Behroze Sabzwari needs to stop talking about marriage
Another day, another problematic take on women by Behroze Sabzwari. This time, the veteran actor has blessed us with his ‘wisdom’ on why marriages fail, and — shocker — it’s apparently because parents spoil their daughters.
If you’re experiencing déjà vu, you’re not alone. Sabzwari has been called out for making eyebrow-raising remarks about women in the past, and his latest one is just as irksome as his last.
Appearing on Madeha Naqvi’s morning show Subh Ka Samaa along with his wife, Safeena Sheikh, Sabzwari was asked to share his thoughts on marriage and the balance of responsibilities between partners.
At first, he seemed to be on the right track, arguing that since women leave their families behind, husbands and in-laws should treat them with love and care. “A girl is leaving her parents behind to come live with you. So, you and your close relatives need to take care of her, irrespective of whatever she’s like, even if she is ill-tempered. If you show her love, she will be yours. My parents need to consider her their daughter, not their bahu,” he said.
“To men, the way you would do anything for your sister, you have to be willing to do anything for your wife,” he added. A rare moment of sense.
But, of course, he didn’t stop there and had to follow up with a statement so drenched in patriarchal entitlement that it could singlehandedly set feminism back a decade.
Sabzwari lamented about marriages now ending in mere months, even after parents host lavish weddings worth millions. To him, the culprit is none other than spoilt women with an exaggerated sense of self-worth.
“Parents pamper their daughters excessively, telling them, ‘Don’t worry, live like a queen; we’ve spent 10 crores on your wedding,’” he declared. According to Sabzwari, this leads women to believe they’re riding into their marital homes, metaphorical whip in hand, ready to assert their dominance. Because, obviously, the idea that a woman might want to have a say in her own life decisions is a terrifying thought.
Meanwhile, in this narrative, the husband remains blameless. “The boy, irrespective of how bad or spoilt he is, is ultimately the son of his parents,” Sabzwari noted. The message is clear: women who dare to have agency are a problem, but men — no matter how flawed — deserve unwavering acceptance because, well, they’re somebody’s sons and that blinds them to the possibility that women can be assertive too.
Instead of challenging this outdated rhetoric, Naqvi reminisced about how women used to be told to remain submissive for the first two years of marriage, after which they could exert control.
Sabzwari, ever the comedian, responded with a laugh: “Yes so that after two years they can kick the parents out of the house.” Ha-ha. Nothing funnier than reinforcing the age-old villainous bahu stereotype, right?
This isn’t just bad advice — it’s dangerous. Blaming women alone for failed marriages is ridiculous. Marriages can end for a myriad of reasons — read more about why over 14,970 women filed for khula in Karachi last year here.
In general, the reasons could vary from mutual incompatibility, financial strain, infidelity, abuse, and lack of emotional support — the list goes on and on.
The notion that women are spoiled for simply having expectations of dignity and partnership is an insult to every woman who has ever been gaslit into silence or endured mistreatment under the guise of ‘patience’.
Perhaps the most frustrating part is how men continue to be given platforms to air such regressive opinions without pushback. We have written extensively about this before too.
Why are we still treating verbal diarrhoea as sage advice? Instead of indulging celebrities who spew antiquated nonsense about women, interviewers should be holding them accountable. At this point, one has to wonder: how many more tone-deaf, patriarchal takes does Sabzwari need to deliver before someone finally takes the mic away?
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