Initiatives like Girls at Dhabas are gaining momentum and playing a small but significant role in breaking the male hegemony on public spaces One of Karachi’s biggest shopping malls is inaugurating a women-only parking lot today.
One can think of all the obvious reasons for this move: ‘women’s safety’, misplaced chivalry, or simply customer convenience. But the well-intentioned initiative fails on one very important count, that is, it is only reinforcing the segregation between men and women in Pakistani society.
We already don’t see many women mill about in parks, walk the streets post-sundown or get their chai paratha fix at the neighbourhood hotel – and we’d like to see that change.
That’s not going to happen when women are being sent the message that it’s safer and more convenient if you park away from the rest of humanity.
The good news is that initiatives like Girls at Dhabas are gaining momentum and playing a small but significant role in breaking the male hegemony on public spaces. From street cricket matches to naps in public parks, the movement is steadily trying to encourage women to venture out into public spaces outside of the stipulated times (daylight hours) and places (to your school or workplace or supermarket and back).
It’s a pity that we have to say this, but ladies, please feel free to exist.
Exist out on the road, in your car, in the superstore, tailor shop and salon, and at the mechanic, plumber and electrician ki dukaan , and everywhere in between that we feel compelled to take a male chaperone. The streets and public spaces are just as much ours as anyone else’s.
3) Don't be afraid to ask for a promotion/raise
In 2014, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella suggested that women shouldn't ask for a raise and instead "trust the system" to "give [them] the right raises". The backlash resulted in an immediate retraction and a concession that "If you think you deserve a raise, you should just ask."
Thanks, Nadella. We'll do just that.
4) Don't be afraid to ask for help around the house Today's women are independent, today's women are working. Today's women are also working double shifts as they come home to cook dinner, do laundry and bathe the baby.
A recently released detergent ad in India posed this very valid question: why is laundry only a mother's job? Seems like the only sweeping men do is sweeping this issue under the carpet. Clearly, we've conformed to traditional gender roles for so long that they've become the norm and haven't evolved with the times.
When a man offers to help out around the house, which, let's be honest, doesn't happen much, he expects immense gratitude — and he gets it. However, when women asks for help with domestic chores, they get slapped with pejorative terms like nag.
But you have to push back, now is as good a time as any. As the average age of marriage rises, men are now living on their own for longer, which means they're building the necessary skills to manage a house. There is no shame in asking for help with a responsibility that is NOT only yours, that you are not biologically inclined towards, no matter what you've been told. The lofty idea of an egalitarian division of labour in the house is now more attainable than ever.
5) Don't be afraid to own your unique beauty