Images

Netflix show on Indian matchmaker highlights the worst of desi wedding culture

Netflix show on Indian matchmaker highlights the worst of desi wedding culture

Created by Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra, the show focuses on matchmaker Simi Taparia from Mumbai
21 Jul, 2020

A new Netflix show about an Indian matchmaker catering to the high demands of potential brides and grooms, and their parents, has stoked an online debate about arranged marriages in the country.

The eight-part series “Indian Matchmaking” premiered on Netflix on Thursday and is currently among its top ranked India shows. It features Sima Taparia, a real-life matchmaker from Mumbai, who offers her services to families within India and abroad.

Arranged marriages in India see parents leading efforts to find a suitable match for their children. The show has become a subject of memes and jokes, and criticism, on how individuals and their parents are picky and have a long list of demands that centre around factors like caste, height or skin colour.

The show “makes very clear how regressive Indian communities can be. Where sexism, casteism, and classism are a prevalent part of the process of finding a life partner,” wrote Twitter user Maunika Gowardhan.

Thousands of Twitter and Instagram posts echo that view. “The show is simply holding a mirror to the ugly society we are a part of,” Vishaka George, another Twitter user, wrote.

Created by Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra, the show focuses on matchmaker Taparia’s visits to the homes of families who need her assistance. After hearing their demands, she presents résumés of prospective matches and then arranges for meetings.

“The two families have their reputation and many millions of dollars at stake. So the parents guide their children,” Taparia says at one point in the show, referring to some of her wealthier clients.

In the first episode titled “Slim, Trim and Educated”, an Indian mother tells Taparia her son is getting a lot of marriage proposals but in most cases the prospective bride’s education or height was not ideal.

Just as Taparia says: “So you want a smart, outgoing, height ...” the mother interjects, “I won’t even consider (a girl) below 5 feet 3 inches.”

Some have praised the show for its honesty and treating its subjects respectfully.

“The hate against it is, frankly, baffling ... Indian Matchmaking is well on its way to becoming a cultural phenomenon,” a column in the Mint newspaper said.

Comments

M. Saeed Jul 21, 2020 02:00pm
Matches are made in t he heavens. Mach-makers are only the traders of worries.
Recommend (0)
Andrew Jul 21, 2020 02:31pm
This side of the border isn't much different when it comes to being judgemental either.
Recommend (0)
Chrís Dăn Jul 21, 2020 02:42pm
The whole sub-continent has this sad system.India,Pak8stan and Bengla Desh ,all three have this established traditional system.
Recommend (0)
Reshma Ghanekar Jul 21, 2020 04:40pm
Arranged marriages have lesser rate of failure than love marriages.
Recommend (0)
HashBrown® Jul 21, 2020 05:13pm
The funny thing is that must Hindustanis genuinely don't realise how regressive and primitive their culture actually is. The rishta scene in Pakistan isn't great, but it's paradise compared to what goes on over there...
Recommend (0)
Dr. Salaria, Aamir Ahmad Jul 21, 2020 05:37pm
Tip of the iceberg.
Recommend (0)
Muslim Skeptic Jul 21, 2020 06:50pm
What about so many women in the 'liberated' Western culture openly demanding 6'0 men, with 6 figure income? How's it any different from a family demanding 5'3 bride? Somehow, we are supposed to believe the former is just personal preference while the later is systemetic oppression!
Recommend (0)
Irshaad New York Jul 21, 2020 07:10pm
Netflix is only highlighting, in a humorous way, what really goes around, behind the scenes, in all Rishta affairs. Atleast some indians are willing to consider other religions, other languages and other communities. Even if, very cautiously and hesitatingly. That maybe an improvement ! Marriage is the most selfish choice a person can make, in their lifetimes. We can fault them for being chauvinistic, parochial, or plain whimsical .... but that is their life and their choice. !! We can only hope that a woman marries without duress and has the final choice. A partner chosen for life, is as personal as your toothbrush. No other one will do.
Recommend (0)
A shah Jul 21, 2020 07:30pm
I loved watching this. Indian culture is so rich and has so much history. Beautiful
Recommend (0)
Indie Guy Jul 21, 2020 07:42pm
The show showed the reality of the Indian culture. I cringed every time the matchmaker used a woman’s fair skin as a positive attribute. Terrible!
Recommend (0)
Siddhartha-Kolkata Jul 21, 2020 08:19pm
I agree. It's feudal culture percolating from the era of king , emperors and rulers. These rulers thrived by exploiting people and making a cultural division based on the money/social status.
Recommend (0)
Adil Jadoon Jul 21, 2020 09:02pm
It is all true though....we should try to improve ourselves rather than criticizing Netflix!
Recommend (0)
KSYED Jul 21, 2020 09:57pm
Same goes to pakistan. An article should be written on match making system in pakisyan.
Recommend (0)
RationalBabu Jul 21, 2020 10:03pm
An affliction shared by all on the subcontinent!
Recommend (0)
Rahul Jul 21, 2020 10:24pm
Personally I liked the series. There is nothing wrong with matchmaking service as was presented in the series. It is much better than the bumble, Plenty of Fish, Tinder etc. currently being used around the world.
Recommend (0)
Rahul Jul 21, 2020 10:25pm
Nothing wrong with the whole family involved with finding a match for the children.
Recommend (0)
Rahul Jul 21, 2020 10:27pm
It is a great service and should be available as a choice to everyone in the world.
Recommend (0)
Zakloser Jul 21, 2020 10:56pm
Thanks for showing light to backward India from the advanced civilization of this region.
Recommend (0)
madaiyan Jul 22, 2020 01:04am
Wealthy people are same through out the world! Look how Megan treated by royals and she had to literally run away from the palace..
Recommend (0)
Ss Jul 22, 2020 02:53am
It is not clear why we should expect everyone to live the way we do. If someone is conservative and traditional, surely they have a right to their way of life and their values so long as they don’t break a law.
Recommend (0)
Ron Jul 22, 2020 06:28am
You do realise this is made for television viewers. They have to make it salable. having said that most of the southeast Asian families follow the same culture of parents interfering in their kid's life.
Recommend (0)
Bravo Jul 22, 2020 08:02am
Sick. Concept of arranging marriages is misused. To some extent this happens in our country too.
Recommend (0)
Ajay Jul 22, 2020 08:12am
As if matchmaking doesn’t happen in Pakistan
Recommend (0)
ACEGIKtime Jul 22, 2020 09:06am
Matchmaking is highly materialistic and competitive just like Indian academics. Emotions and choices are sidelined. And it’s not parents and also prospective bride and groom also think that way, reasons are very ambitious lifestyle and dream of retiring early with luxurious options. You must have high double income and single child( child is also must and is part of ambition). This leads to more personal space and detached living, child becomes the holding glue.
Recommend (0)
Compulsive Jul 22, 2020 10:51am
Atleast they dont marry cousins
Recommend (0)
Fahad Jul 22, 2020 02:03pm
The stor is not very different on this side of the border. Statistics show that significant amount of female doctors do not end up practicing, just becuase the in laws wants a (trophy) doctor wife, who is expected to stay home and raise kids.
Recommend (0)
BN Anand Jul 22, 2020 02:11pm
Sir, there is nothing new being revealed in this show. These customs and choices in Matchmaking have been prevalent in society in different regions of the country for ages. Well if some one looks for a particular height , colour and academic background in any match making, it is the compatibility factor between boy and girl. Unnecessary hype being created about this show and about a system of matchmaking as if it were a new happening.
Recommend (0)
rsultan Jul 22, 2020 03:40pm
Works the same way in Pakistan. So why get critical about it? It is also a mirror on our fair & lovely, good family, new log, aspirational parents dominated society.
Recommend (0)
Think Twice Jul 22, 2020 04:17pm
It seems the survival of the fittest theory has been fully implemented with height, shape and color with desirable blood lines in full demand. Is it good or not, let society decide.
Recommend (0)
Vijay Jul 22, 2020 05:47pm
Is it any different in Pak?
Recommend (0)
Laila Jul 24, 2020 11:36am
I haven't seen the show but I dislike the concept of casteism or our own local zaat paat system. I don't understand this. Anyways I hope people can consider humans for being good humans with values, compatibility and integrity instead of just looks, family name, social status, wealth etc.
Recommend (0)
kotayya Jul 24, 2020 08:33pm
What way is Pakistan different from India in this respect.
Recommend (0)
Reader Jul 25, 2020 11:04pm
Whatever the elite may think, it is widely popular.
Recommend (0)