Images

01 Dec, 2016

Last night Pakistan's information ministry released notes from Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's very first telephonic conversation with America's President Elect Donald Trump.

The notes reveal Donald Trump was effusive in his praise for Nawaz Sharif, calling him a “terrific guy”. At one point Donald Trump also admitted that in conversing with Sharif he felt he was "talking to a person I have known for a long time”.

Donald Trump and Nawaz Sharif have never met.

And yet, they seem pretty darn close already.

So what's next on the agenda for these best buds?

We think we know what they'll do next...

1) Swap hair stories

Sharif and Trump desperately trying to convince people they have real locks.
Sharif and Trump desperately trying to convince people they have real locks.

From the looks of their exchange, not even a hair's breadth separates Nawaz Sharif from Donald Trump. It only follows that the first thing these dudebros will swap notes on is their hair.

After all, both have had their share of hair woes, even if these traumas are entirely different in nature: reports allege Nawaz Sharif is on a perpetual quest to thicken his scant locks via surgical strikes and Donald Trump seeks to convince a skeptical public that his crowning glory is in fact real.

We can imagine hours of scintillating conversation between the two based on hair stories alone. There's so much ground to cover, like favourite barbers, favoured hair oils... maybe Sharif can teach Trump some desi totkas too.

Bliss.

2) Co-author a memoir titled 'How to Run a Kleptocracy (And Get Away With It)'

Or maybe they should go for a Netflix series instead, pretty sure the memoir won't be coherent...?
Or maybe they should go for a Netflix series instead, pretty sure the memoir won't be coherent...?

Never before have two friends been so alike in their special interests.

In the days after the election, Trump sought ways to maintain his business empire while in office. Across the globe Nawaz Sharif and his family seek to protect their own assets from scrutiny.

Together they'd pen the perfect self-help book for any billionaire who also wants to take a stab at running a country.

3) Shop for luxury goods

Sharif's Louis Moinet and Trump's Brioni suits have made more headlines than Kimmy K.
Sharif's Louis Moinet and Trump's Brioni suits have made more headlines than Kimmy K.

Donald Trump has been known to buy $2,000 suits, sail in fully loaded yachts and fly in private planes.

Nawaz Sharif has been known to shell out the big bucks too: recent reports claimed his watch costs $4.6 million.

We all know that friends who shop together drop together -- so here's hoping Trump and Sharif break out their credit cards and go crazy.

Sure, Sharif might have to trade Bond Street for Fifth Avenue. But who's complaining?

4) Boast about their daughters

Like father like daughter is fitting in this context.
Like father like daughter is fitting in this context.

Trump and Sharif have something else in common: exceptionally strong-willed daughters i.e. Ivanka Trump and Maryam Nawaz respectively.

We all know parents love to highlight their offspring's achievements. This is just one more way this dynamic duo could pass their time.

5) Moan about the media

"Y U DO DIS MEDIA?" ask both heads of state.
"Y U DO DIS MEDIA?" ask both heads of state.

Both Donald Trump and Nawaz Sharif have had an uneasy relationship with the media recently.

Trump has called out major American news channels and newspapers for bias and "bad reporting."

Sharif and the PML-N have had their fair share of skirmishes with the Pakistani media too, clashing on free speech and coverage of civil-military relations.

What better way for two heads of state to blow off steam than to indulge in a little light roasting of the media? They've earned it, don't you think?

6) Build bridges (metaphorically AND literally)

Sharif is good with his hands... and Trump... well, he's got stamina... for heavy building.
Sharif is good with his hands... and Trump... well, he's got stamina... for heavy building.

Nawaz Sharif and the PML-N government like to build stuff. Thanks to their penchant for construction, we Pakistanis - or Lahoris at the very least - have more bridges, signal-free corridors, underpasses and metro stations than we possibly need.

Donald Trump likes to build stuff too. Stuff like hotels and casinos. In fact, he's called for more investment into America's roads and bridges.

With a shared love for construction to unite them, there's little doubt these two pals will 'cement' their relationship through 'towering' achievements.

Who knows, a Trump golf course in Raiwind might be just what US-Pak relations needs.


Disclaimer: this article is categorised as humour/satire. Its content is not meant to be read literally, and the views expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of the writer or the views of the IMAGES editorial staff.

Comments

Khank Dec 01, 2016 02:02pm
Hilarious
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Asif Dec 01, 2016 02:04pm
Here is an idea for your second story: Gilani claimed Hilary called him, after release of his son, and said she will invite them to White House after she is elected. Fantasy, road trip or road kill. Spielberg called and he wanted to do a movie on his son ordeal. Since we was shackled and blind folded so 90 minutes of the 100 minutes will be pitch dark in theatre and shackle noises. Must go see the movie ...getting too excited. And now we have Nawaz claim to have talked to The Donald and who lay praise on his footstep - pir yah pir wadaii. Are these leaders on some cheap drugs?
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Ashfaq Dec 01, 2016 02:19pm
Awesome! Made my day :)
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Truth Dec 01, 2016 02:27pm
And let's not forget: Avoiding Taxes!
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Salman Sheikh Dec 01, 2016 02:39pm
this is absolute ridicules... unacceptable Nawaz shouldn't make anymore ally with america.... we don't need them anymore they always use us for their personal interest in the name of US AID due to that we got hate of few countries it should be stop now, and stop being making fool all of Pakistani common people....
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Skeptic Dec 01, 2016 02:43pm
Neither likes to pay taxes. But will increase taxes and tariffs that effect rest of the population.
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Mansab Dec 01, 2016 03:12pm
Great piece! The similarities are uncanny.
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Khan Dec 01, 2016 05:06pm
United States is the best friend any country in the world can ever have.
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Ruwan Dec 01, 2016 05:11pm
Can't agree with you more.Good piece.
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Zack Khan-Pakistani Dec 01, 2016 08:32pm
MALIKA SHARARAT, you are awesome!
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MJ Khan Dec 01, 2016 10:05pm
What about their tiny hands?
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pj Dec 02, 2016 06:58am
Sooner we will have Trump Towers all over in Pakistan.
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Anwar Mahmood Dec 02, 2016 07:46am
Nawaz Sharif is trying to have peace and co-operation with all, If he can try have that with Mod, why not with Trump, who is going to head the richest, wealtiest and mightiest nation on planet earth. If you can sway the not so positive thinker Trump about Pakistan and bring him closer with smiles, you are doing great as Pakistani Nawaz. If you cannot make him as good friend as Richard Nixon, you can try Trump to be harmless to Paks. Good luck Nawaz Sharif and I am with you.
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Amrita Dec 02, 2016 10:23am
This really tickled me.
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KAZIM REZA Dec 02, 2016 03:38pm
A best diner you have served that you never had been ........
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Dawn Dec 02, 2016 07:07pm
Two business men to (politically) lead respective nations. And increase personal wealth.
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