Instead of a single party or an elaborate themed celebration, Nafees shared a carousel on Instagram documenting a series of moments that stretched across countries, family traditions and small gestures meant to last longer than cake and balloons.

“Our little guy’s first birthday was something we had been planning for a while,” she wrote, explaining that the idea was to create memories Eesa could one day look back on through photos and videos.

Photoshoot

The celebrations began with something very on-brand for the toddler: a birthday photoshoot in the pool. According to Nafees, water has recently become Eesa’s favourite place, so naturally, the family leaned into it.

Travel

But the birthday adventures did not stop there. Nafees revealed that the family also took Eesa to see not one but two new countries — Brazil and Paraguay.

Charity

The more sentimental aspects of the celebration, however, took place closer to home. Eesa’s maternal grandparents, along with other relatives, marked the day at an orphanage, celebrating with children who might not otherwise have the opportunity to do so.

The choice was deliberate. Nafees explained that she and her husband had also hosted their valima at an orphanage, and since then they have tried to mark major occasions by spending them with children who receive little attention or donations. She encouraged followers to consider doing the same whenever possible.

His paternal grandparents also placed a copy of the Holy Quran in a mosque in his name.

Keepsakes

Other gestures focused on preserving memories of Eesa’s first year. His tiny handprints and footprints were taken — a classic keepsake that many parents swear by.

Meaningful, not luxurious gifts

During a visit to Parque das Aves, a bird park in Brazil known for its vibrant wildlife, Eesa’s father picked up a blue macaw soft toy for him, a nod to the colourful birds the family encountered during their tour.

Funds for the future

Nafees also shared that the family is thinking long-term when it comes to their son’s future. Just as they have been investing his birth gifts and Eidi money, they made a contribution in his name on his birthday — another gesture meant to benefit him in the years to come.

Intimate gatherings

Back home in Pakistan, friends of Eesa’s maternal grandmother also marked the occasion during an iftar gathering, ensuring the birthday was celebrated across continents and communities.

The actor ended her post on a grateful note, thanking friends, family and followers for their prayers, messages and calls. “He is truly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people,” she wrote, asking supporters to continue keeping her son in their prayers.

For parents scrolling through the carousel, the takeaway is simple, a child’s birthday does not have to be a grand party, it can include travel (if one can afford to), charity, and putting money aside for their future.

Maybe it was the sight of children swarming the welcome stall, trying on multi-coloured light-up glasses with serious intent. Or the next table over, where tiny hands were carefully selecting charms for customised bracelets, faces scrunched in concentration.

But the real shift happened the minute I stepped into the main hall.

The lights dimmed. Laser beams cut softly through the space. Parents and toddlers danced shoulder to shoulder to Bruno Mars and Rosé’s ‘APT’. A human-sized Donald Duck hovered near the DJ booth. And towering above it all was a massive LED screen flashing: Toddler Techno Rave — officially ushering in Pakistan’s very first rave for toddlers.

Yes, you read that right.

On Sunday evening, Wonderwhirl, a kids’ café and play space, hosted a toddler rave in collaboration with Motherhood Edit. The concept was inspired by Sydney-based DJ Lenny Pearce’s viral toddler raves, but carefully adapted for little Karachiites.

Wonderwhirl positions itself as more than just a play area — it’s an immersive community space designed for both children and parents, something its founder, Urmea Farrukh, felt was sorely missing.

“I feel like there are very few places that support the kids and the parents and that’s what I want this place to be,” she told me.

From a soft-play corner and jungle gym to a mini market area for role-play and learning, the space caters to children from as young as 10 months to 10 years. But it doesn’t stop there. While the kids are occupied, parents aren’t left hovering on the sidelines. There’s a spa space for mothers, pre- and post-natal workshops, mom and kid Zumba sessions, etc, putting in an intentional effort to make parents feel included.

“We provide a lot of platforms for even young moms to come and connect. We do a lot of workshops not only for that, but also for their career building, if they’re lost in life, anything,” Farrukh explained.

In the month and a half since opening, the team noticed one thing clearly: children were most responsive to music-centric activities. That observation sparked the idea to experiment with a toddler rave.

The pilot event was divided into two one-hour sessions, from 4 to 5pm and 6 to 7pm, ticketed at Rs5,000 for a parent-child pair and hosted within Wonderwhirl’s own child-proofed space. Every corner was thoughtfully planned: a nail bar, face-painting station, charm bar, family photo booth, coffee bar for parents, and even a decompression room for overstimulated little ones. At the centre of it all was the dance floor — turning the event into less of “just another dance party” and more of a fully immersive, multi-sensory experience.

Wherever you looked, a child was mid-joy: faces being painted with utmost seriousness, balloons skittering across the floor, toddlers parading in glowing glasses, or families dancing together without a shred of self-consciousness. Case in point: the ‘Baby Shark’ remix by Uzair Bhatti of Wuzi Beats, a Karachi-based DJ known for curated events, which sent the entire room (including the coffee baristas) into a collective fit of delight.

I’ll admit, before attending, I was sceptical. Loud music, lights, and toddlers; it sounded like a recipe for meltdowns. I half-expected tears, overstimulation, and parents doing damage control.

Instead? Not a single crying child. (I know — shocking.)

That calm didn’t happen by accident. Farrukh and her team were meticulous about sensory limits.

“So we kind of had a meeting with him [Bhatti] before we kind of finalised everything […] we had to cap the decibels, the sound decibels to a certain number. We decided that we’re going to start with 75. And the max it’s going to go to is 110,” she explained.

They also followed Pearce’s model of pacing — starting slow, building energy gradually, and weaving in calming moments like a gentle rendition of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ to create, as Farrukh put it, “moments in between of calm”.

For children who needed a breather, a separate party room doubled as a decompression space. With blinds drawn, soft toys scattered across insulated flooring, and dim lighting, it offered a quiet retreat away from the rave floor.

Even the lighting was intentional. Instead of strobe or disco lights, the team opted for lasers, enough to spark excitement without overwhelming young senses.

And the energy? It worked.

The kids were clearly having the time of their lives. But perhaps more surprisingly, so were the parents. This wasn’t one of those playdates where adults awkwardly hover, clapping on cue. Parents were dancing, laughing, fully present, enjoying themselves just as much as their children.

One moment captured it perfectly. A little girl stood shyly near the DJ booth, floaty in hand, unsure of what to do. Her parents gently encouraged her — and then Pearce’s version of the ‘Barney Theme Song’ kicked in.

“That is our song!” her father exclaimed excitedly. Her face lit up and what followed was a spontaneous, joyous father-daughter dance moment, exactly the kind of family bonding the organisers had hoped to create.

As the session wrapped up, five lucky children won golden tickets to Olmec’s chocolate factory, ending the evening on yet another high.

Farrukh, who recently moved back to Karachi from Canada with her husband and son, said the idea for Wonderwhirl was born from personal frustration.

When she returned, she realised there were very few spaces that felt innovative, immersive — and, as she put it, “quite frankly also safe and clean”. So she built one herself.

Beyond events like the toddler rave, Farrukh envisions Wonderwhirl as an open, inclusive space, including for children with special needs, rooted in the idea that play, joy, and community should be accessible to all.

All photos by Shahnawaz Photography

“He looked at me and said ‘you can still pay your medical bills. I will fight for those’,” as she was entitled to paid maternity leave along with reimbursement of her hospital bills. Having worked at the company for almost a year, with a promotion and increment in June 2025, Kiran wasn‘t sure what prompted the sudden dissolution of her position. Her work and demeanour in the office were criticised during the meeting, but she said she hadn’t been asked to review her performance since June, nor had she faced any criticism from her manager.

However, it was common at her workplace to dismiss women or put their performance under review after maternity leave, hers being the first instance of a woman being fired before taking maternity leave.

The same month, Zainab Zahrah Awan won a landmark case against Embrace IT, a private tech company, which was fined Rs1 million for terminating her employment while she was on maternity leave. According to the Federal Ombudsperson for Protection Against Harassment (FOSPAH), a federal official to whom women can file confidential, fast-tracked complaints if they face harassment or gender-based discrimination at work, “dismissing a woman during maternity leave could fall under the category of gender discrimination”.

The Maternity and Paternity Leave Act, 2023 guarantees federal-sector women employees up to 180 days of paid leave for the first child, 120 days for the second, and 90 days for the third, while men receive 30 days on all three occasions. The law criminalises non-compliance, with penalties of up to six months’ imprisonment or fines of up to Rs100,000. Yet, as Federal Ombudsperson for Protection Against Harassment Fauzia Viqar observed, “While laws exist, awareness and compliance remain weak, especially in the private sector. Many employers still view maternity leave as a concession rather than a right.”

Legal gaps and reality

The ombudsperson is “making this understanding part of workplace culture through both enforcement and education”. In 2024 her office conducted over 300 awareness sessions across the country to educate both employers and employees.

But the gap between law and lived reality is vast. Kiran did not file a complaint. “To be honest, I‘m scared of being branded as being difficult. As somebody who people are afraid to hire because she will make a scene later.”

Most of the people interviewed for this article did not know where to take their complaints. “The legal system of Pakistan is very daunting and tedious,” said one father. He’s right — the legal battle is indeed technical.

“First, one would need to check their province and then determine the jurisdiction. This can only be guided by a lawyer,” explained Fatima Butt, a high court lawyer based in Islamabad.

Fauzia Yazdani, a senior gender adviser for the UNDP, calls it a governance failure. “Our institutional governance structures have grown weaker and weaker. We do not have a rule of law, and implementation of law has been on the decline.”

Across provinces, maternity protection remains patchy: Punjab still follows its 1981 Leave Rules allowing 90 days or just over 12 weeks. Khyber Pakhtunkhwa’s 2013 Act grants 12 weeks, while Balochistan (14 weeks) and Sindh (12 weeks) have their own laws with varying enforcement. As Yazdani noted, “Women as a subject were devolved post-18th Amendment, so each province now has its own framework.”

For mothers like Kiran, the legal paperwork means little when your livelihood hinges on a manager’s mood. “Employers must understand that anticipating motherhood is not a valid reason to end employment,” Viqar said. “Doing so violates both the letter and the spirit of the law.”

When motherhood becomes a workplace taboo

In Pakistan, a job interview may come with a side of probing questions — “Are you planning a family?”, “How will you manage with a baby/child/toddler?” — that often decide career paths for women.

When Asmara*, an electrical engineer from Lahore, told her manager that she was pregnant, she didn’t expect the silent shift that followed. “My line manager slowly kept me out of the loop and presented my performance so badly that they suddenly promoted another person instead of me,” she said. “I felt so insulted that I had to resign.”

Asmara’s story isn’t rare. Journalist and labour expert Aoun Abbas Sahi explained that the private sector’s structural and cultural biases often work in tandem to push women out of the workforce. “There is no knowledge about maternity laws. The number of labour inspectors is minimal, and they have vast areas [to cover]. They don’t have enough resources to visit factories or talk to people,” he said.

According to the International Labour Organisation (ILO) Convention No 81 on labour inspection, which Pakistan ratified in 1953, the role of labour inspectors is central to ensuring decent working conditions. Under the convention, inspectors are supposed to enforce labour laws and guide both employers and workers on the most effective ways to comply with those standards. Yet, according to Sahi, there aren’t enough inspectors or resources to oversee the public and private sectors of Pakistan.

According to the Centre for Labour Research, Pakistan has 517 labour inspectors for 10.63 million formal-sector workers, meaning one inspector for every 20,560 workers. The math isn’t promising — if the entire 65.5 million labour force is counted, each inspector is responsible for around 127,000 workers.

Ombudsperson Viqar agrees that women are often fired for pregnancy. “Discrimination does not always appear as a direct act; it can also manifest as subtle, systemic exclusion,” she said. “When women are penalised for pregnancy through increased workload, loss of opportunity, or hostile attitudes, these behaviours fall within the definition of harassment and gender-based discrimination.”

However, this discrimination often hides behind polite HR language, such as “team realignment,” “budget constraints,” or “performance review”.

The neglect often also extends to basic workplace amenities. “Separate washrooms, childcare rooms, even simple facilities like private nursing spaces rarely exist,“ Sahi explained. He said sometimes daycare centres amount to little more than “token rooms” with two plastic toys and no ventilation, just to show compliance to the authorities.

For Syra*, a senior NGO professional in Islamabad working on a women empowerment project, the bias was more emotional than explicit. Her complicated pregnancy meant she worked from home on the doctor’s orders. “They graciously allowed that, but there was an unsaid expectation to over-perform and prove that I was working,” she recalled. “Even though I was taking precautions and working long hours, I felt like I was under surveillance.”

Upon returning from six months of maternity leave, Syra found herself clashing with her manager over basic accommodations. “I asked if I could continue hybrid work since my child was breastfeeding,” she said. “Instead of empathy, I was told, ‘Tum pe itna ehsaan kiya hai. [We have done so much for you]. We gave you paid leave!’ The organisation offered a ‘nursery,’ a dusty room with a small carpet and one table. It was humiliating. I eventually resigned,” she said.

Yazdani called this a “regressive gender-normative penalty”. “When we do not see women as equal persons, we don’t see them as equally productive professionals,” she explained. “That’s why they’re excluded from promotions or given subtle penalties after pregnancy.”

Women across sectors, from NGOs to tech firms, describe the same cycle: pregnancy leads to suspicion, leave leads to resentment, and return leads to erasure. “Even if women get maternity leave, the moment they come back, they’re told their seat’s been moved, their team reassigned, or their performance reviewed,” said one HR executive at a tech corporation who requested anonymity.

Sahi, the journalist, believes it all stems from the absence of accountability: “No one is monitoring compliance, and no one is penalising non-compliance.”

Why working women matter

In a country where only 23 per cent of women participate in the labour force, the loss of each employed woman is not just a personal setback; it’s a national one. “Employers must see maternity [leave] not as a liability but as a shared societal responsibility,” said Viqar. “Supporting mothers through flexible policies, inclusive leadership, and respect for family life is not only a legal duty, it’s good for business, [employee] retention, and workplace morale.”

Globally, the numbers are unambiguous: the World Bank estimates that increasing women’s participation in the workforce could raise GDP by over 20pc in developing economies. Yet in Pakistan, despite higher female enrolment in universities, women continue to vanish from the job market once they marry or have children.

This gendered exit is visible across sectors, from engineering to education, journalism to development. As Asmara, who was forced to resign from her engineering firm, puts it: “They post about women’s equality every March, but when you get pregnant, you become replaceable.”

Her words echo the Khushhali Microfinance Bank case decided by FOSPAH in 2024, where senior executive Amina Hassan was forced to resign after a successful 20-year career. The ombudsperson’s final order noted that she was “denied a severance package that was granted to all male employees before and after her,” terming it “discrimination based on gender”. The decision reaffirmed that equal treatment at every stage, from recruitment to termination, is part of Pakistan’s constitutional guarantees of dignity and equality.

However, equality on paper has yet to become a reality in practice. “You can have the best laws in the world, but if HR departments are afraid of male management, they’re just letters on paper,” Asmara said. “Eighty to 90 per cent of engineering firms have HRs that can’t act independently.”

Yazdani explained that Pakistan’s governance structures have collapsed in terms of accountability. “Implementation of law has been on a decline. We have no monitoring, no compliance audits, no culture of enforcement,” she said. “Maternity leave is not a favour; it’s part of a woman’s reproductive health rights recognised under Article 14 of the Constitution as part of the right to life and dignity.”

For many organisations, especially those in the private sector, compliance is often viewed as optional. Yet, women’s contributions to Pakistan’s economy remain vital and undervalued. According to a 2021 UNDP report, if Pakistan matched men’s labour force participation rates, its GDP could increase by 60pc. “We cannot reach economic stability by excluding half our population,” said Viqar. “Women bring perspective, productivity, and persistence qualities the economy desperately needs.”

For fathers, too, the 2023 Act marks a shift: for the first time, men are entitled to 30 days of paternity leave on three occasions. But the cultural shame surrounding men taking that leave still lingers. A father who was interviewed for this article and works in finance said, “When my wife was expecting, I was told, ‘why do you need a month off? You’re not the one giving birth.’”

He took it anyway. “My manager didn’t speak to me for weeks. But I wanted to be there. It’s as much my responsibility.” While the law recognises that parenting is shared labour, society has yet to catch up.

The mental load

Behind every maternity leave denial or ‘voluntary’ resignation is an emotional toll that few workplaces acknowledge. The anxiety of losing income, identity, and professional standing during what should be a protected time leaves long-lasting scars.

For Syra, the NGO professional whose employer berated her for asking to work from home after her newborn was born, the aftermath was devastating. “I gave six years of my life to this organisation. When I resigned, they asked me to pay a full month’s salary for not serving the required notice period. I was emotionally exhausted. It wasn’t just about the job, it was about dignity,” she said.

The stress didn’t end with resignation. “I would wake up feeling anxious about being judged as unreliable. Even after months, I felt guilt for prioritising my child over work,” she admitted.

Internationally certified mental wellbeing coach and trainer Amna Shaukat Ansari described this as “a form of postpartum occupational trauma”. She explained that when maternity leave is treated as a professional inconvenience, women internalise the blame. “The concept of ‘bouncing back’ makes it traumatising for mothers to talk about the invisible struggles they face daily just so they can financially support their family,” she said.

According to a study published in the Nursing for Women’s Health journal, Pakistani women have one of the highest prevalence rates of postpartum depression (PPD) in Asia, with rates ranging from 28pc to 63pc. Beyond women, PPD has a substantial negative influence on infants and families — a number that spikes when financial insecurity or job loss accompanies childbirth. Cultural silence makes it worse: women hesitate to discuss workplace-induced anxiety, fearing they’ll be seen as “weak”.

Even women with supportive employers face mental strain. Aisha Ali, a journalist at The Centrum Media, described her return to work as an identity crisis. “I wasn’t the same person I left the office as. It took me a while to acclimate. My reality had changed. I was juggling a baby and a newsroom that never slept,” she said.

Gender norms also deny men the emotional vocabulary to share parental stress. While the Maternity and Paternity Leave Act, 2023 includes 30 days of paternity leave, most men hesitate to avail it. “When I took time off after my wife’s delivery, my colleagues laughed,” shared one father. “They said, ‘You’re acting like a housewife.’”

But even in this uneven landscape, some men are quietly challenging the status quo. One father interviewed said, “My child was in the NICU for 10 days, and I had no clue how to manage work. Every day, I would go from the office to the hospital, and my manager would tell me, ‘you’ve already taken casual leave.’ Those 10 days were the hardest of my life.“ Another, a third-party contract worker, recalled being threatened with termination for taking time off during his wife‘s delivery: ”My supervisor said, ’If you don’t show up tomorrow, don‘t come back.’“

Psychotherapist Shifa Lodhi believes these stories reveal how gendered policies harm families, not just women. “Fathers experience pressure to perform at work when the family needs them most. When men aren’t given space to share care responsibilities, it reinforces toxic masculinity and isolates mothers further. Shared leave and empathy must be the norm, not the exception,” she said.

Mental well-being coach Ansari agreed, adding, “If companies can spend on retreats, they can also spend on organising intimate sessions with fathers to help during and after pregnancy. When men take paternity leave, it reduces stigma for women and promotes true workplace equality.”

“It’s not about special treatment,” said Syra, the NGO professional. “It’s about basic understanding that a woman recovering from childbirth can’t immediately handle 10-hour days or field visits.” The experts interviewed for this article say this systemic stress feeds into Pakistan’s larger mental health crisis. When women leave the workforce because of maternity discrimination, they lose more than income; they lose identity, confidence, and a sense of purpose. This loss reverberates across families and society, deepened by a cultural guilt that punishes women whether they choose to work or stay home.

Even in sectors where maternity leave is in place on paper, women describe workplaces where empathy is lacking. As Sahi noted, “The management is mostly men. They don’t want to understand because resources are involved. Instead of accountability, there’s avoidance.”

The impact is cumulative. Women absorb the tension, question their worth, and retreat from ambition. At this point, it’s not just a “women’s issue” — it’s a public health one.

What happens when employers get it right?

Fortunately, not every maternity story ends in frustration or resignation; empathy and success are not always at odds with each other.

Shaheera, a journalist from Karachi, remembers being terrified to tell her employer she was pregnant. “I had only been at the organisation for six months. I thought they’d think I was irresponsible for not waiting longer,” she said. But when she finally did, her manager congratulated her and told her to take all the time she needed. She later headed a project as well.

That sense of loyalty and motivation is echoed by Aisha Ali, a journalist who returned to work at The Centrum Media after maternity leave. “I was scared, but my editor made sure I was part of every meeting even while I was on leave. They checked in not about deadlines but about my health,” she said. “When I rejoined, I was never made to feel behind.”

This simple act of inclusion made Shaheera and Aisha “more productive and more loyal than ever”.

Ansari believes such practices are transformative. HR’s role goes beyond processing maternity leave forms; it’s also about creating an emotionally safe culture where women feel seen, valued, and respected throughout pregnancy and after returning to work. This can include setting up check-ins before and after maternity leave, offering flexible work options, and training team leaders in empathy and communication to prevent insensitive comments or exclusion from projects, she said.

A simple gesture, such as asking “how can we support you better?” can make a significant difference. “Maternity transitions should be treated as a normal life stage, not a professional disruption,” said the mental well-being coach.

International research supports this experience. The ILO and World Economic Forum both highlight that companies offering paid parental leave see higher employee retention and productivity. According to the ILO, when women are supported through maternity and return-to-work transitions, they are far more likely to remain in the workforce and stay with the same employer.

Solutions and global perspective

Pakistan‘s struggle to implement maternity protection laws is not just a legal and structural problem — it’s one that requires reform on several levels. Experts and officials agree that the path forward must combine legislative clarity, institutional accountability, and cultural change.

Labour journalist Sahi described the country’s enforcement system as “very weak”. He pointed out that even in unions, women’s issues remain marginal and unmonitored, making implementation largely symbolic. Sahi suggested that digitised labour inspection and online complaint systems could make enforcement more transparent and accessible, especially for women in the private sector.

At the federal level, FOSPAH has attempted to bridge that gap by conducting awareness sessions across the country to promote compliance with maternity and anti-discrimination laws. The ombudsperson’s office has also begun penalising private firms that dismiss women during maternity leave, signalling that gender-based employment discrimination can fall under the definition of workplace harassment.

Meanwhile, Yazdani believes governance remains the biggest obstacle. She explained that Pakistan’s maternity protections vary by province, and the absence of unified enforcement mechanisms leaves private sector employees vulnerable to exploitation. She called for stronger compliance audits and consistent provincial implementation to ensure that maternity leave is treated as a right, not a favour.

Globally, Pakistan has plenty of examples to emulate. Sweden’s shared parental-leave system, Bangladesh’s six-month paid maternity leave with strict enforcement, and new parental-leave policies in the Philippines and Vietnam all show that childcare is a national infrastructure. When states invest in supporting parents, more women return to work and productivity rises.

This cultural reset is crucial for Pakistan’s future. The core of the issue is that maternity leave is not a pause in productivity; it’s part of life itself. Until Pakistan recognises that, no law will truly protect its working women.

*Names changed to maintain anonymity

The cosmetics industry and parts of the internet have been abuzz since the launch of Rini earlier this month, a beauty company pitched at children as young as three and backed by Canadian actor Shay Mitchell.

Its bundle of five child hydrating face masks, including “everyday” varieties named Puppy, Panda, and Unicorn, sells for around $35 (30 euros) on its website.

Another growing US-based brand, Eve­r­eden, sells products for pre-teens such as face mists, toners, and moisturisers, and claims annual sales of over 100 million dollars.

Fifteen-year-old American YouTuber Salish Matter unveiled her brand “Sincerely Yours” in October, drawing tens of thousands of people — and police reinforcements — to a launch event at a New Jersey mall.

“Children’s skin does not need cosmetics, apart from daily hygiene products — toothpaste and shower gel — and sun cream when there is exposure,” said Laurence Coiffard, a researcher at the University of Nantes in France who co-runs the Cosmetics Watch website.

Child-focused beauty products are part of a broad society-wide trend.

Many girls in Gen Alpha — a marketing term for youngsters born between 2010 and 2024 — are adopting skincare, make-up, and hair routines more typical of older teenagers or their mothers.

The most precocious have become known as “Sephora Kids” — a reference to the popular French beauty retailer — as they seek to emulate popular TikTok or YouTube influencers, some of whom are as young as seven.

Coiffard cited research showing child users of adult cosmetics and creams had a higher risk of developing skin allergies in later life, as well as being exposed to endocrine disruptors and phytoestrogens, which can disrupt hormone development.

‘Get ready with me’

Molly Hales, an American dermatologist at Northwestern University in Chicago, spent several months posing on TikTok as a girl of 13 who was interested in beauty routines.

After creating a profile and liking several videos made by minors, the algorithm of the Chinese-owned site “saturated” her and fellow researcher Sarah Rigali.

The duo went on to watch 100 videos in total from 82 different profiles.

In one case, a child smeared 14 different products on her face before developing a burning rash.

Another showed a girl rising at 4:30am to complete her skincare before school.

The most popular videos were titled “Get Ready with Me”, with the routines featuring on average six different products, often including adult anti-ageing creams.

“I was shocked by the scope of what I was seeing in these videos, especially the sheer number of products that these girls were using,” Hales said. Her research was published in the US journal Paediatrics in June.

Several “disproportionately represented” brands, such as Glow, Drunk Elephant and The Ordinary, market themselves as healthy, supposedly natural alternatives to chemical-laden competitors.

Originally published in Dawn, November 29th, 2025.

Cover photo via Rini/Instagram

Digital creator by trade, husband to another influencer with-a-larger-following-than-himself by relationship status, father to a toddler, and a self-proclaimed victim to — wait for it — postpartum.

You don’t see the problem yet? Let me break it down.

What exactly is postpartum?

For those who may be unaware, postpartum refers to the period after childbirth that a mother goes through, as her body tries to recover from the massive trauma it underwent during pregnancy, delivery and beyond.

Etymologically, the word ‘postpartum’ comes from Latin, with “post” meaning “after” and “partum” meaning “birth”.

So no, Azlan, it cannot be taken as a philosophical birth; it specifically means the literal, physical act of giving birth.

I can go into the details of what exactly the process of giving birth entails, from which recovery is needed during the postpartum period. However, as important a topic as that is, it will likely make a lot of the people (read: men) reading this squirm in their seats.

And as much as I enjoy seeing the privileged feel uncomfortable at the mere mention of facts about the bodies and experiences of those different from them (which are things that should have been common knowledge by now anyway), I also need to be mindful of the restrictions posed by word limits and dwindling attention spans.

So, for now, let’s just briefly recap the few major components of this process for the education for all the Azlan Shahs out there.

The trauma a mother’s body carries

The uterus typically weighs 55 to 60 grammes pre-pregnancy, and by the time of delivery, it multiplies in size to nearly a whole kilogramme. That is between 14 to 20 times its original size.

During postpartum, it shrinks to return to its pre-pregnancy size and condition. This involves physical cramps (also known as “afterpains”), especially while breastfeeding.

Speaking of the uterus, its contractions are painful, yet important even post-delivery to prevent bleeding from becoming heavy enough that it escalates into postpartum haemorrhage.

Then come the hormonal shifts.

Delivery causes the body to undergo some of the rapidest hormonal drops in human biology. When pregnant, oestrogen rises to anywhere between 100 to 1,000 times the usual level, and progesterone rises by up to 30 times. After childbirth, both of these plummet sharply within just hours — with this rapid crash usually leading to emotional sensitivity, night sweats, temperature changes, depression, anxiety, vaginal dryness, and the all too common ‘baby blues’ experienced by an estimated 85 per cent of all mothers.

On the other hand, cortisol rises during pregnancy and usually declines after birth, though it may stay elevated in some women with chronic stress, nutrient deprivation or sleep disruption. Prolactin and oxytocin surge around delivery and during breastfeeding, supporting milk production, bonding, and uterine recovery.

These hormonal shifts, combined with the demands of newborn care (which disproportionately fall on the already exhausted mother’s shoulders, especially in Pakistan), create a complex mix of symptoms, such as fluctuating stress levels, fatigue, sleep changes, libido shifts, and altered affection. This is in addition to the largely-overlooked, unstable thyroid hormone that can cause postpartum thyroiditis and other complications.

All these hormones increase, decrease, and/or fluctuate naturally during and after childbirth, and some are further affected by lactation and environmental factors.

Imagine the uncertainty. The unprecedented pace of constant (and largely uncontrollable) change that the mother’s body goes through. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. We haven’t even touched upon labour pain, vaginal tearing/C-section surgery, mastitis, pelvic floor damage, or the multifaceted psychosocial stressors that are especially exacerbated in cultures such as ours — making a woman’s postpartum life harder than it already happens to be. Mind you, all of this is about the ‘normal’ postpartum period, which every single biological mother goes through. Meanwhile, the everliving ghost of postpartum depression continues to lurk as another possible form of struggle linked to motherhood, and a very common one at that.

Twenty-eight to 63pc of mothers experience postpartum depression in Pakistan.

“But what does Azlan Shah have to do with this?” Nothing, and yet, unfortunately, everything.

‘Postpartum for dads’

Last week, Shah made the absurd choice to put up a since-deleted carousel post on Instagram captioned, “Let’s talk about postpartum… for dads.”

Really? Did you give birth to the child?

“The Dad Version of Postpartum, the part no one talks about,” read the first slide, featuring a picture of him with his wife, Warisha Javed, who is holding their baby in her arms.

The 10-slide post moved through more such pictures of either the three of them together or of him alone with the baby, while one showed Javed alone on a hospital bed.

Many men don’t often post their partners and children online very much, so the opposite happening here could’ve been considered a small sign of healthy masculinity. However, Shah had other plans.

Instead, he chose to add accompanying text with each picture that sought to illustrate how supposedly difficult men have it when it comes to dealing with — yes, you guessed it right — postpartum.

What made it worse was how the post seemingly equated the very unique and stark physiological changes a mother goes through during pregnancy and postpartum, with the real yet nowhere near comparable emotional changes a father may experience during the same period.

If he really wanted to shed light on a father’s struggles with respect to new parenthood, he could’ve easily done so without misusing a term that doesn’t apply to him. The right term for that would be perinatal/paternal postnatal depression. The fact that he chose to instead hijack an issue that even mothers don’t get a fraction of support for screams attention-seeking laced with fragile masculinity and misogyny. “Because healing and support aren’t just for moms,” the post concluded by saying.

Theoretically speaking, this is absolutely true. However, we live in a country where countless mothers are expected to go back to looking like their pre-pregnancy selves within weeks and be responsible for all childcare and general domestic labour, even after going through nine months of life-altering bodily changes. Conversely, it is quite socially acceptable for fathers to not share the labour of changing diapers and taking care of the baby’s (or his partner’s) other needs, and still receive praise and support for the minuscule effort of participating in conceiving the child and (sometimes) looking after the financial needs of the family.

In this environment, does it not feel like a slap in the faces of mothers to first go through all that they do, not get enough community support to deal with it, and then be robbed of the one word that is meant to give their distinctly difficult early experiences a name?

It feels like an exercise in futility and needless frustration to quote every single sentence from Shah’s post and explain why it doesn’t make any sense, so I will not do that. Instead, what I will do is ask the men reading this: why do you feel the need to hijack issues that have nothing to do with you?

Why do you feel threatened when women take the initiative to publicly talk about problems that they are either solely or disproportionately affected by, especially to the extent that you end up centring yourself in that discourse?

I am all for men being vulnerable and seeking support, but it cannot happen at the cost of trivialising the horrors that women often have to go through in those situations.

In a society where men already feel like they are doing their wives — and, perhaps, women in general — a favor by so much as pouring themselves a glass of water every once in a while or by ‘babysitting’ their kids to ‘help’ their wives singlehandedly take on what should be the partnered job of parenting, social media posts like Shah’s further recede the bar of expectations women are socioculturally allowed to hold from men.

Proof of this lies in a comment made by his wife on the same post, glorifying her husband’s half-baked take.

Then there are the accusations that Shah copied the entire post without giving the original creator credit, which if true, meant that he took both a word that does not belong to him but also someone else’s ideas and intellectual (no matter how half baked) effort. At this point, the bar is truly 350 feet underground.

Chasing clout

The thing about gender roles and social conditioning in a patriarchal environment such as ours is that when a woman is shamed for doing something supposedly wrong, she more often than not has enough humility to apologise.

She apologises even when she shouldn’t — which applies frequently, because women are often shamed just for existing rather than doing something ethically wrong.

On the other hand, men often not only commonly lack this humility but also possess the uniquely unwanted and perverse talent of doubling down on their problematic behaviours.

This point of sociological analysis bears relevance here because Azlan Shah is proving to be a living example of it.

Mere days after being rightly shamed into taking down the postpartum post from Instagram (while still keeping it up on Facebook) and being criticised elsewhere online for posting it in the first place, we already have something new to be mad at him for.

Taking to his Instagram stories recently, he shared an “important” announcement: “I am getting married again”.

A desperate “My wife has consented to it” followed this explosive statement. Perhaps the desperation lay in the entire story itself. Desperate for attention, for views, for clicks, clout and celebrity page speculation.

With social media being an integral enough part of so many people’s lives that there’s the “attention economy” exists, I get why content creators want attention, views, clicks and clout. These things fuel their lifestyles, and trying to earn money to live comfortably is as basic a desire as it gets, which isn’t a problem. The problem arises when their content becomes problematic, and Shah’s content has become problematic.

It is content aligned with patriarchal notions, wrapped in a layer of feminist concepts like consent and men’s mental health in order to avert backlash over what he’s saying.

I could go deeper into this analysis, but here comes another plot twist: Shah isn’t actually engaging in polygamy, at least not filhaal. He announced along with his wife through a video posted two days ago that his story on this topic was referring to getting “remarried” to his first and only wife, on account of their third wedding anniversary coming up.

Oh wow! A joke so good, I can totally see a career for him in stand-up comedy — because all the people of decent mental capacity would surely stand up and walk out of the room upon hearing such tasteless humour!

It is nearly the end of 2025 — when will men start learning that patriarchal pranks are not funny? Announcing that you are getting remarried, with or without your wife’s consent, is not a new sport for Pakistani men, and for Shah to chase clout by treating such a serious issue as a frivolous prank makes one question the standard we’ve set for men across the board, because if Shah, as a man who claims to love his wife, is resorting to such misogynistic and lazy self-promotion tactics, how abysmal must the state of other not-so-nice men be?

It is a question that men like Shah, and those worse than him (which exist aplenty), must reflect on if they want to keep the hope of ending up with a woman alive. Because, as I type this, Pakistani women are posting comments calling out Shah for his insufferability — with some jokingly hypothesising this being a consequence of his ‘postpartum’.

Amidst this entire fiasco, one positive thing has emerged — we are finally seeing women in greater numbers having the political consciousness required to recognise such inexcusable attention-seeking endeavours for what they really are, which is in large part thanks to the thankless labour of feminist movements worldwide, especially those in Pakistan.

While it remains to be seen whether the reaction to his post and ‘joke’ will stop him from posting anymore embarrassing takes for the foreseeable future, what matters more is that many women are seeing through the performance — and they’re done applauding.

“There are many other examples of ignorance, and not every drives like this, but too many people do,” he said. This, Quraishi said, especially pains him because the kids watching this chaos are on their way to learn.

The Case No. 9 actor said there also those who think the gate of their kids’ school is the perfect place for a leisurely chat, often as their vehicles — manned by drivers — block traffic.

On the subject of drivers, the actor asked people to “not let their convenience become inconvenient for others” and instruct their drivers to avoid using car horns near schools and hospitals and observe lane discipline.

Quraishi said “distractions like these” during morning commutes ruin people’s entire days and so we all have to be mindful of our behaviour on the road. He also said it was “important to set a good example for our children”.

The actor lamented that when people don’t follow the rules, “kids study one thing in school and see something else entirely on the road”. This, he said, “disturbs their brains” and convinces them the good things they learn in class aren’t applicable in the real world.

“For the future of our children,” Quraishi said, “we all need to make sacrifices.” He asked people to “sacrifice five to 10 minutes in the morning” and teach their kids the right thing.

The actor makes an excellent point about how we present the world to young and impressionable minds, something which goes far beyond traffic laws and into every aspect of our lives.

However, if we may add our two cents, respecting the rules of the road around schools isn’t just a matter of civility, it’s about the safety of our kids. The roads around schools and colleges have heavy pedestrian traffic — usually children — which is why speed limits are reduced in these areas.

Whenever you’re near a school, or really anywhere, please be careful and follow the rules, for your own safety and the safety of those around you.

The actor was joined on the show by Dr Ayesha Uqaily, a consultant psychiatrist, and TV personalities Malaika Farooq and Sonya Sundus. She started by highlighting how people are often very concerned and caring when it comes to visible pain and bruises, but can’t seem to grasp that mental disorders need the same kind of attention.

Saying that just because something isn’t visible, doesn’t mean it’s not there, Gilani said people often don’t even realise what’s happening to themselves, much less what’s happening to others. She said a lot of “strong and capable women” go through this disorder.

The actor said she didn’t suffer from postpartum depression in the aftermath of her first two deliveries and only realised she had developed the condition when she was unable to bond with her third child. She said anyone could go through what she had and that anxiety and panic attacks were common symptoms.

When probed further by host Nida Yasir, she said these panic attacks can present as shortness of breath, cold sweats, an inability to make the smallest decisions and overthinking with overwhelmingly negative thoughts. She said women need support at this time from people around them, as “depression only festers in silence”.

Recounting her own experience, Gilani said she had her husband — a surgeon — by her side to tell her everything was going to be okay. After he calmed her down, she said she had to learn to accept her depressive thoughts, and live with them. That, she said, took “a lot of therapy”.

When questioned on medications, the actor said antidepressants take some time to come into full effect within the body, in which time a depressed person can pose a danger to themselves and others, which is why therapy is usually a safer, more effective choice. She also highlighted the need to seek professional help in the first place because a lot of the thoughts and impulses women experience during postpartum depression are likely to be misunderstood by people who aren’t equipped with the right knowledge.

Gilani said she had received a lot of love from women who had tuned into a previous episode of the programme where she touched upon this issue and advised women to look such things up before they have kids. She also told people to take note of symptoms in themselves and in people around them and seek professional help should these symptoms present.

Dr Uqaily added an important distinction between baby blues and postpartum depression to the discussion. She said it was natural and fairly common for new mothers to be irritable and experience mood swings up to two weeks after childbirth because of inherent hormonal imbalances. She said eight out of every 10 women experience baby blues and really just need love and support from their families in this time. If this continues past two weeks, she said, depression may be taking root and they should see a psychiatrist immediately to begin treatment.

The doctor said postpartum depression can result in new mothers losing interest in their lives and failing to bond with their babies. This, she said, means they can’t care for their child, which makes them feel like they’re bad mothers. She said mothers need to realise these thoughts and feelings stem from a disorder and aren’t a reflection of them as people; they are the result of hormonal and chemical imbalances in their brains.

On prevention, Dr Uquaily said postpartum depression was not completely preventable, but steps could be taken to decrease the likelihood of the condition. She said expectant and new mothers needed to sleep well, eat a balanced diet and surround themselves with positive, healthy relationships. She said pregnant women also needed some “me time” alone by themselves.

She said men can also experience depression as new fathers, largely from social rather than hormonal causes. New fathers, she said, often experience social isolation and a lack of proper rest; this can adversely impact their mental health and they too, should turn to therapy to get better.

The award-winner arrived at New York’s Plaza Hotel on November 4 in a custom upcycled gown embroidered with artwork created by children from Gaza. Each illustration, paired with the artist’s name stitched in Arabic, told a story — one she “proudly carried”, quite literally, on her sleeve.

Accurso was honoured with a spot last month on Glamour’s Women of the Year list. She started posting videos of herself on YouTube six years ago to help her son manage his speech delay. What began almost half a decade ago as a mother’s attempt to help her son has now turned into a global phenomenon.

Her YouTube channel — once just a handful of cheerful sing-alongs — has grown into a media powerhouse: 13 billion views, 17 million subscribers, which she now uses to advocate for the most vulnerable of the world’s children, particularly in conflict zones such as Gaza, Sudan, and Ukraine.

According to Glamour, she had asked a few children from Gaza to create artwork that told their stories for the event. She then got the artwork embroidered on an upcycled dress.

Speaking to red carpet hosts Brooks and Grace Ann Nader, she said, “I’m carrying their stories in my heart. They all know about the dress, and they’re so excited.”

She also carried printed portraits of each child alongside their artwork.

According to Glamour, Ms Rachel requested the children to create drawings that reflected their stories. The finished artworks were then embroidered onto the black gown with a cream overlay on top — transforming it into a wearable gallery of hope, home, and resilience.

Here’s a closer look at the art (and artists) that adorned her dress:

Luna

Luna painted a self-portrait of a little girl hugging a slice of watermelon with a little heart on top — a symbol of Palestinian identity and love for her land.

Shahed

Shahed painted a boat with sails in the colours of the Palestinian flag, with the words “Ride with us” written across its hull.

Rana

Rana created a heart-shaped Palestinian flag encircled by the leaves of an olive tree — representing their enduring connection with the Palestinian land.

She also painted another whimsical visual of the universe, where stars, planets and the moon poured out of a bucket.

Ahmed

Ahmed drew a heart-wrenching drawing of a small boy carrying the burden of his entire house and belongings on his shoulder, depicting the story of millions of displaced Palestinians by capturing the grief of displacement.

For his second drawing, he drew a girl in red skates standing tall with wings on her shoulders.

Anne

Anne drew a large dove covered in colourful flowers — placed prominently on the front of Ms Rachel’s gown — symbolising peace.

Sara

Sara drew a sunset by the shore, with a house and tree beside it — perhaps a longing for home. The sun, painted as a watermelon, echoed the Palestinian spirit of resilience.

Mohammad

Mohammed painted two yellow birds perched on a branch, facing each other, with three hearts in the colours of the Palestinian flag between them.

Rama

Rama painted a little girl walking alone down a long road towards her school, marked by a Palestinian flag atop the building — a scene both hopeful and haunting.

Rahaf

Lastly, Rahaf’s artwork’s life-sized embroidery along the tail of Ms Rachel’s dress told a tender story — a little girl feeding an injured cat from a bowl labelled “Hope”. The scene was rich with detail: a bandage on the cat also marked with “hope,” and beside them, a torn book with a single flower blooming from its pages.

The extraordinary attention to detail and the love with which Accurso shared the stories of the artworks just proves why she’s everyone’s favourite advocate for children around the world.

All photos via Ms Rachel For Littles/Instagram

Accurso started posting videos of herself on YouTube six years ago, singing songs to help her young son Thomas through a speech delay, now her songs — and her iconic look — have become a brand recognisable by toddlers everywhere, the magazine reported. In an interview with Glamour, she said she had always wanted to work with kids and wanted to be a singer, so now she’s living her dreams.

The star said she was deeply inspired by Fred Rogers and his television show Mister Rogers’ Neighbourhood, which she grew up watching. When asked whether his activism inspired her, she said she couldn’t “accept the comparison because it’s just too much pressure,” but that she was “honoured to be in the same sentence as him”.

Like Rogers before her, Accurso is vocal about war, conflict and the impact they have on children. She has consistently raised her voice for children in Gaza and highlighted stories of children affected by Israel’s brutal war, which killed thousands of kids and severely injured many others.

The YouTuber is a global ambassador for the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund (PCRF) and supports their activities in the United States with donations and by spending time with children the PCRF brings to the US for treatment. She’s developed a particularly strong friendship with Rahaf, a four-year-old double amputee from Gaza.

Accurso told Glamour it was painful to hear people say negative things about her over her moral stance, but “kids’ lives are more important than [her] reputation, or something [she] might read that’s painful”. She said she imagines herself in the shoes of mothers whose kids are suffering and that keeps her going amidst the pressure. She has faced many accusations of anti-semitism by pro-Israel lobbyists.

Also on the Women of the Year list is actor Rachel Zegler, another strong voice for the people of Gaza. Zegler was in the limelight last year for her feud with her Snow White costar — and former Israeli service member — Gal Gadot. She told Variety in an interview she “can’t watch children die”.

For two years, Israel relentlessly bombarded Gaza as part of a war on the territory, killing upwards of 68,000 Palestinians. Israel officially agreed to a ceasefire earlier this month along with a prisoner swap. However, the situation remains tense and sporadic Israeli strikes persist, with one of the most recent being conducted in Gaza on Sunday.

Malik, who suffered three miscarriages herself, told interviewer Rabia Mughni she had to give herself strength and keep herself going when nobody else would. In a candid moment, the actor said her mother was initially supportive but then gradually joined the chorus nudging her to try again.

The actor lamented people’s attitudes towards children, saying people were more upset about her losing baby boys in her first and second miscarriages. They’d come to me and say, “Gaya to gaya, beta chala gaya? Oho… (What’s gone is gone, but you lost a son? How sad).” They wouldn’t have been so aggrieved had I lost daughters, she said.

The interviewer asked whether the pressure to have sons made the actor resent her daughters, to which she replied that she had come from a household of four daughters, all of whom were showered with love by their dad, so she never internalised the idea of sons being more valuable.

For girls going through a similar experience, Malik offered some words of advice. “Take care of yourself [first],” she said, adding that women need not take the risks of another pregnancy if their husbands were supportive. Parenting is a full-time job and the people egging you on to have more kids won’t even babysit them later, she said. “Anything more serious [than babysitting],” she added, “you’ll handle yourselves. The hospital visits, the fevers, the colds, that’s all on parents to handle.

“If God is delaying something, don’t try to rush things. Sure, give it a shot, but it’ll happen when God wills it; don’t succumb to [social] pressure.”

Talking about her pregnancy with her second child — her fifth pregnancy overall — Malik said she worried for the baby’s life every day she carried it in her womb. She’d go get the baby’s heartbeat checked every single day, to the point where the hospital began recognising her and stopped asking why she was in.

Malik said finding work in the entertainment industry helped her deal with her miscarriages. Initially a kindergarten teacher, she said she had to leave her job after the stress of her loss starting affecting her attention span and ability to teach. Acting in commercials, she said, helped her shed that stress and later experience a full-term pregnancy.

The actor said she didn’t go to therapy during her miscarriages but saw a therapist later on the recommendation of her daughter, who studied psychology. She said therapy got her through a very dark time in her life and helped her manage a lot of pain. She asked people not to stigmatise seeking help with mental health, asserting that, “people who go to therapy aren’t crazy”.

Malik circled back to the support spouses offer each other when the interviewer asked about any pressure she received from her in-laws to have a son. She said husbands had to be supportive of their wives but stopped short of saying they should fight their parents for their spouse. “I feel if you can convey your parents’ wishes to your wife,” she said, “you can convey your wife’s wishes to your parents as well.”

The actor said a balance was necessary where both spouses compromise a little. Girls, she said, need to adjust to their new homes and should be taught to do so by their parents. However, she rejected the notion that a girl can’t go to her parents for help in her marriage, lamenting the common practice of girls’ parents refusing to involve themselves in their daughters’ lives when necessary.

Talking about her career, Malik said she was very happy to be acting in dramas, explaining her role in her latest project at length. She said her character in Jama Taqseem, Rashida, behaved the way she did out of fear. In Rashida’s mind, the actor noted, her worth in the household would decrease if she questioned authority or neglected household chores, which in turn would decrease the standing of her children. That’s why she serves the family at the cost of neglecting her kids. The actor said she had another project in the pipeline with HUM TV that she was very excited about.

Cover photo: Amna Malik/Instagram

Alongside Saeed, the show also featured Karachi South ASP Nida Junaid, and clinical psychologist Dr Uzma Ali, who broke down how unchecked mental health struggles can escalate to extreme situations when left untreated.

Saeed, however, spoke directly to the root of the issue: the lack of preparedness among many parents who take on the responsibility of raising children without first addressing their own mental, emotional and relational readiness.

“Most people in our country aren’t capable of parenting. Not every couple deserves a child. Not every couple at every point deserves a child. Because are they themselves prepared for that child? Is their relationship sorted? Do they know each other enough? Are they mature enough to cope with problems and responsibilities?” she asked.

Yasir noted how societal pressures often push couples in the opposite direction, saying, “Here, we are told the opposite, that if the husband and wife don’t get along, they should have a child so they start getting along.”

To this, Saeed responded with a pointed critique: “Because we want to tie them together with a responsibility that they’re not able to or equipped to take.“

She added, “A person who can’t even be responsible for themselves, a person who is already dealing with issues, and people here don’t even go to mental health professionals, how can that person take on the responsibility of a child? Even if their mental health symptoms are manageable. I have seen so many well-educated people say things like they don’t believe in mental health, and how can someone fix you just by talking to you?”

Dr Ali also highlighted that we are all human and prone to making errors based on our ability to understand things. “We all have emotions,” she said. “We all learn how to cope with those emotions, healthy or unhealthy, by looking at the people around us, and in some families, people don’t know how to regulate their unhealthy emotions, so children don’t know how to regulate them either.”

Saeed’s comments echo what many people have long been stressing: until Pakistan normalises seeking therapy, acknowledges that mental illness is real, and breaks free from stigma, tragedies like these will continue to surface.

Parenting, Saeed argued, isn’t just about providing food and shelter; it’s about having the emotional capacity to nurture another life, something that cannot be done when one is struggling to cope with their own.

The conversation was a rare moment of mainstream television tackling mental health not as a taboo but as a social necessity. And it highlighted what Saeed put most plainly: before bringing children into the world, parents must first ask if they are ready — mentally, emotionally and relationally — to take on the responsibility.

Saying this made both of them uncomfortable, Nafees questioned how any parent could trust their child in the care of a man. She quoted a 2023 report by Al Jazeera saying a child was sexually abused “every other hour” in Pakistan. The actor said the reality was worse than the statistics, owing to underreporting and families sweeping such incidents under the rug.

Nafees said she and her husband were disturbed by how anyone could leave a male nanny in charge of their kids, let alone their daughters. She urged all parents who can to please switch to female caretakers for their children’s safety.

A report issued in May said 1,828 cases of sexual abuse against children were reported in 2024 of a total 3,364 cases of child abuse in the country. Amongst the abuse victims, 1,791 — or roughly 53 per cent — were girls and 1,573 were boys.

Parents need to keep a vigilant eye on who interacts with their children, as perpetrators of abuse against children are often people with close access to their victims. While this does include caregivers, it also includes family members, teachers, sports coaches, and all other adults — and even older children — kids may come into contact with.

Sharing details of the incident on Instagram, the actor said her daughter was “screaming out of excitement” when a woman from the next table “stood up and gave [her] a dead stare”; a second scream led to a man from that same table shushing the child, which is when Abbas felt the need to intervene.

The actor said the group at the other table said “[her] child was disturbing them”, that “[she] should not have brought her to a restaurant”, and that “[her daughter] should be taught basic manners”. Abbas said she asked the diners if they had children, and upon their denial, tried to explain that the child was not doing this on purpose and that going out with toddlers is tricky. The group, she said, replied that she should get up and leave the restaurant when the baby screamed.

The Ek Jhooti Kahani star said the back and forth continued for 15 minutes, after which the restaurant manager came and apologised. The other group eventually left the restaurant. Abbas lamented that other patrons dining at the establishment turned their heads to look, but none stood up for her during the argument. She said this indifference was why we were “dead as a community”.

In a concluding note, Abbas warned people who don’t have children and want to eat at ‘family restaurants’ that “children are children and toddlers [are worse]”. She asked such people not to “argue with a toddler’s mother over manners” as “this might just trigger the mother to also forget hers”.

Children are adorable, messy and even loud at times; allowances must be made for that. However, compassion is a two-way street, and parents have a responsibility to at least try to ensure their children aren’t disturbing the people around them.

We’re not sure what “family restaurant” Abbas is referring to, but all patrons of any restaurant deserve to be able to eat their food in peace and be able to have a good time. That goes for people with kids, as well as those without.

While we understand that moms have it rough, that doesn’t mean other people have to listen to a screaming child. The other patrons did not need to lecture Abbas on her child’s ‘manners’ — toddlers really aren’t equipped to have manners — but that doesn’t mean they were wrong for not wanting to listen to a child scream while eating their meal.

Maybe the real lesson here is that everyone needs to be a bit more considerate of each other. If your child is screaming, perhaps try to distract them and make it easier on other patrons who don’t need to be subjected to a child’s yelling. If you hear a child screaming, perhaps try to bear with it for a while, because we all know that kids make noise and it’s not always something parents can control.

Taking to Instagram with a video message, the former Strings frontman shared a heartfelt plea to support the show, which he described as his “life’s purpose” after the band’s disbandment. But more importantly, he framed Pakkay Dost as his way of “making Urdu cool again” — a cultural mission aimed at re-instilling pride and comfort in speaking the language among children.

“Pakkay Dost is my way of making Urdu cool again, so our children don’t worry about being judged while speaking our language,” said Maqsood. “Our kids, their parents — everyone is running away from Urdu.”

He expressed concern over the dominance of foreign media in children’s lives over the past several decades, noting that much of the content available is detached from Pakistani values. “The details of [foreign content] are not in our control. What values this content is instilling in our children is out of control,” he said.

Since the end of Strings, Maqsood has turned his focus toward crafting original, high-quality content for children in Urdu — a demographic he feels has long been neglected in local entertainment. “Now, this is me,” he said of Pakkay Dost. “It is my life’s purpose now to make quality content for kids.”

Each season of Pakkay Dost features songs, musical segments, and puppet characters aimed at educating and entertaining children while preserving linguistic and cultural roots. “Every show has 13 to 14 songs. The 33 years of musical experience I’ve had with Strings, I am including that in Pakkay Dost too,” he added.

Acknowledging that screen time is unavoidable, he urged parents and guardians to direct children toward content that aligns with local values: “We can’t put a stop to their screen time, we can’t switch off their phones and tablets, but we can make sure they’re watching good content — content that resonates with our values and traditions.”

Wrapping up his message, Maqsood appealed to the loyal fanbase that supported him through his musical career, “I would be grateful if you continued to support me through my remaining journey, by making sure the kids around you follow and watch Pakkay Dost.”

She also talked about how important it is for boys to understand that their future wives should not be expected to “mother them”. Giving the example of her own son, she said while she may pamper him as his mother, that shouldn’t lead him to believe his wife has to do the same.

At a recent panel hosted by the Almawrid Women Society, she said, “I am a mother and the daughter of a working mother. I never felt that we or our household were deprived of anything because our mother was working. On the contrary, my self-confidence, my humanity, is inspired by my mother’s.”

Jamil recalled a childhood with a present father who played an active role in parenting, not out of compulsion, but with conscious care. “Our father, when our mother was not around, spent quality time with us. He was not clueless,” she said. “So if a woman is deprived of a husband who helps her with domestic duties, then that is her misfortune.”

Cutting into the deeply embedded gender roles in South Asian families, where emotional labour and childcare are often shouldered entirely by women, Jamil reflected on her own experience as a working mother raising both a young daughter who is four as well as a 23-year-old son.

“Not every woman is fortunate enough to have a husband who gives his family time. In that situation, women do end up making a lot of sacrifices. But I am also a mother who works, and I have a four-year-old daughter whom I want to inspire to become a woman who can work, be self-reliant, and be happy to take care of herself,” she added.

Acknowledging how her approach to parenting has evolved over time, she said, “I am a very different mother to my daughter than I was to my son because I have seen that if I don’t take care of my mental and emotional well-being, then I won’t be able to take care of my child.”

A major part of this learning, Jamil argued, involves setting and maintaining clear personal boundaries, something rarely taught to women in our society. “If my son crosses them, even if he speaks to me disrespectfully, he will have crossed that boundary, and I will not entertain it.”

She criticised the culture of self-sacrifice that is romanticised among Pakistani mothers. “In our society, a lot of things are just made up,” she said. “Things like women staying hungry to feed the kids. To an extent, by design, a mother will prioritise her child’s needs over her own. But if I overcompensate, it will be at a cost. It is up to us how much pressure we put on ourselves.”

She went on to talk about how she is raising her son. “When a boy becomes a teenager, he is exposed to all kinds of things,” she said, citing her son’s education at Aitchison College and his exposure to elite feudal households. “At home, he insists I make his plate. And I do that for him because I am his mother. But he cannot expect the same thing from his wife or wife-to-be. He shouldn’t. That girl does not need to mother him. I tell him that he needs to understand this.”

Jamil’s message is ultimately about breaking cycles of guilt, burnout, and gendered expectations.

She wants mothers to not just raise good children, but to raise children, especially sons, who grow into respectful, self-aware adults who do not outsource their emotional needs to women or expect nurturing at the expense of their partner’s well-being.

A persistent — and rather harmful — belief among many Pakistani parents is that if their son is struggling in life, marriage will somehow ‘fix’ him. This extends to his life struggles in general. Burdening him with the responsibilities of marriage, it is believed, will somehow put him on the right track.

This mindset overlooks the need for professional support, and for the women involved in such marriages, the consequences can be much more severe.

TV show host Waseem Badami recently spoke about this issue on the show RAMZ during an interview with actor Mirza Gohar Rasheed. Joining them on the episode was Mustafa Hemani, a Pakistani businessman and entrepreneur and the founder of the Hemani Group of Companies. Badami highlighted how deeply harmful this cultural notion can be, adding that parents should be considerate of the woman they’re marrying their son off to; instead of seeing marriage as a magical solution, they should focus on fixing their sons themselves.

“Ultimately, what happens is, at first, one life is at stake, but then two end up being ruined,” he said. “Don’t be so selfish about it.” While Badami admitted he is an advocate for marriage in general, the context is also important, and it doesn’t apply in every case. His opinion was echoed by Rasheed, who said, “The responsibility of a man is on his family members. Not on a woman who marries into the family.”

‘Insensitivity is not masculinity’

Reflecting on his career as an anchor, one that has exposed him to all kinds of stories, including harrowing subjects like murder and paedophilia, Badami acknowledged how easy it is to become emotionally entangled in the news to the point that it prevents you from functioning.

While he emphasised a need to disconnect, he added that it’s important to be affected by these things. “There’s no shame in admitting it affects you emotionally,” he said. “Some people say, ‘Be a man,’ but men are humans too. These things should impact you in a positive sense. If you become completely desensitised, that’s not masculinity, that’s insensitivity.”

Rasheed brought up the importance of a strong father-son relationship, prompting Hemani to reflect on the close bond he shared with his late father. “If he were alive today and someone saw us together, they’d never guess we were father and son; it looked more like we were friends,” he said.

Rasheed added, “Back in the day, there used to be a lot of distance between fathers and sons. Fathers were seen as figures of fear. If the father came home, everyone would retreat into their corners.” On this topic, Badami stressed the value of maintaining friendly terms with one’s children. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you should disrespect, but it’s important to break those barriers,” he said, adding that he tries to bond with his son every chance he gets.

The right to feel

In a society that equates vulnerability with weakness, it’s no surprise that men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions and discouraged from speaking about their struggles openly.

But there’s a huge catch to this — many men end up carrying around years of pent-up anger and emotional exhaustion that resurfaces in harmful ways, affecting not just the well-being of the men in question but all the relationships in their lives.

In this regard, Rasheed posed a thoughtful question to his guests: “How much permission does a man have to be vulnerable?”

Badami responded by saying that being human means having a mix of strengths and flaws. “There are many situations where I’ve found myself feeling extremely vulnerable,” he admitted. Rasheed followed up, asking, “Are you able to express that vulnerability when you’re feeling it?” to which Badami said that it’s not always possible.

He added that unfortunately the cost of vulnerability is that sometimes people take one for granted. Badami acknowledged the importance of being emotionally open, but warned that one must be careful not to let others take advantage of that vulnerability.

The couple shared the news on Instagram just over a month after their bundle of joy was born.

“Our hearts are full. With love, wonder, and the tiniest little fingers — we welcome our son Vali Hasan Mirza into the world surrounded by love. All that is by the will of Allah — there is no power except through Him. Please keep our little one in your duas,” read the caption of the announcement post.

Saeed announced her pregnancy in a Mother’s Day paying tribute to her own late mother.

Mirza and Saeed have kept their relationship mostly private, announcing their marriage in 2023. Both were married previously — Saeed to her childhood friend and Mirza to model Aaminah Sheikh, with whom he shares a child.

The cast, comprising Samar Jafri, Aina Asif, Reham Rafiq and Abul Hasan, had some very interesting things to say about parenting Gen Z kids and the difference in the way they approach life compared to their parents.

After a brief introduction to their characters, Yasir dove into a topic close to the hearts of many of her viewers — how to parent Gen Z children.

Jafri started off by advising parents not to pressure or force their children to do things. “If you force them, kids become rebellious,” he cautioned, telling parents to explain things to them and then leave them be.

But if you leave them be, they’ll just play video games all night, argued Yasir, who is parent to two children. Rafiq countered this with a pretty sensible argument — children will not be playing video games till late at night if parents inculcate good habits and routines from a young age. “Have faith in your children,” she argued. “Let them make mistakes. That’s how they’ll learn.”

Rafiq said that if parents overreact when children make mistakes, the kids will get scared and never learn from those mistakes. She said that her parents afforded her a great deal of trust as a young actor going to auditions and events, even though they too must have had doubts, but she always told them to come with her if they were doubtful.

Hasan said that parents should try viewing situations through their children’s eyes and give them freedom but supervision.

“Before delving into solutions, we must first identify the problem,” said Asif, who said that Gen Z is a generation with far more awareness than its predecessors. Calling it a very depressed generation, the actor said that she has learned that she too has anxiety around exams. She believes that parents must take this awareness into consideration when dealing with kids.

When they’re communicating with parents, parents shouldn’t shut them off or disregard what they’re saying, she said.

“These are complex and complicated issues, and people often stigmatise them by saying it’s a ‘zehni disease’ or using the word ‘nafsiati’. Don’t use those words, don’t stigmatise it further,” argued Hasan.

“Back in the day, when parents referred to your friend and said ‘that fat friend’, we didn’t think much of it. Today, if we say ‘that fat friend of yours’ to our kids, they say we’re racist,” pondered Yasir, to silence from her guests. “It’s a good change,” Hasan eventually replied, lauding the role of body positivity.

Yasir agreed and said in such cases, kids become parents and shut their parents up.

“Racism, sexism, surface level misogyny — this generation has recognised this and there has been significant growth,” said Hasan.

On the topic of bullying and whether there are more bullies today than there were in previous generations, Asif quoted boxer Mike Tyson and said social media has made people too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.

“Anyone can say anything! Some people, who are sensible, believe everyone deserves benefit of the doubt,” she said of granting grace to people who make mistakes, no matter who they are.

We’re all human, we all make mistakes, interjected Hasan. “Everyone living for the first time,” agreed Asif.

Hasan explained that many young people have an issue with their parents not behaving in a certain way — something he had in the past as well. Yasir interjected to say it was a phase most teenagers went through.

Rafiq explained that parents should realise that the times have changed and so has the environment, but kids should realise that their parents are handling the situation according to what they know.

Unlike previous generations where we thought our parents had no flaws, this generation knows their parents flaws well, Yasir said.

“We can grow together — I make myself better for you, you make yourself better for me. We find a middle ground,” said Hasan. “But we can only seek that common ground when the entitlement between us is finished and how do we end that entitlement? By recognising that our parents are parents for the first time too,” he said.

“We’re living for the first time and our parents are also experiencing being parents for the first time.”

He said that he used to think that his parents weren’t behaving according to the way he wanted, until he recognised that his perspective is built off his exposure and experiences, which might not have been the same things his parents experienced or were exposed to.

“When I pondered this, I realised my parents were doing the best according to what they know.”

These deliberations and concerns are also reflected in the drama, especially Wali’s character who clashes with his father over his career choices.

In a “heartfelt request” posted to her Instagram account, Khan said, “As parents, it is now our responsibility to protect their privacy, allowing them to explore life without the pressure of being in the public eye.”

Khan and Taimoor have two children together, Hoorain, 10, and Rayan, eight.

The actor stated that until her children turn 18 and choose for themselves if they want to be part of the social world, the couple have decided to keep their lives private.

Addressing her fans, she said, “You have not only been with us through our highs and lows but have also watched our children grow since the day we introduced them to you. Your kindness in celebrating their milestones and sharing in their happiness has meant the world to us. We have always considered you more than just fans — you are family.”

In a special request, she asked all the fan pages dedicated to her children to deactivate their accounts because the children are not public figures. Khan also deeply appreciated the love showered upon Rayan and Hoorain.

“Your love and support will always remain in our hearts, and we are forever grateful for the kindness you have shown them throughout the years.”

The note was signed, “With love and gratitude, parents of Hoorain Taimoor & Rayan Taimoor.”

Khan’s post does not signal that the couple will stop posting pictures of their children. Just yesterday, the actor shared pictures from celebrations of Hoorain’s first fast. Other photographs of her family also remain on her Instagram page. Her request to fans also included a picture of her family.

Celebrities often opt to keep their children out of the limelight. Earlier this year, actor Zara Noor Abbas said she wanted to keep pictures of her daughter, Noor-e-Jahan Siddiqui, private and didn’t want others to post them either.

In an Instagram story, the actor said, “If I don’t show pictures of my daughter it means I would like to keep it private. Still, some people don’t have the audacity to respect this.”

American model Gigi Hadid has expressed her wish for her daughter Khai to have a life free from “the stress of the media circus that comes with parents who are public figures”. She has never publicly revealed her daughter’s face.

Karachi-based makeup artist Natasha Ali Lakhani always makes sure that pictures of her daughter’s face are covered with a sticker. “For all those that keep commenting on why I hide her face understand this, from nazar [evil eye], to security reasons to the fact that I am not comfortable sharing pictures of my child or any child on my very public 1 million plus social media platform,” Lakhani wrote on Instagram in 2022.

The couple revealed the news through an Instagram post on Wednesday and called the newest addition to their family, “Our tiny miracle, our biggest blessing.”

“The sight of smallest of hands leaving the biggest of impact is unbelievable,” they said in their joint post, adding that magic awaited her.

The couple had kept Aly’s pregnancy under wraps and revealed it only after their baby’s birth. However, there was some speculation online with rumours swirling that Aly was expecting.

The post was flooded with comments from well-wishers and celebrities congratulating the new parents. Fellow actor and friend Mansha Pasha said that she had predicted Aly would have a girl.

The couple tied the knot in January 2022.

During the episode hosted by Rabia Anum and Danish Taimoor, the couple candidly discussed the emotions surrounding the birth of their daughter and the healing process that followed the stillbirth of their son, Aurangzeb.

When asked if he had hoped for a boy or a girl, Siddiqui responded with gratitude. “I am grateful. I don’t want to say anything that will be portrayed negatively,” he said, before elaborating.

“I just wanted a healthy baby because we had recently lost one. And he was our baby boy, we had even kept his name — Aurangzeb — and done his shopping. So when we were expecting again, I automatically assumed that it would also be a baby boy because our minds were prepared for a baby boy from before, it automatically became a desire,” he explained.

“But then NooreJahan came into the picture and she’s like our baby boy.”

The couple also shared the story behind their daughter’s name. “Initially, it was supposed to be Jahan Ara, then we decided on Noor Jahan,” Asad recalled. “Then my father told us to keep it NooreJahan.”

Siddiqui chimed in with a warm anecdote, revealing that she had intentionally kept the baby’s gender a surprise from Asad.

“I hadn’t told Asad that it was going to be a daughter, so he would ask me names again and again. I would suggest names like Tehzeeb, and he’d get confused, saying that’s a girl’s name. In return, he would suggest names like Daud,” she laughed. “Eventually, I told his parents to take the final call and that’s when he found out — and then he got excited.”

While their conversation was lighthearted, it also carried the weight of a loss that many couples experience but few talk about openly.

Abbas had first opened up about the trauma of birthing a stillborn baby during a podcast with Frieha Altaf in 2022, calling it a moment that changed her life forever. During the conversation, she urged for more openness around the subject and encouraged women to seek strength in each other.

Siddiqui too had spoken about their loss in a 2022 interview with Fuschia, where he described the stillbirth of their baby boy Aurangzeb as a deeply painful time, one that left a lasting impact on them — especially Abbas. He also reflected on the emotional toll it took, and the role of faith in helping them heal, and urged people to be more mindful when commenting on others’ lives without knowing the struggles they may be hiding.

Abbas and Siddiqui tied the knot in 2017. They welcomed NooreJahan into their lives last year.

While the couple did not confirm the news themselves, members of the Pakistan Cricket Team were quick to take to Instagram and congratulate Rauf. Nothing quite like your work friends announcing your fatherhood before you get the chance.

Shaheen Shah Afridi offered his heartfelt congratulations on the birth and wished Rauf’s family “endless joy and happiness”.

Shahdab Khan also congratulated the family on the newest addition to their family.

“Wishing health, happiness and prosperity for the little one and the family. May Allah bless you,” Khan wrote on his Instagram story.

Naseem Shah was also among the early well-wishers. “Wishing you and your family endless joy, love, and precious moments together. May he bring you a lifetime of happiness and proud moments.”

Confirmation is still awaited from Rauf and Malik, but with so many messages from Rauf’s close friends, congratulations seem to be in order!

The couple tied the knot on December 24, 2022 in Islamabad.

The PIF WTA Maternity Fund Program “will offer benefits to more than 320 eligible WTA players”, the association said in a statement.

“WTA players will for the first time receive paid maternity leave up to 12 months, and have access to grants for fertility treatments to build families, as well as other benefits,” it read.

Players will have to compete “in a certain number of WTA tournaments in a window of time” to benefit from the payments.

Belinda Bencic, who won Olympic gold for Switzerland in Tokyo and has returned to the WTA tour after having daughter Bella last April, welcomed the development.

“Absolutely it’s the best news really,” Bencic said after cruising past Germany’s Tatjana Maria in the first round at Indian Wells in California.

“I think we are very proud as players for the WTA (to be) the first sport in female sports to make this.

“It’s great for everyone who is considering to have a family and come back, especially also the lower-ranked players that have to survive somehow when they are not playing for a year and a half and then trying to come back,”

Bencic, who earned her first title since returning from her leave in Abu Dhabi in February, noted that her Thursday opponent Maria was a mother of two.

“I’m really feeling like there are so many moms now on the tour, so we’re trying to show everyone it’s possible to have a baby and play professional tennis,” she said.

Support and flexibility

Two-time Grand Slam winner Victoria Azarenka, a WTA players’ council representative, welcomed “the beginning of a meaningful shift in how we support women in tennis, making it easier for athletes to pursue both their careers and their aspirations of starting a family.”

“Ensuring that programs like this exist has been a personal mission of mine,” the Belarusian former world number one, who gave birth to a son in 2016, was quoted in the statement as saying.

For WTA CEO Portia Archer “this initiative will provide the current and next generation of players the support and flexibility to explore family life, in whatever form they choose.”

Several top players have taken a break from their careers to give birth, with varying degrees of impact on their subsequent careers. The WTA says 25 active players are mothers.

Belgian Kim Clijsters won three majors — the US Open in 2009 and 2010 and the Australian Open in 2011 — after giving birth to her daughter in 2008, following in the footsteps of Australians Margaret Court and Evonne Goolagong, who triumphed at Grand Slams as mothers.

However, 23-time Grand Slam winner Serena Williams did not win any after the birth of her first child in September 2017, even though the American reached four finals at Wimbledon and the US Open.

Four-time Grand Slam winner and former world number one Naomi Osaka of Japan returned to the courts in early 2024 after giving birth to a daughter.

Since then, the 27-year-old’s best result has been a final at the modest Auckland tournament in January.

Criticised by some tennis figures for its record on women’s rights, Saudi Arabia has boosted its tennis investments in recent years, organising the season-ending WTA Finals for the first time in Riyadh last November.

That came months after the WTA entered into a multi-year partnership with the PIF sovereign wealth fund, with the kingdom again set to host the WTA Finals in 2025 and 2026.

The actors are now proud parents of a baby daughter named Aynur.

During their appearance on Nida Yasir’s Ramazan show Shan e Suhoor, the couple reflected on the societal pressures placed on pregnant women. The Radd star fell prey to intense social media trolling when she attended the 9th HUM Awards in London. She flaunted her baby bump in a shimmery bottle green mermaid gown that garnered flak online.

Addressing the unwarranted criticism, Ahmed asked if pregnant women should stay confined to their homes. “Should the woman leave her stomach at home? What should she do? Should she stop going out? Should she stop getting pictures taken? Should she stop working? If a woman is working eight months pregnant, then that’s a big deal. She should be appreciated.”

Bukhari, who worked on dramas Radd and Jaan Nisar until the eighth month of her pregnancy, chimed in, “It’s my job, and I wanted to work. I don’t regret a single minute of the time I spent outside, at work, or with my husband on vacation. That was our last vacation together, just the two of us.”

Ahmed firmly reiterated that societal expectations should not dictate a woman’s choices. “Why should a woman live her life on your terms?” he asked. Bukhari also clarified that she had consulted her doctor before travelling and received the green light to enjoy herself.

In light of all the hate, Mira Sethi had also voiced her support for the actor on her Instagram stories. “What’s being beghairat (shameless) about getting pregnant and radiant and showing up to work? Her body, her beautiful green dress, her choice. More power to Hiba Bukhari and all the women who continue to shine and sparkle in the face of provocation,” she wrote.

When asked about how they kept their pregnancy private until it became public knowledge, Ahmed said, “People didn’t know about our wedding for the longest time either. Both of us are very private. We don’t talk about our personal lives on social media. So the news leaked from someone who was on set with me. And we were telling people in the industry because they had to manage shoot dates accordingly.”

Bukhari said she also had to inform a production house about her pregnancy because she couldn’t take on a project. Yasir told them she had heard about it through the same production house but chose to respect their privacy.

Ahmed took the opportunity to note, “It’s good that you guys had the courtesy not to disclose our big news to others, unlike some people.” While he didn’t name anyone, in September last year, Nadia Khan faced backlash for revealing Bukhari’s pregnancy on her show. She later defended herself, claiming that Ahmed had mentioned it casually on set and had not specifically asked for secrecy. Social media users criticised her for overstepping boundaries and disregarding the couple’s right to privacy.

Bukhari added, “I think that everyone assumes that because there’s ‘nothing to hide,’ it’s not a big deal if they tell. But some things are not yours to disclose. People want to tell it in their own time and in their own way. Even we had taken a picture that we decided we’d use to announce the pregnancy. But when people found out from this other source, they started observing and speculating more, and suddenly there was this chaos. I didn’t know what to say.”

Neither Bukhari nor Ahmed publicly addressed the premature announcement at the time. But it is clear that both the tendency to pry into personal matters and the undue scrutiny faced by pregnant women is unfair. Pregnancy is not an ailment, and women should have the freedom to live their lives without unnecessary interference or judgment.

According to the Guardian, mothers and their partners will be given the right to two weeks of bereavement leave as part of changes to the employment rights bill.

The bill is set to be presented in the House of Commons — the UK’s lower house of parliament — next week. If passed, it will be implemented in England, Wales and Scotland.

Parents in the UK already have the right to bereavement leave if they lose a child or suffer a stillbirth after 24 weeks of gestation. This new rule covers loss during any time in the pregnancy.

The change was pushed for by Labour MP Sarah Owen, who chairs the women and equalities select committee. In a January report, the committee called for the grant of bereavement leave.

According to the UK’s NHS, it is believed that around one in eight known pregnancies will end in miscarriage. The Guardian reported that approximately 250,000 expectant mothers in the UK suffer a miscarriage every year.

Nafees, who announced her pregnancy in November, appeared on Nida Yasir’s show Good Morning Pakistan and said she loved children and her friends’ children but had a certain fear about having kids herself.

The actor quickly clarified that it wasn’t fear as much as having mixed feelings about how things would progress, especially given her line of work where she had to be on screen and in front of people.

“You gain weight, which I’ve gained a lot of. I think I’m feeling it because this is the first time I’ve put on weight and I’m wondering why everything is so bloated.”

Nafees added that other things change during a pregnancy as well, including relationships. She said there were many things people didn’t talk about because they were still considered taboo. In some cases, she said, women were so busy in their journey that they forgot to talk about certain things.

When prompted by Yasir about what these things were, Nafees said it was difficult to pray namaz, particularly after the first month, as well as experiencing morning sickness and lethargy.

“It’s commendable that people work when pregnant,” she said, and the host chimed in that during her third pregnancy she dealt with morning sickness while also hosting a morning show.

Talking about staying active throughout her pregnancy, Nafees said her friend, who was a gym trainer, advised her to continue the exercises she was doing prior to her pregnancy without the heavy weight lifting. The Neem actor highlighted that every pregnancy was different and women had to take their doctor’s advice into account and be careful with what they did.

“I am now doing yoga. I was very active throughout my pregnancy and walked 15 to 20,000 steps every day. I travelled, I took all the flights, I did my production work.” Nafees added that she didn’t cancel anything because of her pregnancy, emphasising that it was key to be as active as possible.

“People are still so shy when talking about pregnancies. When we announced my pregnancy we were in the safe zone because we didn’t want to announce it early due to nazar [evil eye]. However, I want to talk about these things. Why do I have to hide my bump? It’s a very natural thing. No one is saying spread indecency, but it’s something to be proud of. The journey I am going through is so beautiful and I want to share it with the people who are happy for me.”

The actor also spoke about her husband’s support during the journey, and said that while he was always very caring, he made sure to go to all of her doctor’s appointments even if he had to take time out from work. During visits to her gynaecologist, she would wonder why some women were alone, even on the weekends, something the actor found disheartening.

“It made me appreciate my husband, I didn’t even have to tell him.”

Nafees criticised clinics where the father wasn’t allowed in scan rooms and believed that the bond between the father and the child should develop before the child was born. She said her doctor ensured that her husband was allowed inside scan rooms with her.

“It was a joy to see him see the scans, it was very beautiful.”

In an Instagram story, the actor said, “If I don’t show pictures of my daughter it means I would like to keep it private. Still, some people don’t have the audacity to respect this.”

Abbas requested that people stop posting videos of her child and delete those already uploaded to social media. The actor and her husband Asad Siddiqui welcomed Noor-e-Jahan on March 27, 2024.

Abbas is among the many celebrities who wish to keep their children’s photographs private, yet this request is often disregarded. And it’s not limited to celebs on this side of the border.

After Indian actor Alia Bhatt was secretly papped inside her house in 2023 and the photos were posted by ETimes, fellow actor Anushka Sharma shared that the same publication posted photos of her and Virat Kohli’s daughter, Vamika, without their consent even after the couple had repeatedly requested the media to not share their daughter’s photos.

Pakistani actors Yasir Hussain and Iqra Aziz also kept their son Kabir’s face hidden when posting pictures of him after he was born, and only recently revealed his face on their social media accounts. Hussain revealed the reason for all the secrecy in an Instagram post where he humorously said that even though he himself would have loved to post his son’s picture on social media, Kabir’s nani (grandmother) doesn’t approve.

American model Gigi Hadid had a completely different reason, and wished her daughter Khai had a life free from “the stress of the media circus that comes with parents who are public figures”. She has never publicly revealed her daughter’s face.

Karachi-based makeup artist Natasha Ali Lakhani always makes sure that pictures of her daughter’s face are covered with a sticker. “For all those that keep commenting on why I hide her face understand this, from nazar [evil eye], to security reasons to the fact that I am not comfortable sharing pictures of my child or any child on my very public 1 million plus social media platform,” Lakhani wrote on Instagram.

The instances are endless. Last year, Aiman Khan and her husband Muneeb Butt were secretly recorded by a fan while they were on a flight with their children. This sparked an online debate about filming people without their consent, especially young children who cannot consent to being posted on social media.

From Zara Noor Abbas to Gigi Hadid, it is necessary to respect the wishes of celebrities who do not wish to have their children photographed and plastered all over social media — whatever their reasoning might be. Infringing on underage children’s privacy is crossing limits in an effort to get a glimpse into someone’s personal life.

In a time where media consumption, bolstered by social media, is at an all-time high, it’s crucial to reconsider the line between public interest and personal invasion, and more importantly, to recognise that crossing that line has consequences.

In an appearance on Zara Noor Abbas’s podcast, No Momsense, Khawar laid bare the challenges she faced after becoming a mother, the support systems she leaned on, and the lessons she learnt about life.

Candidly admitting that she was not prepared for the emotional toll motherhood would take on her, she recalled that her pregnancy during the peak of COVID-19 was largely peaceful, thanks to her supportive husband, Hamza Ali Abbasi.

However, she said the postpartum phase was not what she was expecting and it took her three years to recover fully.

“I wasn’t aware that this phase would come. No one told me,” Khawar said. “My elder sister told me she’d be there if I needed anything, but I didn’t realise then what she meant. All of a sudden, I felt really angry. There would be nights where I’d be depressed and cry my heart out for no reason. It was the stress, the baggage that comes with having a child.”

Khawar explained how the societal shift in focus — from the mother during pregnancy to the baby post-birth — left her feeling forgotten and overwhelmed.

Adding to the ordeal was the physical toll her body endured. “The first three months after giving birth are very important. I never had backache before, but this pain would crawl up my spine while I was simply having dinner. It was so bad I’d start crying. For one year, I tried everything—gym, exercise — but nothing worked. Then a doctor recommended Moringa powder, which healed my body. Otherwise, I couldn’t even pick up my own baby.”

For Khawar and Abbasi, parenthood also meant reimagining their relationship dynamics and clearly defining their roles.

“When Mustafa came into our lives, we sat down and talked. I think everyone should talk, even before marriage. You should discuss expectations about marriage and having a baby. We decided that he’d earn and I’d take care of the baby, but we can also switch if needed. Women need to have their own lives too.”

Commenting on the unfair societal expectations placed on women, she added, “In our society, the pressure of being a homemaker is always on the woman. If a man even changes a diaper, he’s celebrated. Thankfully, Hamza is very supportive. Whenever I have a shoot, he takes care of Mustafa. Right now, I am here and he is with the baby.”

The road to recovery was neither easy nor short for Khawar. It took her three years to regain a sense of normalcy. “I couldn’t paint anymore, I would sit with a paintbrush in one hand, and stare at the canvas,” she said.

“For someone like me, who lived a free life—studying in an art school, being on set, or travelling—it was hard to adjust.”

What helped Khawar most, she shared, was setting boundaries and focusing on mental health. “Nobody talks about this, but it’s also very important to cut out toxic people from your life, especially before and after pregnancy. Your friends circle naturally changes because you stop relating to people who aren’t going through the same experience.”

The actor also credited Abbasi and her sister as pillars of support during the darkest times. “Hamza was there through it all. My sister, through video calls, made sure I wasn’t getting any suicidal thoughts. I didn’t take therapy, but my doctor kept a check on me too. She made sure I left the baby with Hamza for an hour every day to take a walk or spend time with myself.”

Emphasising the significance of self-care, Khawar continued, “It’s so important to keep your mental health in check and be in a happy state of mind. You have to prioritize yourself to be the best version for your child.”

As she reflected on her journey, she urged couples to have honest conversations and set realistic expectations before entering marriage and parenthood.

She highlighted the need for society to change its approach to parenting, where fathers were equally responsible, and mothers were given the space to rediscover themselves.

According to The Guardian, users under the age of 18 will, in the coming weeks, be blocked from artificially making their eyes bigger, plumping their lips, and smoothing or changing their skin tone.

The restrictions will apply to filters — such as “Bold Glamour” — that alter people’s features in a way that makeup cannot. However, comic filters, such as those that add bunny ears or dog noses, will remain unaffected, the publication reported.

The move comes after widespread concern that beauty filters place pressure on young users, especially girls, to adhere to unachievable standards of beauty. Failing to look like a filtered version of yourself also often has a negative impact on teenagers’ mental health.

A press release by TikTok stated that they commissioned a report from UK-based not-for-profit organisation Internet Matters to examine the role of online platforms in shaping teens’ identity and relationships.

“The final report, ‘Unfiltered: The Role of Authenticity, Belonging and Connection’, […] identified new insights about teens’ use of effects and the impact this has on their sense of self. A clear distinction was drawn between effects designed to be obvious and funny (eg animal ear effects) and effects designed to alter your appearance. Specifically, teens and parents raised concerns about ‘appearance’ effects, including that those viewing the content might not realise it had been altered.”

Additionally, the platform will provide more information about how an effect might change a user’s appearance if applied. “This is in addition to already proactively letting users know when certain effects have been used on content.”

TikTok will also refresh resources for people developing filters to enhance awareness and understanding of some of the unintended outcomes that certain filters may pose.

“By fostering a culture of authenticity, respect and support, we can create a digital world where everyone feels empowered to be their true self.”

TikTok also announced it was tightening its systems to block users under 13 from the platform. Before the end of the year, it will launch a trial of new automated systems that use machine learning to detect people cheating its age restrictions, The Guardian reported.

The platform said every month, it removes six million accounts globally because the minimum age requirement was not met.

It detailed that it was exploring how new machine learning technology could better efforts to prevent people under 13 from being on the platform.

“This technology will help detect accounts that may belong to someone under 13 so that a specially trained moderator can review the account and remove it if they believe someone doesn’t meet our minimum age.”

However, people will be able to make an appeal if they think TikTok has made a mistake.

In an Instagram post, the popular kids content creator said, “It’s not right that children don’t have food. We need to do better for our world’s precious children.”

Accurso, in her caption, detailed that in Gaza, a recent report showed that 90 per cent of the population was facing extreme food insecurity, and one in three children under two years of age were acutely malnourished in northern Gaza.

She added that due to the conflict in Sudan, the country was experiencing the world’s largest hunger crisis with more than 25 million people facing acute hunger.

“And even worse: famine has been confirmed in Zamzam camp, which is a refugee camp in the North Darfur Region that is home to hundreds of thousands of people.”

Accurso continued that in Haiti 5.4 million people — nearly half the population — did not have enough to eat, and that hundreds of thousands of children were suffering from malnutrition.

“Mali — a land-locked country in Africa faced with high food prices, climate extremes and conflict which have pushed over a million people into food insecurity. Mali also hosts over 350,000 internally displaced people, half of whom are children who rely heavily on humanitarian food assistance.”

She said that while world hunger might feel like an unsolvable issue, people could make a difference, adding that the United Nations World Food Programme was working in these regions and other places to provide food for those in need.

Accurso put a link on her Instagram page where people could learn about the programme and how they could contribute to it.

In May, Accurso faced backlash after she launched a campaign to raise funds for children in distress in Gaza, Ukraine, and Sudan.

In a tearful video shared to her Instagram account, Accurso said she was facing severe bullying for not caring about “all children”. The criticism came after she did not include Israeli children in her campaign.

Despite the backlash, Accurso, whose YouTube videos boast hundreds of millions of views, raised over $50,000 in a few hours through her campaign.