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This TV host thinks marriage is a cure for mental illness
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This TV host thinks marriage is a cure for mental illness

He also said it's unnatural for women to have careers. Umm, what?
Images Staff
15 Apr, 2019

Another day, another misogynistic moment on national TV.

On comedy show Khabarzar on AAP NEWS on April 13, TV host Aftab Iqbal made some highly irresponsible remarks about a supposed connection between a woman's singlehood and mental health.

Read more: Watch this news anchor correct Mustafa Kamal's casual sexism on live TV

The show usually dramatises events while discussing them, and on last Saturday's episode about fake faith healers, he said about a woman acting like she's experiencing symptoms of 'hysteria': "31 years and not married. Then they complain she makes noises and gets taken over by djinns. This is a pure case of hysteria. You wretched women and your obsession with your careers... this is what happens when you disturb nature."

When the woman's on-screen brother says she's too busy attending international workshops to consider marriage, the host said, "Instead of having her attend workshops every other day, get her married."

Also read: 8 women reveal what it's like to be single and over 30 while living in Pakistan

Iqbal's remarks are uninformed on many levels. Not only does he make light of mental illness by advocating marriage as a remedy for a serious disease, he demonises single women and women with careers while reinforcing the incorrect idea that a career and marriage are incompatible for a woman. All in the space of a few minutes.

Many have criticised him for his views:

But will this feedback be heard? While PEMRA has tried to clamp down on child abuse dramas, unnecessary glamour and bold scenes, it has more often than not failed to address the problematic views aired by prominent figures on TV.

While a word of warning was recently sent to morning show producers, perhaps it's time for late-night shows to be given the same level of scrutiny.

Comments

naveed Apr 15, 2019 02:52pm
I agreee with aftab iqbal
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Nabeel Apr 15, 2019 02:54pm
Aftab Iqbal was spot on with his remarks.
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rolling my eyes Apr 15, 2019 02:56pm
what century is this man living in, and who thought it would be a good idea to make him a tv anchor and distort the views of vulnerable citizens with his irresponsible and ill-informed remarks?
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M.Mudassir Siddiqui Apr 15, 2019 02:58pm
why making big Issue out of it?
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Humanity Apr 15, 2019 03:18pm
Very well said!
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Imran Apr 15, 2019 03:27pm
As there is difference of opinion so is difference of approach... Let's accommodate and analyze others' approach and then consider difference of opinion ... There are no science formulae to prove or disprove human behaviors...
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Raza Apr 15, 2019 03:31pm
I am sick of this person Aftab Iqbal. I am sick of those endorsing or defending his wretched views.
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bhaRAT© Apr 15, 2019 03:40pm
"Another day, another misogynistic moment on national TV. " This vibe goes on daily throughout South Asia.
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Faisal Apr 15, 2019 03:49pm
@naveed of course u do, most Pakistani men have the same medieval mindset.
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bhaRAT© Apr 15, 2019 03:51pm
@Nabeel "Aftab Iqbal was spot on with his remarks." No, he was not. There should be no place for misogyny.
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Zahid Sharfi Apr 15, 2019 03:55pm
There was no need to bring the lady to this Show. Aftab Iqbal was dead wrong as to his comments on the lady's career. Must moderate his attitude. Thanks.
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Riffat Hussain Apr 15, 2019 03:55pm
Dear Friends, What about living in stressful married life? it will not make you happy what about professional women? Man cannot do such jobs Then what's solution? Human body is programmed and needs to work on those lines but blind believe on Mr AI point is not 100% Perfect. See all the sides of coin then decide. They are millions of women working and bread earner.
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Syed Apr 15, 2019 03:59pm
Highly idiotic of this anchorperson - if not revealing. Thought he had more sense. Disappointed.
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aslam khan Apr 15, 2019 04:00pm
Once people in this country get a hold of a microphone they suddenly become experts at something or the other.
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Patriot Apr 15, 2019 04:06pm
In which century are Pakistanis living? Aftab Iqbal is a sick man, he needs to get urgent treatment from a psychiatrist.
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SATT Apr 15, 2019 04:06pm
His arrow hit where it was targeted the gullible middle class.
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A pakistani Apr 15, 2019 04:07pm
Aftab Iqbal is correct. There was no demonizing, there's literally so many SJW content and garbage being aired on our TV that it's almost suffocating, not all the time we want to turn on the TV and watch a drama based on 'abuse'.
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Khattak Apr 15, 2019 04:08pm
@Nabeel are you absolutely insane have you lost all sense of reality and humanity people like you deserve to be kicked out of this country
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Fahad Apr 15, 2019 04:10pm
Somewhat agree with Aftab Iqbal. The mental trauma of not getting married is a lot for a woman.
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Shahid - Denmark Apr 15, 2019 04:11pm
To understand Aftab Iqbal one should see thing in the right perspective. Most urban intellectuals of western orientation try to analyse a woman from our rural culture as if she was an modern urban educated and independent individual of high class social segment. They may not know that in rural and in small town families, thousands of girls do not get married due to lack of funds for dowry and festivities. It happens against their will and they can't even speak about their sufferings out of shame and the situation results in personality disorders, hysteria and depression.
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Aa Apr 15, 2019 04:22pm
So how to treat the hysteria of married women, get them divorced? I bet more than 50% of married women in our society are under depression and unhappy with their marriages, next time invite them to a TV show and help them get separated.
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Dr. Faazil Ahmed Apr 15, 2019 04:25pm
Ridiculous person with absolutely backward thinking.
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Anas Apr 15, 2019 04:30pm
Who ever has written this article, has over reacted and misinterpreted Aftab Iqbal's observation.
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M.Emad Apr 15, 2019 04:30pm
Why a scientific fact is being made an issue. Marriage is not a punishment, rather it is a bliss. Did he say married women should stay home in traditional role?
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M. Saeed Apr 15, 2019 04:35pm
Take it easy folks, it was just a comedy show.
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Farrukh Inam Apr 15, 2019 04:45pm
@rolling my eyes what has time got to do with anything. Enlightement and ignorance are temporarily independent.
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Luke Apr 15, 2019 04:48pm
Point is: Don't we have the freedom of speech for everyone? Is it restricted to a few people? Honestly, I see him as a forthright person. No derogatory comments as such.
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Shaukat Apr 15, 2019 04:51pm
Aftab Iqbal is not a doctor, why he is even making these stupid remarks?
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Kamran Qureshi Apr 15, 2019 04:57pm
@Imran so true
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Kaifa Apr 15, 2019 05:01pm
@naveed Then you are agreeing with his PROFOUND JAHILLIYAH !
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Kamran Qureshi Apr 15, 2019 05:10pm
@Zahid Sharfi @rolling my eyes please watch it a few times and I am sure you will realize that AI was just exposing one of the ills of our culture and bringing balance to life will definitely play a role here. Please don’t try to turn it another hashtag Twitter campaign
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Kamran Qureshi Apr 15, 2019 05:12pm
@Shahid - Denmark thoughtfully crafted response, thanks for enlightening the readers
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Kamran Qureshi Apr 15, 2019 05:13pm
@Anas you got it write.
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Munaza Khan Apr 15, 2019 05:17pm
I did not see the show, however if she is having symptoms of “making noises” and acting as if not in her senses, please first take her to a neurologist to rule out any form of epilepsy. Second take her to a Psychiatrist. It is tough to be a single girl in Pakistan, therefore she may be struggling with anxiety or depression. She may even be very happy as a single person and enjoying her career. Therefore all medical options needs to be explored for her proper treatment.
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Amir Apr 15, 2019 05:24pm
He is right! Women job should be limited to taking care of the home and family. It's men who should go out and earn a living. Stop copying the West!
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Farhan Aizaz Apr 15, 2019 05:25pm
I agree with Aftab Iqbal remarks
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Muba Apr 15, 2019 05:29pm
in my opinion it is a clash of societies and culture what causes these conversations..rather than picking sides and basing each other we should work to educate each other on realities of our society.
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Asim Apr 15, 2019 05:31pm
To some extent he is right
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Zulfiqar Apr 15, 2019 05:48pm
Mr Iqbal is being judgemental. He is otherwise reasonable but I don’t think mental health can be ignored anymore . Pakistan has an epidemic of mental health and the reason is that most people are unwilling or unable to acknowledge that it exists. We need to change our attitudes towards what we don’t understand.
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Frank Apr 15, 2019 06:11pm
A woman's natural role in life is to raise children. A few may be suitable for a career but most aren't. Have any of you lived in a Western society? Feminism is destroying Western societies.
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Oz Apr 15, 2019 06:18pm
The host is right, Twitter is wrong.
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Shahid Apr 15, 2019 06:29pm
It is a mistake to take everything he says seriously. Let him have his opinion, privately. But if he airs in public, seriously, public has the right to take notice of it, also seriously. The real problem is the microphone in hand which can intoxicated some worse than the worst intoxicant. And remember freedom of expression and speech? This is the side effect of that too. Listening to learn or unlearn is purely personal choice of risk.
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Rebirth Apr 15, 2019 06:34pm
Sometimes, it's hard for overachieving women to find a comparable man. Those who come across as over-achievers and consequently, potential suitors usually chase after "beauty" (attractive women). It is unfortunate that it is very rare that a successful man would marry a woman because of her smarts, as opposed to her looks, unless it's part of the "package". A smart and successful woman is naturally attractive but it isn't common for her to fit the Marilyn Monroe-style "dumb blonde" persona. Looking good and working on your careers is a hard balance to strike. Not everyone can commit to both. It's basically a bargain for some. Women that choose the former find a man much quicker. Also, a woman with an amazing career can't settle for a man with a lesser career. The same isn't true vice versa. A successful man can marry someone much less educated and both would be fine unlike in the previous scenario. Overachieving women are at a disadvantage when it comes to the "rishta" marketplace.
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Janjua Apr 15, 2019 06:37pm
It's a common belief and host is partially correct.
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TakeItEasy Apr 15, 2019 06:39pm
Guys, take it easy. It is just a comedy show. You don't have to be politically correct everywhere. Leave this poor TV show host alone. We have more worst kind of women abuse case occurs in our society on day to day basis. Let's improve that first.
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emad Apr 15, 2019 06:47pm
super agree 100%
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Ibrahim Apr 15, 2019 06:51pm
When it comes to bashing women Pakistan is top drawer.
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gullu Badsha Apr 15, 2019 06:57pm
This man thinks no end of himself. Just look at the way he sits during the show. Arrogant to the core.
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Reality Bites Apr 15, 2019 07:10pm
TV entertainers take themselves too seriously and pretend to be philosophers and psychiatrists . Aftab Iqbal, Sohail Ahmad, Orya Maqbool Jan and Hassan Nisar have been marketing themselves as wisdom and truth speakers. These people are nothing but rating getters for TV business.
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Disparate Apr 15, 2019 07:18pm
Your article should have included opinions of psychiatrists and psychologists on this subject.
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Salman Apr 15, 2019 07:38pm
Yes he is right. Late marriage and career aspirations do meddle with nature. When you meddle with nature this happens and there is no misogyny in saying that. This is the reality and you can't refrain from this. This way or the other way you have to accept it. Otherwise nature will make its own ways to move on. It is for our own betterment that we accept to abide by rules of nature.
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Ehsan Apr 15, 2019 07:50pm
Most of these talk show hosts think they are expert on everything
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NK Apr 15, 2019 08:13pm
100% agree with aftab iqbal.
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NK Apr 15, 2019 08:15pm
Well the burger culture is responsible to make an issue of a simple skit
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artofscience Apr 15, 2019 08:26pm
I work in the women's mental health in Canada and our findings support Aftab Iqbal's arguments. Preliminary results suggest that women above age 25 and unpartnered tend to be more depressed/anxious than the partnered ones.
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NewBorn Apr 15, 2019 08:52pm
He's not wrong.
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Zeeshan Apr 15, 2019 09:01pm
Yes, he is absolutely right.
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JawAd Apr 15, 2019 09:08pm
Now if people do everything he says on his show the joke is on them . The truth is be it men or women the professions of the modern world bring about a certain level of isolation . We don’t live in the physical world and live most of our lives in the digital world connecting with a lot more people but making far fewer bonds . His example could have reversed the role from woman to man and would have been just fine to avoid the somewhat misplaced backlash. What you are supposed to get in a marriage you can not get in a profession and vice versa . Life is all about balance and if it’s skewed it leads to escapist behavior which for the most part results in immersing more digitally and professionally propagating the cycle .
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Faisal Apr 15, 2019 09:11pm
backward mindset. same for those who are defending him.
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RA Apr 15, 2019 09:14pm
I agree with Aftab Iqbal. I have seen same situation in my two friends/class fellows (one male & one female). They rejected every proposal after university for the sake of their careers and also due to class differences. Now at the ages of 32 and 33 they are in pathetic condition of mental depression and desire a relationship desperately.
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RA Apr 15, 2019 09:21pm
I think he didn't say unnatural to choosing career by women, instead he said it about the suppression of natural physical desires (one can say romantic desires) by any of the gender (not specifically by women). Exceptional cases are also there in society who prefer to be single throughout their whole life.
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JDSHAMI Apr 15, 2019 09:27pm
it is true
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Saeed Ahmed Apr 15, 2019 09:31pm
@Fahad I agree with you. Marriage does bring stability and purpose in life, irrespective of if it’s a treatment for hysteria or not.
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Saeed Ahmed Apr 15, 2019 09:33pm
@artofscience I agree with you.
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S Apr 15, 2019 09:36pm
Some people are just ignorant.
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leo Apr 15, 2019 09:47pm
I did not see the show but one has to strike a balance b/w the career and home life. Excess towards one thing creates problem. However we have to be meticulous while treading on murky waters for example if you do not know the root cause of a mental disorder then you cannot simply be a Know-it-all dishing out a black and white solution. Myriads of issues there are today with men and women both. Unless you apprise yourselves with the relevant details, you should not speak at all. BE CAREFUL in your speech
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Aysha Apr 15, 2019 10:03pm
A little knowledge is dangerous , aftab Iqbal proved it and confirmed in the comment section.
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Jam Kamaal Apr 15, 2019 10:24pm
I absolutely agree with Aftab Iqbal. Mess with natural order of things, you will feel the repercussions down the years. Career women who are blasting Aftab Iqbal are sad lot, they are unhappy deep down.
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N. Ahmed Apr 15, 2019 10:36pm
I dont see anything wrong with his views. Its not just about women, if men get overwhelmed with their careers and dont't give due attention to their family and personal lives, it will create psychological problems.
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Irfan Apr 15, 2019 10:57pm
I agree with Aftab Iqbal.
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Ash Malhotra Apr 16, 2019 12:29am
Aaftab Iqbaal seems to be very learned and well informed. But sometimes the best of the best can falter and be over confident and ill informed like in the present incident.
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aziz Apr 16, 2019 12:43am
My wife of 5 years is 32 and does not work, and has hysteria and anxiety attacks. So does her mother. Mental illness can be made worse by circumstances however, he has implied that she needs a pe*is to get cured, which is a male chauvinistic statement prevalent in our culture and also speaks volumes about his own education.
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aziz Apr 16, 2019 12:44am
@Fahad how do you know? are you a woman? What is the objective basis of your statement?
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Arsha Apr 16, 2019 12:52am
@Riffat Hussain man can't do which jobs? Why marriage is stressful when the woman is working? In a lot of households it actually reduces stress because of improved finances. And it improves the status of the woman with her financial independence
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Pervez Apr 16, 2019 12:55am
Aftab Iqbal should be fired immediately.
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Arsha Apr 16, 2019 12:56am
@Fahad actually no. I am a woman in 30s who chose not to marry. I am financially independent, professionally doing well, and am very content with the choices I made so far. In Asia more and more urban women are making similar choice to avoid having to deal with the patriarchal mindset on a day to day basis.
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Assad Apr 16, 2019 12:59am
@Nabeel @Naveed You two are among the reasons that Pakistan stinks so much when it comes to the economy. When 50% of Pakistan's population (women) sits uselessly at home since you want to keep them locked instead of helping out the nation, obviously our economy will remain a basket case of jails. No education and no jobs for the women, you two say. Too worried about their modesty? Then lower your gaze when you see women outside working and earning a living for their families.
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Xyz Apr 16, 2019 01:01am
@Amir you are a man so better don't try to decide what a woman should do with her own life if she is not harming anyone or not doing anything illegal. Biggest problem in the society is men get too eager to dictate what a woman should or should not do. Let the women decide for themselves.
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Xyz Apr 16, 2019 01:05am
@Frank yet western women are happier and safer. Most Asian women do not wish to return and feel more protected after moving to west. If women don't want to play a certain role then who are you to dictate otherwise. Who decides the role of a man or a woman and why should anyone base their one short life on what anyone else says. Let women define their own rules and their roles. And men can and should do the same. Don't try to impose on the other.
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Ghazanafar Apr 16, 2019 01:47am
@Amir . Ya stop copying west. Stop speaking in English.Stop driving cars .Stop wearing pant suit. Pakistani women should switch off their brains and chain themselves to the kitchen. They should become baby making factories. Pakistani Men should work at least 4 jobs and make sure they make enough money for 4 separate houses and 4 separate wives and for all the children they must support . They must pay all the bills , all the expenses , all the fees and taxes for every household member and stand guard 24/7 because of they don't they are failing in their duty.
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Khalid iqbal Apr 16, 2019 02:37am
I think the concept of family is being replaced by career , wether it’s a man or women , for some people career is every thing , we should try to live balanced life , A life in which there is a career as well as a family , for a happy family marriage becomes a rule , for a happy family at least one partner needs to have a career, wether it’s a man or woman , or sometime both.Balance is the key word.
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AA Apr 16, 2019 02:46am
@Rebirth, you nailed it, especially the first para. I personally know women with a professional degree who couldn't pursue their career because they got married right after graduation and then got busy with raising kids, as well as women with good looks who got married at an early age and could neither pursue higher education nor a career. Now after their kids are grown and busy with their own lives, these women feel themselves useless and are under severe depression.
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mig21 Apr 16, 2019 04:00am
@naveed then you are the reason why Pakistan is behind.
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mig21 Apr 16, 2019 04:03am
@Fahad "a lot for a woman" lol coming from a man, you guys are a joke and pakistan look like a joke to outsiders.
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mig21 Apr 16, 2019 04:05am
@M.Emad No. he recommended marriage to cure mental illness. that's where he's dead wrong. is he a psychiatrist? no. then he should have never commented on any mental illness.
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mig21 Apr 16, 2019 04:06am
@Irfan do you also beat your wife like a disgusting animal?
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mig21 Apr 16, 2019 04:08am
@Zeeshan it's backward mentality like yours that pakistan is backwards. grow up.
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utter patriot Apr 16, 2019 06:15am
Twitter reacts after fundamentalist TV host demonises women with careers, makes uninformed remarks about mental illness
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Mustafa Nazir Ahmad Apr 16, 2019 06:36am
@naveed And on whose experience is your observation based: your mother's, sister's, wife's or daughter's.
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Murtaza Apr 16, 2019 07:20am
What a barbaric statement and those agreeing with Aftab fall in the same category.
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Khan Apr 16, 2019 07:31am
Don’t make a mockery of things. He was right as in most cases such hysteria happens due to seclusion.
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illawarrior Apr 16, 2019 09:11am
@M.Mudassir Siddiqui Because it is appalling, and an issue needs to be made, so people like you understand its repugnance!
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Nitin Gulhane Apr 16, 2019 09:14am
@Amir , This probably was true 100 years ago. Now a woman not working is a loss of brain energy that powers the nation. Not utilising the brains of half the population is a crime against humanity
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illawarrior Apr 16, 2019 09:15am
@Fahad Seriously? For many women it is quite the opposite, especially those forced/pressured into marriages they do not want. The stress of an unwanted marriage v the freedom and independence of being single? It is a no-brainer!
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Nitin Gulhane Apr 16, 2019 09:18am
@Frank then stop using medicines, electronics and sciences invented by women. I disagree that most women are unfit for any job... incompetence is equally distributed between men and women. God didn't discriminate based in gender when it comes to competence
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Faraz Apr 16, 2019 09:40am
He hasn't said anything wrong.
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Sobia Apr 16, 2019 11:19am
Psychological illnesses can certainly have roots in social conditions.
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Anum Apr 16, 2019 01:23pm
With respect, I think my mental health was much better before marriage. So it can also be the other way around.
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Patriot Apr 16, 2019 02:31pm
To get married or not, to have children or not should be left to the woman concerned. It is her body and her life and she has full right over it. No one- not even parents can force or coerce their daughters to get married.
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HashBrown® Apr 16, 2019 02:34pm
@Arsha @Assad @Xyz Some of the best replies here, thank you for saving my last bit of faith in humanity...
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Anon Apr 16, 2019 02:45pm
@Arsha You didn't clear his doubt.
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naveed Apr 16, 2019 04:51pm
@Faisal medieval does not neccesarily tanslate into incorrect or evil. in this case it is on the contrary . women are meant to look after the families first and then business
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AD Apr 16, 2019 07:23pm
Nothing wrong in what he said
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Hasan Apr 16, 2019 08:20pm
I think people should respect difference of opinion. If we can accept even defend the vulger statements during aurat march then this is nothing to worry about. Stay cool
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Tariq Minhas Apr 17, 2019 04:53am
Uneducated TV. Get an education and also get an education on how to host a show!
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Ahmad Zia Apr 17, 2019 08:25am
there was nothing wrong in his statement what he said was in fact a true depiction of our society
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Arab Gul Apr 17, 2019 11:16am
I could never agree with Aftab Iqbal. He was spot on.
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Laila Apr 17, 2019 09:12pm
@Hasan We women have been "accepting" the daily vulgar displays and harassment by Pakistani men, and you are whining about Aurat march? Nothing vulgar about it. Stop comparing oranges and apples. Don't conflate.
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Laila Apr 17, 2019 09:21pm
It is appalling how many comments are praising this tool, who isclearly suffering from chronic ignorance and misogyny. No wonder our society suffers from rampant misogyny where women are second class citizens with no agency. When will men stop telling us what to wear, say and what to do? Mind your own business. Marriage definetely didnt cure whatever Aftab Iqbal is suffering from.
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HashBrown® Apr 17, 2019 10:15pm
I think it's safe to assume that every person here who has explained the mentality of women and offered a "diagnosis" is a man. Ghalib used to mock our mullahs for being obsessed with the personal hygiene of women while our society decayed around us; 150 years later, his words are still so true...
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Hasan Abbas Apr 18, 2019 03:04pm
HashBrown® Sir can u say it for prophets? Who actually bring the message how to behave how to react what should be wear and what not? Where are we living and what we condemning? Just think and define our own limits as we all are crossing our limits. Those who referred west for women rights first assess their history that when they accept women as human being and when they have given rights of votes to them. Please don't do this you all are playing in the hands of others
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Osama Apr 18, 2019 06:21pm
Whats wrong.. Marriage is a human need
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Nauman Beg Apr 19, 2019 10:24am
100% agree with Aftab Iqbal
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Moazzam Niazi Apr 19, 2019 10:38pm
I completely agree with Aftab Iqbal. There is nothing wrong with this anchor. In my opinion, the author of this article has overlooked many facts. No one is against women empowerment, these psychological problems are also associated with men.
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