Meesha Shafi’s Khilnay Ko isn’t an album — it’s an experience

When I got the invite for the private screening of Meesha Shafi’s new album KhilnayKo, I knew it was going to be more than a music album but what unfolded the night of the screening was something I wasn’t quite ready for. In Sarmad Khoosat’s own words, “It wasn’t an album — it was an experience”.

The event, held at the private lounge of Cue Cinemas, was a houseful, which spokevolumes about Meesha’s fame, despite being away for so long. The arts fraternity ofLahore showed up in full support and by the end of the event, the hall was filled withnothing but absolute awe of Meesha’s strength as an artist. Among the many guestsand supporters were Faris Shafi (of course), Ammara Hikmat, Kamiar Rokni and Khoosat.

The screening opened with visuals of Lahore’s streets and Meesha trying to remembersomething. The camera showed both Lahore in its rawest element and Meeshaanswering the press, often finding herself alone. The lyrics of the opening number like“ek lambi raat thi aur akeli main mere saath thi [it was a long night, and I was alone with myself]” told a very haunting tale of her experiences.

Six of the 11 songs on the album were screened during the event, yet more than a series of songs, it felt like a very deep short film with powerful cinematography and visuals. Meesha stood out as a strong protagonist narrating her tale of deep personal pain and struggle.

In the album, she spoke about being on her own and having limited friends in the face of adversity, which was very contrary to the outpouring of support at the screening. Perhaps a reminder of how our support systems shrink in times of need, and multiply during the good and celebratory times but that’s probably the greatest irony of life.

Meesha’s musical talent is no surprise to anyone, but this album was a representationof her sheer talent as a performer on screen as well. The album is Meesha’s odyssey, arepresentation of her vulnerability, her pain and broken heart, which she turned into art so brilliantly in collaboration with director Awais Gohar.

The album is co-produced by Abdullah Siddiqui, with contributions from Rohail Hyatt and Mahmood Rahman.

The last number of the screening was a very vulnerable representation of actual videofootage from Meesha’s childhood, showing memorable moments with her mother, Saba Hameed and brother Faris with a few shots of her children, now being raised inCanada — illustrative of how regardless of where and what time you grow up in,your beautiful memories are very similar because what matters is cherished momentswith family irrespective of space and time.

Right after the screening, Khoosat hosted a small panel discussion with the star of the evening, Meesha, the director and co-producer. When Khoosat asked Meesha how she decided to create this work of art, she replied that when it’s the darkest, one is left with no choice but to decide to go up. “I started writing this album for my own health; to be able to process my own emotions and be able to express myself and gradually it [began] forming the shape of numbers and an album. I realised that thelyrics were too philosophical and needed a visual representation — then I found thesetwo angels by my side who helped me to turn it into what it looks like today,” she saidtalking about Gohar and Siddiqui.

For Meesha, writing these songs was like journaling. “It started off as atherapeutic exercise and the fact that I was doing it in Urdu really supported mebecause when you are writing poetry, the expression is never straightforward, and Urdu is a very superior language that gives you expression. The simplicity of the Urdulanguage cannot be matched. It can indeed be translated into English, but it doesn’tcome across the way it [should],” she explained.

Gohar said that for him it was huge that Meesha trusted him with a projectthat was so personal to her. “We all have these emotions: this is every human’s story. When she first sent me the tracks, it took me a few days to process them,” he said. “We had detailed conversations on her process of writing them — what she was feeling — and then I began thinking of how to do justice to the tale.”

During the conversation, Siddiqui said there was no question of how people would feel. “This work is very unfiltered and that’s very liberating. I’d suggest everyone go home and listen to it in isolation so they understand the whole story,” hesaid, adding that his favourite songs weren’t shared at the screening.

In his parting note, Khoosat thanked everyone for showing up but also urgedthem to go home, spend some time with themselves and listen to the album in solitude to truly experience it.

There are many musical albums that release, make the rounds and are soon forgotten, but this one is a profound piece of art that will be remembered for itsvulnerability, strength, melancholy and honesty. The album releases today (Friday).