A woman who gains weight is not any less desirable, Aagha Ali

A woman who gains weight is not any less desirable, Aagha Ali

Apparently the only promise the actor wanted before marrying Hina Altaf? "Please don't fat."
Updated 11 Aug, 2020

Despite being called out for problematic content countless times, Nida Yasir's Good Morning Pakistan continues to bag headlines based on controversial statements, truly believing all publicity is good publicity.

In a recent interview with newlyweds Aagha Ali and Hina Altaf, the platform once again came under fire on social media when a clip of the duo went viral, in which they casually share with the audience what conditions set the base for their marriage.

"Before marriage, Aagha showed me a picture of someone, who wasn't me and said if you become this fat..." shared Hina.

"No ji," protested Aagha. "I said I don't want anything in this world, only one promise, only one. Please don't get fat, for god's sake."

In a Pakistani context where expectations of glamourised appearances are conditioned as acceptable parts of relationships, Altaf also mentioned how her husband taunts her between meals, reminding her of the 'promise' she made to him.

But why is communication and compromise within a celebrity couple's relationship, a public condemnation affair?

In a society that constantly puts women on a pedestal, unrealistic body standards have dominated television screens, Instagram feeds, and our everyday lives like no tomorrow. The brunt of this pressure is especially faced by married, and according to society, plus-sized women - who despite being all rounders, have to prove their worth based on their size.

It is deemed natural to criticise, humiliate and often discredit women with feelings of inadequacy if they gain a few pounds.

With the way Aagha has demanded, or may I say demeaned, fat women are somehow less desirable and unlovable. Apparently even less acceptable than the prospect of losing an entire relationship, based on just your weight.

When you say things on national television in front of millions of people who put you on a pedestal based on your celebrity status, you give out the message that it is okay to glare at your partner's food or use coercive, emotional means to keep a constant watch on what is on their plate.

When you laugh it off, you normalise the dynamics of such a behaviour - a relationship based on just obsessing over whether your partner is attracted to you. A relationship, where staying fit and healthy isn't encouraged as a preference or a norm, but portrayed as a condition or intimidating threat. One can be a cheerleader and support system for their partner in their quest for fitness, or one can straight up fat-shame - no points for guessing what this interaction came off as.

With physical attraction forming the basis of relationships, change in appearances affects relationship dynamics in grave ways. So what happens if the promise breaks? If a woman indulges in food habits post-maternity, or even as an escape?

According to Aagha's explanation, his concern is because "no producer/ director/ writer would like to have an overweight heroine." However, his justification only makes things worse if you ask me.

Having the resources, the platform and a massive fan following, the duo has the power to advocate for change. To raise important questions, instead of lowering the spirits of the many women watching them.

Does your weight define your talent? Is being fat worse than being a toxic partner, objectifying companion or controlling authority in a relationship?


ali Aug 11, 2020 11:46am
Banda apni biwi say farmayesh bhi na kare?
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Maverick Aug 11, 2020 11:59am
What is wrong with it? Girls ask men to not smoke after marriage (good for health), and what if a man ask girl in a polite way to be not obese? I would not call it body-shamming because getting tons of weight and falling victim to diabetes and other cardiac issues is not fine at all
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SadFaces Aug 11, 2020 12:27pm
Men are shammed in a similar way too. Women just choose to ignore it.
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Only Aug 11, 2020 12:33pm
Bitter truth.
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Moon Aug 11, 2020 12:37pm
Very realistic article. Good
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s@@d Aug 11, 2020 01:01pm
Being overweight/obese is not healthy. Stop making everything about feminism. Just to prove her point, i would urge the write of this piece to gain more weight and try to live her life as normally as she used to do before. I agree with this notion that we should not fat shame anyone or not to show biases against anyone due to their weight but this does not mean we should not try to keep ourselves fit. This notion is pretty stupid, being overweight/obese is not a badge of honor. I highly doubt this assertion that overweight person is as much desirable as anyone else. Some people might be comfortable with it but on equal terms others are free to not like this. You can not force anyone.
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Saoud Ahmed Aug 11, 2020 01:17pm
This morning show specifically, must be stopped airing. We demand its alteration. We are tired of listening to their nonsense live on the screen with family. This has been happening and will keep happening unless it is quit. Nida doesn't hesitate to ask even very personal questions from the invited couples. I can't even write which questions does she ask them in the show. Don't believe me? Feel free to check on Youtube.
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Sab Se Pehle Pakistan Aug 11, 2020 02:26pm
I am surprised if people even watch these so called morning shows. These days everyone becomes a celebrity. Who are these people? What is their achievement to be known as a celebrity?
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Dr. Doctor Aug 11, 2020 03:50pm
A non-issue. Is this a me-fat-too day? If one thinks that the ones in showbiz are not materialistic and operate by a very well balanced code geared towards non-materialism then I am sorry to state you are totally mistaken. The reality is pretty lame and whosoever watches these shows either has too much time or is detached from reality.
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Adil Badshah Aug 11, 2020 04:04pm
It’s desirable just to keep your mouth shut.
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Arshad Rauf Aug 11, 2020 04:14pm
Not sure if the intent is publicity for any one of the actors involved. What does it matter as to what they say? guess the writer has nothing better to do than find stories which are not! what a waste of time and print
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Umisalim Aug 11, 2020 06:01pm
Shame on the ones who criticise Agha every person has a his/her own choices my husband like chubby women I was very very thin he always used to feed me alot I think these gestures are out of love. So not need to object
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Aysha Pervaiz Aug 11, 2020 06:02pm
This is so problematic. Over weight women have no right to be happy , successful or married. It truly reflects the warped standards of patriarchy.
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sam_a Aug 11, 2020 06:18pm
so that's the deal-breaker? apart from everything else i could say about this sad individual, does he not know that women often put on weight, especially after giving birth, for hormonal reasons which are nothing to do with food intake?
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popnigsk Aug 11, 2020 07:15pm
every person is allowed to have an opinion. Society can not dictate what a person wants for himself. Its their relationship. Who are we to judge ?
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Bashir George Aug 11, 2020 07:50pm
Body shaming is a perennial issue in Pakistani society and several women are being bullied and harassed.
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Nadia Neely Aug 11, 2020 08:33pm
So? Big Deal....
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Atif Aug 11, 2020 11:01pm
What about a man who gains weight? Does he become any less undesirable? If the answer is yes and if the same is applied on women and the answer is No then you someone needs to get their double standards fixed!! Why can't we let an individual decide what his/her preferences are regarding weight of his/her spouse!!
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Sane One Aug 11, 2020 11:51pm
Weight is one of the features that do define you as a person at first sight. May be most of the times weight is not in your control and you can't do anything about it. However if you gain weight due to bad habits then it is definitely your own fault. You may be comfortable with it but others may not. Natural weight which is not in your control is just like your height. Everyone has likes and preferences so guys and girls can choose according to their own preferences but you cant force one to be an item from your menu list
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Illawarrior Aug 12, 2020 05:49am
Of course these men who object to their wives gaining weight, are all perfect athletic specimens?
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Arqam Aug 12, 2020 09:19am
This is just plain who you are no matter how you are!
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afraz Jabeen Aug 12, 2020 11:15am
Very well-written article. It's the biggest dilemma of our society where weight is the only standard of measuring a woman's beauty. :( Everyone knows but no one understands that every girl can not be zero size.
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H Aug 12, 2020 01:49pm
To the person who said, "everybody is allowed to have an opinion and we can not dictate someone"... body shaming someone is not okay, whether that someone is your wife or your child. There is nothing wrong with gaining weight as long as you're healthy. Keeping an eye on your partner's plate when they're eating and 'taaney baazi' doesn't make your relationship with your wife healthy, it makes your relationship extremely toxic.
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Hammar Aug 12, 2020 04:08pm
He's asking his wife to stay fit, there is no if and then conditions there, so chill
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Umar Aug 13, 2020 07:52am
@popnigsk celebrities are role models, they have a huge influence over their audience. I agree that they have the right to say to their spouse what they wish, but keep it private if it something like this! Very well written article.
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Tahseen Aug 13, 2020 07:59am
What a jerk! Sarah Khan must be having the last laugh!
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Reality check Aug 13, 2020 10:10am
Why do women have to be appealing based on their appearance. That is just more objectification of them.
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Saad Dar Aug 13, 2020 03:41pm
I am not sure why my earlier comment was not published. I just mentioned that being overweight/obese is medically undesirable and there is alot of health related risks associated with it, there is no point in glorifying being over-weight just to prove a point. I hundred % agree that we should not body-shame anyone neither we should deprive some of their rights just because they donot fit your beauty standards.
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