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Sarwat Gilani opened up about having postpartum depression for the first time after her third pregnancy, and the dark thoughts she faced during the difficult time.

During a recent appearance on ARY Digital’s Good Morning Pakistan, the actor revealed that she truly understood what postpartum depression was after giving birth to her daughter Ella in December. She only met her daughter four days after giving birth to her because Gilani had to undergo “serious surgeries” following the delivery.

“When I met her [Ella] four days later, and she was struggling to breastfeed, I felt that I should just drop her [from my arms] because that would end all tensions,” she said.

Gilani said that she broke down later and told her husband, plastic surgeon Fahad Mirza, that she wanted to hurt the baby. Mirza told her that she was experiencing postpartum blues and that the feeling would not be permanent.

“This awareness is very important. If you have strange feelings, they are not you. It is just a mental state that you’re going through,” the Joyland actor emphasised. She said that for awareness, one should read up on postpartum depression before giving birth because the pregnant individual should be the first one to know what they are going through.

“Anything can happen to you during that depression,” she said.

Gilani said that in the first four months after her delivery, she was in a very dark place, adding that during postpartum depression, people faced suicidal thoughts and their situation became “gloom or doom”.

“Postpartum is a very important subject we do not talk about,” she stated.

According to Mayo Clinic, postpartum depression is a complication of giving birth which entails a severe, long-lasting form of depression experienced by new mothers. Some symptoms include depressed mood or severe mood swings, crying too much, difficulty bonding with your baby, intense irritability and anger, fear that you’re not a good mother, and hopelessness.

In Pakistan, postpartum depression is common among women with a prevalence rate ranging from 28 per cent to 63pc, placing it among the highest in Asia, according to a report by the Nursing for Women’s Health Journal. Despite how widespread it is in Pakistan, postpartum depression is often considered a taboo topic which is swept under the rug as it is not considered a ‘legitimate’ concern.

Celebrities like Gilani raising awareness about the disorder helps normalise it and start wider conversations about the importance of providing adequate care to mothers suffering from the condition.