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Actor Rubina Ashraf knows things are changing when it comes to how society treats young women, especially when it comes to getting married. She says there’s now a need to change how we treat the mental health challenges that accompany pregnancy and childbirth.

Appearing on Thursday’s episode of Good Morning Pakistan, where she said pregnancy blues and postpartum depression were “so real” and needed to be properly addressed by those around the mother-to-be.

One of the guests on the show, Airaas, who got married at 17 and had three kids “without much of a gap” said it was hard for young women to adjust in a new home because every bit of criticism hits harder when they aren’t mature enough to handle it.

She said this was especially true when women are pregnant. “Because at that point, even the tiniest thing someone says sounds very harsh to you, regardless of whether it was that harsh or not.”

She said wisdom comes with age and without it such words can be traumatic, even if they were never intended to be.

Ashraf responded to this by saying society still needed to learn a thing or two about pregnancy instead of teaching the same outdated lessons to the next generation of mothers.

“Earlier, there was no concept of [pregnancy blues and postpartum depression], people would just say, ‘So what? We had children too.’”

The actor said we didn’t know what past generations had to endure and how they were treated by their loved ones during pregnancy, but nowadays people need to understand that when a woman is pregnant, she feels that her entire life is changing.

“It’s a happy feeling, sure, but it’s an anxiety also.”

At this crucial stage, Ashraf said, a girl who feels she has to face these challenges alone can go into a “really bad state of depression”.

“Here, I feel the people around you, your in-laws and especially your husband, they should have more compassion,” the actor said.

She also clarified that this wasn’t limited to just pregnancy, because raising a child was a unique challenge too, especially for a first-time mother.

Host Nida Yasir said handling a child was no easy task, even for someone with experience, to which Ashraf agreed that it wasn’t and said nobody was telling new mothers that it’s okay not to be able to do all of it instinctively.

Yasir quipped that it was important for young women to get degrees and start their careers before getting married because it makes them “rough, tough” and better prepares them for the pressures of life ahead.

Ashraf is not the first Pakistan celebrity to talk about how pregnancy and childbirth can affect a woman’s mental health, Naimal Khawar, Sarwat Gilani and Zara Noor Abbas have all spoken openly about their own struggles with postpartum depression.

Each described the mental and physical toll, something partners and families can — and absolutely should — help new mothers with.