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This Pakistani children's book is on a mission to educate kids about sexual abuse

This Pakistani children's book is on a mission to educate kids about sexual abuse

"It’s a book I wish I had growing up,” says author Ashhad Ahmed Qureshi about the Mera Jism Mera Hai series
Updated 07 Jul, 2020

In a world where child abuse is alarmingly prevalent, parents need to be talking to their kids about bodily autonomy - and only when we talk about it, can we help to create a more intuitive understanding of consent for the little ones.

Mera Jism Mera Hai written by Ashhad Ahmed Qureshi is an illustrated children's book series that carefully debunks the myths and misconceptions around sexual abuse and provides free legal and mental health resources for children and their guardians.

Engaging and culturally sensitive, the book masterfully provides a much-needed healthy perspective on how to recognise and identify abuse and offer support to minor survivors who are unable to reveal their discomfort due to fear and confusion surrounding the topic.

"As a child, I was sexually abused for years by someone in my extended family. I remember how confused and helpless I had felt," shared Ashhad, as he explained why he felt compelled to write this book.

“I had so badly wanted to do something about it but I didn’t know what and I didn’t know how."

Also read: Parents, here's why your kids aren't too young to learn about sexual abuse

"But my story is just one of countless others. I was privileged that when I was able to finally disclose to my parents, I was able to get the support I needed to heal but I know many others are not so lucky. This is why I wrote this book —it is a book I wish I had had growing up."

Start having these conversations when they're young

Since resources of such nature are taboo and not widely available, the author chose to write it in Urdu, hoping that its reach and need as a curriculum requirement in educational institutes can help foster translations of the book in regional languages too.

Written in simple language - the book models conversations in an appropriate manner, educating children about their body and who is allowed to touch them. Vibrant illustrations by Aziza Ahmad further make the process of understanding seamless.

However, given the sensitivity and prevalence of the issue in our society, compiling the book was an arduous process, as Ashhad describes.

"Most of what I read on existing literature during my research was not suitable for a Pakistani context. Not even the language could be translated to Urdu easily. We don’t really have words in Urdu for personal space, body boundaries, and so on, at least not for everyday use. You can translate them for sure, but it would not carry the same meaning. I had to really think about how to convey the same concept but in a way that would be understood by everyone," said Qureshi.

This may be one reason why addressing children who are reading the book, is done in a tone that is both explanatory, yet careful and compassionate.

"I led a workshop with the program manager for mental health at Indus Health Network, where we put each word of the book under scrutiny. Is it simple to understand? Is it culturally appropriate? Is it respectful of people’s beliefs? Are there better ways of conveying the same concept?"

"After making all the necessary changes, we finally sent the manuscript to underserved areas in Karachi, where the community members (who would hopefully read this to their children in the future) provided their feedback and we made necessary changes," added the author.

Busting misconceptions

The book also provides an activity section where children can identify the family members they can trust and open up to. A similar guide is also available for parents where they can recognise changes in their children's behaviours and know something is troubling them accordingly.

Specifically, the book aims to clarify two misconceptions around bodily autonomy in the context of Pakistan. First, that perpetrators are distant strangers that only prey on immoral individuals. Second, that people who come out with their stories do it for attention and deserve the blame.

"In more than 80% of the cases, the perpetrators are known to the victims, usually family members or acquaintances," says Qureshi.

"The truth is that this issue is so heavily stigmatised that those who do speak up are speaking truth to power. They often risk losing everything, sometimes even their own lives (honour killings), so we, as a society, really need to think critically about what it must take for someone to disclose their experiences."

Thus, it encourages survivors to speak up about their experiences, and be vocal about it without internalising the shame.

Determined and emotionally evocative, the book is wholesome and its title, powerful.

"For so many of us in Pakistan’s collectivist society, our freedom and autonomy is stripped from us and chained to the approval of other, usually male, members of the family. I want the title of the book to be a fitting reminder to all of us that decisions around our bodily autonomy, respect, and dignity are ours to make, now and forever," says Ashhad.

"At the end of the day, the most important things that I hope readers, namely survivors, will take away from the book are that their experiences are real and should be believed, their ways of coping with them are valid, it was never their fault, and that they will always be deserving of love and support."

Priced at Rs275, you can buy a hard copy of the book here.

Comments

Arshad Javed Sandal Jul 06, 2020 11:38am
My believe is, in olden days Mom's teach their kids especially girls, growing up to be very careful about her life and body parts, not to be touched by elders, un-known persons and even brothers. This was essential part of their training, now we do not find mothers and siblings, trained by their elders. This all is due to modern life, change in habits, media activities like drama's, telling lies, facing monetary discrimination, etc. If all about sex is to be teach in school, then co-education should not be allowed and teacher's character should be authenticated.
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Chrís Dăn Jul 06, 2020 11:38am
I am glad to see this awareness and importance .
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Zen Jul 06, 2020 11:45am
Bravo. A great effort for noble cause.
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illawarrior Jul 06, 2020 11:54am
Well done! A great start!
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Laila Jul 06, 2020 12:23pm
I fully support this initiative and its long overdue. But ignorant pseudo-conservatives will undoubtedly take issue with the title because you know "how can your body be yours and all" just like they did during the womens march. This book needs to be in Urdu and Punjabi as well, so your campaign can reach as many as possible. Predators are disabled by ignorance, avoidance of talking about this openly and a misplaced sense of personal and familial shame. Tell your child this is their body. Tell them about consent. Foster trust and honesty so they will come to you. Don't let them become another hidden statistic. Keep safe.
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AZAM AKBAR Jul 06, 2020 03:07pm
Good for the children.
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Ahmad Jul 06, 2020 03:38pm
A very good initiative. I don’t sound pessimistic but it’s very likely that the moral brigade will come in action against this great idea.
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Kumar Jul 06, 2020 03:45pm
Great initiative. Kudos to the author.
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Mohsin Jul 06, 2020 04:39pm
Thank you sir, for doing this service,
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Ghulam Nabi Jul 06, 2020 04:51pm
This book is a Basic need of every house. Everyone should read this book with their Kids.
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GM Jul 06, 2020 05:04pm
What a hypocrite society we grew up in where there is no shame in sexual abuse but ashamed to talk about it.
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Assad Jul 06, 2020 05:11pm
This should be a mandatory text in all schools to eradicate the curse of sexual exploitation of children.
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gghh Jul 06, 2020 05:57pm
Shabhash
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Ibrahim S Jul 06, 2020 06:31pm
It would work better if we have a similar books for the adults and a due process where elites and powerful will not get away .We call is zero tolerance policy. Some religious places of different faiths are notorious for abusing minors. Do we have access to their places as well and law applies to them
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Ask Jul 06, 2020 06:50pm
This is brilliant! Already placed an order.
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Abdul Basit Jul 06, 2020 07:28pm
Excellent. I hope this is easily available
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Annu Jul 06, 2020 07:50pm
Thankyou for writing on such an important topic. Please let us know, how can we support to distribute these books around the world. Child abuse is a global problem.
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Jehengir khan Jul 06, 2020 09:27pm
Don't educate children because they are victims and helpless...educate adults and enforce rapid and serve justice for criminal acts...
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Sami Jul 06, 2020 10:05pm
Long overdue! I wish there was a book like this one, that we all were required to read, when I was a kid.
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Waqas Ahmad Khan Jul 07, 2020 02:14am
Such a great effort by the writer.
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Saab Jul 07, 2020 03:07am
Awesome work! Keep it up! Put it on Amazon.
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Laila Jul 07, 2020 09:24am
I fully support this initiative and its long overdue. But ignorant pseudo-conservatives will undoubtedly take issue with the title because you know "how can your body be yours and all" just like they did during the womens march. This book needs to be in Urdu and Punjabi as well. I say this so your campaign can reach as many as possible. Predators are disabled by ignorance, avoidance of talking about this happens openly and a misplaced sense of personal and familial shame. Tell your child this is their body. Tell them about consent. Foster trust and honesty so they will come to you. Don't let them become another hidden statistic.
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Ahmed Jul 07, 2020 11:19am
Police and Government departments concerned with child health and social justice need to be sensitised. Most of the molestation cases related to child sexual abuse, molestation, rape and forced Religious conversion go unreported in Pakistan.
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Laila Jul 07, 2020 09:20pm
@Jehengir khan if we don't educate kids, how will we protect them from predators? How will they know what signs to look out for? How will they know who to come to for help? How will they know they shouldn't feel ashamed? How will they know their bodies are their own and they should not let anyone touch them inappropriately? Be realistic.
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Laila Jul 08, 2020 07:08pm
@Ibrahim S yes, but this requires eliminating corruption and battling the pseudo religious conservatives and mullahs of our society. That's not likely to happen. But I agree with you. I think sexual education should be mandatory in schools so people know the limits and that abuse is wrong, criminalal and sinful. It's repercussion afor the victims. Everything. We need to have honest discussions. But that's not going to happen either.
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Illawarrior Jul 11, 2020 06:38am
@Jehengir khan It does not have to be one or the other, it can be BOTH, and more!
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