So the month of Ramazan is coming to a close and Muslims all over the world have gotten down to planning their Eid celebrations.
In the holy month, our patience is tested for 30 days... but the trials and tribulations don't end on Eid; you have to sit through the annual family lunch and Lord knows there ain't no bigger feat than getting through that without chewing someone's head off.
Here's some people you're bound to bump into on Eid:
1) The angrez hipster cousin from abroad
You know the one who's on his phone all afternoon and whispers into your ear right after lunch, "Like, can we ditch this joint and go smoke some hookah, bro?"
2) The rishta aunty
Match-makers, like journalists, don't take the day off on Eid.
3) The aunty who wants you to be stuffed
She's scared the food might go to waste. "Beta, aur khao!"
4) The kanjoos uncle who still only gives you Rs50 as Eidi
He makes a big show about giving you Eidi and when you open the gaudy floral envelope, there's less than a hundred bucks in there.
Resist the urge to put salt in his chai instead of sugar, you're better than that.
5) The uncle you always go say salam to because he gives you a lot of Eidi
Hey, a girl's gotta eat.
6) The fashionable sister-in-law who's always on trend
While you're wearing a Khaadi kameez, the same as two other family friends who stopped by, your bhabi is getting compliments left, right and center about her hot off the runway Elan Eid outfit.
7) The 12-year-old cousin who's not sure who to sit with
Poor child is stuck in limbo. He's not quite old enough to sip tea with the adults or gossip with the teenagers but not really young like the rest of the kids running around playing baraf paani. We've all been there kid.
8) The aunty who always say 'haye kitni bari hogayi ho?'
Like there's any other option available.
9) The family who shows up unannounced
You've sat down at the dinner table after a long day of meet and greets and they pop on over hoping it'll be a pleasant surprise.
10) The aunty who boasts about her charity work
We weren't aware charity was a competition but she makes sure that if it were, she'd be a front-runner.