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Actor Sarwat Gilani made an appearance on the show Good Morning Pakistan on Tuesday to talk about her experiences with postpartum depression. She recounted how the disorder caused her severe distress and how her husband’s support, coupled with therapy helped her work through the condition.

The actor was joined on the show by Dr Ayesha Uqaily, a consultant psychiatrist, and TV personalities Malaika Farooq and Sonya Sundus. She started by highlighting how people are often very concerned and caring when it comes to visible pain and bruises, but can’t seem to grasp that mental disorders need the same kind of attention.

Saying that just because something isn’t visible, doesn’t mean it’s not there, Gilani said people often don’t even realise what’s happening to themselves, much less what’s happening to others. She said a lot of “strong and capable women” go through this disorder.

The actor said she didn’t suffer from postpartum depression in the aftermath of her first two deliveries and only realised she had developed the condition when she was unable to bond with her third child. She said anyone could go through what she had and that anxiety and panic attacks were common symptoms.

When probed further by host Nida Yasir, she said these panic attacks can present as shortness of breath, cold sweats, an inability to make the smallest decisions and overthinking with overwhelmingly negative thoughts. She said women need support at this time from people around them, as “depression only festers in silence”.

Recounting her own experience, Gilani said she had her husband — a surgeon — by her side to tell her everything was going to be okay. After he calmed her down, she said she had to learn to accept her depressive thoughts, and live with them. That, she said, took “a lot of therapy”.

When questioned on medications, the actor said antidepressants take some time to come into full effect within the body, in which time a depressed person can pose a danger to themselves and others, which is why therapy is usually a safer, more effective choice. She also highlighted the need to seek professional help in the first place because a lot of the thoughts and impulses women experience during postpartum depression are likely to be misunderstood by people who aren’t equipped with the right knowledge.

Gilani said she had received a lot of love from women who had tuned into a previous episode of the programme where she touched upon this issue and advised women to look such things up before they have kids. She also told people to take note of symptoms in themselves and in people around them and seek professional help should these symptoms present.

Dr Uqaily added an important distinction between baby blues and postpartum depression to the discussion. She said it was natural and fairly common for new mothers to be irritable and experience mood swings up to two weeks after childbirth because of inherent hormonal imbalances. She said eight out of every 10 women experience baby blues and really just need love and support from their families in this time. If this continues past two weeks, she said, depression may be taking root and they should see a psychiatrist immediately to begin treatment.

The doctor said postpartum depression can result in new mothers losing interest in their lives and failing to bond with their babies. This, she said, means they can’t care for their child, which makes them feel like they’re bad mothers. She said mothers need to realise these thoughts and feelings stem from a disorder and aren’t a reflection of them as people; they are the result of hormonal and chemical imbalances in their brains.

On prevention, Dr Uquaily said postpartum depression was not completely preventable, but steps could be taken to decrease the likelihood of the condition. She said expectant and new mothers needed to sleep well, eat a balanced diet and surround themselves with positive, healthy relationships. She said pregnant women also needed some “me time” alone by themselves.

She said men can also experience depression as new fathers, largely from social rather than hormonal causes. New fathers, she said, often experience social isolation and a lack of proper rest; this can adversely impact their mental health and they too, should turn to therapy to get better.