‘They keep on taking’: Bushra Ansari slams dowry culture as wedding season nears

As wedding season nears, Bushra Ansari is calling out families that continue to uphold the tradition of asking for dowry in today’s day and age.

Taking to her YouTube channel, she addressed the deeply rooted societal issue in a candid video. She also demanded strict enforcement of anti-dowry laws.

Pakistan has laws aimed at curbing the dowry system, but enforcement of these laws remains weak. According to the Dowry and Bridal Gifts (Restriction) Act, 1976, the value of dowry and bridal gifts cannot exceed Rs5,000.

Recalling her own experience giving dowry that definitely exceeded that limit, Ansari lamented about the archaic practice that continues to plague our society.

“What a weird world we live in. Why can’t there be a strict law against dowry?” she said, highlighting the unfair expectations placed on the bride’s family and calling out the blatant entitlement exhibited by some grooms. “I have seen people being brazen and shameless; taking someone’s daughter, and on top of that, dowry, including apartments and whatnot.”

Drawing from personal experience, Ansari shared that despite providing her daughters with a loving upbringing and a strong educational foundation, societal pressure and love for her daughters led her to give dowry during their marriages. “When they were getting married, on top of everything I had already done, I gave them things like cutlery, furniture, even an apartment. But these shameless people feel nothing,” she said.

“These shameless people keep taking and taking and taking, and they take so much, they start believing it’s their right. The parents of every daughter give, thinking this boy is like their son. It’s not always out of fear. A lot of times, it’s out of love. I did it out of love,” she clarified.

Ansari also pointed out the stark inequality at play. “How dare you take her from her parents and also take things from them? When you’re already giving your daughter, your child, to someone, why should you have to give material wealth as well?”

She went on to contrast Pakistan’s dowry culture with practices in other regions, such as Saudi Arabia and among Pashtun communities. “The guy gifts a house to the woman he’s marrying. And this they’re calling barter? This is not an exchange; it’s him providing security to the girl. Because this girl will build his family, raise his kids, she will take care of him,” she explained.

Pakistan’s Dowry and Bridal Gifts (Restriction) Act also prohibits extravagant wedding expenses and criminalises demanding dowry. Violators can face fines and imprisonment.