Updated 29 Jan, 2020 11:09am

As she leaves toxic ties behind, Meghan Markle becomes patron saint of brown girls everywhere


This has been a big month so far in the world of celeb news. In the event that you’re just now coming out of a coma or were deep in the Amazonian forests sans-WiFi or following more highbrow news, allow me to bring you up to speed.

On January 8, via their royal Instagram account, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan announced that they would be “stepping back” from royal family duties. Naturally, the Internet collectively lost it making their declaration of independence probably a far bigger deal than the original Declaration of Independence.

Things have since reached Meray Paas Tum Ho-level fervour (i.e. everyone’s obsessed).

For brown girls, the obsession with this much more fun Brexit is on a whole other level. That’s because the couple’s decision to so boldly break free from their khandaan and bravely deal with the corresponding fall-out (the Queen immediately called for a family meeting) has pretty much permanently catapulted Meghan to Patron Saint of Brown Women Everywhere status.

Here’s some questions currently weighing heavily on my foggy, nine months pregnant brain: Did Meghan always plan to Megxit... even pre-wedding?! Because if this was her long game, then that’s truly a level of plotting and scheming no local Hum TV drama actress could outdo.

Secondly, can one of the world’s most popular couples truly and really live outside of the shadow of what seems like the world’s most dominating, controlling susral? If such freedom truly and really does exist, then ladies, REJOICE, because this is the modern day fairytale ending we have all been waiting for, the kind of ending where we simultaneously bag the prince and ditch the joint family dramarama.

Of course, since the news broke, a lot of column inches (and Piers Morgan tweets) have been dedicated to analysing how the poor, unassuming Prince Harry has been rendered into a voiceless, puppet-like dunce thanks to his malicious, scheming wife who is forcing him to split from both family and country.


By telling the Queen aka the world’s most overwhelming and controlling saas “so long, sayonara”, Meghan has shown us anything is possible.


Never mind the fact that Harry is an adult man fully capable of making his own decisions, not to mention that we have years of evidence that prove Harry has long contemplated ditching his royal baggage (you know, the one he’s been carrying since he was a little boy who lost his mother to the overly zealous and critical paparazzi).

Indeed, in a 2017 interview with Newsweek, Harry said he longed to be “something other than Prince Harry” describing his life as “living in a goldfish bowl”. Considering goldfish spend most of their lifetime floating around in their waste and have a lifespan of like, two weeks (at least this is how my pet goldfish lived), it’s safe to assume that what Harry was implying is that the life he lives is really no life at all.

Of course, that isn’t to say that our dear Duchess has no role or say in all of this. After all, Meghan, who is already a bona fide badass, has busted out perhaps one of the most bold moves I have seen in recent times (ranking up there with the time when Mehwish boldly took a risque day trip to Islamabad with Shahwar in MPTH).

By telling the Queen aka the world’s most overwhelming and controlling saas “so long, sayonara”, Meghan has shown us anything is possible.

By walking away not just from all those boring, pesky royal duties but also leaving behind a bottomless purse funded by the so generous UK taxpayers, Meghan has motivated us all to, at the very least, consider what it would mean to leave behind the cushy two-kanal bangla, bank balance and car that so often keeps us tethered slave-like to a sometimes toxic joint family.

Which is why, no matter what your thoughts are on the royal couple’s decision, you gotta give it up for Meghan. In one fell swoop, she’s proven to brown girls worldwide that, maybe, we can dare dream about having it all.


This article is categorised as humour/satire. Its content is not meant to be read literally, and the views expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of the writer or the views of the IMAGES editorial staff.

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