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Malala's crime is not her opinions on marriage — it's surviving and thriving

We love our martyrs but Malala Yousafzai survived and her courage threatens us, so we try to tear her down at every opportunity.
06 Jun, 2021

Almost a decade after getting shot in the face as a teenager, you would think grown adults would stop bullying you for it. Apparently not. After all, you survived.

Malala Yousafzai is extremely unique and supremely distinguished in much of what she has done in her life. Where she is an average 23-year-old college graduate is when it comes to her ideas of companionship. After all, she is a woman in her early 20s, her ideas of romance and lifelong commitments only developing. That happens sometimes. Ideas develop. If they are given space to breathe and an environment to flourish, of course. The rest of our lives is a negotiation and renegotiation with those ideas. After all, that is the point of the brain, I imagine — to work.

In Pakistan, that rarely happens. Ideas are squashed before they even begin taking shape, and independent thought is actively discouraged. Here, log kya kahein ge [what will people say] has achieved national motto status. Teenage marriages are justified through jitne jaldi shaadi ho jaaye, larkiyaan utni asaani se mould ho jaati hain [The sooner you get a girl married, the easier it will be to mould her], and any argument against convention is met with ek, dou kitaabein kya parh lein khud ko hum se zyaada samajhdaar samajhne lagey hain [After reading a couple of books, you think you're smarter than us].

Your paths in life are set. You are to mindlessly go to school, get grades better than your cousin, get a job that drains you, get married to a either a stranger or a cousin, have at least two kids (preferably one of them a son), put the kids through school, ask them why they aren’t getting grades as good as their cousins', force them into a career that drains them, have them marry a cousin or a stranger, demand at least two grandkids (preferably, one of them a son).

And even if you theoretically understand the costs of leading such a life — a brain that rots because it is not being used, a heart that remains unfulfilled, and relationships that start deteriorating as our burdens catch up to us — very few have the strength to deny the noise outside and imagine a different possibility. That remains true for our personal and our political. The risks are always imagined to be too great. An excommunication from the community, a life of being shunned.

In the midst of this, a renowned icon of 23, with her thoughts just developing, with her only beginning to deal with ideas of romantic unions, gently questions these notions you have committed so heavily to and it starts feeling like a personal attack.

This quote, cherry-picked from a remarkable interview, to intentionally feel collectively attacked is only a small example of our national problem with Malala: she has the strength to go against convention and the audacity to be universally loved.

Ever since she was 12, Malala has challenged forces that our leadership preferred to succumb to. She refused to sit by and pay the cost of the decisions taken by those in charge. And as long as we considered her efforts those of a child, which will inevitably fail in the face of convention when push comes to shove, we even encouraged her. We thought she was a cat and we had the laser pointer in our hand. We gave her prizes and welcomed the coverage she got.

Until she got shot, and we thought, “well, that was that”. We love the idea of people recognising our suffering, but also not going far enough to challenge the convention we hold sacred out of fear. As she lay unconscious on the brink of death, and the country waited for her to tip over to the other side, the reactions remained supportive. We love our martyrs in this country, we love our “lost potentials”. Fatwas were issued denouncing the attack on her, media channels wondered how someone could shoot a child, everybody in their homes shook their heads in grief at the tragedy of it all.

And then, she survived.

As the world rejoiced in the survival of a hero, we buried the martyr. Suddenly, it became obvious that the only one playing with a laser pointer was us. Malala Yousafzai now existed, not as an unrealised utopian ideal we could present to the world as a cost we had collectively borne for the decisions taken by those in charge, but as a possibility challenging the conventions we have committed too heavily to. Suddenly, she was irreligious, media channels were asking why would anyone shoot a child, everybody in their homes decided that the attack was staged, that someone decided to take money for being shot in the head and defame a country that was already viewed with suspicion.

Not only do we feel threatened by her courage, we also resent that it is celebrated and not shunned. So we do what cowardly people do, instead of embracing the possibility Malala offers us, we are determined to tear her down. We want to prove to ourselves that she is a hack, so that we are not forced to confront the alternative; that we are trapped inside of a hell of our own making. Thus, we insist that the ideas she presents are not so much opportunities to rethink our reality, but a personal affront delivered by someone who is morally corrupt at best and invested in a global conspiracy against us at worst.

So we try to accuse her of wrongdoings she has not committed and attacks she has not delivered. This is particularly annoying, because Malala has already denied us the easiest way we could have discredited her. Our patriarchal value system is debilitated trying to find excuses to question her “western” character, as Malala prances about challenging all their notions with a dupatta on her head. She took a piece of cloth that the White world had long struggled to remove from a woman, and the brown man had long struggled to drape her in, showed both groups the middle finger, and reclaimed it. Well, this sucks. She challenges us, and also robbed us of our most powerful weapon to annihilate her with.

So we must dig deeper, build up impossible standards for anyone to live up to. Ask questions that have repeatedly been answered. Make demands that can never be fulfilled. Keep shifting goalposts as she continues to prove us wrong.

“The Taliban are not evil enough to shoot a child in the head, the attack was staged to discredit Muslims,” we had initially said. (Until the Taliban shot 150 of our children we couldn’t save, whose parents continue to seek justice.)

“Why only Malala, why don’t they mention the other girls who were with her?” we ask of the Western media, without mentioning the other girls who were with her (Kainat and Shazia, also in England, mentioned by Malala in her Nobel Prize acceptance award as they sat in the audience.)

“Why Malala and not Waleed Khan, survivor of the APS attack, who lives in Pakistan?” grown adults continued asking. (Waleed himself tweeted in defence of Malala, clarified that he is in England, and mentioned the support that the Yousafzais had offered him.)

“What has Malala done for Pakistan?” we desperately continued. (The answer is available with a single Google search.)

“If she is so committed to human rights, why not condemn American violence?” (She did, directly to Barack Obama’s face.)

“Okay but why not Palestine and Kashmir?” (She did. She did. In a moment when the Pakistani and Indian right wing would have gone to war with one another, they united to badmouth her when she did.)

“Why does she not return to Pakistan?” people living in a country where the Prime Minister routinely tweets remittance figures as a boast ask about a girl who faces a threat to her life and general hostility from her craven countrymen. (And yet when she did, the All Pakistan Private Schools Federation banned her book, and celebrated I Am Not Malala Day because they did not agree with her “ideology”. Now the religious right wing does not want us to include “un-Islamic” terms like “markup” in our mathematics curriculum.)

Whatever Malala suggested, we went and did the opposite. And every time, she was proven right. So now when Malala graces the cover of Vogue, we grasp at straws, hoping to be attacked so we could be proven right in our dislike for her. Celebrities, who continue to perform the same problematic roles over and over again, accuse her, try to humiliate her, even though they don’t even register as a speck in Malala’s worldview. Larger audiences on social media scurry to cling to this one statement, taken out of context, from an interview they have yet to read as verifiable proof that Malala wants to destabilise our “family system”. Lately, everything has been an attack on our family system. We would rather be more concerned with why she does not live in this country, instead of the spokesperson of the group that shot her.

Had she not survived the attack we would have been able to advertise to the world what a grief-stricken country we really are. We could have spoken about her as a martyr and a warning. We would have remembered her in glory and projected our nationalist ideas onto her memory without her being around to set her own terms of her identity. But she lives, cherished, and not mourned as a reminder of our failures. In her we see our evil and our cowardice reflected.

As she slowly builds the world we want to live in, we are forced to accept that we are not just victims of our suffering but complicit in enacting it. We blame her for proving the “western” view of us right, as we continue renouncing the hope she offers us. We attack her, mock her, malign her, and falsely accuse her. We resolutely continue on our path to self-destruction, even when she shows us possibilities to thrive.

And yet, there she stands. Dignified and glorified. Reasserting at every opportunity she gets that her identity is tied to ours. That she is one of us. Holding onto the ties we believe we want cut off. Dreaming of coming back to a safer home, a better home, a more welcoming home. Continuing to offer peace and love even as we respond with hostility and hatred. Malala does not attack us. She does not mock us. She does not malign us.

Malala lived. Malala lives. Long live Malala.

Comments

Nick, NY Jun 06, 2021 12:35pm
Her Oxford image is doomed!
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Majeed Vayani Jun 06, 2021 12:53pm
When Asma Jahangir stuck with country despite intimation and threats. How can you become hero by running away?
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Saad Jun 06, 2021 01:06pm
We need more people like her. Long live Malala...!!
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Hassan Iqbal Jun 06, 2021 01:15pm
Very well written.
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Imran Jun 06, 2021 01:22pm
Her crime is being silent when a firm opinion is required on Kashmir/Palestine and not returning home to do what she set out to do for women's education - It's that simple.
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Sahil Jun 06, 2021 01:22pm
Long live Malala.
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Fastrack Jun 06, 2021 01:24pm
Why do you have to rush and defend everything she says? She is right when she is right. And that's NOT always.
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Gig Jun 06, 2021 01:27pm
As a worldwide Known figure, and apart from whatever her views are, i have just one question, what is her contribution towards Pakistan or Pakistani children?
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RationalBabu Jun 06, 2021 01:33pm
Absolutely brilliant and incisive article. Must be translated into Urdu so that every ignorant person can read it!
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Fuzail Z. Ahmad Jun 06, 2021 01:45pm
"Malala lived. Malala lives. Long live Malala". Beautiful ending to a great piece.
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M Ayyaz1 Jun 06, 2021 02:09pm
Agreed!!!
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Maxx Jun 06, 2021 02:12pm
@Fuzail Z. Ahmad Finally the hype is over!
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Funny man Jun 06, 2021 02:21pm
It's ironic how she is an example for Pakistani girls when she refuses to live in Pakistan herself.
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M. Saeed Jun 06, 2021 02:37pm
Nobel award does not give any short-cut to experience and acceptable general Knowledge.
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Zeeshan Jun 06, 2021 02:42pm
I totally disagree with this stance that she is quoted out of context. I read and then re-read the vogue interview 2 times just to make sure and understand that she is not being quoted out of context. Her words are her own and she should own them. She exactly meant what she said in the context being quoted. She should have known better.
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Mariyum Jun 06, 2021 02:44pm
As one climbs the height if fame, he or she buys opponents as well ,it happens every where, from religious or plotical leaders to social activist, people disagree with your opinion . I think Malala is already enjoying fame and celebrity status much more than she deserve, having partner without marriage reflects her liberty.
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Dr. Verbal Diarrhea PhD Jun 06, 2021 02:44pm
What did this postar child do that an Asma Jahangir couldn't do for Pakistan?
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Tajammal Jun 06, 2021 02:46pm
Whats her achievement is?
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Adam Jun 06, 2021 02:50pm
Lets face it, she is a woke feminist. Its no surprise.
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Irfan Huq Jun 06, 2021 02:52pm
@Majeed Vayani Why you want her to come back among the same people who tried to kill her.
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Fraz Jun 06, 2021 02:54pm
She is what her father wanted her to be. She is what Western living has influenced her to be. She will be West and our Media's pearl for times to come
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Hello world Jun 06, 2021 03:04pm
I completely disagree with your headline assertion.
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shahim Jun 06, 2021 03:10pm
and the liberal brigade arrives within a week.
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EsEx Jun 06, 2021 03:18pm
Beautifully stated.
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Qaisar Jun 06, 2021 03:18pm
Awesome article Aimun, cannot agree more with your argument. Malala is a beacon of hope for all of us but Alas! we do not want hope and light, we run after dark. Sincerely hope it changes someday.
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Syed Irfan Ali Jun 06, 2021 03:23pm
Beautifully written. Worth reading.
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Zain Maken Jun 06, 2021 03:25pm
Wonderful, compassionate piece! The biggest casualty in the ‘shame on Malala brigade’ is our ability to think & reflect. If the evolving opinion of a 23-year old girl sets our fragile systems of patriarchy on fire, it may be prudent to reflect on the message without killing the messenger. The moral brigade’s reaction illustrates our inability, as a society, to acknowledge and allow diversity of thought. You don’t have to agree with Malala, you, of course, have the right to disagree, JUST like she does, but instead of an intellectual discussion or argument, to succumb to demeaning, ridiculing, character assassinating and just spitting plain vile shows our insecurities and a lack of confidence in our ability for a rational debate. The fear that Malala’s thoughts on marriage will now resonate in minds of millions of Pakistani girls, and disintegrate our marriage institutions reveals that the last thing we want is to reflect inwardly, on ourselves, and our institutions
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Abbas Naqvi Jun 06, 2021 03:25pm
Unless we change our myopic approach, we will remain incapable of seeing and understanding reality. That's why it is education, championed by Malala, that can enlighten and change our dark vision.
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Believer Jun 06, 2021 04:12pm
I missed thanking and appreciating the respected author to write about this in my earlier post, we definitely need to have a public discourse on topics like this, and I am absolutely for a civil discourse without character assassination, ridiculing, belittling, name calling and so on You can be respectfully disagree with someone, and that's what we need to promote in our beloved Pakistan!!!
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Habib Jun 06, 2021 04:55pm
She is an important figure, her words and actions matters in public, particularly for her country me and women. She need to be careful.
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SidC Jun 06, 2021 05:09pm
@Zeeshan Its just a opinion not a crime. Many people living together with marriage especially in western countries so what. Out of context what a senseless excuse.
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MUBASHAR ALTAF Jun 06, 2021 05:12pm
Yes Malala's crime is that she did not die She is thriving . living.
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AQ Jun 06, 2021 05:44pm
@shahim fundo convoy already arrived.
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Riaz Jun 06, 2021 05:47pm
@Tajammal millions of dollars for poor girls what is urs?
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Riaz Uddin Jun 06, 2021 05:47pm
Her views are personal and private, they should not have been criticized. She lives in a country where freedom of expression is acknowledged and encouraged, Despite marriage is considered most sacred, and given preference to common law partnership in many respects
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Naeem Ghafoor Jun 06, 2021 05:55pm
Malala is a 23 year old British citizen. Her thoughts, opinions, conversations, work, relationships and everything related to her is her own. She is brave, lucky and intelligent hard working girl. We owe her an apology for not protecting her and almost got her killed.
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MA Jun 06, 2021 06:07pm
What you have explained is all happening in west.
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Babaji Jun 06, 2021 06:09pm
@Tajammal , so in other words , not only you can’t comprehend past and present , but also blind ???
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Ali Jun 06, 2021 06:15pm
No, it is about her opinions considering her more pronounced status. It is not about her surviving and thriving. Nobody in Pakistan feels threatened by somebody tucked away in the UK.
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Tajammal Jun 06, 2021 06:17pm
@Riaz I have not claimed any achievement for myself, but what is yours?
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Aamir Jun 06, 2021 06:35pm
Malala is wrong about her views on marriage. Let's put the facts straight. She was attacked, which was deplored by all, but this doesn't mean we support her wrong deeds as well.
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Rahim Khan Jun 06, 2021 06:47pm
Malala is OK but I prefer the Kardashians and their opinions.
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Ghani K Jun 06, 2021 07:08pm
@Saad Need for what ?
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Zab Jun 06, 2021 07:41pm
@M. Saeed , yes you are right, but it can go to somebody's head as it has in this case
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Chrís Dăn Jun 06, 2021 07:45pm
@Majeed Vayani Asmaś head was not shot by talibans. Otherwise she would have never lived here afterwards if survived of attack.
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Mahmud Johnson Jun 06, 2021 08:07pm
I read the article in Vogue prior to this one. Malala is not an average 23-year old. She is an icon, arguably, by design. What she says matters. Her high-profile exposure to world leaders after horrendous suffering as a 15-year old, is unmatched. Her seemingly innocent questioning of the marriage under the garb of a soul-searching young woman, puts the institution of marriage in doubt in the minds of her followers. Just that it is clear - fornication is a sin in Islam. It is unacceptable for her to promote a wrong and I regard her to be a sham.
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Zab Jun 06, 2021 08:13pm
@RationalBabu the hollowness and arrogance enshrined in your comment must be condemned
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Lahorewala Jun 06, 2021 08:16pm
Malala is now a British citizen, and wants to think, speak and act like Europeans to get their acceptance. Good luck to her.
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ENGR Hamid Shafiq Jun 06, 2021 08:22pm
Some time your opinion not good for your personality and life
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Ibrahim Jun 06, 2021 08:41pm
@Rahim Khan - you pervert . You must have attended one of the seminaries in KP
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Shah Jun 06, 2021 08:53pm
Modernity is science in line with our own Islamic values, not Western values. Moden Pakistanis has a tendency to adopt Western values without the science. Right now Islamic Civilization is the only civilization where religion hold value. This is beautiful.
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Majeed Vayani Jun 06, 2021 08:55pm
@Irfan Huq either you are coward or brave? Myanmar Aung suui did the same thing stuck with her people.
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David M Jun 06, 2021 09:00pm
West imposed father and daughter. Give us a break
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Jaisriram Jun 06, 2021 09:02pm
How can a land of religious fanatics digest what "Malala" says in the media when it is "impacting" their own business of running "Madarassas" with crooked mindset and to milk from out of innocent lives for their (clerics) own betterment? Ask yourself honestly as to what you are doing in your own countrymens' interests? Being selfish to the core, criticism and berating Malala is a better solution for your business.
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Majeed Vayani Jun 06, 2021 09:03pm
@Chrís Dăn Asma was getting more threats but stuck with her people . Fighting for rights of people. And why she was not shot? Cause she stand tall any one would have thought hundred times before shot her. That’s her achievement.
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abdul w qureshi Jun 06, 2021 09:09pm
world is changing and you cannot stop it .War had been a history of world and after suffer the consequence of eorope world it is time to change the world establishing united nation which resulted in global economy and the WTO and now life is changing due to social changes in the world .The local laws on mairaige has effected the social behavior of relation between man and woman . and it will take it to conclusive end
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Zeeshan Jun 06, 2021 09:09pm
Well written article. I am a supporter of Malala, always have been. I too believe her statement was taken out of context. For example, if she said marriage is more than just a paper contract but instead a partnership and the Vogue interviewer understood it to be something else then that's very much a possibility. Anyway, even if she meant what was reported, I disagree with her philosophy but I am not going to hate her for that. I am surprised at such hate for an individual who literally got shot in the face by terrorists.
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BlueCollar Jun 06, 2021 09:23pm
Think about how much her family has gained financially by moving to UK .Why should she rock the boat by condemning Israel ‘s ruthlessly killing Palestinian children, or defend the sanctity of marriage.
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Imran Jun 06, 2021 09:23pm
Who wrote these words? her PR firm.....
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BlueCollar Jun 06, 2021 09:36pm
@Majeed Vayani Asma Jehangir faced sometimes virulent verbal attacks by right wing press but she did not budge from her belief. Ms . Yousafzai accidentally became a spokesperson of women’s education
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Zahid Jun 06, 2021 09:52pm
With respect. You have missed the elephant in the room. The west will allow violence to happen to a people and then pick an individual to glorify for fighting back. This is to show they are caring people.
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Afhjk Jun 06, 2021 09:53pm
@Mariyum Is it. Having a partner, white, black or brown. If she has a child without marriage. Which is quiet normal in west . That is her life with western integration and values
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Imran Jun 06, 2021 09:55pm
Just so odd how she has become such a controversial figure in Pakistan.
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Jahanara Jun 06, 2021 10:12pm
@RationalBabu why do we have to prove that whatever is coming out from her mouth are words of gold and we have to embrace them otherwise we are doomed.
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Concerned Jun 06, 2021 10:29pm
@Gig what is yours?
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Salman Jun 06, 2021 10:41pm
Waleed Peshawar student who gets 6 bullets on face never ask by West why this double stranderpolicy.
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Hnmirza Jun 06, 2021 10:44pm
Excellent article.
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Ali da Malanga Jun 06, 2021 11:10pm
Ever asked the question who is paying for Malala's education and living expenses? Ever asked why she has stayed quiet on Kashmir and Palestine? Ever wondered why the West didn't treat the other two girls who were injured along with Malala the same way?
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Sardar Ali Jun 06, 2021 11:29pm
@Nick, NY Yes, for sure but only in the eyes of Muslims. She is being praised by the West.
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SAYED JEHAN Jun 06, 2021 11:33pm
@Naeem Ghafoor what about thousands of others getting killed by terrorists across the country . Do you feel sorry for them? Malala is now more influenced by western culture and can not be a role model for young Pakistani girls,
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sheryar khan abbasi Jun 06, 2021 11:36pm
Actually u dont have to agree with everything someone says. I admire her for the courage but at the same time i dont agree with everything she says and thats normal. Everybody has his opinions u can agree or disagree with them. Regardin marriage thing its her opinion i dont agree with that. But its vogue interviewing so one has to be a bit liberal, i dont blame her. U cant be anti semetic while being interviewed by CNN....
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STH Jun 06, 2021 11:38pm
Stood for a cause, against elements, got shot, survived, got respect, got awarded. Days went by, life became normal, Now what? days are not the same, need a new element for survival, this new issue has audience, another book may have potential. What about other people who stood for causes and many even lost their lives? Do we even remember their names?
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Gomogo Jun 06, 2021 11:53pm
The Noble prize committee did you actually found out that what was claimed for Malala as activist for the girls education ? 1. Did you verified all the claims on behalf of her. 2. Did you listened to the local people of Swat about these claims? 3. Did you confirm that the she actually wrote for the BBC? 4. Did you confirmed that the attack on Malala was actually not a staged attack? 5. Can you even now find out that what the local people of Swat say and think about Malala’s claim? 6. How can a person thousands miles away can know about Malala’a activities.
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Mohmad Sharif Jamali Jun 06, 2021 11:54pm
@Riaz :million dollars for girls education?? Then why PK is still backwards from world average. Even boys included. Where these $$ spent. Or sent only in کاغذوں میں۔۔
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Usman Jun 07, 2021 12:07am
She did not just survive the attack, she's continuing to fight off a never-ending battle!
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Mudasir Rashid Jun 07, 2021 12:08am
If the comments are not according to the standard set, these will be dismissed as "patriarchal, mysogynistic, Islamist, fundamentalist" etc, by the socalled free media. Those celebrating Malala's interview in Vogue and her cover photos have may be forgotten that West has bestowed Nobel prize, Oxford and a long list of awards. So it is not a new thing that she got this prime coverage. Similarly, Malala can only say, what the Fund tells her to do. Who runs the Fund, is enigma. One may or maynot believe in Illuminati, but this Malala Fund is a real life example of such a body. Malala cannot say anything on her own related to international relations, politics, religion, socio cultural things. Yes, she can freely tell, which ice cream she likes. After all, she lives in a free society with free media. That being said, its her life and she has the right to live the way she wants. But again, is it her choice or was this in the approved script. 30s, Uni grad, married, male, Pakistani, Muslim.
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FS Jun 07, 2021 12:10am
Excellent analysis about the society’s state of mind. Unfortunately people’s heads are stuck in the sand and there is general decay in terms of ability to think. One thing you may have missed is her dislike within the elites and educated as well - there is class prejudice against her. She should stay and prosper abroad where she isn’t constantly surrounded by such negativity.
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SHAHZEENA TARIQ Jun 07, 2021 12:20am
I read the article again ,again and again And their was not a single word which was out of context ......she actually said that You wrote a huge paragraph on just fantasising her ! But you weren't able to clear her so called "out of context " opinion. Another thing ;Who is living in this country or many other countries with a fool proof security of life.....??? No one dear ...many Pakistanis are living under treat warnings, but never leave , I know everybody didn't get the chance or opportunity but if you are trying to build something for a country than Forget about everything.....simple
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SHAHZEENA TARIQ Jun 07, 2021 12:38am
@Zain Maken you are right, but wrong . As you said that if her opinion is bothering you than it's your fault not her (the messenger).......yes its true everyone didn't have the ability to concise someone thoughts ,we have to strengthen our own faith and beliefs but, a simple Muslim who is following her and admitting everything she says as right .....should be in trouble if she says things like this...... And secondly diversity of thoughts is allowed and acceptable until its betwe6the boundaries of ISLAM now please don't say that she isn't only representing Muslims..... She is a Muslim so she has to be in limits of the religion she follows
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SURENDRA Mehta Jun 07, 2021 12:39am
Excellent article reviewing Malala’s book and her thoughts about society. She is only 21 but way beyond in wisdom in her short life. There should be more individuals like you speaking in her favor. Long live girls like Malala who bring honor to her country of birth.
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SURENDRA Mehta Jun 07, 2021 12:43am
Excellent article reviewing Malala’s book. There should be more individuals supporting her views and what she has achieved in her short life to make the country proud worldwide
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Asghar Jun 07, 2021 12:46am
Appeasing those who give you favours is not a crime.
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SURENDRA Mehta Jun 07, 2021 12:46am
Long live Malal for standing up against all odds forced by society.
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Secularist Jun 07, 2021 01:08am
The problem is that Pakistan needs Malala to lift the country out of medieval darkness and let a hundreds of Malalas bloom. But, the ignorance, and fear of anything modern and civilized is too deep rooted in the male chauvinistic society. Pakistan does not deserve a gem like Malala.
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Baasha Jun 07, 2021 01:18am
Malala shouldn't forget that she is a muslim
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Moeema Zafir Jun 07, 2021 01:46am
To Malala thank you for being so brave and speaking your mind. I am in love with somebody I am not allowed to love. Your words give me strength- as you are a fighter, have a mind of your own and are very brave. love to you
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Syed Hassan Jun 07, 2021 01:48am
80% of the people who are commenting on Malala have not even read the actual article. This is the misfortune that we haven't inherited but have earned the hard way. Without diving into the reality, just label someone bad. Only criteria is that you don't like him/her.
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Babar Jun 07, 2021 02:01am
@Gig Don't tell me that you do not know? 40,000 girls in Pakistan are supported by Malala fund and getting an education in Pakistan. Her book was banned by all the schools thank sto the fundamentalism religiosity that runs across the Pakistani mindset!!!!
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Irrational commoner Jun 07, 2021 02:01am
@RationalBabu By implying that every person who can read in urdu and not in english is ignorant is an ignorance in itself....
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ak Jun 07, 2021 02:47am
@Majeed Vayani She literally only became known nationally and internationally because she was shot by the Taliban. Was she meant to remain in the country so that attempted murder becomes murder?
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ak Jun 07, 2021 02:48am
@Zeeshan why should she have known better? Known better than to accept other people’s opinion as her own? You have clearly missed the entire point of this piece...
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Irshaad New York Jun 07, 2021 03:53am
Ms. Faisal ... a brilliant essay, and a triumph of editorial journalism. !!!! You hit the nail on the head, and your eclectic language charmed my socks off. I wish you continued success in your career. As for Malala, she is better off where she is .... quietly living her own life, free of controversy and danger to life and limb.
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Zakir hassan Jun 07, 2021 04:07am
@Imran have you read her book?? Have you seen all her interviews. Are you 100% sure she never spoke in favour of muslims?? You dumb fella
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Zakir hassan Jun 07, 2021 04:08am
@Gig waaah we andhbhakat, she survived. Don’t you seee she taught the kids never to give.
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Pakman Jun 07, 2021 04:41am
@Imran she could not return home as she was being spurned even at that time. Besides you should feel proud of her as Pakistani. The problem with you and other Pakistanis is that we tend to ignore or forget our heroes. Many a singers, scientists, humanists, poets have we forgotten. Apart for Quaid e Azam, and the Nishan e Haider who else Pakistan?
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Science Jun 07, 2021 04:51am
Many people in comment section have pathetic view, always finding something to critisize intellectuals especially girls.
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Anas Iqbal Jun 07, 2021 04:53am
All i want from her is not to say things that go in conflict with sharia. All the best
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Atif Jun 07, 2021 04:56am
Nothing wrong with her comments….but do not forget where you come from and you are a Muslim. So living together without marriage is not progressive but (forger religion) is not accepted in any civilized society and family. Don’t wear dupptas if you have that kind of thinking….don’t hide behind religion and then have these views. Nothing here about suppression of her rights.
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Mr ehtsham mahmood Jun 07, 2021 04:59am
Most pakistani people have this love/hate point of views towards Malala. At 1st she was hero. She was a light for alot of the girls in pakistan. Then later on she was a sellout in eyes of majority of pakistani people. But can we really judge her for this? We can't see whats going on in her mind. We only see what media is showing us or what she is allowed to show us in todays norms or what Western mentally is expecting from her. She wasn't even allowed to speak openly about philistine issue. She can't always speak her mind. The question we have to ask ourselves is, is she really a sell out or a vitim of the system run by Western powers ?
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OpenMinded Jun 07, 2021 05:07am
a big slap on the faces of the hypocrites and cheap attention loaders! Awesome write up.
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Malik Jun 07, 2021 05:13am
Malala is an asset that we should be proud of, instead of building cobwebs of conspiracy theories around her. It is we who need to answer her as to why Ehsanullah Ehsan who confessed to her murder attempt escaped from detention and not her.
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Malik Jun 07, 2021 05:17am
@Imran She has talked more on Kashmir, Palestine and human rights than the likes of Musharraf. She condemned violence in USA directly in front of President Obama. I am proud of her.
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Zahid Jun 07, 2021 05:23am
When she is right, she’s right. When she’s wrong, she’s wrong. That’s being rational & non partisan. How many girls in Pakistan especially from KP rural areas can vent such views in public. Living together as partners without marriage????
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Khalid iqbal Jun 07, 2021 06:08am
Malala is an ideal for many , if she starts to express her personal feelings in public , it is likely to hurt the sentiments of her followers , because she is living in a society where she has everything, and she can talk the way she is talking , so she should be careful in expressing her likes and dislikes , very few living in her previous country can afford that life and status.
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Zahid Hameed Jun 07, 2021 06:49am
What I am unable to understand that Malala is a muslim girl. The ideas flourishing in her brain and getting matured have certain bounds and boundaries which they cannot cross. Justifying what she said some days back about leading life in companionship puts big and big question marks on her adherence to what her believes are.
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Jai Mahakaal Jun 07, 2021 07:03am
So, Pakistani society is not ready to have her own views.
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Rach Jun 07, 2021 07:47am
@Funny man If she comes to Pakistan, the Mullah brigade will attack her..
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Zulfiqar Jun 07, 2021 08:15am
For a child to develop views on marriage is usually a reflection of the kind of marriages he/she has seen around her immediate circle. Malala’s views on marriage are probably what she feels now but it doesn’t mean that it is what she might feel a year from now or after she’s married. We all go through thoughts that change over time. It’s part of growing up. Maturity comes with age. Even though I don’t agree with her views but I view them as views of a younger person who doesn’t know better yet.
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Wisdom Jun 07, 2021 08:43am
Excellent article. Malala is trying to set free the stranglehold on the womenfolk that the men have on them - through the chains of religion. It is women & women only who can recognize the nature of these chains, and silently, but firmly, fight back to set themselves free.
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Muneeb Jun 07, 2021 09:01am
I can point 100 contradictions in this op ed but for that we need to have a healthy conversation. And yes Malala is a fighter more power to her, but people have a way of furthering the agenda of some other third party without knowing it. I am not blaming Malala
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LAHORI KID Jun 07, 2021 09:08am
Have t we had enough of Malala already.
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Uzma Jahanzaib Jun 07, 2021 09:09am
Very good article, i support each and every work of it, our so called society is so heavily radicalized that, anything which is spoken or written against their routine thinking or values, the whole society turn against u. people are always on stand by to attack any person who speaks or think differently
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LAHORI KID Jun 07, 2021 09:12am
Last I remember, she was all about education and rights for girls and building schools, then came the millions, all became just words.
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Uzma Jahanzaib Jun 07, 2021 09:14am
@Saad nice dost
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Gurcharan Jun 07, 2021 09:25am
@Fastrack That's the advice you should follow and not support IK blindly.
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Mujahid Jun 07, 2021 09:28am
Her stance on Palestine was definitely deplorable but as she was due to appear on vogue cover, she couldn't risk alienating the media establishment
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QURESHI ANJUM PERVEZ Jun 07, 2021 09:39am
@Zeeshan what do you mean she should have known better? What qualifies you to know better?
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QURESHI ANJUM PERVEZ Jun 07, 2021 09:40am
@Uzma Jahanzaib exactly.
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Haris Khan Jun 07, 2021 09:41am
All those pointing fingers on a child for her opinions, what are the accomplishments of your miserable existence? Please, just rejoice in your misery and leave the evolved ones alone. But for some reason that's not going to happen either, that is because misery loves company:)
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Bilal Sheikh Jun 07, 2021 10:30am
Brilliant article. The best one yet. Finger on the pulse!
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Ahmad Jun 07, 2021 12:07pm
no no no and no, she did not commit any crime, she is intelligent enough to understand the moment she will say this the reaction will come and she said it knowingly all of that, now she knows she is no more carry the burden of Pakistani girl with Muslim mentality.
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SEYED SHERALI Jun 07, 2021 12:07pm
Malala is great. Because she thinks for herself. If Pakistan has to develop and become a great nation, the taboo on 'Thinking' should be stopped. 'Thinking' and 'Expressing' ones ideas is not a crime. No nation can flourish if it suppresses the freedom to think and express by its people on topics. Malala can change her opinion when she realizes her current opinion when she becomes more matures. Let us give her the freedom to think and the time to mature.
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M. Saeed Jun 07, 2021 12:31pm
A religous scholar stated on Pakistani TV that, according to the essential requirements for marriage, the marrying pair must be sensible, agree mutually to marry on free will and must have two well known to them FULL witnesses to support and confirm all the statements on solemn words of their statements. A full witness being a male or two females.
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Chrís Dăn Jun 07, 2021 01:08pm
@Gomogo what an unfortunate pakistani you are who is not proud of Nobel Prize to a Pakistani .
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Chrís Dăn Jun 07, 2021 01:11pm
@BlueCollar she was not shot in head . Never. Otherwise she would be out .
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:19pm
Nice article. I would ask what's wrong with early age marriage socially, religiously and biologically or medically?. Nowadays, most European or American stars get kids early and then pursue a career. Regardless they get married or not is bot the point here. Early marriage, kids at young age is bliss.
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:19pm
@Nick, NY ... funny, what Oxford image?
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:20pm
@Imran ... she is not a politician... she is?
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:21pm
@Zeeshan ... very right.
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:26pm
@Mariyum .... you were quite vocal and promoted my body my will?... this very page was full of support for echoing such statements. What wrong Malala said?... one way or other she is replicating that slogan in different words. Now all are feeling hurt?...
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:27pm
@Chrís Dăn ... did you see her London hospital medical reports?
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A. ALI Jun 07, 2021 02:29pm
@Gurcharan ... I understand the pain IK delivered on people like you. No worries.
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Piracha SF,CA Jun 07, 2021 03:26pm
Destroyed culture views,nothing else.
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Adan Jun 07, 2021 03:34pm
@Majeed Vayani good.. that's a point to ponder
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AbdulHaque Shaikh Jun 07, 2021 06:47pm
Yes, author is right. She is surviving and making lot of money. But she is no more an inspiration. She is just ordinary person who have been presented opportunity to make lot of money for criticizing her own culture.
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Leo Jun 07, 2021 07:23pm
Why does she not come back to Pakistan? What had she done literally to win the Nobel prize? Is she promoting a live in relationship? Why did her family also immigrate to UK of they are so Pakistani?
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Farah Jun 07, 2021 08:02pm
@Mariyum well her image is deluded more and more when local deep pockets and western media try to magnify her image. why does western media give her so much hype coz it fulfills their very own motives .
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SS Jun 08, 2021 01:39am
Nothing was taken out of context. She openly mused about the need of a nikkah, while simultaneously branding herself as a child of a particular culture which holds the nikkah sacred. You can't have it both ways. Or if you do, you can at least have the decency to complete the thought. How does she feel now, after having such conversations with her mother? By leaving it open, it seems as if the question is still up in the air for consideration. And no, these are not "normal" questions a daughter asks her mother...it comes from a place of exposure to a competing (and hostile) culture. The sanctity of the nikkah as a cultural factor is zero sum and not a personal choice, as the entire point of the nikkah is the sole mandated sanction for a marriage, to be recognized by society at large. I can ignore and even support Malala the girl and victim, but I can't support Malala as a brand representative of Pakistani culture/subculture, or as a potential political exponent.
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SS Jun 08, 2021 01:43am
@Chrís Dăn - should the Rohingya be proud of their local Nobel winner? No, the two are not the same...and Malala did have the decency to call out Aung San Suu Kyi...but it does go to show that the Nobel Peace prize is really not predicated on following some great path that the rest of humanity should aspire to. If anything it's an accolade to support a personal brand.
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SS Jun 08, 2021 01:45am
@SEYED SHERALI - Why on earth so vague and general? Of what benefit would it be to Pakistan to eliminate the Nikkah? Specifically? Making this a free speech issue is banal.
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Nader Jun 08, 2021 04:50am
@Zeeshan can a young person not ask a question either teasingly or as a hypothetical option to stir up a debate with their mother?. The point of her telling that story was for her to highlight how firmly her parents instill and remind her of cultural values even to this day.
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Fazal khaliq Jun 08, 2021 05:46am
Wow! There you go a refined novelty of thoughts of the conventional society where individual thoughts are murdered before they go to be flourished. Aimun, your courage is much appreciated.
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Noor Hashmi Jun 08, 2021 06:33am
That should also be done from the West money given in charity.
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Raza Jun 08, 2021 09:23am
Planted device
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Naveed Jun 08, 2021 10:37am
Everybody who wants to live with their partner without marriage can move to england like her.
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Awais Jun 08, 2021 10:39am
@Baasha already forgotten
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Zak Jun 08, 2021 10:42am
It was horrific incident that happen to Malala, ie getting shot in the face, the west took advantage of her ordeal, she was used a tool to propagate against the taliban, here is a child who was shot by the Taliban the west grilled that message into the mainstream, sothey can justify there war in Afghanistan. Malala is mouth piece for the west, ask to her say something against isreal, khasmir, war in Iraq,syria She won't, because she is being controlled by UK and her allies. Marriage is the core of Islam, why give a damping statement knowing it will cause an up roar in the muslim world.
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Zak Jun 08, 2021 10:47am
Many of you say it just her opinion, that's how it starts, you say something small to test the water, then escalate it to like of salman Rushde's static verses, and that france Cartoonist,
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Irtaza Malik Awan Jun 08, 2021 11:45am
The day Malala announces she is coming back to Pakistan to run a girls school/college, is the day I will take her for real. Till that she she is just a British taxpayers fed showpiece!
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Akbar Ali Jun 08, 2021 12:23pm
@Gig good question but u will never get an answer.
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Akbar Ali Jun 08, 2021 12:28pm
I thought the nightmare of Asma Jahangit is over but the worst is yet to come. Plz Malala if want to live in London and lecture Pakistanis then plz stop and do some other business. I am sure that she is getting training to become bureaucrate and will lead Pakistan with the help of govt one day.
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Usman Jun 08, 2021 12:28pm
Cool story... Still cant ignore the fact that she didn't know why ppl get married. A big question mark on her intellect and the noble prince she got.... I think the bullet affected her brain so much that she forgot that generations upon generations ppl got married to the point where she came to this world.
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Masood Abbas Jun 08, 2021 01:14pm
You will find thousands Malalas in Pakistan and Africa but no body say a word about them. Malala is a created in western posture, nothing special about her.
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Maryam Mughal Jun 08, 2021 02:47pm
So, so well articulated and completely on point. Absolutely fantastic writing. Thank you!
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Maliha Jun 08, 2021 02:55pm
@RationalBabu you mean every citizen who can't read/write Urdu is an ignorant person? You need to look up the term.
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Khan Jun 08, 2021 03:42pm
I think Malala is an muslim girl so she should avoid such talk about what islam denies there is no room for what and why.because A true muslim always promote islam .If Malala likes westren thinking then yes it's a different matter.not the every society in Pakistan is the same.ignorance is somewhere in every country.If marry to a girl under the age of eighteen is a crime however the words has said by the malala are not good for the society in any way.
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Jalal Jun 08, 2021 04:01pm
There are many girls with courage n strong determination in our country. No dearth at all. Courage is to face the danger not eluding away from reality and hiding in the lap of western culture. You have Exaggerated and exalted her a lot. the thoughts on our society you are describing are extremely prejudiced n unjustified. Why don't all of you blind followers of west move there n leave this country and this society. Shame on you twisting the facts and falsely glorifying a wrong person.
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Bestasif Jun 08, 2021 04:41pm
So you think it is better to do zinnah then doing nikah
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Tariq Jun 08, 2021 07:14pm
WAo I think new malala is going to be born When any one speaks bad and ugly about Pakistan and Pakistani people he or she will become icon in the eyes of foreign media foreign media need such .....,. Who can play according to their ideas
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Meliora Jun 09, 2021 11:31am
Is it bravery or foolishness to remain where you're doomed to be buried? Ask yourselves, would you not leave the house you were robbed in? Would you not relocate to a more secure neighbourhood, given the chance? Would you not leave the county bent on making a martyr out of you?
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Khalid Jun 10, 2021 02:51pm
@Maxx she refused to live in a country where her life is in danger and where her views are so vilipended that some are even wiling to be a suicide bomber to kill her . she brought hope to pakistan, she showed the word than pakistanis can fight for causes that matters, and that the extremists ideas are not the common ways of pakistanis. long Live Malala
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