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Behroze Sabzwari needs to stop talking about marriage

Behroze Sabzwari needs to stop talking about marriage

In his latest terrible take, the actor blamed 'spoilt women' for the increasing number of divorces.
26 Feb, 2025

Another day, another problematic take on women by Behroze Sabzwari. This time, the veteran actor has blessed us with his ‘wisdom’ on why marriages fail, and — shocker — it’s apparently because parents spoil their daughters.

If you’re experiencing déjà vu, you’re not alone. Sabzwari has been called out for making eyebrow-raising remarks about women in the past, and his latest one is just as irksome as his last.

Appearing on Madeha Naqvi’s morning show Subh Ka Samaa along with his wife, Safeena Sheikh, Sabzwari was asked to share his thoughts on marriage and the balance of responsibilities between partners.

At first, he seemed to be on the right track, arguing that since women leave their families behind, husbands and in-laws should treat them with love and care. “A girl is leaving her parents behind to come live with you. So, you and your close relatives need to take care of her, irrespective of whatever she’s like, even if she is ill-tempered. If you show her love, she will be yours. My parents need to consider her their daughter, not their bahu,” he said.

“To men, the way you would do anything for your sister, you have to be willing to do anything for your wife,” he added. A rare moment of sense.

But, of course, he didn’t stop there and had to follow up with a statement so drenched in patriarchal entitlement that it could singlehandedly set feminism back a decade.

Sabzwari lamented about marriages now ending in mere months, even after parents host lavish weddings worth millions. To him, the culprit is none other than spoilt women with an exaggerated sense of self-worth.

“Parents pamper their daughters excessively, telling them, ‘Don’t worry, live like a queen; we’ve spent 10 crores on your wedding,’” he declared. According to Sabzwari, this leads women to believe they’re riding into their marital homes, metaphorical whip in hand, ready to assert their dominance. Because, obviously, the idea that a woman might want to have a say in her own life decisions is a terrifying thought.

Meanwhile, in this narrative, the husband remains blameless. “The boy, irrespective of how bad or spoilt he is, is ultimately the son of his parents,” Sabzwari noted. The message is clear: women who dare to have agency are a problem, but men — no matter how flawed — deserve unwavering acceptance because, well, they’re somebody’s sons and that blinds them to the possibility that women can be assertive too.

Instead of challenging this outdated rhetoric, Naqvi reminisced about how women used to be told to remain submissive for the first two years of marriage, after which they could exert control.

Sabzwari, ever the comedian, responded with a laugh: “Yes so that after two years they can kick the parents out of the house.” Ha-ha. Nothing funnier than reinforcing the age-old villainous bahu stereotype, right?

This isn’t just bad advice — it’s dangerous. Blaming women alone for failed marriages is ridiculous. Marriages can end for a myriad of reasons — read more about why over 14,970 women filed for khula in Karachi last year here.

In general, the reasons could vary from mutual incompatibility, financial strain, infidelity, abuse, and lack of emotional support — the list goes on and on.

The notion that women are spoiled for simply having expectations of dignity and partnership is an insult to every woman who has ever been gaslit into silence or endured mistreatment under the guise of ‘patience’.

Perhaps the most frustrating part is how men continue to be given platforms to air such regressive opinions without pushback. We have written extensively about this before too.

Why are we still treating verbal diarrhoea as sage advice? Instead of indulging celebrities who spew antiquated nonsense about women, interviewers should be holding them accountable. At this point, one has to wonder: how many more tone-deaf, patriarchal takes does Sabzwari need to deliver before someone finally takes the mic away?

Comments

Sana Feb 26, 2025 05:57pm
Where is the counter argument? Where is the dialectical discourse? What if I, along with majority, think that Behroz is right(only on this issue)? Why Dawn keeps on publising one-sided narrative on social issues? Why Dawn has gone woke??!!
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Nadeem Shah Feb 26, 2025 06:08pm
our celebrities have an obsession with marriages, they can't show the 100 topics relevant to society, like raising better sons who know how to treat women The problem is not spoiled girls, the problem is spoiled sons like Sabzwari... who just have no idea how to respect women, they think they purchased a woman and not married her. Parents should teach sons to respect women.
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Jin Feb 26, 2025 06:26pm
You know what? He’s not wrong. Though he could be tactful and say both men and women are spoilt with their sense of adoration. However, women have been told fibs more fervently and consistently both by modern “feminists” and their counterpart click bait mullahs that they have this divine status granted to them after marriage that puts them at the forefront. Honestly, if you put yourself ahead of me, I will put myself right back ahead of you…. Simple as that. Get over it
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Iqbal Feb 26, 2025 07:21pm
In fact, in our society men enjoy more liberty of action than women. At times, what men can say or act, even if it is awkward, is still accepted / pardoned but if a woman behaves the same way it’s not likeable, to say the least. So with this mindset in society Mr Sabzwari is not saying something new or surprising. So cheep up guys.
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Taj Ahmad Feb 26, 2025 07:40pm
The huge number of divorces in our women’s specially in showbiz is getting out of control and it’s not a good thing. Please take your marriage more seriously and focus on family first.
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Zeeshan Feb 26, 2025 08:58pm
The rising rhetoric of shutting down people who talk about women and encouraging women badmouthing men have given rise to narratives portrayed in this article. While Sabzwari sahab had talked about boht sides of the coin, his narrative on mistakes of men are encouraged in this biased piece whereas his views on women's faults in marriages are criticized. No wonder the narrative is used to publish articles and make a name for someone.
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HUSSEINALLY j hASHAM Feb 26, 2025 09:03pm
STUPID what more can be said
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Hujjat Ali Feb 26, 2025 11:28pm
Bilkul shi bola
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Polaris Feb 26, 2025 11:58pm
Best wishes for your happy life.
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Syed Hasni Feb 27, 2025 12:04am
lord I pray that no onecomprehends All that I rant and rave in ectasy -Mirza Ghalib Ectasy is an emotion here, not a noun. By the way do they do any urine drug screen before the show.
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zarmeena azeem Feb 27, 2025 12:42am
Seriousy "images staff" you are fighting for feminism and worried about patriarchy. You don't even write who wrote this article. You really think that ONE man's comments is going to topple the decades old fight for feminism. Did the anchor challenge the guests on their views?
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John Malik Feb 27, 2025 01:56am
Dumb are those who take this dumb seriously.
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Rollerblade Feb 27, 2025 02:07am
Come up with something better than whining all the time and trying to brush the problem under the carpet as misogynistic. Harsh truths cannot be labeled as misogynistic all the time. Grow up.
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Afzaal Ahmad Feb 27, 2025 02:30am
Is that the only thing the host could ask him, ? Why marriages fail. Some responsibility lies on the producers of such programs
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Ron Feb 27, 2025 02:46am
Did Sabzwari didn't taught this to his own son, who cheated his first wife right under his nose? Adn does he or his son supports his granddaughter?
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Ali Feb 27, 2025 03:17am
You can’t stop anyone from speaking, there’s something called freedom of speech. Some one can say the same about you that you need to stop speaking about this. In all fairness I disagree with what he’s saying but I will never say what you are saying. Believe me this is a very slippery slope on which you are stepping. Put your best arguments and facts forward and let the readers decide as to what opionion they form.
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Fast comment Feb 27, 2025 04:55am
He’s not right. Men are more spoiled. He should keep his thoughts to himself. People are much more smart than decade back.
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Anees Feb 27, 2025 05:23am
While he is not absolutely right, he isn't totally wrong either.
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Venkataraman Iyer Feb 27, 2025 05:53am
Mostly men do not live upto the expectations of wife.Women are afraid of walking out of wedlock due to social stigma
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Amit Sharma Feb 27, 2025 07:33am
Dil ki baat zubaan par aa hi gayi
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Laila Feb 27, 2025 08:24am
Its ironic and disturbing how many males (and females) in show business including Behroze Sabzwari, Javed Sheikh, Shehroze Sabzwari, Khalillul Rehman etc are deeply misogynistic yet lecturing morality and brainwashing and inciting an already jahil awan against women. As if we don't have enough of the constant blaming women for all ills of society. Males are not held responsible, as usual. His son has a failed marriage and he should remember how people scolded his son even blaming his second marriage and item girl model wife for the breakup. When we can blame women for causing natural disasters and epidemics, why not failed marriages too.
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Talha Feb 27, 2025 08:26am
You 30 something women, get a life!
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Queen Feb 27, 2025 08:28am
Now we know why Behroze Sabzwari does not have a daughter.
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AK Feb 27, 2025 08:37am
He and his son have always been disgusting. I don't know why people even give him any importance.
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Zulfiqar Feb 27, 2025 09:02am
He has a very valid read on the topic. Btw even renowned feminists have given up feminism. It’s old news and not looked upon as progressive in western civil society anymore. Just for your info.
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Zeshan Feb 27, 2025 09:04am
Keep it up! When someone is on payroll of people whose life's goal is to spread feminism, seeing articles like these is inevitable.
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Shafi Feb 27, 2025 09:21am
Who cares.
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Annoyed Feb 27, 2025 10:27am
More a reflection on the interviews / anchor - who for ratings let go of such non sense!
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KK Feb 27, 2025 10:34am
Initiate divorce 70% of the time respective of the culture. Chris Rock famously said that women, children and dogs get unconditional love while a man gets love only on the condition to provide something. While all men are not angels the role of toxic feminism is quite under appreciated and under reported in Pakistani society. Pakistani women are generally quite jealous of each other and quite insecure with very few women actually marrying someone based upon love and compatibility, and usually choosing materialistic criteria. I think you’re analysis is quite biased.
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Akhtar Ali Feb 27, 2025 12:33pm
DAWN,BETTER SUBJECTS TO DISCUSS & ADVERTISE, TODAY WE AHVE BIGGER ISSUES TO TALK ABOUT & SABZWARI WHOOOO???
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Ahmed Feb 27, 2025 01:04pm
So what is the reason for divorce? If the above isn't then surely you know the actual reason. Please enlighten us. Spoilt women is definitely one of the reasons of divorce.
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NYS Feb 27, 2025 01:12pm
You touched upon very intense point ,if woman makes the nation similarly create the good healthy family however , she is stubborn and imitate others women all the time,at this point I opinionated that home will spoil and she will be the cause Bahroz raise the right point we should agree his opinion Field day?
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IMTIAZ AGBOATWALA Feb 27, 2025 01:27pm
I think he's right . If such arrogant girls don't change their attitude after marriage , they shouldn't get married in the first place .
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Farrukh Feb 27, 2025 01:34pm
Come on guys if you come to comparing spoiled girls with soiled spoiled men they're just handful..
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Laila Feb 27, 2025 02:46pm
@KK Actually, no, you can not take the anecdotal comedy of an American comedian or the transparent statistics of America and just apply to any culture or country. This is dishonest and misleading at best. The infamous number of 70-80% WESTERN divorces initiated by women does NOT apply on EASTERN Pakistan or our conservative, patriarchal culture where women unlike American women do not have easy or equal access to divorce. Other factors include: - In Pakistan divorce is a man's right. - Men can divorce with instant triple talaq without reason, repercussions or accountability. -Men need no reason, women need a "valid reason" - Women have to fight for Khula in court. - Pakistani courts are male dominated and courts and often delay Khula applications so women are forced to live in an unwanted nikkah (forced marriage), withdraw their application after years of court delays. - wealthy women with connections or a good expensive lawyer can get divorce quicker. - Most Pakistani women are not wealthy - Pakistani courts/society robs women of their divine rights to separate and remarry and move on with their lives. - Even with divorce ex husbands evade and refuse paying maintenance for their kids. - Divorce is a stigma for Pakistani women but not men. - Remarriage is not easy or encouraged and women are not financially independent, and many families won't support sisters/daughters forcing many to stay in unhappy/abusive marriages. - Divorced Pakistani women don't automatically get alimoney and custody rights. - Most divorces are not even registered as they are verbal and we don't have representative empirical or statistical or data due to stigma and lack of recording. So NO you can not compare America where a woman is free and equal with men in every regard, better or worse, with Pakistan where women's basic rights are seen as vulgar and immoral and denied and where it's the boys who are spoiled and coddled to the the point they have no accountability or responsibility but still want to claim the titles of being Majazi Khuda, leaders and guardians. As long as men were/are issuing instant triple talaqs society was/is ok. But women asking for talaq, oh no, we can't have that. Yes, there is bias, but not from the author but our society and its double standards. Give women right to equal instant divorce, destigmatize female divorcees, normalize female remarriages and end judicial corruption, then we can talk.
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Dr. Salaria, Aamir Ahmad Feb 27, 2025 02:58pm
Please remember, marriages are made in the heavens.
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Laila Feb 27, 2025 03:25pm
I have never heard anybody in my family or outside tell their daughters "dont worry, live like a queen" or pamper them, unless you count treating daughters as guests (it's not "their" home, and after marriage closing doors on daughters, denying their inheritance rights, severing ties and forcing them to stay in abusive marriages even if they die). Then again, most Pakistanis don't have "10 crores" to spend on weddings. He may be talking about the elite. Not even remotely relatable for wider and majority of society.
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asad Feb 27, 2025 05:04pm
"singlehandedly set feminism back a decade." He contributed his fair share. I imagine if everyone else started doing their part, we finally can have some hope of putting this cancerous cat back in the bag.
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Dr. Salaria, Aamir Ahmad Feb 28, 2025 11:38am
Is this a byline column?
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 11:50am
People who actually believe that "spoilt girls" cause divorce, need a reality check. This is Pakistan where girls have no rights, are a burden to be married off asap, and divorced women are stigmatised. Clearly some people lack basic reading and comprehension skills and didnt read the article: "In general, the reasons could vary from mutual incompatibility, financial strain, infidelity, abuse, and lack of emotional support" According to an article in The Tribune by Khalid Rashid (April 2024), divorces are caused by "non-fulfillment of marital responsibilities and restrictions on the wives, have led more couples to call it quits." The jahil awam who supports jahil Behroze Sabzwari are both far from Islam. I actually watched the entire interview and according to the Sabzwaris, girls have no consent, must serve in-laws, and forced marriages are totally fine. But yes, let's pretend spoilt girls with imaginary 10 crore weddings are causing divorces.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 11:55am
@Asad Ok but how do we get the elephant that is the centuries old rampant subcontinental hinduana misogyny, patriarchy, violence against women and deprivation of basic female rights and agency in Pakistan back in the bag?
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:16pm
@Sana Pakistan is deeply patriarchal and misogynistic making the playing field inequal and biased. If you still feel, you have a valid counter argument, write a piece and submit it to Dawn. Being realistic doesn't mean being woke. Behroze is not right, as our society blames women for all. The burden to compromise, be patient, suffer, social stigma is always on women, not men. I never heard the majority proclaim "betA ka naseeb" or lecturing males about not pursuing divorce because "log kya kehenge? Or bachon ka kya hoga? Khandaan ki izzat etc" to sons. But sadly you are right about the majority of society agreeing with Behroze in his misogyny and patriarchy because what else can be expected of a country that still denies women their basic islamic and pakistani legal rights and is among the top most dangerous countries for females to live in, where men get away with everything, women are blamed for everything.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:21pm
@Jin Pakistani women and divine status? Where? What clickbait mullahs? Our mullahs are known for denying women their basic islamic rights. Oh you must mean the foreign non-desi shaykhs who reveal womens rights, marriage being a commitment with mutual rights and responsibilities but still more so for husbands (Qur'an). So islams rules are clickbait? Desi mullahs one sided hinduana jahil cultural views are better? So we should continue to hide real Islam just like we did for centuries in the Subcontinent before internet, blame, control and keep women ignorant, let males roam free, no questions asked, undeterred with no accountability. Great plan... What you call clickbait is Islam. Good luck trying to censor it just so girls don't find out their rights and start pushing back meaning boys and boys families lose their power and benefits.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:29pm
Boys who marry must also be ready to "leave their parents behind" and live separately. This ensures privacy and the spoilt boys and their equally entitled and superiority complex ridden parents can't interfere in sons marriage or dominate the daughter-in-law, or treat her as a free.of cost maid (because of course they deliberately never teach their sons how to take care of his own parents). Mummy's boys and boys that won't arrange separate private housing, shouldn't marry. Then at least the girls can't "kick out the parents" and boys will have to man up and handle their own marriage without interference, and pay their own bills. Parents should save their "10 crores" for retirement and stay in their houses and enjoy retirement.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:31pm
Non-fulfillment of marital rights and restrictions on wives account for most Pakistani divorces. Shehroze Sabzwari is never worried about husbands issuing instant divorces over non issues. He should spend a day in court and see how "easy" it is for women to get Khula. Without money and a good pricy lawyer, cases linger for years (a way for the male dominated, biased and corrupt system to deny women their right to divorce from unhappy or abusive marriage forcing them to give up). So ladies, don't sign the nikkahnama without choosing the right to talaq e tawfeed and demand for separate housing. Live separately and run your own marriage. This is what marriage is. MUTUAL respect, trust, fidelity and compassion. Wives and husbands have rights over EACH OTHER. But Sabzwari (like jahil awam) doesn't know islam so this will be alien for him. The hinduana cultural hold is strong
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:33pm
Every pakistani knows very well most boys are pampered to be arrogant, entitled, spoilt. So coddled by their mothers they can't even get their own water, don't know accountability but enjoy absolute freedom. No burden of family izzat, no social stigma, no blame. After marriage the mummy's boys fail miserably because they can't do justice to their relationships with their parents and wife respectively, forcing wives to live with and serve in-laws thinking wives have no rights. . Demand separate living so boys grow up, man up and become responsible. Then the bahu won't "kick the parents out" either as she will live in and run her own home. In islam men are more responsible and they don't get a free pass for immorality, affairs, zina. Unlike in Pakistans hinduana patriarchal society, where islam and its basic rights for wives are called feminism/westernism.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 12:44pm
Marriage is a commitment between two people. It is based on mutual obligations and rights and husbands and wives both have rights over each other. In Pakistan real islam is not practised. The approach to marriage favors the boy and his family who both for some reason have superiority. The cultural norms are now being challenged. People in happy, content and fulfilling marriages dont seek divorce. Expecting only wives to compromise and forcing her to live her life according to in-laws in joint family are a major cause for divorce too. Both have to compromise and live together but separately from parents. That's called being married adults. In-laws interference also cause divorces. Don't marry if you cant give wives their rights. Because they do have rights. Something our society refuses to understand.
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Ahmed Feb 28, 2025 12:51pm
I'm surprised at Laila. She doesn't understand what's actually going on but has 5 paragraphs in thr comments without addressing the article.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 01:31pm
@Rollerblade Misogyny IS deep rooted, institutionalized and rampant in Pakistan. So complaining why people protest misogyny is not a solution. One actors personal one sided unresearched opinion about who causes divorces is not a harsh truth. Its just nonsense and shows he is clueless about social issues. How many people in your circle can afford 10 crore weddings for their daughters and tell them "don't worry and live like a queen"? If you want to talk coddled, pampered, entitled, spoilt then that applies to boys in Pakistan.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 01:51pm
Its unfortunate that none of our so-called anchors, hosts, so-called morning/evening show hosts know how to interview guests. The only topic is Shaadi and love. That's it. Madeeha Naqvi, Nida Yasir should observe how celebrities are interviewed on international shows and MAYBE learn something. But that's not likely. Why not invite actual knowledgeable guests like Syeda Arfa Zehra, Javed Ahmed Ghamaidi, international profiles even? I sat through 1 hour 15 minutes of a host behaving like a star struck teenager, a male guest with his micro aggressive outbursts, a wife with internalised patriarchy smiling wide while telling us how her own father didn't seem it necessary to get her consent in marriage and carefully repeatedly telling us her husbands anger issues while simultaneously denying them. Very unserious show. Waste of time. This is what awaam is watching. Plus dramas. No wonder we aren't progressing.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 02:03pm
@Talha How do you know the writer is 30 something and does not have a life? I guess it was too hard to critique the contents of the article so your went for character assassination instead. Predictable attempt to shut down other views.
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Laila Feb 28, 2025 02:52pm
I am surprised at Ahmed. So focused on me instead if his no good reading skills, which is why he asks things, which are already stated in the article such as what the "actual reason for divorce" is if not Sabzwari's anecdotal version. The author of the article clearly mentions many reasons. 4th paragraph from the bottom.
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Zulfiqar Feb 28, 2025 04:23pm
What a toxic mentality Behroz has..
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