Updated May 10, 2017 10:48am

'For a victim of sexual assault like me, TV drama Sangat was a slap in my face'

A child sexual abuse survivor speaks out about how 'jokes' about abuse and insensitive Pakistani TV dramas affect them
A child sexual abuse survivor speaks out about how 'jokes' about abuse and insensitive Pakistani TV dramas affect them

Imagine being 13 years old and being sexually assaulted by a (trusted) member of your family in his 30s, a married man with children.

Imagine not being able to say anything because you're kind of numb about what just happened, and because you think that perhaps you misunderstood the situation; you think maybe it was just a bad dream because you were sleeping and woke up to this.

Now you are doubting yourself because after all, this person is your much older cousin and you have been friends with him since he came to the country a couple of years ago. Not just that, but his widowed mother has lived with you and your family for the last five years. So after a while, you have convinced yourself that this incident was just a bad dream and couldn’t possible happen in reality.

So you go back to normal – until it happens again and this time in daylight. You then realise the first time wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a reality just like this.

You don’t know what to do, you don’t know if you can tell someone; after all this is family. It would completely destroy his mother and your parents’ relationship with her and his entire family. So you decide to tell no one, but engage yourself in other activities and go on with life.

You are now in high school and the memories of those assaults have been successfully repressed until one day they aren’t. Your grades go down, college is next year and thankfully you have already been accepted to your choice of school. You continue to go on with life, not wanting or having to do anything with that cousin. You managed to successfully cut yourself out of many family events due to ‘school work and other activities,’ but still, there are times you can’t and must face him and pretend nothing happened even though all you want to do is throw up when you see him.

All of a sudden, in your second semester of college, you collapse – you can’t move and are rushed to the hospital due to a paralysis attack. No one has a clue as to what just happened and why. After many tests, the doctors say it is stress and sometimes the body shuts itself down. You know better.

I'm telling you this story because it's high time we acknowledge that the drama serials that are made in Pakistan and deal with sexual assault, rape, rapists and child molestation... are more often than not a load of rubbish.

Finally you confide in one of your female cousins, not really knowing what she will say or think. She encourages you to tell your parents and finally you do. That particular family has not lived with you for years now so it is easier. Your father immediately wants to go after him with a gun and everyone makes sure you realise this was not your fault. You feel a certain liberation; your mind feels light as if a huge burden has just been relieved; it has and now you just want to live your life, finally. You realise this is all you needed; to know that your family believed you and is willing to do whatever you need.

Why am I telling you this story?

I'm telling you this story because it's high time we acknowledge that the drama serials that are made in Pakistan and deal with sexual assault, rape, rapists and child molestation... are more often than not a load of rubbish.

From marital rape in Gul-e-Rana to Chup Raho and Sangat, and to the currently on-air Muqaabil, I am horrified at how sexual assault and rape is being sensationalised.

Also read: Romanticising rape is not okay. So why do Pakistani dramas do it anyway?

In Gul-e-Rana, the hero kidnaps the girl and marries her forcefully because she had said ‘no’ to his rishta. What follows is marital rape, but by the end of serial, the character is still presented as a hero despite being a rapist and wife beater.

In Muqaabil the victim marries the son of her rapist just to get back at him! Are you kidding me? Forget me and my story, but every rape/child molestation survivor I have spoken to would never even want to be in the same room as her attacker, never mind marrying his son and living in the same house.

Yes, they do want to confront their attacker and make sure they are a survivor and not a victim – that is very important, but they would never willingly live in the same house as them, forget marrying their son. The writer just made a mockery out of the ordeal of every child sexual abuse survivor.

Also read: In Sangat, the rapist is both hero and villain — and that's a problem

Let’s talk about Sangat now. For every victim of rape and sexual assault, Sangat was a slap in their face. You can NOT make a rapist the hero and that too by the victim’s own mother's hand! Knowing how it feels to keep quiet about this for years, had my parents tried to even hint that perhaps my cousin just ‘made a mistake,’ I’m not sure what I would have done.

I fail to understand what our writers, producers, directors and actors are trying to tell survivors of sexual assault. Are your ratings really worth pretending that sexual assault doesn’t exist or worse, that its scars are superficial?

I forgave my attacker only when he died in a horrific accident; and that too I did for myself, for my sanity and peace of mind. It was a decision I made.

I fail to understand what our writers, producers, directors and actors are trying to tell survivors of sexual assault. Are your ratings really worth pretending that sexual assault doesn’t exist or worse, that its scars are superficial?

The only shows that I've watched that are actually anything close to reality were Roag and Udaari. But even in Udaari, as brilliant as it was written and directed, and as brilliant a job Ahsan Khan did as ‘Pa Imtiaz’ even he made light of it by sharing memes regarding his roles as funny. He (rightly) won Best Actor for his role in Udaari at the LSAs this year and has highlighted this issue a lot more than any other actor, but that doesn’t excuse him from what he did. I do commend him however, for at least trying to highlight this issue even after Udaari ended.

Recent TV shows like Udaari have dealt with the issue of child sexual abuse with more sensitivity — and that's a start
Recent TV shows like Udaari have dealt with the issue of child sexual abuse with more sensitivity — and that's a start

Speaking of Udaari and awards, I felt another blow when Yasir Hussain made a joke about child molestation at the Hum Awards. After that, Ahmad Ali Butt took it further by saying “*mein tou toffiyan bhi kha leyta.” This, ladies and gentlemen, is what passes for humour in our country.

After this, barely any actors or actresses or the channel itself said anything against any of them. Even Hamza Ali Abbasi, who always has something to say about women’s clothes and item numbers, stayed quiet. Later, Noman Ejaz came on stage and compared women to female horses – yes, let that sink in. How these people are allowed in a public setting and given a platform to speak at is beyond my comprehension.

As a survivor and as a woman, I find these people and these industry standards demeaning and insulting.

The issue is that it’s not just writers or actors who are the problem. The directors, producers, and TV channels who chose to be part of these project are equally at fault. They are insulting victims for ratings and money. Rape and child abuse is now just a ratings gimmick and it sells like Shahrukh Khan sells in India.

Please stop selling rape for money and ratings.

It is the hottest thing on TV right now and everyone wants to get in for the money. Who actually cares about the issue and how to solve it? Again, aside from Udaari and Roag (thank you Farhat Ishtiaq and Faiza Iftekhar), I haven’t yet seen a serial trying to address the issue with the sensitivity it deserves and actually faulting the attacker and not the victim. My question is why? Why do you not think that the victims deserve respect? Why do the attackers get your benefit of the doubt and victims are made to suffer and at times be humiliated for what they went through? In a society where even talking about this was a taboo, now it is literally being sensationalised like the newest designer handbag or sunglasses.

Please stop selling rape for money and ratings.

You have set a precedent that is hard to reverse. Every single person involved in the making of Gul-e-Rana, Sangat, Muqaabil, and other serials like that and every single person who said nothing to Yasir Hussain and in fact defended him because “he didn’t mean it” should be ashamed of themselves.

If you can’t deal with the subject properly, go back to your saas and bahu scripts; just stop making fun of victims… I beg of you.

Sana Khan is a pen name to protect the author's identity.


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Comments (101) Closed

Ali May 09, 2017 10:06am

Very well written Sana, making us think from the other side...

Bilal May 09, 2017 10:06am

Yes my dear sister. Population of fools like Yasir Hussain are fast rising in Pakistan. My condolences with you.

sami May 09, 2017 10:11am

Eye opener- hats off to the great author nay a wonderful thinker- God Bless and my best wishes and may you live long as a beacon of light in this increasingly messed up jungle of two legged animals

asad May 09, 2017 10:11am

The darkest side of our society...

Sadaf Haider May 09, 2017 10:14am

Thank you for this writing this courageous article . I have been incredibly disturbed by dramas like Sangat , Baykhudi and Muqabil too and the way the victims suffering is marginalized while the Perpetrator's guilt is explored . Its time we considered the victims rights before the abusers . Abusers lose their rights the minute they start the abuse . Roag and Udaari addressed this issue with clarity and authenticity because the authors Faiza Iftikhar and Farhat Ishtiaq did their research instead writing about a difficult subject from the top of their heads and creating dangerously misleading fantasies like Zafar Meraj etc .. We cannot just blame the writers , production companies and channels cannot escape the blame for using such a sensitive topic to make money . Is nothing sacred ? Do no ones feelings count infront of the prophets Big Bang and Hum tv have made out of these dramas ? Where are their ethics ?

Subhan May 09, 2017 10:17am

Sad to hear about what happened to you. And yes, your opinion on this topic holds more credibility than the media you are pointing at. Best wishes for your future.

Ghinva Raza May 09, 2017 10:35am

il pray for you from the bottom of my heart girl.may it get easier for you.aameen

Snoow Ves May 09, 2017 10:36am

The article is very heart touching. It feels like its is your story and u r passing through the same events. Sana khan u r a good writer who truthfully share personal thoughts.

we can never ever finish evil from the world but we can fight with it and keep it at the lowest level. specially the child abuse cases destroys the personality of the person for the whole life.
I appreciate u share thoughts with us. Thanks for sharing the thoughts.

Khaled May 09, 2017 10:47am

Agreed, these TV channels churning drama are a load of rubbish and filth I have stooped watching them since long.

saqib May 09, 2017 11:05am

Many artists have condemned Yasir's remarks and he apologized for it before the bloggers could rant about it. Also, the drama sangat was criticized by majority of playwrights

MFMALIK May 09, 2017 11:11am

Well said Author!! "Rape and child abuse is now just a ratings gimmick and it sells like Shahrukh Khan sells in India." "In a society where even talking about this was a taboo, now it is literally being sensationalised like the newest designer handbag or sunglasses." "Please stop selling rape for money and ratings." Society ill when projected on TV should be taken in account with extra sensitivity. Its the art of script that uses metaphors and allusions to highlight the irony rather show them as it is. Thats why TV serials in 80's and 90's has last longing effect.

IRtaza Ur Rehman May 09, 2017 11:37am

That's very well put ! More power to you!

khanrizwanali May 09, 2017 11:42am

Hats off to you Sana Khan! I am amazed at the bravery you displayed at writing this article and at sharing your experiences (pen name or not). It is not easy to openly speak about such experiences. Also commendable is your family for the way they stood by your side.

As for our dramas, sadly they are a window into our society which is riddled with double standards and hypocrisy

LL May 09, 2017 11:45am

True Feelings..Rightly said. Someone atleast had the guts to speak up. Bravo !!!

kamran May 09, 2017 11:49am

Very well said Ms. Sana Khan. Our mainstream media and actors should act more responsibly. And hats off to you for your courage.

Tahir Abbas May 09, 2017 12:02pm

Sana Khan is right. To put glamour in a wrong doing instigates others to do the same.

ajay gupta May 09, 2017 12:08pm

while i agree with you, muqabil is different. Here the rapist is the victim's mother's trusted employee , dependent on her crumbs. it is clearly shown that he is mortified at the very thought that the girl he raped is his daughter in law, & that in a sense father and son would be physically involved with the same girl. he is not the stereotype evil, though of course what he did was unpardonable. He is more terrified than her, about being exposed, while for her it is a cold rage seething within since childhood. That she could not confide in her parents when she was older, however distant they may have been, is a concession to TRPs. muqabil does not trivialise rape, it just shows how the vicitm can never be normal afterwards, despite the rape staying a secret and the victim having a privileged background.

Krishankant May 09, 2017 12:09pm

Dear Sana, We appreciate the fact that the abuse (child or adult) gradually kills the victim: both mentally and physically. The best way to overcome is come out and speak to parents/confident ones. Ignoring the fact is just postponing the problem. Taking strict action, like police complaint must be encouraged. And of course, the molester is generally from our close relatives only...

Arshad Khan May 09, 2017 12:41pm

Very well written Sana Khan, and thanks for being brave to express yourself and share your feelings in such an eloquent way and pointing out an ever ignored menace in our society. I hope we learn!!!!

CH. K. A. Nye May 09, 2017 12:44pm

You are a very brave young lady to be able to narrate these terrible experiences and just how much your life was affected.

It is a travesty that our society passes off rape and child molestation as "chalta hai" and even jokes about it.

Kudos to you for bringing about an awareness which I hope jolts our society into reality.

Amina Qadeer May 09, 2017 12:47pm

I agree with every bit of the article!

Naeem May 09, 2017 12:51pm

Very true, i agree with you. The dramas shown are far from reality and these sensitive issues if highlighted then for God sake telecast them with their actual moralities. Good author, you speak-up very well.

Kashif May 09, 2017 01:01pm

Well, everything you have said is more than reality. But the point when you compare real life scenarios with dramas, as you have mentioned some of them like Sangat and Gul-e-Rana. You need to have remembered one thing that how much they try to portray the reality, they would still remain far away from the real world because after all, they are the word"drama."
Speaking about the narrative that you have just raised, the only suggestion that I could present is that its the time when we have to start sex education. As long as a mother does not tells his children about these topics, it won't help at all. We need to put these things in our children's mind and have to facilitate them even on these topics. So in future even if they face such scenarios, they don't hesitate to share their feelings. In a society like this in which we live, it is a bold step but it's need of the time and we have to take this step.

Salman Ahmad May 09, 2017 01:07pm

Well, why don't we make TV serials on entrepreneurship, SCI FI, & other so many topics. Why only love, marriage, rape, divorce etc. all depression. Inspire the gen X with some innovative ideas please. think out of the box.

Moazzam May 09, 2017 01:07pm

Well written, this isn't only your word #Sana these words are the voice of many ppl and I also endorse this "Please stop selling rape & lust for money " Stop promoting it, play a positive character building role in the society. Role media should be playing right now is to unite ppl together especially the youth for the betterment of Pakistan.

malik May 09, 2017 01:19pm

Speechless......We must be more sensitive to such issues and brave people like Sana must speak out. Its one of the many countless things going wrong in Pakistan.

Imtiaz Piracha May 09, 2017 01:27pm

Excellent and courage. A great service to victims and society. Our collective intellectual and value system needs a major overhauling.

nk May 09, 2017 01:33pm

I Salute You Sana Khan!!!. YOU ARE A COUAGEOUS SURVIVOR!. what a powerful way to express your own ordeal and so ably represent the SURVIVORS of these HEINOUS CRIMES against women and children!. the MIRROR your writing has created is exposing the ugly faces of those production houses,writers,directors, actors and tv stations who are exploiting this very serious issue for ratings and profits. this nation needs more women like you who can stand up to the wrongs being committed against them. i am sure your writing and fighting spirit will give a lot them COURAGE to speak up!. WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, GOD BLESS!!!.

a May 09, 2017 01:39pm

thank you for sharing, stay strong!

Shahram May 09, 2017 01:40pm

May God keep all our daughter safe from harm and evil of this cruel and sick world.

Sayed Atif May 09, 2017 02:02pm

Great Work!!! We need to realize first.

Shabbir May 09, 2017 02:08pm

My heartbeat commisseration remain with the writer and there should not be a second thought, victims deserve our care, attention and respect on top and the attackers must be punished severely.

Ashraf May 09, 2017 02:27pm

These shows should be banned

farrukh ejaz May 09, 2017 02:34pm

What an important issue highlighted by the author which has been made fun just for the lust of money. It is a big problem of the society which should be taken in negative sense instead of glamorizing it.

Donster May 09, 2017 02:49pm

Excellent writing! Udaari managed to highlight the issue better is not down to the writer but because of an NGO linked to the project. Our society is composed of sickening ideals which inhenrently rate women below men. Although young boys are as a victim as girls but numbers change dramatically when age brackets change. Unless the mindset changes dramas and television will continue to sell what sells. Consumers dictate! Women have to say no to oppression in all walks of life.

Aamer May 09, 2017 02:52pm

Very well written Sana Khan, but please be aware we all have our own ways of dealing with such situations.

I do think such subjects should not be shown on tv. If you look at Bollywood they made tones of movies on this matter but did it help. Even today thousand of girls get raped in India.

Muhammad Adnan May 09, 2017 03:13pm

its an emotional artcile; dramas are for entertainment and investors put money in to earn. Thtas a simple forumla; trying to find reality or sense of any thing that comes on TV is an over reaction.

In majority of the cases people tune in to dramas movies to get entertained

M ZEESHAN SIDDIQUI May 09, 2017 03:16pm

Extremely true.We should show good and positives things as they reflect directly to young generation's mind. As a father I have even restricted my children to watch TV as a precautionary step.

VLP May 09, 2017 03:19pm

What happened to you was horrible. You need to get passed your past and forgive yourself because it was not your fault. In your article, you seem to be trying that whole world should feel your pain. People joke about murders, about death, about biggest tragedies that took thousands of lives. But it doesn't mean that they don't care about anything.
And believe me no one takes inspiration from these dramas to get involved with the rapes. These are just for commercial purposes. Afterall showbiz is not all about reality. Nowadays... heros are the murderers, vampires, killers, stalkers and even rapists.

فرحت طاہر May 09, 2017 03:27pm

Making fame of victim is as cruel as a sin itself. Penalty for a man who forcefully does must b punished not to glamarize.I agree with you

Sully May 09, 2017 03:45pm

Who makes you an authority on sexual abuse 'Sana' Agree with all your feelings on pakistani dramas, but generalizing how every survivor feels is not your right Many people i have worked with do not feel the same way as you describe everyone does Have you spoken to a group of survivors in a cross talk session?

Hina May 09, 2017 04:24pm

I am not saying dat wow it is wonderful article, but i feel ashamed on this so called TV dramas who really dont care abt this and strongly agree the context you trying to convey.

Hafeez May 09, 2017 04:24pm

I strongly agree with writer. I didn't like sangat at all. I think drama writer is responsible for showing wrrong side of the picture by showing rapist as hero or the victim marries the rapist's son and stays in same house . That's rubbish. These plays don't show true feelings of victims.

Aasim May 09, 2017 04:29pm

very well written! Girls must be encouraged to reveal, if any such tragedy happens and yes these DRAMA are sowing the seeds for negative culture.

Sajid sajjad abbasi May 09, 2017 04:39pm

Excellent and chivalrous piece of writing. Highlighting much grievous issue of our closed society.

abid Mahmood May 09, 2017 04:45pm

brilliant. I wish the message falls on the years of those responsible for hurting the emotions of you and the like.

Saima May 09, 2017 05:24pm

Brilliantly written article. I have tremendous respect for you for sharing this. As a physician, I see countless women who are scarred by abuse. I remember the sensitive portrayal of something similar in Monsoon Wedding, where you feel the emotions of the the victim, because of the way this topic was handled.

S May 09, 2017 05:37pm

Excellent points. However, saas bahu dramay are also stories of abuse so let's not go there again and contribute to further normalising it.

NKhan May 09, 2017 05:38pm

Its not just the producers, the audience is just as bad. Go to YouTube and read the comments under the latest episode of Andaz-a-Sitam. Its both terrifying and disgusting how most of the comments are supporting the rapist played by Agha Ali and hope that he gets the girl in the end as opposed to the good guy played by Faris Shafi.

anis ahmad May 09, 2017 05:38pm

If you want to understand the culture of a country then TV drama usually depicts the best possible view. To an outsider it gives you a good glimpse of what the people really are in that country.

MARYAM May 09, 2017 06:07pm

Well said! Mindset is still the same, regardless of any profession, age , gender & background.

Krish May 09, 2017 06:24pm

Excellent thought provoking article - applies to people on both sides of the border. Time for us to be humans and sensitive..

La May 09, 2017 06:33pm

God bless you Sana Khan. Only people like you can bring real changes in pakistan. And about these stupid drama series, It's just the complex that Pakistani writers, actors and the whole industry face as they cannot show bold scenes in their series like Hollywood or any other entertainment industry do, due to censorship in Pakistan. So they find the topic of rape best suited for their series, to attract viewers.

Tahir Chaudhry May 09, 2017 06:46pm

This is reality. May God give you strength to continue with your life.

ShaUkat Shah May 09, 2017 07:26pm

Respected Surviver. Really a sad story, a listen for those who donot take care of their kids properly and trust every one. You problem perhaps is that you are searching roses in desert. These people are not on screens to help out people. Mostly they are items for sale.

Nuzhat May 09, 2017 07:42pm

Thank you for writing this. You are brave and did us all a service. They are ignorant and foolish and do not know better. We feel for you. Just ignore them as they do not matter.

Nba May 09, 2017 07:46pm

Dawn is right as usual

Nba May 09, 2017 07:47pm

@Ali exactly

Amir iqbal May 09, 2017 08:25pm

Amazing story & it just shows how morally bankrupt the shows on air really are.

WaseemWaseem May 09, 2017 08:30pm

Learning takes time. We just need as many as possible people highlighting this issue and its gravity until people start realizing it. Thank you Sana Khan for your contribution to improve vulnerable lives.

Syed Ahmed May 09, 2017 08:47pm

The reason these dramas are the way they are, the reason why abusers are glorified, the reason why no one tells, the reason why no one feel bad, the reason why the families aren't portrayed to be supported, is because these are the harsh realities of Pakistan. Dramas tend to mirror that image.

Concerned citizen May 09, 2017 08:51pm

You are 100% right - It is such a sensitive matter and must be dealth in that way ... I feel angered when our actors on one side try to highlight eveil in our society but on the other hand make fun of it .... I agree with Thur closing point .. if you want to do it - do it right otherwise stick to your regular script ... well done for writing this piece - very well done to you - best wishes ..

Jaleel U Rahman May 09, 2017 09:18pm

It is not only rape cases, watch how THREE TIMES TALAQ story are presented to further cement the stupidity of three times talaq( at the same moment). Rather than educating the public against this prctice used to exploit women.

Afzaal May 09, 2017 09:26pm

@Shabbir Yes the attackers should be appropriately punished but there is more that needs to be done and never comes to our minds mto try and uproot these offences. For example some of these abusers have themselves been the victim of these heinous crimes during their childhood before they start committing the same need psychological counselling along with or without punishment to help them deal with their own mindset. Five years imprisonment does not guarantee prevention and the abuser could reoffend lafter he is freed So so an ongoing psychological input is important not only to help him cope with his own issues but to monitor him. Sadly with our economical issues care of abuser is not a priority although an important aspect to consider so that these kind of offences could be minimised and lives prevented from beefing destroyed.

Afzaal May 09, 2017 09:41pm

@Sully You are wrong and sorry to say an insensitive person. Sana should be appreciated for highlighting her thoughts and I can tell you she knows better about child abuse and its consequences and the society's insensitive attitude to this issue. Take care!

Peace May 09, 2017 09:47pm

Very rightly pointed out my sister. They had made a mockery of victim by making a hero of attacker in the End.

Afzaal May 09, 2017 09:51pm

@Krish These are global issues not just in SA. The countries who are giving serious consideration in preventing them have significantly brought down the numbers. So hopefully we can also hope to deal with these one day.

Muhammad qureshi May 09, 2017 10:06pm

Very Well said SANA........its amazingly annoying how or when drama serials combat other stories that are unrelated to the same old saas bahu type series and just have no clue. Our drama serials are pathetic and so are the writers.....out of 1000's of drama that have come out in the last 5 - 10 years...udaari is the only one that is somewhat bearable. Excellent acting though! Others just need to go back to school

Miqbal rangoonwala May 10, 2017 12:04am

Some time back I stopped watching news from our tv and long time back I stop watching drams or pakistani tv as we are committed corrupt peoples

A.b.siddique May 10, 2017 01:05am

Excellent description of our drama serials responsible for social destruction and harming our family system norms. Solute to writer.

Jay Shah May 10, 2017 04:20am

I am fully with you Sana. I have watched Sangat.... Looks like I wasted my time. TV plays should identify society issues and discourage bad characters.

Imran May 10, 2017 04:42am

Very well spoken and bringing all the celebrities to face the real life is great effort and channels need to handle this more seriously then ever before...Bravo

JA-Australia May 10, 2017 04:53am

I was shocked and disgusted when I saw a Pakistani TV drama back in 2011 or 2012 or 2013 -- forget the name -- where a 40 year old man rapes his 12 year old maid and gets away with it. The girl gets pregnant and commits suicide, but her story is an insignificant side plot and shrugged off without comment. It was a show where a criminal stalks and finally abducts a girl whom he lusts after and then marries her after getting her pregnant.

Adil May 10, 2017 07:05am

They write rubbish that sells....no one cares what they write about or whst the ramifications might be.

Miqbal rangoonwala May 10, 2017 08:02am

We are committed corrupt criminal people

Ajaya K Dutt May 10, 2017 08:24am

My most respectful admiration for you. You are the the most shining hope not just for Pakistan, but for whole sub-continent.

Thanks to you for your courage, self awareness and self respect.

Sundas May 10, 2017 08:25am

Each and every word u wrote is true. now its the new topic on our tv channels just to get the ratings.

Sarah May 10, 2017 10:29am

What is happening in Pakistan, making me surprise, Pakistani drama's once very powerful in story we used to see our own culutre in it but now making us disappoint as well as ashmed i saw one of Hum tv channel drama i forgot the name they were showing the yellow marigold decorated all over in a shadi house now tell me Is it belongs to Pakistan? Every single person knows that these yellow flowers use in cross border not in Pakistan feeling really sad because we here in UK if anyone says same country i said no we are different culture different people different religion our own identity thats what the two nation theory how we become so complex and insecure about our culture? We feel it most when living outside of Pakistan and now media is also presenting their culture in our television what our kids going to learn about still we have time to change our selves

FARA May 10, 2017 11:05am

Finally someone broke the ice! & You forgot to mention drama baykhudi (ary digital).

N.A Mirza May 10, 2017 11:42am

evey parent should teach their kid to avoid any kind of abuse. i suggest the article "Protecting & Empowering Your Infant to Toddler" (google to find the article) esp. coloring pages have the summary of the article.

Sadaf Hassan May 10, 2017 12:30pm

I have to say that ARY probably has the worst dramas. They are just into money. Beykhudi, Muqabil, Waada are some of the few examples of rubbish it churns just to make money. The sad part is that everyone involved in making these dramas are from newer generations who are supposed to have more exposure and education, for example people like Fahad Mustafa are producing such dramas.

Faani May 10, 2017 01:23pm

Very well said sister. I absolutely agree with everything that you have mentioned. You are the real hero. I Salute your courage. Showing the true ugly face of these incidents is Not as profitable as projecting villains as heroes in our dramas. Pakistani media now a days is everything but Pakistani. The media is sexualizing females in any way possible. The evolution of our media into Moral-less companies which are only Interested in money. And it started in the 80s and 90s in our movies, then our Stage dramas were attacked and now the disease has spread to our TV dramas. The higher management of our TV channels and all these immoral cheap artists are responsible for what is being displayed. These artists don't have the character and courage to say "No" to What is Religiously, Culturally and Morally Wrong, which they are required to act on screen. They just want Money and Screen Time in whatever cost it may be! And the Shameless Censor board (The Govt) is allowing all this to happen.

waqar ahmed May 10, 2017 02:05pm

I really conflicts about our pakintanii dramas. But how could matter that we avoid these less behaved Words Specially that time when we are in forward direction like that in Movies Songs also in dramas. took an action to neglect these rapid usefull scripts to make sure about the young generation.

JS May 11, 2017 07:30am

Stay blessed, strong Woman!

For you, Rumi wrote,

Woman is the ray of God, She is creative; you may say she is not created.

Muhammad Jamal Maqsood May 11, 2017 09:37am

You are a brave lady Sana - hats off. I pray may you be bestowed with courage and happiness. Wishing you a smooth sailing ahead.

Danish May 11, 2017 11:59am

You are a strong person. I appreciate that you wrote and contributed towards the cause. We need women like you, who are resilient and know how to fight back.

Bari Abro May 11, 2017 01:36pm

Sana has taken out time to discuss the stark insensitivity of the TV dramas towards a very sensitive issue of our society. Actually, the problem is, the elite of our society specially related to media is almost defunct of intellectual approach towards social issues of any type, Mostly Pakistani actors are without sound educational background in social sciences, hence they lack any sanity whatsoever, they think by speaking good Urdu & English they are very educated. I would use the word crap for most of them. There only driving force is money and hence rating for long term career in industry. We cannot foresee any hope of better approach towards such issues. However, on the contrary Turkish drama industry depicts situations and issues in a more better way, our industry has a lot to learn from them but alas only if they want to...

Shahzad May 11, 2017 07:21pm

Good job Sana - This is all that goes like soap operas that the families watch and talk about in several gatherings. Subjects may be true, but depiction is lamentable. I forgot the name, but there was another drama serial where the hero assaults his wife's young sister.

Anyway, you did a nice work. Thanks

Nusrat May 12, 2017 02:39am

It's not just rape!! We as a nation are completely insensitive to any such thing which has some thing to do with human emotions. When our media wouldn't stop objectifying women,there is no way we can have sensible discourse on serious issues on these forums!.Rape is not just physical violence it's a powerful tool to break some and shred them in to pieces by the very depth of soul, so media should stop glorifying this hineous crime.

Ijaz Ahmad May 12, 2017 05:58am

Superbly written article to highlight this delicate issue. It really hurts badly to the victims and we should condemn such incidents in a professional way.

Hassan May 12, 2017 08:46am

This is very well written and it is true that the extent of damage and hurt caused by any such event can only be understood and felt by someone who goes through it.... it is true that the media takes these serious matters and makes a mockery out of it. However, I think one important point is that it still raises awareness and highlights a very real and existing cancer in our society.

Kiran May 12, 2017 11:39am

Sad to hear about you. But i don't agree with what u have written. The story of Muqaabil is going really well. She was not a normal girl. She didn't engage her self in other activities and for her life was very much limited to one room. In muqaabil they also have acknowledge the issue of parents attention towards their children. For a girl like that marrying his son was not that major issue i think.

Syeda Bushra Hammad May 12, 2017 11:52am

Its really an eye opener. People can start thinking other way round.

SHARIM May 13, 2017 08:13am

Ms. Sana Khan pointed great points, these are the flaws in our society. We take everything in sense of business, to keep rating high channels just do business and forget the original cause n message to delivered society. And in result they motivate criminals and give negative impact to victims. Hatts Off for Ms. Sana, u throghly go to each drama and then give conclusions on reality.

Anon May 13, 2017 10:16am

@Sarah Don't fight the truth.

Huma May 13, 2017 09:40pm

Thank you for writing. Thank you Dawn for the platform. Our media persons are so naive and so uneducated about 'social manners'. I fail to understand WHY. Why we do not have actors at least to look upto? After Udaari, Ahsan still didn't understand why his pic shared from Udari on twitter was wrong! They joke of dwarfs.. women.. WHY? Have they not been exposed to outside world? Do they only learn drinking and womanizing from west- and nothing about social responsibilities? Equality? Respect? Self Grooming?

nazish ali May 14, 2017 07:11am

Excellent! , very well written each and every point is described from other side of the bank. In our society these polluted mind destroyed many lives and great mind.

Hasan May 14, 2017 01:49pm

OMG! Comments are better than this boring article.

Hasan May 14, 2017 01:54pm

I think most comments are posted by writer herself.

imran May 15, 2017 03:54pm

Very well said...

Imran May 16, 2017 05:44pm