Pakistani-American stand-up comedian Kumail Nanjiani made his Saturday Night Live debut in this week's episode, where he skewered racists for well, sounding rather dumb.
Here are some choice outtakes from his monologue:
About reactions to his movie *The Big Sick*
"A guy said [about The Big Sick], 'I watched the whole movie. I just don't like race mixing.' First of all, nobody good ever uses the phrase 'race mixing'. Even if someone was like, 'I'm pro-race mixing', I'd be like, 'Why are you talking like that? Are you an undercover KKK... dragon?!'
About encountering racism after The Big Sick released
"My Twitter mentions were a bit of mess after the movie. One guy said, "Go back to India', which I've never been to India [sic]. Are you just hoping I have an awesome vacation soon?"
About his racism-busting fantasies
"My fantasy is when someone is racist to me, I want danger to befall them immediately. And then... I wanna rescue them, just to see the confused look on their face. Like I want them to say, 'Go back to India, haha'... Wolves... And then I fight off all the wolves... And they were like, 'We were racist to you and you still like, saved us.'... And I go, "That is the way of my people.'"
His advice to racists
"Here's my problem with most racism... it's the inaccuracy... I'm like, 'DO the research. PUT IN the work. You will SEE THE BENEFITS.
"I'll give you an example. If someone yells at me, 'Go back to India', I'll be like, 'That guy's an idiot'. If someone was like, 'Go back to Pakistan, which was part of India until 1947 and is now home to the world's oldest salt mine', I'd be like, 'This guy seems to know what he's talking about. I'll pack my bags.'
"Just because someone's racist doesn't mean they have to be ignorant. An informed racist is A BETTER RACIST."