashion statements.

That’s not why we’re here.

The pièce de résistance of her ensemble was an ornate, custom-made necklace that featured lockets — yes, multiple — emblazoned with none other than Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s face.

Picture this — a necklace with miniature Modi portraits peering out from enamel lotuses, surrounded by pearls, nestled right above a dramatic deep neckline. We’ll give her this — it’s not every day that world leaders are turned into statement jewellery. One can only assume she thinks of Modi as the crown — or neck — jewel of India.

Patriotism can take many forms. Some wave flags, others write odes, and then there are people who apparently wear their premier’s face on their collarbones. And while it’s one thing to pay tribute to your leader, it’s quite another to accessorise with him.

Of course, this stunt might be baffling to most, but who among us hasn’t seen political merch woven into everyday fashion by supporters of political parties? Pakistanis too have a long and colourful tradition of printing politicians’ faces on kurtas, dupattas, and even lawn outfits. As we once chronicled, our political campaign trails have birthed entire fashion trends but our political-inspired fashion is still tasteful and isn’t a gaudy spectacle worth an entire article.

We have certainly never seen anything like this — especially on a global stage, especially in what appears to be bridal wear.

If it weren’t so earnest, it would be performance art. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. It was just another example of spectacle over substance, where the red carpet becomes a runway for nationalism dressed up as couture. The real tragedy here isn’t the necklace itself (which, objectively speaking, is a horror show of design), it’s that Ruchi Gujjar thought this was the moment to be seen and taken seriously.

There are a lot of Indians commenting online about the sheer embarrassment of this outfit and necklace combo — though the necklace far outweighs the outfit on the embarrassment scale — and we feel for them. This is quite the display.