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Nausheen Shah spent 7 years battling depression. Now she's ready to talk about it

“We only ever want to talk about an actor’s sense of style, roles or controversies. And I’m sick of this," she tell me.
Updated 25 Jul, 2019


Nausheen Shah has spent the last few years deep in the trenches battling her anxiety and depression.

Roughly seven years ago, the actress first began to feel a sort of heaviness that would follow her throughout the day. At night she couldn’t fall asleep. She would cry all the time and stay holed up in her room a lot. There were even times when she felt like she could no longer read her scripts.

“I would start off at my shoot totally fine but all of a sudden I don’t know what would overcome me. Co-stars were having to rush me to the hospital,” she recalls. “It was a time of deep embarrassment. People thought I was pagal, like I had gone mental.”

But Nausheen had not, in fact, gone “mental”.

What she was actually experiencing was a panic attack, which is an episode of intense fear that is accompanied by ​at least four of a ​set of symptoms​. Some of the common symptoms can include an increased heart rate, sweating, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, and a fear that the person is losing control or “going crazy”.

The quick fix

When Nausheen went to a doctor, he didn’t bother to try and pinpoint what was causing her distress nor did he discuss with her treatment options (like medication coupled with cognitive behavioural therapy -- a frequent treatment for panic disorder).

Instead, he handed her a quick-fix in the form of a prescription for Lexotanil, which is a highly addictive anti-anxiety drug. She went for a second opinion. This doctor not only okay-ed the medication, he told her to take as many as she felt she needed.

Initially, the medicine brought nothing but relief. Anytime she felt the familiar pang of a panic attack coming on, she would take a pill and within ten minutes she would be blissfully and sufficiently numb enough to continue her day. But over time, she built up a tolerance to the Lexotanil. Eventually she was taking ten to twelve pills daily just to function.

Then, one day, she fell apart in front of Shahroze Sabzwari. She now credits him for essentially saving her life. When he asked her what was going on with her, she simply told him she could no longer do it -- any of it -- and, immediately, he got her an appointment with a doctor he trusted.

Pictured with Shahroze Sabzwari, who she credits for essentially saving her life
Pictured with Shahroze Sabzwari, who she credits for essentially saving her life

“This doctor told me I was definitely on the wrong meds,” she recalls. “The Lexotanil had been good in the moment but it came with massive withdrawals in the long run.”

This new doctor started Nausheen Shah on new, safer anti-anxiety medication. But, her struggle was not yet over. “The doctor advised that I spend time with myself, on myself. He told me to spend time thinking about what my triggers were,” she tells me.

While it was incredibly difficult to dig deep inside herself in this way, she pushed through the discomfort. By the time Ramadan came around this year she felt as if she had finally made a breakthrough.

“I finally realized that I need not only the right type of medication but that I also have to change a lot of bad habits, to get myself away from a lot of negativity, to start putting myself first, and, most importantly, I had to restore my connection with Allah,” she tells me. “Basically, I had to give up things that weren’t acceptable for my health and my religion.”


One day, she fell apart in front of Shahroze Sabzwari. She now credits him for essentially saving her life. When he asked her what was going on with her, she simply told him she could no longer do it -- any of it -- and, immediately, he got her an appointment with a doctor he trusted.


Today, Nausheen Shah is a different woman. She is completely focused on her career. She also spends a lot more time on her health. Right now she’s completing an online health class. And, she does yoga and pilates regularly. She also prays five times a day and has pretty much completely pulled out of the industry social scene for the sake of her sanity.

I ask if it’s tough now that her social orbit has shrunk? She tells me she has little interest nowadays in giving her energy to events and people that don’t matter. Plus, an alcohol and drug-fueled party circuit was never really her thing anyway. We talk about her recent appearance on Ahsan Khan’s talk show, which has since gone viral.

“Why should I be ashamed if I have a disorder?” she challenges me. “We only ever want to talk about an actor’s sense of style, her roles or her controversies. And I’m sick of this.”

Nausheen has found new priorities
Nausheen has found new priorities

I sense in her an underlying pit of outrage and so, I decide to probe further.

“Xanax and Lexotanil are being sold wily nily,” she astutely points out. “This is a country where we will happily smoke hash to calm ourselves down because we have no actual awareness of mental health and how to treat it. And the really good doctors are just not accessible [to regular people].”

She recalls the time she spent desperately trying to wean herself off of Lexotanil. At one point she went back, in a desperate bid for her life, to the same doctors that had prescribed her the Lexotanil in the first place.

“I remember saying to them, ‘you got me on this... now you get me off’ and I just remember them looking at me and saying ‘but, everyone takes it... it’s fine.’”

Pakistanis don't know how to talk about mental health, but Nausheen thinks that's changing

Being no stranger to the frustrating and complex world of psychopharmaceuticals, I offer up my own story about the time I was visiting Pakistan and went to the Lahore Airport pharmacy in search of a sleep aid. The guy behind the counter offered me Xanax because, according to him, that was what everyone takes to help them sleep.

I’m no stranger to Xanax. It’s something I’ve been prescribed in the past by my own doctor in Washington D.C. for my generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I know what Xanax can do to a person. Specifically, I remember the way it feels to try and wean off of it, which is why I remember standing there at the Lahore Airport with my mouth hanging open, shocked to see such a heavy duty, highly addictive sedative being sold so carelessly at a tiny stall.


“After my TV appearance, there was a huge and very positive response. I didn’t get a single message or call from someone telling me ​not to do this. Everyone was supportive and there were even people wanting the number of the doctor I see,” she recalls.


Still, I bought a ten-pack, feeling sadly defiant for having turned down the guy’s efforts to upsell me the sixty-pack.

A recent Washington Post article declared that “we live in the age of anxiety”. But even though so many are suffering, so few are getting the help that they so desperately need. And nowhere is under-treatment a reality than in Pakistan. According to one study, in western nations, one in six people receive proper treatment. In the developing world, this number plummets to one in 27 people.

While the exact prevalence of anxiety disorders in Pakistan has ​not been studied in-depth, a Karachi-based study from 2007 describes the high prevalence of anxiety as ​“alarming”​, particularly for women.

A 2016 ​report that reviewed studies from across Pakistan found that being a female was one of the major risk factors for developing anxiety and depression. This same report found the prevalence of anxiety and depression across Pakistan ranging anywhere from​ 22% to as high as 60%​.

I share these dismal (and likely, underreported) statistics with Nausheen Shah who remains hopeful.

“After my TV appearance, there was a huge and very positive response. I didn’t get a single message or call from someone telling me ​not to do this. Everyone was supportive and there were even people wanting the number of the doctor I see,” she recalls.

On Bol Nights with Ahsan Khan
On Bol Nights with Ahsan Khan

I ask if she thinks Pakistanis are ready to get real about mental health, to talk about the hard stuff that so many of us struggle with -- sometimes so openly.

Without so much as a pause, she tells me: “Pakistan is 100% ready.”

Comments

Gordon D. Walker Jul 25, 2019 08:38am
Actors are just average people subject to all of the ups and downs of us all.. Gordon D. Walker Canada
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Khan Jul 25, 2019 09:09am
100 % true and strong lady.Men are suffering from it equally.Taking pills is no cure.
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Najma Hisham Jul 25, 2019 10:09am
proud of her.
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Pakistani Jul 25, 2019 10:23am
She is a great actress. I love her dramas and some of her telefilms are so funny. She is a brilliant actress love her.
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Arshi Farooqui Jul 25, 2019 10:29am
I am worried that panic attacks or anxiety disorder took so much time for recovery. Although I am allopathic doctor but there are better ways to handle mental health issues with combination of current allopathic treatment plus alternate medicine. I have witnessed quick and lasting recovery by this combination approach rather than allopathic alone.
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Mekaiel shirazi Jul 25, 2019 11:22am
Proud of you Nausheen for your assertive effort in battling depression. May happiness follow you where ever you go !
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sam Jul 25, 2019 12:24pm
Thank you Dawn for your wonderful work to destigmatise mental health. Best wishes for Nausheen
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SWOT Jul 25, 2019 03:13pm
brave of her to shere her stuggles. would be great if we could talk about these issues openly without stigma
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Syedchaudhrygangadinkhan Jul 25, 2019 04:59pm
Who is listening?
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Amjad ali Jul 25, 2019 05:37pm
anxiety and deperession hit only those guys who are genious talented thinkfull and it sometime brought the humen being to a great great reality what the normal people cant think . So if you dont mind i feel sometime depression is importnt a little to humenbeing
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law minister Jul 25, 2019 07:03pm
This is what happens when you seek nirvana in worldly pleasures. Nausheen is a classic example of losing one's marbles because of excessive 'partying'.
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Hasan Jul 25, 2019 08:02pm
Celebrities and their issues
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Newborn Jul 25, 2019 09:30pm
Never heard of this woman.
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Maqsood ahmad Jul 26, 2019 01:12pm
Education about mental problems need to be given in schools and colleges because our young people are suffering and they don't know how and where to seek for treatment.All colleges and high schools should hire counsellers for psychological therapies.
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Abc Jul 26, 2019 04:53pm
I like nausheen shah..she is one of the most beautiful actress in Pakistan. Maybe because she is a pure/ real Pashtun woman most of them are Very good looking though bit conservative because of the tradition.. Asim from Nepal
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Fatima Jul 29, 2019 10:41pm
Who would know it better than the one who's been going through bouts of anxiety herself for years and a brother of hers is an OCD patient. But lemme tell you there's a dearth of professionals in this field or if there's any is absolutely out of reach. This circuit starting from visiting a psychologist to psychiatrist to therapist is exhausting. Many lost their lives in between. I'd request @mariakari1414 to connect me through her specialist if possible. Much Thanks!
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