Khalilur Rehman Qamar doesn’t respect men either

The writer claimed that all men cheat on women, because it's their "instinct".
Updated 23 Nov, 2023

Khalilur Rehman Qamar, the self-proclaimed expert on relationships and women, has once again spewed his regressive views in a recent interview. We’re quite over calling him out because it has little effect, but this time, it was interesting that he has gone after men — usually his greatest supporters.

In a recent episode of The Talk Talk Show with host Hassan Choudary on Express TV, Qamar claimed that people need time to understand him. FYI — we’ve given him plenty of time, and his views remain as regressive as ever. Every time he opens his mouth, it’s a cringe-worthy experience that only deepens our disdain for his outdated perspectives.

In this particular interview, Qamar targeted men, his own gender and the ones who usually applaud his misogynistic views. When questioned about his fixation on women in his writings, especially in works like Aik Sau Taeeswaan, one of three short stories in Teri Meri Kahaniyaan, an anthology film by Hum TV, his response was nothing short of absurd.

Qamar claimed, “Men are manufactured to be worse than women; you cannot change him at any cost or in any situation. It is a man’s instinct [to cheat].” He even suggested that women should stick with cheating men because there is “no one better”.

The writer believes that all men are cheaters and cannot stay loyal to their partners. We don’t have to tell you how disrespectful this is to men as much women. This sends a troubling message to his male supporters — you are not worthy of being trusted.

In the same interview, when asked about the recurring themes of ‘haya and wafa’ [loyalty and humility] in his dramas, Qamar claimed that these values are everything in the world, yet men don’t possess them.

“Men have borrowed ‘haya and wafa’ [humility and loyalty] from women; they don’t have it of their own. Loyalty towards women, he learns it from women while in women it is inbuilt,” he claimed.

Qamar seems to think men have no modesty or humility, and must be trained — like recalcitrant children — by women.

When challenged on this generalisation of men as cheaters, Qamar dismissed the possibility of change, stating it would destroy the social setup and lead to rampant reproduction because, according to him, “men don’t reproduce.” The lack of logic and correlation here is staggering.

Qamar’s sweeping claim that “all men are cheaters” shows a lack of basic respect for men. We cannot believe we’re saying this, but #NotAllMen. Not all men cheat and for him to lump everyone into the same category of infidelity is ridiculous. For all the men who champion his views, here’s a reality check — according to Qamar, you’re not the honourable figure he depicts. Qamar insists men are destined to betray those they love, telling women in committed relationships to be insecure and never to have faith in men.

If a man can’t even show basic respect to his own gender, there’s little hope for respect in the way he treats women. While it seems that Qamar may not have encountered them, there are countless men globally who are both loyal in their relationships and modest. However, we see that expecting Qamar to comprehend this is futile.

It’s not as if he has hidden his twisted opinions about people from the world. His self-righteous and, frankly, vicious attitude, has been on display time and again, in his disrespectful treatment of Marvi Sirmed during a debate about the ‘Mera Jism Meri Marzi’ slogan advocating consent, in his immature tweet about Mahira Khan, criticising her for expressing differing opinions, and in his infamous ‘do takkay ki aurat’ dialogue, later weaponised by misogynistic men, are glaring examples of his regressive mindset towards women.

All these instances showcase his lack of maturity in handling criticism or points of view that differ from his.

It’s time for talk show hosts and media channels to cease providing a platform for Qamar’s harmful views. His ability to dismiss criticism and trivialise serious issues on these platforms is not just shameful but also contributes to normalising toxic ideologies.

Khalilur Rehman Qamar may have observed women for 40 years, but his self-proclaimed expertise doesn’t qualify him to understand the struggles and complexities women face in a society that urgently needs to move beyond his archaic mindset.

This interview is just one of a long list of troubling opportunities given to him to spread his toxic views. This time, we learned that he doesn’t believe that good men exist, just like he believes women aren’t good enough either. It’s about time he keeps his damaging judgments to himself and the media stops amplifying his out-of-touch views.