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5 classic Pakistani songs that send confusing messages about consent

5 classic Pakistani songs that send confusing messages about consent

Are these songs our very own 'Blurred Lines'? They seem to suggest that no means yes and that's not cool
Updated 21 Jan, 2016

Some of last year's big hits like Drake’s 'Hotline Bling' and 'Hold On (We’re going home)' got us wondering if we'll ever be able to break free of ‘good-girl’ ‘bad-girl’ stereotypes in pop culture.

Not too long ago Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' caused controversy too as the song reinforced misconceptions about consent: lyrics like 'I know you want it' suggested that 'no' might actually mean 'yes.'

Just harmless fun? Not really. Played on repeat, these songs are internalised by us, seeping into our subconscious.

And what about Bollywood tunes and Pakistani songs? We went back to our old favourites to listen closely, and its turns out that many of our own tracks broadcast the troubling message that violating personal space is ok, and that consent is optional.

1) Babia or Bibi by Sajjad Ali

Before you fly into rage let me just say this: I think Sajjad Ali is a great singer, but that doesn’t mean his songs can’t be critiqued by a fan who learnt all his songs by heart and copied his hairdo too.

Listening to 'Babia' the other day, I realised that although the song was upbeat and made me want to dance along... why is this person not taking his beloved's will into account? The lyrics are:

Kisi k kehne me na ana

Main he tou hon tera deewana

Saray jahan ko hai batana O bibi O bibi

Teri marzi nahi chalni o

Meri gal kyun nahi sunti

The chorus is the perfect profile of an overbearing, slightly manipulative and very jealous lover. He wants to be the only one you love, which is ok, but then he says 'You have no choice in the matter' (Teri marzi nahi chalni o) which is definitely creepy, not cute.

Thankfully, Sajjad is past those times now and most of his songs appear to be about um, consensual relationships. Whew!

2) Main Na Manon Haar by Awaaz

Remember the song which was perfect for mehndis? The composition and video were perfect for a dance number back then, but even a song as memorable as 'Main Na Manon Haar' by Awaaz made me realise that ‘no means no’ isn't easily understood.

The lines go like this:

Main na manon haar

Sajna, dil na manay haar

Tou chahay jis raah pe jana main bhi jaon saath

Tou chahay gi haath churana

Main na choron haath

Dunya se ghabrana kya

Pyar karay hoye hoye waah waah

Dil mera pehchana kya

De kar haath churana kya

The lyrics very blatantly say that this lover (read: stalker) will follow his love wherever she goes and if she tries to let go of his hand, he’ll hold tight to it. Time to get that thinking cap on. It further says that once you have given someone your hand, i.e. consent to someone, you can’t decide to say no in the future.

The video also shows that good guy Haroon saved the day by almost rescuing the girl who is on her way to a forced marriage. Little does she realise that she's in a lose-lose situation anyway.

3) Rangein by Ali Zafar

Disclaimer: love the tune, love the video. But it contains a line which would make any woman put her guard up.

Rangeen hai tou rangon se bhi ziada

Shoq lagti ho reh k bhi sada

Le jayen ge tujh ko utha k

Tere bina lagay na mora jiya

I can't help but feel that the idea of 'taking a girl away' (Le jayen ge tujh ko utha k) here isn't the same things as 'sweeping her off her feet.' Guys, important note: abduction isn't the best way to win a woman's heart!

However Ali's later songs don't have a creep vibe in them and we are quite thankful for that.

4) Saali by Shehzad Roy:

It's absolutely impossible to forget this song because it creatively incorporated the word 'saali' which means sister-in-law... and a few other things.

Given that there are already too many lines about 'saalis' in our society with negative connotations like the disturbing one 'saali, adhi ghar wali', this song should've turned that concept on its head but it didn't. Instead, we're reminded of how the pursuer —er, lover — does not respect his beloved's personal space and sense of autonomy.

Saali tou maani nahi

Kabhi tou manay gi

Saali pehchaani nahi

Kabhi tou janay gi

Ban k anjaani karay manmaani

Aur ye manmaani hai teri nadaani

Okay, since when did manmaani (following your own heart) make a woman a fool? And second, if the said saali does not consent to your advances, let her be, stop following her around, jeez. Shahzad has sung many songs about the idea of unrequited love, and yes, we feel his pain, but this isn't going to help matters much. At least the singer is now sticking to social causes so hopefully there won't be any other man stalking someone's saali in the future.

5) Eik Baar Chalay Aao by Saleem Javed:

This one is by far the most interesting of them all. Sung by Mehdi Hasan earlier, this song has some lines from the original ghazal and the best part? It promotes the idea of personal space!

Although if some guy was to declare his feelings in the same fashion Saleem Javed did, girls might back away slowly but remember, two to three decades ago, this was the ultimate cool.

Eik baar chalay aao

Phir aa kay chalay jana

Phir tum ko bulaye tou

Tum shauq se mat ana

These lyrics convey what personal space is and do so without being overtly creepy. The courter starts off with requesting his love interest to meet him once, and if she doesn't feel comfortable, she can refuse to give him the time of the day next time and he'll accept her decision.

Admittedly, the latter half of the ghazal does talk about the lover swooning over him but that has nothing to do with him thinking ''she'll come around some day'' like saali nor does it say that ''I won't let go of your hand if you have held mine'' — take note, gentlemen.

Even today, I'd bob my head to these songs (guilty as charged!) if they're ever aired on TV or I hear them on the radio because we grew up listening and dancing to them. I am sure many were inspired by Main Na Manon Haar but did we ever consider that we were perpetrating a culture of such uncomfortable lyrics becoming the norm?

At face value, they might seem very harmless but with a little nuance, these lines tell the listeners that it is okay to stalk girls if you like them, it is acceptable to violate their personal space and if a girl says yes once, she can never take it back.

Comments

waleed KARACHI Jan 21, 2016 02:42pm
hahahahhahahah
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PostMan Jan 21, 2016 03:06pm
Umm. No. I think you just want to fit 'consent' in to it. Ain't there.
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Zeeshan Jan 21, 2016 03:54pm
hahahaha! Honestly, never thought like this about these songs. Its true these songs are apparently harmless but these represent the cultural norms and how we take certain things (and women) for granted. Enjoyed the article. Well written.
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S. Khan Jan 21, 2016 04:33pm
Hilarious !
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Apache Jan 21, 2016 04:50pm
Still way better than useless songs being made these days with no lyrics and tone
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Muhammad Umer Jan 21, 2016 04:53pm
Are these songs now classic? Am I too old now?
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Zeeshan Malik Jan 21, 2016 05:13pm
Lol good read :) These are innocent ones if you compare it with what Bollywood is throwing our way and we are unconsciously humming them
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Ahmed Jan 21, 2016 05:48pm
Just seems that the author is trying to make an issue out of nothing
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Saba Jan 21, 2016 07:11pm
Trying to make something out of nothing. Hilarious.
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Hamaad Jan 21, 2016 07:15pm
Agree with author. The lyrics are creepy and crude.
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Umer Jan 21, 2016 08:06pm
Dude, it's all about interpretation , how you perceive and understand the lyrics meanings, one interpretation of " ek bar chullay aoo phir as ker chullay Jana " would be that lover is so keen to have a one glimpse of beloved and so negotiating a visit as come this time but may not come next .. Same goes for all other songs
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Irfan_Sydney Jan 21, 2016 08:35pm
This is a very old trend. If one remembers a very old song "Fire" by Pointer sisters then he/she would know that it has been a common trend in the west as well to show that woman 's no is not a no, I also truly believe this is wrong. No is No. . Here are the lyrics of the Fire song by Pointer sisters. I'm ridin' in your car, you turn on the radio You're pullin' me close, I just say no I say I don't like it, but you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh, fire Late at night, you're takin' me home You say you wanna stay, I say I wanna be alone I say I don't love you, but you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh, fire
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Zia Jan 21, 2016 09:11pm
Most of these lyrics simply mean that a guy is courting a girl. Do you want this to end? Also, some girls like guys taking the initiative so some courtship should be allowed as long as the guy does not become Shahrukh in Darr.
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Chitvan Jan 21, 2016 09:14pm
Finally a subcontinental news paper is highlighting this issue of gross and creepy lyrics of Hindi/Urdu/Punjabi songs many of which are actually disrespectful to women.
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Pakistani Jan 21, 2016 09:30pm
Great article. It's true, there are people out there who soak up these messages and act like the creepiest stalkers, thinking they're being romantic. Remember boys, taking a 'no' gracefully is much more attractive :)
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Fahad Jan 21, 2016 11:03pm
Very well highlighted, I laughed a lot in reading the article but then though about it, it really has affected our sub consciousness its like subliminal messages and you can check the generation that has heard these songs and you would find similarity in their thinking and these lyrics. Thankfully Pakistani pop has gone away with these messages.
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Hasan Jan 22, 2016 12:30am
How could you have missed the worst of them all - Billo
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Waqas Jan 22, 2016 12:51am
I disagree with the author. We need to understand the perspective in context of local culture and norms for these songs! Unlike West, women do not confess love and are not at all vocal of their feelings. Infact - they like pampering and assertion of authority which is depicted by these songs - and masses loved these songs which proved this fact.
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HUMA Jan 22, 2016 07:22am
lol, 'yes'. 'BUT' while we are at it, lets also promote buying original track songs from our singers. India's economy earns huge from bollywood. Let's make our economy grow too.
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Sundus Jan 22, 2016 09:19am
I am a woman, a very independent woman, and in no way find these lyrics encroaching my space. I request the author to chill. Everything is not about sexism.
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Omair Jan 22, 2016 09:47am
:D nice one
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Harish Motwani Jan 22, 2016 10:55am
Good article ! I have always felt that Hindi songs and movies present a picture that stalking / harassing girls is cool. The censor should look to this aspect too.
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Ali Jan 22, 2016 11:14am
Harmless innuendos being blown out of proportion throughout the article. The levels of personal space and perseverance vary from person to person and the lyrics of these songs neither glorify nor vilify either the guys' perseverance or the girls' rights. Sometimes the face value is the only value, with no undertones and subterfuges between the lines. Let's learn to put our feet up, relax and simply enjoy the songs instead of finding satanic messages within the lyrics.
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Afsana Jan 22, 2016 03:34pm
Yes...those songs were amazing.... We have to make songs like that
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Mohsin Jan 22, 2016 03:37pm
I used to think that only Bollywood movies, like Pakistani songs in this case, were guilty of perpetuating the idea of forced love interests. I watched the original Star Wars recently and realized that the movie very vividly promotes the same. The way Han Solo approached Princess Leia and ultimately succeeded in kissing her (episode 5) was very disturbing for me. Thankfully I haven't seen any such thing in recent Hollywood movies.
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Maria Jan 22, 2016 04:14pm
@Sundus you cant speak for all women when you say this.
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Kiran Akhtar Jan 22, 2016 04:40pm
You do make a good point. Although I never thought of these songs in that context but in the current scenario, it will be really helpful if the popular singers and celebs would help the scenarios by making music and sending out message which actually help create awareness.
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S.H.Moulana Jan 23, 2016 12:05am
'Bibi' is just carbon copy of the Algerian born French singer Cheb Khaled's hit song 'Didi'. I would rate 'Didi' which was released years ahead as much superior presentation in every way. I normally fancy imitations.
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PAK Jan 24, 2016 10:56am
The writer seems to be never in real love. (Ishq), these songs are not demeaning to women or confusing
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FY. Jan 25, 2016 02:22pm
Well, if this is meant as satire and a fun-read... sure, way to go. But, if you're really aiming for social critique then you're not just looking but fabricating misogyny into what's essentially poetry. Much worse examples out there. But then again it is poetry; it's hardly ever supposed to be 'politically correct!"
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